# 24 - Adam Thomas: Where is Reality?

[00:00:06] Speaker A: All right, perfect. We're back. We got Adam Thomas, the most handsome man that's ever set foot in this apartment. He's a comic, good friend, very, very, very funny dude. He did fluff all the pillows before, so if it looks nicer in here, it's because he did that. [00:00:24] Speaker B: I am the onset fluffer. Thank you so much for having me. [00:00:28] Speaker A: He's gonna be fluffing me later. No. [00:00:32] Speaker B: Oh, that's on the Patreon. That's not for free, guys. [00:00:35] Speaker A: Sorry about that, but thanks for coming, dude. [00:00:38] Speaker B: Thank you. I. It was a treacherous journey. I took the entire Q train and then some. And when I got on the bus, there was somebody watching Instagram reels without their headphones. Obviously, that's typical. And there was a morbidly obese man that I could like, smell. Fermunda. [00:00:59] Speaker A: Fermunda cheese. It's my favorite kind of cheese. [00:01:02] Speaker B: I was just like, I'm in hell. I'm in hell. And now I'm off the bus and I'm in this lovely home. [00:01:09] Speaker A: It wasn't. Aren't you glad you came? You had to take that horrible ride. [00:01:11] Speaker B: It's pretty nice out here. [00:01:13] Speaker A: It's a nice area. That's the thing. People don't. People are like, what the is going on out here? It's just. It's far, dude. It's very far. Journey. I feel bad making people come here. That's the thing. [00:01:21] Speaker B: You should. You should feel really bad. [00:01:23] Speaker A: I know. [00:01:24] Speaker B: Terrible. It was worth the trip. I think. [00:01:27] Speaker A: We'll find out. [00:01:27] Speaker B: You'll see. You'll all see. [00:01:30] Speaker C: But we. [00:01:31] Speaker A: I mean, we could talk about what we were talking about before. You. You like about the. The sense of shared reality. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Oh, my. Existential crisis. [00:01:38] Speaker A: I think so. [00:01:38] Speaker B: I mean, let's start out soft. [00:01:40] Speaker A: Okay. I think that's. I just. I think it's an interesting thought, because I feel the same way as you, where we're not. You were saying. What were you saying exactly? [00:01:49] Speaker B: Well, so I feel like a comedian's job is to find what connects us all as humans. [00:01:56] Speaker A: I agree. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Like, I'm using my experiences, which is not something that everyone has lived, but I'm using those experiences to connect me to everyone in the audience. [00:02:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:06] Speaker B: And I'm finding that there is a smaller and smaller window for us to all meet in the middle, because everyone's in their little silo. They have their own reality. I mean, just having dinner conversations with people, even. Even, like, outside of comedy. [00:02:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:27] Speaker B: Where you say this thing that you're so sure everyone agrees with you. On. And you could not be more off base because they don't see the world the same way you see the world. And it's not necessarily because they're bad people. [00:02:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:45] Speaker B: It's just they're only seeing a small part of the world, and you're seeing a different small part of the world. [00:02:53] Speaker A: And are you. Do you think that has to do with the Internet or do you think that's just like the times where. I mean, I guess it's the times we're living in have to do with the Internet. So one would lead to the other. [00:03:03] Speaker B: I guess it is the Internet. But then, you know, also just maybe these silos always existed. [00:03:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker B: But we only had one media arm, which was like television or one media arm, which was radio. [00:03:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:18] Speaker B: Where there was more of a consensus as to what reality was. So even across different places, there was at least some shared reality or shared cultures. Like, even within America. [00:03:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:33] Speaker A: Like, you go, even if. Okay, so even if everyone shows up to a comedy club in, like, the 80s, we'll say they're all sort of on the same page about most things. [00:03:41] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:42] Speaker A: And then it was, I guess, harder was. You think it would be harder for the comedian then to try to get them to see their perspective? Because then the comedian then back then would seem really insane if everyone was on the same page and he wasn't. Or do you think it's harder now because. [00:03:59] Speaker B: Well, I just. [00:04:00] Speaker A: Everyone's just on a different page. [00:04:01] Speaker B: I'm talking about in the context of, like, current events, really, where I'm just like. We hear the same story about the same event. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:10] Speaker B: We hear two totally different perspectives. [00:04:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:14] Speaker B: And it's. We don't get to hear both of them. We only hear the one that makes us feel good. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little echo chamber. [00:04:23] Speaker B: Or we show them the one that pisses us off. [00:04:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:26] Speaker B: But there's no. Just like, oh, all right. That happened. There's a, like, news program that you can watch that's just. This is what happened today. [00:04:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:37] Speaker A: This is. And you figure out. You. You make it. [00:04:39] Speaker B: You tell me how you feel about it. You have your own opinion about it. But all the news programs are, this is what happened, and this is how you should feel about it. [00:04:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:47] Speaker B: And this is how I feel about it. And now I was. I was having maybe an aneurysm. I was watching. I was on YouTube and I was watching, like, a independent media journalist, and they were watching a pundit on CNN talking about a news issue. And I was thinking to myself, it's like I'm watching commentary on commentary on commentary. There's 12 layers of this story. It's exhausting. And I just. I'm gonna check out. No matter how terrible the story is. [00:05:20] Speaker A: Well, now we have. We live in a world where it's like we're reviewing the reviews of the reviews. So like you were saying, it's almost like you're. You're going, what alternate reality am I living in right now? [00:05:29] Speaker B: Who cares? Where are we? Where am I? [00:05:33] Speaker A: I feel the same, dude. [00:05:34] Speaker B: It's I at the end of the Q train. [00:05:37] Speaker A: Well, yeah, you're really in the fucking twilight zone today. But I sit here and I. And I look at things and I liked. I used to consume more and create less. I guess when you're growing up, most of us, I guess as comics now, we create more. And maybe we have to consume just. Just as much because we need to tell the world how we feel or whatever you want to call it, or get on stage with an opinion on something. But I sometimes. And this is gonna sound fucking nuts where I'm like, this is even like life, like, just the existence now. And I never used to feel this way. I'm like, is any of this real? Like, you almost wanna. I'm not suicidal, but like, you wanna jump off a bridge to go, like, what the fuck is this? You know what I mean? Not, like, actually kill yourself, but like, I've gotten so insane from the Internet that I'm just like, what's real? You know what I mean? Am I scaring the shit out of here? [00:06:33] Speaker B: I'm so scared. No, I definitely. There is like a. A problem now where I feel like there is a battle for what reality is. [00:06:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:46] Speaker B: And it's being controlled by people who own these social media platforms. Just like if a news organization, it's being controlled by a certain person. Like Fox News is owned by Robert Murdoch or whatever. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:00] Speaker B: So I feel like. Like I had a Twitter specifically at one time for following stocks. [00:07:06] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:07] Speaker B: During the pandemic, I got really into trading stocks. [00:07:10] Speaker A: Really. [00:07:11] Speaker B: I thought that I was going to be really good at it. [00:07:13] Speaker A: And what happened? [00:07:14] Speaker B: I lost all the money I made, but I didn't lose anybody, which is. [00:07:19] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:07:20] Speaker B: So you could be worse. [00:07:21] Speaker A: You. You ended. You were. You ended even. You were in the. [00:07:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it was like a fun little gambling game. [00:07:25] Speaker A: That's cool. [00:07:26] Speaker B: And it felt like estimated guessing, but what have you. I had a Twitter account because you need to have rumors of things happening. You don't. You want to buy the stock before the thing happens, not after. Once it's already in the news, it's too late, it's done. So then I noticed just like slowly but surely, they were just showing me things that I knew they knew I did not want to see. [00:07:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:49] Speaker B: If you purport to have all this data on all of these people. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:53] Speaker B: The things that they were showing me were things that would purposefully enrage me and I would find myself like, rage typing at somebody that I've never met, that I really wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. I really don't care. And I would never present because that's when I would like, snap out of it. [00:08:14] Speaker A: You're lucky you have. [00:08:15] Speaker B: I am lucky. Because you see some of the things people write to like the president, bro, where I'm like, that could get. You said to get mo. [00:08:24] Speaker A: You could do it easily. It's insane. It's fudgeing insane. I had, I posted a video yesterday. [00:08:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:31] Speaker A: I saw, I went, I got enraged. It got taken down. But the amount of that people were writing to me. I had hundreds of comments of just hateful shit. And, and I didn't, I don't think it was a hateful video. I didn't think it did anything wrong. But people were fucking. They write shit to you and you just go, I, you know, I'm a person. [00:08:48] Speaker B: But I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to say that that joke was nuanced, but it was the, The Charlie Kirk 20. [00:08:58] Speaker A: The 22 year old thing. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yes. [00:09:00] Speaker A: About me doing coding. [00:09:00] Speaker B: I just mean it's, it's, it's a nuanced joke in that it wasn't about Charlie Kirk at all. [00:09:05] Speaker A: At all. It had nothing. [00:09:06] Speaker B: It was the, it wasn't about the kid at all. [00:09:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:09] Speaker A: It was about me. [00:09:10] Speaker B: It's about you. Awesome. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it. [00:09:15] Speaker B: And I think it's, it's also. There's a censorship happening. It's a self censorship as well because of the monetization on these social media platforms. [00:09:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:26] Speaker B: Where like you can't say suicide. You have to say un alive yourself. [00:09:33] Speaker A: It's crazy. [00:09:34] Speaker B: But the meaning is the same. [00:09:36] Speaker A: That un alive is not even a word. [00:09:40] Speaker B: But the meaning is the same. The action is the same. It's just as violent and terrible. [00:09:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:45] Speaker B: But in order to be monetized, these people say it this way. And then it's grooming the population to think that it's somehow wrong to just say the word suicide if that's what happened. [00:09:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:00] Speaker B: It's not a dirty word. [00:10:02] Speaker C: No. [00:10:02] Speaker B: And the. You're not fundamentally changing anything by just changing the word 100%. And in some respects, it makes it sound silly. Like, I. I sometimes watch these news programs on, like, on YouTube where instead of rape, they'll say grape. [00:10:20] Speaker A: I've seen that. [00:10:21] Speaker B: And I'm like, you're actually making it worse. Yeah. It's like almost like you're patronizing them for being a victim. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:31] Speaker B: I don't feel like it's the right way to go. And I do feel like changes behaviors and trains people to do nothing. They're not doing anything, but they feel like they're doing something. [00:10:44] Speaker A: I know, man. I fucking know. And I don't. It's really unfortunate because it's not even like a. This. They control everything, like, your whole career, your whole fucking. Like, if you. At least in entertainment. And it's really unfortunate to me. And I think it's a fucking. A stab at the English language that. Where you're like, we. We. We work with words. Our things are words. And. And I get really artistic about it. And I know I'm disgusting on stage. I say horrible shit, but there is an artistic way of saying something. And you know who does it best is Corey. When he goes on stage, he uses specific words to paint a picture, and it's incredible. And you need to say these. These things. Like you said. Otherwise, it's. You're. It's silly. That's the best way to. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Very silly. [00:11:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:30] Speaker B: You're making an ass out of yourself, honestly. But I think it's deeper than just entertainment. I think they're building databases on every single person. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, we gave our DNA away, but that's. That's another. [00:11:44] Speaker B: I did not. Yeah, my brother did do the ancestry thing. So now if I commit a murderer, they already have my DNA. [00:11:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:52] Speaker B: So that ruins killing. I have nothing better to do tonight. I'm going to have to figure something else out. But. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Be funny. I turn to the news, I go, holy shit, Adam. On Alive Someone. [00:12:06] Speaker B: It's always something like, we're doing this for your convenience. And that never is what it is. They're just collecting all this data so they could piece it together and. And they could have, like, an FBA FBI dossier on anyone so that if you ever step out of line, they can ruin you. [00:12:22] Speaker A: You're toast. [00:12:22] Speaker B: You're toast. And it's not just entertainment. [00:12:25] Speaker A: No, it's not. I guess I was looking at it from a professional standpoint, but in a. In a regular Societal standpoint, it. You're. You're done regardless. [00:12:31] Speaker B: I mean, like, they. With this Charlie Kirk shooter, when they caught this guy, it was just people going online, little investigators, and they're like, who did he vote for? Who did he donate money to? Who are his parents? Like, within 24 fucking hours. And obviously that information is going to be used in an unreasonable way when it's being opined on. [00:13:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:02] Speaker B: By untrained idiots. [00:13:06] Speaker A: The, The. That's the problem with the Internet is that most people think that they. They matter. They're not. Everyone's opinion matters, which sounds fucking horrible, but it doesn't. [00:13:16] Speaker B: And they, but they, like, they want to. They feel better when they have heard what they hear. [00:13:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:21] Speaker B: What they want to hear. [00:13:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Everyone fucking does. [00:13:24] Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, if you're in your Fox News echo chamber or your conservative echo chamber and you hear them say it was a liberal that shot him, and then the news comes out later that he comes from a complete Republican, Mormon, white family, as should have been obvious to anybody since it happened in Utah, they already heard what they wanted to hear. [00:13:50] Speaker A: That's it. [00:13:50] Speaker B: They're not listening to the conclusion. [00:13:53] Speaker A: And I, I will say this because I. I'm a. I'm a. Some. I re. I lean right on certain things and I lean left on certain things. It's just how I am. And I'm so. I guess you would say I'm moderate. I'm in the middle. I realized, though, recently that I'm not any of these things. I'm just a fucking human being. And you guys are all fucking crazy. And no matter what side, once, like you said, once they hear it, you're done. That's it. That's. They're tuned out. Like, I read that the shooter apparently had a trans girlfriend or something. I'm like, who gives a shit about his girlfriend? That has nothing to do with. [00:14:28] Speaker B: Well, the Minnesota one. He had a furry girlfriend. I think I told you that one was that. [00:14:32] Speaker A: You did tell me that. That's funny, though. That's funny. [00:14:35] Speaker B: But that. Yeah, but I. And I was like, I knew it. I knew. [00:14:38] Speaker C: Once I heard that. [00:14:41] Speaker A: I cracked this case wide open. [00:14:43] Speaker B: I called that one. But that one, I. I had a joke about it. Nobody really thought it was funny, but it was just like. It's felt like it was a manufactured story. It didn't feel real. And we were talking about, like, how we don't feel like there's reality. That felt like something out of a movie where, like, the Republicans have been railing about all these different groups of people. [00:15:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:08] Speaker B: And this shooting happened by a trans person. [00:15:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:12] Speaker B: At a church in Tim Wall. It really feels unreal. It doesn't feel like a real thing. And I don't even know that I trust the people in power to tell me the truth anymore. [00:15:22] Speaker A: I don't. I definitely don't. And that could be fake. Look, the guy who killed Charlie killed Charlie Kirk. That could be a patsy. Like, I don't know. It could be, like, a Lee Harvey Oswald. And we know that he didn't shoot the president. And if he did, he wasn't acting alone. Yeah, I don't. I don't fucking know. All I know is that. And a lot of people were telling me, they're like, he didn't shoot him. We don't know this is a setup. Jfk, whatever, Whatever. And I'm like, I didn't say he shot him. I'm like, I'm just telling you what I was told. Apparently, this is the guy who killed him. And if I go any further, as far as. I just want to find what's funny about the situation. You know what I mean? That's it. I just want to find the funny. I'm not gonna sit here and go, there's no way he did it, man. Like, I don't. I don't got time for that. [00:16:03] Speaker B: Well, I did feel like the. There was a lot of push. Well, I don't know if it's purposeful or just the way the algorithms worth work with anger. [00:16:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:12] Speaker B: But there was, like, a big push to get you to care. [00:16:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:15] Speaker B: In either direction. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:16:16] Speaker B: And for me, I was like, this guy would not give a shit about me if I was alive or dead, probably. Why should I care? I don't care either way. It's just a thing that happened. [00:16:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:28] Speaker B: There is eight shootings a week, seemingly. [00:16:31] Speaker A: I think that the fact that this was on video so quickly. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:35] Speaker A: That was the crazy. Someone sent it to me, and I was like, the fuck is this? And when. Oh, I was like, literally like, what the fuck? I didn't even know who Charlie Kirk was. Maybe I'm a fucking idiot, but no idea. But I don't disagree with what you said. [00:16:48] Speaker B: I. I just. We also. Yeah. We live in hell. There were people just, like, live streaming it. They're like, what's up, fam? Charlie Kirk's bleeding out under me. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Follow me. Subscribe. That's. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Follow, subscribe. Like, that's really the future that we live in. That was like. Do you ever watch Black Mirror? [00:17:06] Speaker A: I've seen a Couple episodes. [00:17:07] Speaker B: There was one episode where it was about this future where like the future of punishment where they would just like wipe your memory and put you in this like Disney Disneyland of torture. [00:17:19] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:19] Speaker B: Where like people would pay money to watch you being chased by like murderers and psychos. And they would wipe their memory every day and have them go through that every single day. [00:17:31] Speaker A: That's horrifying. [00:17:32] Speaker B: But like, they didn't necessarily remember what they did. Like that they were bad people. [00:17:38] Speaker A: Oh, so they were just getting tortured and they didn't know why? [00:17:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:41] Speaker A: That's fucking crazy. [00:17:42] Speaker B: But that's, that's sort of what it seems like. I think I was watching your episode with Riley and he was talking about like somebody posted that their dog died. And it's like so and so likes this. And that's really what it feels like sometimes where it's depos like, my mom has cancer. It's been really hard. And all said, it's like 8,000 likes. What? [00:18:05] Speaker A: It's a weird thing to be like, I have to like this. [00:18:08] Speaker B: But then what happens if you dislike it? [00:18:10] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. You're not. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Then you're like, are you saying that you don't like, she like has cancer? Are you saying that you don't like this person for complaining about it? [00:18:18] Speaker A: It's such a crazy thing. And that leads us back to real. Whereas is reality on the Internet now or here? Because it seems more like that's the reality is that life is on the Internet. Your social life matters on the Internet more. [00:18:32] Speaker B: Reality is only on the Internet if you are on the Internet. [00:18:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree. When I got. That's a very solid point. [00:18:40] Speaker B: You have to just leave your house. And I like, sometimes I look at my phone and it says like, you were on the phone 11 hours today. And I was like, was I even awake for 11 hours? What is happening? Yeah, I have a full time job. I'm in big trouble if my boss ever sees that. Let me tell you. [00:19:01] Speaker A: Adam, we need to talk. [00:19:02] Speaker B: We need to talk because you're supposed to be on your phone all day. Oh my God. But yeah, I mean reality and. But that's, that's the thing is that like people talk like they're on the Internet now or they sensitive themselves like they're on the Internet now. It's like 10 years ago when people would say lol and we'd be like, Jesus Christ, like out loud. [00:19:22] Speaker A: I would, I hate that. Now still, if someone says LOL to me, I go, what? [00:19:25] Speaker B: It's to. It's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible. But people talk like memes because that's. [00:19:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:31] Speaker B: The culture that they're consuming. And we don't have an Austin Powers. We don't have a Borat. [00:19:40] Speaker C: No. [00:19:41] Speaker B: There used to be a time. [00:19:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:43] Speaker B: Where there was one silly character. [00:19:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker B: That no matter where you were on the political spectrum, you all loved him. You could be like my wife, and everyone would start laughing. [00:19:54] Speaker A: That's a great point. [00:19:56] Speaker B: We don't have one. There's no Austin Powers. [00:19:59] Speaker A: There's no Austin. [00:19:59] Speaker B: There's no Borat. There's no Monty Python. Like, we. There was always, like, some little skits happening that you could just, in an awkward silence, just quote it. And everyone would start cracking up. [00:20:11] Speaker A: That is a re. Oh, my God, dude. That. My brain up just now. That's a really. No, it's true. You. That was. You could align on that. No matter what. [00:20:21] Speaker B: No matter what. [00:20:21] Speaker A: No matter who you are. Everyone liked that. [00:20:23] Speaker B: You could just say, did I do that? And everyone would start laughing hysterically. Maybe that's what I'll change my act to be. [00:20:30] Speaker A: That's. You should do. You should do. What's his name? [00:20:33] Speaker B: Urkel. [00:20:34] Speaker A: Urkel. There we go. [00:20:34] Speaker B: Urkel. Yeah, that would. That's not a good idea. [00:20:37] Speaker A: No, that'd be terrible. Like, I got blackface now. [00:20:40] Speaker B: What? Well, it might be coming back. [00:20:44] Speaker A: Honestly, I don't know. I. I. What's his face? Just did. What the. Is his name? Drew. So he made a video. Dude, look. Looked white. He. I was. He was white, dude. It was crazy. [00:20:56] Speaker B: White face. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah. It was amazing. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Well, so one of my favorite open mic experiences was this guy came in. I was hosting. Guy came in. He was Asian. [00:21:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:05] Speaker B: From Canada. He just sounded like an American. Had a Canadian accent, whatever. [00:21:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:10] Speaker B: He goes into the room and has, like, an Asian caricature mask on before he meets anybody. And he's Asian, and he's Asian under the mask. But the mask was, like, a racist caricature of an Asian person. And he goes up and proceeds to do, like, a racist caricature of an Asian person. And I was cackling. [00:21:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:31] Speaker B: Because I knew that he was Asian. [00:21:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:33] Speaker B: But everyone in the audience was like, what the hell is happening? Why is the host letting this happen? And he did it the whole time. He didn't take it off. He just got off the stage, left the room. And I had to explain to everybody, I'm like, he's Asian under there. And everyone started laughing then. But before, they were just clenching, like. [00:21:56] Speaker A: Now let me ask You. Because you host a lot and you've been doing comedy for a while. What do you think? Like, if you're hosting and he was an Asian, what do you do? Do you think, like, it. Just let it rock. [00:22:10] Speaker B: So in my experience, maybe it's just New York. [00:22:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:15] Speaker B: There was one time a guy went up and said the N word. [00:22:18] Speaker A: I remember. I heard that. [00:22:19] Speaker B: And every single person after him went on to berate him for the five minutes of their set. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Destroyed him. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Just destroyed him. [00:22:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:27] Speaker A: And this is an older gentleman. [00:22:28] Speaker B: The guy, an older gentleman. I've never seen him come back again. [00:22:33] Speaker A: I think I saw him once more. [00:22:35] Speaker B: Did he do the same joke again? [00:22:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:37] Speaker A: He goes, I don't know why. I can't say it. [00:22:38] Speaker B: Okay. It doesn't work, guys. Shame doesn't work. [00:22:42] Speaker C: But. [00:22:45] Speaker B: I thought it worked. I thought we banished him and he was like, my comedy. I can never come back. So he went, you know, Riley said. [00:22:54] Speaker A: To me, he's like that. Remember I told you about the N word guy? I was like, yeah. He goes, he's sitting right there. [00:22:57] Speaker B: Good for him. [00:22:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:59] Speaker B: So he knows his brand. [00:23:00] Speaker A: I mean, the way I see it. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:23:04] Speaker A: You can't tackle someone off stage the second they say a word. [00:23:07] Speaker B: But it's also, you know, I'm a white guy. [00:23:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:10] Speaker B: So when people were like. That's what people were saying. When I went back up, they were like, why didn't you say anything? And I was like, he's Asian, I'm white. I'm gonna tell the Asian guy. You can't do that. Asian joke. [00:23:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:24] Speaker B: It sounds ridiculous. [00:23:25] Speaker A: No, you can't. And. And you also. Unless someone. I think. What if you're using. I mean, I don't. I would never would say the N word on stage because I have a brain. [00:23:35] Speaker B: But just in my car. [00:23:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:37] Speaker B: Just in traffic and the windows closed and DMX is blasting. [00:23:42] Speaker A: What? I don't care what anyone says. I say it when I'm fucking listening to music. Anyone who says they don't is a fucking liar. They're a liar. [00:23:51] Speaker B: You think we're going to say ninja? [00:23:52] Speaker A: Yeah. No. [00:23:53] Speaker B: When we're all by ourselves. [00:23:54] Speaker A: What are you going to do? It's a great song. Song. All right. I'm not gonna stop with every word. All right, then you could quote me on that. I don't give a. Anyway, I just hate everyone's lying. I've never said the N word before. You. Yes, you have. Yes, you have. [00:24:09] Speaker B: We all had the 50 Cent album. [00:24:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:24:12] Speaker C: Dude. [00:24:12] Speaker B: We all did it. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:24:14] Speaker B: If you not in mixed company. [00:24:16] Speaker A: 100. 100. And. And that's. It just drives me crazy. So I need to say that. All right, this will haunt me in 10 years. I know, but whatever. But the guy says it, and he's not going, like, he's not using it at somebody. Yeah, he was. He was saying the word. [00:24:33] Speaker B: It was somebody that said it to. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Him, and he was really. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Was black. [00:24:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's like. Well, I guess, like, I wouldn't stop someone unless he's found someone and did it. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Where. [00:24:42] Speaker A: If he was, you know, saying, like, calling us kike or something, I would go chill. [00:24:47] Speaker B: Maybe he's of the same school. Like, we were talking about suicide, and maybe we're the silly ones because he wasn't. [00:24:55] Speaker A: I mean, that's an argument, too, that. [00:24:58] Speaker B: I'm going to get canceled for making that argument. [00:25:00] Speaker A: No, but you have to. [00:25:01] Speaker B: I mean, he wasn't saying it to somebody. He was quoting a black person saying it to him. [00:25:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:09] Speaker B: Was it necessarily important for the joke? Was he going to laugh at that joke anyway? No and no. So the thing about open mics is, like, as long as your heart is in the right place. I try not to censor people. [00:25:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Because we all know that we're, like, poking the bear and we're trying to figure out what's working and what's not. And they're not all going to be winners. No, they're fucking like. Especially when you try and go off the cuff and you're, like, riffing off of what somebody before you said. They're not all great. [00:25:45] Speaker A: It could come out really wrong. [00:25:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:47] Speaker A: And you. You could. You don't mean it to. It's just. That's a part. It's a dangerous job. You're kind of just walking on a beach filled with landmines. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:56] Speaker A: Praying that you don't step on. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Of course. [00:25:59] Speaker A: And I. It's exciting, it's fun, but it's a fucking. It's dangerous. Yeah, but I. I'm of the belief of just. Hey, like, he gave it a shot. Like, if someone said, why didn't you get rid of him? Or whatever. But look, he. He. What. What am I. [00:26:14] Speaker B: What are we gonna do? [00:26:14] Speaker A: What am I gonna do? All right, realistically, what the am I gonna do? He came up here, he tried something. He thought that was gonna be funny. I've. I've gotta assume he's a good guy. If I assume that people come in here, everyone's gonna be a piece of. To me then because of the things that are said. In this room. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:29] Speaker A: They're wild. [00:26:30] Speaker B: It's very rare that somebody comes in with bad intentions ever. Do people usually just come and embarrass themselves? [00:26:36] Speaker A: That's it. And that's their punishment of, like, that's. I don't have to say anything. They. They felt the room. It sucked. [00:26:41] Speaker B: I mean, we're there to have a laugh. [00:26:43] Speaker A: That's the whole point. [00:26:44] Speaker B: There was one guy that came and thought it was like, whatever you want to do. Like, he just thought it was like an open mind. [00:26:52] Speaker A: It's a free for all. [00:26:53] Speaker B: And he was like, I want to sing. And I was like, is it. Are you doing a funny song? Like, no, I'm gonna do like, Sia Chandelier. And I was like, no, no, you're not. [00:27:05] Speaker A: No singing allowed. [00:27:07] Speaker B: Yeah. And I felt like, what am I, the singing police? But maybe he was good. I don't know. [00:27:13] Speaker A: You get fucking. It's. It breeds crazy fucking people. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:17] Speaker A: You just. He just pulls in the most insane. [00:27:19] Speaker B: Well, so. So then I let him go up. He was like, I'm gonna do jokes. I'm gonna do jokes. So he goes up. He asked somebody to give them his joke. Their joke book. [00:27:29] Speaker A: Oh, no, no. [00:27:29] Speaker B: So somebody gives it to him, and he looks. Lifts through it. He goes, does anybody else have a joke book? And he was like, roasting everybody. [00:27:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:36] Speaker B: And complaining about how I wouldn't let him sing. [00:27:38] Speaker A: And. [00:27:39] Speaker B: And he was getting the most laughs of anybody all night, and it pissed me off. [00:27:45] Speaker A: That always sucks when the guy who's like a prick. [00:27:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:48] Speaker A: Ends up being one of the funny. There's nothing. And also. [00:27:50] Speaker B: But he didn't mean to be. He was just an asshole. [00:27:53] Speaker A: That's what makes it worse. [00:27:54] Speaker B: People were laughing. [00:27:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:56] Speaker B: And I was like, you know what? I should have let you say. [00:27:58] Speaker A: You should have. You would have fucking. But yeah, honestly, I would have just been like, you know what? Go for it. Go for. [00:28:02] Speaker C: See it goes. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Yeah, let's see it. Come on. [00:28:04] Speaker B: I want to hear it. Really? [00:28:05] Speaker A: But I think it's a great idea. [00:28:06] Speaker B: I want to see it. See. And sing. [00:28:08] Speaker A: See it. Dude. [00:28:10] Speaker B: He didn't have the wig, though. If you're gonna do Sia, you need. [00:28:12] Speaker A: You gotta cover that or be shy. LaBeouf. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:28:16] Speaker A: But that's a great music video. You ever seen that video with a little girl? It's creepy, but you want to know something? I just. There's something about the. It's like a little girl in a flesh. No, it's not about the little girl. You. It's About. There's a. First of all, Shia LaBeouf is jacked. [00:28:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:34] Speaker A: And there's just a. [00:28:35] Speaker B: There's a lot of emotions, so there's a lot of meaning there. [00:28:38] Speaker A: You know what, bro? I don't. I can't win with this guy. I can't win. [00:28:42] Speaker B: No, it is a good video. It is a great song. It was a big hit. [00:28:47] Speaker A: It was big hit. [00:28:48] Speaker B: Everyone liked Shia LaBeouf until he gave. [00:28:50] Speaker A: Beat the. [00:28:52] Speaker B: I think. [00:28:53] Speaker A: I think he beat up his girlfriend. This was his thing. [00:28:55] Speaker B: But you can get away with that. You can't get away with her. [00:28:58] Speaker A: Look at Chris Brown. [00:28:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:59] Speaker A: He got away with that. [00:29:00] Speaker B: I don't think there's any Chris Brown. Herpes. [00:29:03] Speaker A: No, not herpes. I mean, like, he beat the. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Out of Rihanna, but there was, like, a rumor about Shia LaBeouf giving herpes. Herpes. Yeah. To a singer. [00:29:11] Speaker A: God damn. [00:29:12] Speaker B: And then the same thing happened to Usher. [00:29:14] Speaker A: Before Usher. I heard about. [00:29:15] Speaker B: I didn't hear Downfall. [00:29:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:16] Speaker B: Usher was funny. I don't remember the specific. This is all alleged. [00:29:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:21] Speaker B: So we don't get sued by Usher. [00:29:22] Speaker A: If anyone comes here thinking these are facts, you're an idiot. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Also, we have no money. You can't get blood from a stone. [00:29:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:29] Speaker B: So there you go. It was. This was a few years ago. This was back when they sell it entertainment blogs. And this, like, really fat woman said that she slept with Usher. And he was like, oh, I would never know if that big, fat black. [00:29:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:29:44] Speaker B: He was like, I would never. That's disgusting. And she said she got herpes from it. He's like, I would never. That's freaking disgusting. She's not my type. Whatever. [00:29:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Then, like, the hotel employment employee was so incensed. [00:29:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:59] Speaker B: That he backed up the fat lady. He was like, no. I saw them check again. And they definitely room together. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Did he ever come clean? [00:30:07] Speaker B: Neither one of them came clean after that. They just came up dirty. [00:30:12] Speaker A: That's funny, though. I mean, I. I would have probably been like. I would never. That girl. [00:30:16] Speaker B: Yeah. That's what he did. [00:30:17] Speaker A: That's great. [00:30:18] Speaker B: But we live in hell. [00:30:21] Speaker A: We don't live in hell. [00:30:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:22] Speaker A: You, Adam, you gotta look at the world through a different lens. [00:30:26] Speaker B: Well, it's not that. It's. I. There's just. It's bothers me that there are eyes everywhere all of the time. Not that Usher should have gotten away with it, but the fact that everyone knows it is bothersome. [00:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, do this camera on every fucking corner. It's. It's. There's just every. You're never. Privacy is not a thing anymore. [00:30:43] Speaker B: It doesn't exist anymore. [00:30:44] Speaker A: No. [00:30:45] Speaker B: And there's. You don't also. You don't have an expectation of it. [00:30:48] Speaker A: No. At this point. No. We, we. We do it ourselves. We have put ourselves out there. We put our information. I do it even though I love my privacy. I also give away so much information about me because I'm a fucking idiot. [00:31:00] Speaker B: But I mean, it's obviously to market things to us normally, but I remember there was one time I was in the shower at my gym and there was a giant poster for Irish Spring. [00:31:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:31:13] Speaker B: In the shower. And that's what I mean about privacy. Like, that's not. They're not watching me. [00:31:19] Speaker C: Okay. [00:31:19] Speaker B: But this is my five minutes that I have to myself at a place that I pay to be. And you can't leave me the alone. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Because there's an advertisement. [00:31:29] Speaker B: Because there's an advertisement. [00:31:30] Speaker A: But I mean, what do you. I mean, the shampoo bottles have, have. [00:31:34] Speaker B: They didn't have Irish Spring in the body wash thing. [00:31:38] Speaker A: What? [00:31:38] Speaker B: That's how they could have sold it to me surreptitiously and I could have been like, this smells good. Maybe I should figure out where this comes from. [00:31:45] Speaker A: What gym do you go at? [00:31:46] Speaker B: This was New York Sports Club. Now I go to Crunch. [00:31:48] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, Crunch is nice. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't. I really only go in the winter because I like to run during the side. During the summertime. I do not like the gym. I've seen roaches there. I've gotten ringworm at the gym. Ringworms come and people are disgusting. Horror shows. [00:32:03] Speaker A: But you also, I mean, if that's in their place, like, what are you supposed to do about that? You know? [00:32:07] Speaker B: But I'm paying to be there. [00:32:09] Speaker A: I know. [00:32:09] Speaker B: And it's a shower. [00:32:11] Speaker A: Why don't you tell them then? [00:32:13] Speaker B: No. [00:32:13] Speaker A: What do you mean, no? [00:32:14] Speaker B: They should know. [00:32:15] Speaker A: But why the is there an advertisement in the shower? [00:32:17] Speaker B: Because they probably get an extra $10 a month or what have you from the company to put it up there. [00:32:22] Speaker A: It's a good point. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, you could. You could get like a pretty good deal on a car if you let them put like Coca Cola on the side. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Or Mary Kay. You've seen those, the Cadillacs. [00:32:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Well, Mary Kay, those. You. You win, I think. [00:32:35] Speaker C: Is it. [00:32:36] Speaker B: You win them. Yeah. It's like. It's definitely a pyramid scheme a little bit. You. You're selling nice car, though. It is a nice car. But you have to sell a lot of lipstick. I mean, you got to Escalade. [00:32:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:46] Speaker A: I mean, that's pretty. Yeah, you do. That's. That's a lot of tubes of lipstick. [00:32:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:49] Speaker A: And 100,000 tubes. [00:32:51] Speaker B: I was trying to do this as a bit. It really. It's not going to work for an audience. It only works at open mics. But I do feel like comedy is a little bit of a pyramid scheme. What do you. Sometimes when we're first starting. [00:33:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Like everyone, all these producers are trying to get us to bring people to the room because nobody's going to come see a room full of nobodies. The producer is only doing it most of the time to get themselves up there and do. Or make money. Yeah, but I produce a show. Trust me. [00:33:18] Speaker A: I don't make money on my show. I lose money. [00:33:21] Speaker B: You don't make a lot of money with these nobodies. And they like. It's. The club is just trying to sell alcohol. [00:33:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:29] Speaker B: We get nothing. [00:33:31] Speaker A: Nothing. [00:33:31] Speaker B: It's. It's very rare that I'm paid what I'm bringing to the table. Like, I did one show. I brought 25 people because it was my first show and I was so excited about it. [00:33:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:42] Speaker B: I brought 25 people to do a show at Gotham and I asked for a glass of champagne and they said, that'll be $12. [00:33:48] Speaker A: Oh, for Andy Angle. [00:33:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:51] Speaker B: No names. [00:33:52] Speaker A: Ah, him. [00:33:53] Speaker B: I said it sucks. But I had to pay for my champagne when I brought it, like probably five grand to the door for a glass from like a ten dollar bottle. [00:34:06] Speaker A: You're right. It is a pyramid scheme. When you first start, that is. You're gonna. You know what you're. You know what your reward is? You're gonna perform at Gotham. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:14] Speaker A: That's amazing. [00:34:14] Speaker B: That's it. And you're gonna get a great tape. Look at that one's. Gonna be so excited to see you. [00:34:19] Speaker A: You're gonna get a great tape of your first show, which is gonna suck. You suck at your first show. Not you. [00:34:26] Speaker B: I'm not saying I was really good. I sucked at mine Was amazing. I actually, if I was bad, I think I probably would have quit because it was a class show. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Okay, that's a good point. [00:34:37] Speaker B: It was me getting my feet wet. [00:34:39] Speaker A: What I mean is, is that now. [00:34:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Way better. [00:34:42] Speaker A: You're so much better. [00:34:43] Speaker B: So much better. [00:34:43] Speaker A: Years. And you wouldn't use that tape that you have never. No, the. [00:34:47] Speaker B: The material was all right. [00:34:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Because I definitely. I worked on that five minutes for two months. [00:34:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:53] Speaker B: With like a coach. [00:34:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Going through it with a fine tooth comb. But I definitely. My demeanor, how comfortable I am on stage, different how I carry myself. I was doing, like. I didn't know what to do with my hands for a long time. I don't have, like a performance background at all. It was just. I had to start doing it. [00:35:15] Speaker A: That's. That's a lot of. A lot of people. I know that that's the hardest part for a lot of people. Like, the writing. Like, you're a great writer and Joe's a great writer and there are other people that are fantastic writers, but they. They get. Being on stage was the. The most. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Mind boggling experience. [00:35:33] Speaker B: Well, so, I mean, I think I'm trying to find my voice still, but I know in the beginning I was trying to be like a Mitch Hedberg. [00:35:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:41] Speaker B: I tried to be very monotone and nobody was feeling that at all. [00:35:45] Speaker A: I can't imagine you doing that. I can't imagine you. You are. [00:35:48] Speaker B: Neither could anyone else. [00:35:51] Speaker A: They hate you. [00:35:52] Speaker B: When I first started and then I did, I was my first open mic and I like the class that I was taking, everyone was laughing at my stuff. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna do great at this first open mic. I'm gonna be so funny. I have all these jokes that I bomb. There was one guy that was rooting for me and laughing, so I didn't completely bomb. Yeah, there was one guy that was like, there's something here. [00:36:14] Speaker A: I. I see you. What you're saying. [00:36:16] Speaker B: The rest was just. It was at the stand. The rest of the people were just staring at me. Luckily, I went by myself. [00:36:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:21] Speaker B: But the second one I killed. I did. I did kind of out. And I was just like, hey, guys, I'm like, having a little bit of a panic attack here. So just like, that's. [00:36:32] Speaker A: No, but that's. That's. Sometimes when you say it and put it out there, it puts them at ease and they go, okay. Otherwise they think you're weirdo. Like, what's happening right now? [00:36:40] Speaker B: There's that and like, it's like a shark. Like, they don't know we're more scared of them than they are of us. [00:36:46] Speaker A: I think that's. Honestly, that's a really good point. Like, you know, they. No one wants you to go up there and fail. They paid money. They want to have fun. They want you to be good. [00:36:55] Speaker B: They did not come to be miserable. [00:36:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:58] Speaker A: 99 of the time. There's. There's always that 1% where you're like, okay. These people are like, I. I'm genuinely doing well. And they just don't want to hear this. [00:37:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Or like I said, the different realities. Like, I. I thought I had a great Luigi man Joan joke. [00:37:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:16] Speaker A: What was it doing that? [00:37:18] Speaker B: Well, it's. There's a few tags, but basically the precipice of it is that everyone thinks he's hot because he killed the CEO. Like, outside of this murder, he is just like, a regular short guy. [00:37:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:36] Speaker B: Like, everyone's so horny for him because he killed this guy. It's not because, like, he's an okay looking guy. [00:37:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:44] Speaker B: But he's not George Clooney. [00:37:46] Speaker A: No, he's not. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Everyone needs to get a grip. So that was really the joke. But, like, I start the joke by being like, does anyone like Luigi Manjon? And it's like a misdirection because I get people excited. [00:37:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:56] Speaker B: And then I get to be like, he's just this short guy with a bad back. Like, I just, like, go in on him. But, like, I don't really feel one way or the other. It's just, like, observational humor. But I. I did the joke for all these old people and I was like, does anyone, like, Luigi badgered here? It was just like, you could hear a pin drop. And one person in the back was like, murderer. Okay, we're gonna. We're gonna switch to the next joke or. [00:38:24] Speaker A: They would have loved it. Like, yeah, he sucks. [00:38:26] Speaker B: They would have liked it if I finished it. But I didn't know. And I got a little nervous and I was just like, okay, I'm scared we'll do something else. [00:38:33] Speaker A: Dude. I. That's when I get real excited when I hear that no one likes it. [00:38:37] Speaker B: I'm like, yeah, no. [00:38:38] Speaker A: Oh, we're. Now we're cooking with fire. [00:38:40] Speaker B: It was. It was like the festival. It was like the. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Oh, okay. So you wanted to. You wanted to. [00:38:45] Speaker B: Really wanted to be liked. But I also really want to be liked in general. [00:38:53] Speaker A: I wish I could have seen it. This. You're going, oh. [00:39:00] Speaker B: Oh, It's. It's really something. I. That's another thing. I keep switching the topic, but that's okay. I do feel like we're really trying to find our voice eventually. [00:39:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:12] Speaker B: And be the most authentically ourselves on stage, where it does feel like we're just having a conversation. Yeah. And we don't have these things written beforehand. And these are just, like, off the cuff, us being funny, having a conversation, connecting with the audience. But I'm so worried that I will finally be authentically myself and nobody will like it. I will Just end up being like, I. I worked so hard to get to this point. Yeah. To finally be seen naked in front of you, and you hate it. [00:39:49] Speaker A: You really. That you have. That's a major fear of yours. [00:39:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:53] Speaker A: Can I tell you something? [00:39:55] Speaker B: You want to see me naked? [00:39:56] Speaker A: I'm. I don't want you. [00:39:58] Speaker B: I'm gonna make you. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Okay. You. I understand it. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker A: And you couldn't be more wrong that you are, as far as I know you, which you're yourself. Anytime I've seen you, I've never seen you act any different. You've always come off just genuine, authentic. And you'd have to be out of your mind to think that people wouldn't like it. [00:40:19] Speaker B: Okay. For you. [00:40:19] Speaker A: It's the truth. Like, I. I would if I thought you. Well, you wouldn't be here if I didn't like it. [00:40:24] Speaker B: That'd be. [00:40:24] Speaker A: First of all, I wouldn't have you in my house. [00:40:25] Speaker B: But you see me in my professional. I mean, there's nothing professional about. [00:40:29] Speaker A: There's no. I don't see a difference, though. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:40:31] Speaker A: I don't see a performance. I see you, and I am thoroughly entertained every single time. [00:40:38] Speaker B: Thank God. And somebody should be. [00:40:39] Speaker A: You should seriously let. Let it go, dude, because. And if they don't like it, you're not for everybody. [00:40:46] Speaker B: That's fair. But I want to be for everybody. [00:40:49] Speaker A: No, it's not possible. You'll never get there, dude. [00:40:51] Speaker B: I want everybody in the world to like me. Me. [00:40:54] Speaker A: And if they don't, they may like you on one side. I have. I think that most comics feel that way, and I don't think it's possible. It's. I. I am very much. When I was younger, I wanted to be liked a lot, and I. I don't know what happened, but I realized I'm just not everyone's cup of tea. [00:41:15] Speaker B: No, you're not. You can't be. I can't, because some people are terrible. And I don't. Sometimes, like, I get nervous about the certain type of people that like me. I'm like, what does it say about me that you are enjoying me? [00:41:27] Speaker A: That's another thing. [00:41:28] Speaker B: Like, I was when Charlie. The day that Charlie Kirk got shot, I had to go to an open mic. Obviously, there was a lot of people there. [00:41:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:35] Speaker B: Every comic was like, how can I make this about me? Like, immediately? And so I was sitting next. Next to this guy at the bar, and he was like, yeah, I got nine text messages today. And I was like, I didn't get any text messages. Why are you Getting not. How close were you with Charlie Kirk? Were you guys friends? Did you guys go to high school together? What? I got text message. [00:41:54] Speaker A: I got a lot of text, too, but it was. It was. It was people sending me the video. [00:41:59] Speaker B: Okay? [00:41:59] Speaker A: It was people. Not people going like, are you okay? [00:42:02] Speaker B: I didn't know who he was sexy. Like, I'm so hard right now, dude. [00:42:06] Speaker A: I opened the video up, I got multiple people sent it to me, and then I sent it to my dad. I was like, you gotta see this. [00:42:12] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:42:13] Speaker A: And. And my dad was like, what? [00:42:14] Speaker B: I don't know. I wonder if my dad watched it. My dad used to go on, like, oh, grish. Back in the day. I think he had watched those hunters getting eaten by lions. [00:42:23] Speaker A: You know, that's a funny thing. That's an interesting, crazy. We watch. I watch those videos. I. I follow an account. Nature is metal. [00:42:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:42:30] Speaker A: It's great. I mean, it's. [00:42:32] Speaker B: That's been on the Internet for a long time. [00:42:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:34] Speaker B: There was a whole bunch of websites. Do you remember? I think. Oh, you weren't at my mic the other day. I started talking about one man, one jar. Do you remember? [00:42:44] Speaker A: With the pickle jar he shoved up his ass. Yes. I thought that was fucking hysteric. It was. When it popped, I went, oh. [00:42:51] Speaker B: Oh, he doesn't scream. [00:42:53] Speaker A: Which is. [00:42:54] Speaker B: That's the most harrowing part of it that he didn't is that he's completely silent. So I told that story on stage that I was like. And he didn't scream, and I was like. So what I'm trying to say is, men used to be bad. [00:43:08] Speaker C: That's good. [00:43:10] Speaker A: Oh, how come I haven't heard that? [00:43:12] Speaker B: It's like, just last week. [00:43:13] Speaker A: Oh, it's brand new. Oh, dude. [00:43:16] Speaker B: Are you. [00:43:16] Speaker A: You're gonna do the. The mic at three or no? [00:43:18] Speaker B: Maybe I'll do it. [00:43:19] Speaker A: Oh, please. [00:43:20] Speaker B: On the way I'll decide to do that is. So I have a few points that I'm working on. There's another. There's another one that I. I just, like, tested the temperature with it, and I think I have something where I was like, the only way that Donald Trump can possibly redeem himself now because he's, like, pissed off a lot of people in his own base at this point. [00:43:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:40] Speaker B: Is if he was just, like, Just kidding, guys. That was a fascism drill, and we're cool. And now I'm gonna teach you how to not slip into fascism. Like, if he was just like, jk, guys, Just kidding. Go back to normal. And then they would give him the Nobel Peace Prize. They'd be like, he showed the world. [00:44:01] Speaker A: I mean, what's not to do? That's a. I like the premise. I like the premise. [00:44:06] Speaker B: There's something. [00:44:06] Speaker A: There's something. [00:44:07] Speaker B: It is fucking terrifying. [00:44:09] Speaker A: I mean, as soon as. [00:44:11] Speaker B: I'm only going to talk about Charlie Kirk the rest of the day, but as soon as he got shot, they were on the news saying, this is war. And the Democrats did this. And the Democrats own this. And I was like, you do not have a suspect. You don't know who did this. [00:44:28] Speaker A: I agree. That's not right. Now, here's my thing. Here's my thing. And this is me going, I'm in the middle on everything. [00:44:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:37] Speaker A: The Republicans. When he. When Charlie Kirk got shot, I didn't. I didn't know him, who he was. This wasn't a president, okay. To me, the Republicans were making him seem like Jesus Christ. [00:44:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:51] Speaker A: And that part was like, I don't even. What's going on with this guy. Who the fuck is he? He. Was he a bad guy? I don't think so. Was he a good guy? I don't know. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Bad enough to deserve to get shot? [00:45:01] Speaker A: I agree. I agree. He was speaking his mind, and you're allowed to do that in this country. [00:45:05] Speaker B: But he was not good enough for me to be worshiped over him. [00:45:09] Speaker A: That's the other thing. And then you have the Democrats who were going, fuck. Well, that's what happens with guns. I was like, well, a guy did get shot and we all saw it. [00:45:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Like, let's maybe tone that down. Like, just for today. Like, why do we have to go into our camps? Let's just go. We all watch someone get murdered. This is fucking nuts. [00:45:27] Speaker B: And it's just. [00:45:28] Speaker A: Here's. Here's an argument I'm gonna make that's really, really. No one's gonna like this. When George Floyd was killed, the Republicans didn't give a shit. No, they didn't care. Oh, yeah, Sorry about that, by the way. How much time do we got? 45. The Republicans did not give a shit. It was horrible. I thought that Derek Chauvin, whatever the officer's name was, should have gone to jail, I think killed. I don't give a fuck what they did with him. He was a piece of shit. I don't think there should be statues of George Floyd. I don't know who the fuck this guy is that he ended up. There's. There's no. There's nothing there. You know what I'm saying? I don't Think there should be statues of Charlie Kirk. You know, I'm saying, like, I just think that we glorify whatever side we think. [00:46:17] Speaker B: I'm not gone mad. [00:46:18] Speaker A: He's gone mad. Both sides are insane. [00:46:21] Speaker B: People think they need to pick something. [00:46:23] Speaker A: Yeah. This is a hero. It's like, I don't know if Charlie Kirk was a hero. I don't know if George Floyd was a hero. I think we're all just glamorizing whatever side works best for us. You know what I mean? The person on that, for sure. [00:46:36] Speaker B: But I do find that they are seeing a version of reality that we are not seeing. I guess, where, like, the people who were glorifying Charlie Kirk, there are people who see it being him being glorified in the news. [00:46:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Because they're only seeing the whitewashed version of who he was when he was alive. [00:46:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:58] Speaker B: And they're like, oh, that's so terrible. He had two kids. He had a wife, which does suck. John Wayne Gacy had two kids and a wife. [00:47:05] Speaker A: Oh, wait, that's it. [00:47:06] Speaker B: That's a. I'm just saying. I'm not saying he's John Wayne Gacy, but like, him having two kids and a wife is not who he was. [00:47:16] Speaker A: I don't know who part of him. [00:47:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:47:18] Speaker A: That's the other. [00:47:19] Speaker B: I obviously feel terrible for them. [00:47:21] Speaker A: Yeah, it sucks for them. [00:47:22] Speaker B: It really terrible for them. [00:47:23] Speaker A: And, and, and, and like, I'm on. [00:47:25] Speaker B: A reiterate, but it's a nuance. There's no new. [00:47:28] Speaker A: There's always that. [00:47:29] Speaker B: There's. You pick one side, you pick the other, and everyone digs their heels in and there's nobody, like, trying to compromise. [00:47:38] Speaker A: That's the thing, dude. That's why I like hanging out with comics. At least the normal ones, or halfway normal, where you go. You're just. They're normal to me because they're. They're boring. I know, but when my version of normal is actually really exciting. [00:47:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:51] Speaker A: It's the normal that you go. You look at this side and you go, let me look at it from that angle. Let me look at it from this angle. And you're like, okay, I could see that. And I could see that, but you just got to keep flip flopping. And people think if you're flip flopping, you're not. You have no stance on this. It's like, actually, no, I have the most. [00:48:11] Speaker B: No, it actually, it's disconcerting when they're so aligned with one political party that they do not have their own opinion on anything ever. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Charlie Kirk was against, I think, gay marriage. Right. [00:48:24] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. [00:48:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:25] Speaker A: I'm not. He also said in a, in an interview that he thinks that women should never have to pay for a dinner on a date. I totally agree with that. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:34] Speaker A: You know, it's what I'm saying. Like, I don't. I don't agree with one thing. I agree with the other. I agree with this. It's like, how the fuck. I know. [00:48:41] Speaker B: They're two different issues, but he said the women shouldn't have to pay for dinner on a date. [00:48:45] Speaker A: Yeah. He goes, I think you're a beta. If you're a man and you're like, it's just my opinion. [00:48:49] Speaker B: I think that nobody's going out to dinner with him. Him paying. [00:48:55] Speaker A: I'm just saying. I'm just saying. [00:48:57] Speaker B: And it's definitely true. And it's. I don't. The thing about me is that I am gay. [00:49:03] Speaker A: I know what his opinion. You're. He came out on this podcast. Holy. [00:49:07] Speaker B: Just so everyone knows. So my opinion on who pays for dinner has nothing to do with anything. And I don't have a dog in the fight. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:14] Speaker A: I know. [00:49:15] Speaker B: And I don't care about that. [00:49:16] Speaker A: I know. But I'm just making. [00:49:18] Speaker B: I do. I do just feel like he wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire 100%. And so when I feel like there's a big push for me to care either way. [00:49:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:32] Speaker B: And maybe it's just my own internal pressure of just, like, I am a comedian, I do feel like I need to comment on things that are happening around me. And I was, like, workshopping jokes right away. [00:49:41] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:49:43] Speaker B: But I did feel like even lay people that are not in entertainment were, like, writing their deepest sympathies and changing their profile pictures to Charlie Kirk. And I'm like, you. You did not know this person. [00:49:59] Speaker A: That's. [00:49:59] Speaker B: And he does not care about you. [00:50:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:02] Speaker B: And you look like a weirdo. [00:50:05] Speaker A: It's odd. It was odd. [00:50:06] Speaker C: It. [00:50:06] Speaker A: It got very. I, I, I don't. The. I don't know. People were getting very incestual about it. Maybe. Is that a good word for it? [00:50:17] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:50:18] Speaker A: But you, you know, it might get you more clicks. [00:50:20] Speaker B: That's a good word. People like that. [00:50:22] Speaker A: I just think that it's. When I saw it, I saw a guy. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Tribal. [00:50:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:27] Speaker B: It's. They're different. You're in a tribe, and you have to do everything the tribe does. [00:50:31] Speaker A: That's the thing. [00:50:32] Speaker B: But I. But I do also feel like when people die, there is an Instinct to sanitize who they were in their life. [00:50:41] Speaker A: Here's the thing. I. That's the back to the other. I. I don't know who the this guy is. Some people say it's good. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Some people just like, let's remove politics from it all together. When Paul Walker died from the Fast and the Furious. Oh, that was tragic, right? It was tragic. [00:50:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:56] Speaker B: Okay. Was he the next coming of Sidney Poitier? No. Everyone was talking about him like he was Meryl Streep. [00:51:07] Speaker A: He seemed like a nice guy. [00:51:09] Speaker B: Perfectly. I'm sure he was a perfectly nice man. [00:51:12] Speaker A: You know what it was? He was really beautiful. [00:51:14] Speaker B: He was handsome. [00:51:14] Speaker A: He was super. [00:51:15] Speaker B: The handsome man. [00:51:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:17] Speaker B: He crashed his Porsche. He wasn't a great driver. [00:51:20] Speaker A: I don't know. I guess not. I guess he wasn't. He drove like a woman, dude. [00:51:27] Speaker B: He was that a great driver. And so like that's what I mean. Or it's just like somebody died. There's. Funerals are not for the dead. They're for the living. [00:51:36] Speaker A: They are. [00:51:36] Speaker B: You don't have to pretend somebody was somebody they weren't. [00:51:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:40] Speaker B: Just this is who they were. If you want to care about it, great. If you don't care about it, great. It's very weird that when somebody dies, there is an instinct to create a reality about this person that wasn't who they were when they were living. [00:51:58] Speaker A: It's the. Bet you. You use a really great example with a movie star because we all feel. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Like there's a lot of movie stars. [00:52:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:04] Speaker B: Whenever they die. Just like third rate D list movie stars that like could not get arrested if they wanted to. As soon as they die, people are like, this was my favorite actress in the whole world. And she was like an extra on Order woman. Yeah. It's like this was the best actress to have ever lived. I'm like, well, you didn't support her. [00:52:23] Speaker A: When she was so that's like Van Go, dude. Van Gogh was. No one gave a about Van Go until he died. [00:52:29] Speaker B: Yeah, well, that's a lot. There's also just a lot of artwork. That sucks. [00:52:33] Speaker A: But he's good. Van Gogh. You did? [00:52:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I was a fine arts minor in college. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Oh, okay. What college? [00:52:40] Speaker B: I went to Ualbany. I didn't go to art school. [00:52:42] Speaker A: No. But still. Okay, you went away job. You know what? I didn't either. I was. I was a theater major. [00:52:47] Speaker B: So yeah. Albany was a good school. [00:52:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:49] Speaker A: But by the way, what times. What time do you have? [00:52:51] Speaker B: This is wrong. Me, I wear my watch just for looks. [00:52:54] Speaker A: Oh, we got time. All right. We got another 10, 15 minutes. [00:52:57] Speaker B: So I felt it was very interesting. We would have these critiques where the class would stand around your artwork, and they would tell you how they feel about it. Okay. [00:53:08] Speaker A: So it's like an open mic. [00:53:09] Speaker B: It's like an open mic, really? But you spent, like, months. I mean. Yes, and then they. On it. But so I. I realized really quickly that it didn't matter what I was actually making. [00:53:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:23] Speaker B: It mattered how I could sell it. [00:53:25] Speaker C: Okay. [00:53:25] Speaker B: If I had one project, this is what opened my minds. I had one project that I straight up did not do the day of. I just took everything off my coffee table. I put it in a bag. I arranged it ever. So in the classroom, I made up some BS story about it, and I got a B plus, and I literally did no work on it. And I was like, oh, I want. [00:53:45] Speaker A: To do this for the rest of my life. [00:53:47] Speaker B: This is completely meaningless. This is just spin. And so the second experience I had where I had a boyfriend and in an advanced sculpture class, and he dumped me during an episode of Roseanne right before Christmas break. I'm so sorry. Right before our final critique. Bradford, if you're watching you. [00:54:15] Speaker A: Bradford. [00:54:16] Speaker B: Bradford. And so I remember he told me he was just making stuff for his apartment. He wasn't making art. He was making, like, light fixtures. [00:54:27] Speaker A: Genius. [00:54:27] Speaker B: It was a great idea. [00:54:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:54:29] Speaker B: But I was like, you know what, Bradford? I. So I went up, and I was like, maybe it's just because you're a bartender at a gay bar, but this just looks like a wooden disco ball to me. Like, it just looks like a light fixture. It doesn't actually look like a piece of art. And it was like they smelled blood in the water. And all the guys that were saying really nice things about his artwork before I started talking, they all changed like that, and they all started shitting on him. And I was like, I have power. [00:55:00] Speaker A: This is after you broke up? [00:55:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it was after we broke up. That was not the precipice. The precipice was. He sucks. I don't know. [00:55:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:08] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:55:09] Speaker A: That's. How long were you together? [00:55:11] Speaker B: Not very long. It was just a few months. We actually. It's a really weird relationship. We never had sex because he said he was a Christian, and I don't know why I went along with it. It was only a few months. [00:55:22] Speaker A: He's a Christian, but he's gay. [00:55:23] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:55:24] Speaker A: That makes no sense. [00:55:25] Speaker B: So I. We just, like, made out for a few months. That's kind of all the time. [00:55:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:30] Speaker B: But yeah, I'm glad that we probably still wouldn't have had sex like 10 years later, we were still together. [00:55:38] Speaker A: Have you seen him like on Facebook or anything or. [00:55:40] Speaker B: I seen him in New York. He moved to New York and now he's like a muscle guy and he's probably having a lot of disgusting sex. [00:55:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:50] Speaker B: Like back alley somewhere. He definitely hates himself because he didn't love himself enough to stay with me. So I really hope he's not watching. [00:56:02] Speaker C: He's not. [00:56:03] Speaker B: He's not gonna be watching what you say, Bradford. [00:56:10] Speaker A: Oh, so were you. Can I. And this is. Forgive me if I'm being like ignorant. [00:56:16] Speaker B: Whatever you want. I already knew you were ignorant before. [00:56:21] Speaker A: But like as a gay man, were you like, did you have a phase where you just went fucking crazy? Like I just fucking everybody. I know a lot of gay dudes who still do it. [00:56:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Because it's culturally accepted. [00:56:33] Speaker C: Yes. [00:56:34] Speaker B: You actually feel weird if you're not. [00:56:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:37] Speaker B: And it's like ordering a pizza. It's. [00:56:42] Speaker A: You want eight slices. [00:56:43] Speaker B: So easy. [00:56:44] Speaker A: Oh, it's that easy as we mean. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Yeah. I want eight inches exactly. No, it is, it is so easy. I mean, you have to be reasonably attractive. Brush your teeth and clean your room. [00:56:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:55] Speaker B: You have to do all those things. But you could meet somebody in a public toilet somewhere and crazy. Get your rocks off. Literally in the middle of the work day. [00:57:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:06] Speaker B: If you have time for a coffee break, you can meet a stranger. Like Eli was saying that to me the other day. He was like, I was like working from home and I was exhausting. I was like, it would be really great if somebody was sucking my dick right now. And I was like, I can make that happen. Will not be a woman. Like it is so easy. And so it did bother me because I do feel like I'm more of a heteronormative. [00:57:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Old fashioned person. [00:57:31] Speaker A: You come off that way. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And it is difficult to make connections with people. [00:57:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:37] Speaker B: Because there's an expectation that I'm not going to be monogamous from the get. It's not like with straight couples, it's the outlier for you to be non monogamous. [00:57:48] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:57:49] Speaker B: With gay couples it's the outlier to be monogamous. And so I'm already only working from 10 of the male population When I'm picking somebody that's a good one. Most of them are not monogamous. Then of that half, the other half is on crystal meth. So it's not great. [00:58:09] Speaker A: That's a good point. [00:58:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:11] Speaker A: I mean, the gay community loves drugs. [00:58:13] Speaker B: They love drugs. Well, because. [00:58:14] Speaker A: And they get the best. [00:58:15] Speaker B: They've been rejected most of their lives by most of the people in their lives. So, like, need a little thing that never says no. [00:58:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree. I mean, I agree with that, dude. I'm a big fan of, of drugs. [00:58:28] Speaker B: But I, I was at a party, somebody offered me a review, a recreate people, gay men recreationally roofy themselves. [00:58:37] Speaker A: I, I, I. [00:58:39] Speaker B: You do it. [00:58:39] Speaker A: I've done it. [00:58:40] Speaker B: You've done at a gay party? [00:58:41] Speaker C: Yep. [00:58:42] Speaker A: I used to work in la. I used to do task. [00:58:45] Speaker B: Roofied himself at a gay party. [00:58:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:47] Speaker B: We're revisiting this when the cameras turn off this. [00:58:49] Speaker A: I used to work. This gay couple found me. I was doing like, bar back. [00:58:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:54] Speaker A: And they're like, hey, we're having a pride party. Do you mind working, you know, just cleaning it up, Drinks and shit. And I was like, yeah, I need the money. And they were like, can you wear this? It was like a rainbow tank top. I was like, I don't give a fuck, I'll wear it. [00:59:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:05] Speaker A: I show up to the party and I couldn't believe my eyes, dude. It was gay palooza. Like, it was just cocks every, like, I, I couldn't believe it. Like, this was, I'm like, and I'm not phobic in any way. I was just couldn't. I was like, this is interesting. And I'm watching everybody. And eventually in the, in la, I became known as the straight guy who will work the gay parties. [00:59:28] Speaker B: There's a lot of them, dude. [00:59:29] Speaker A: They, I, my number went around like, great money. I made really good money and they were really cool. And they weren't like, make sure this is that. They were like, yeah, just like, have fun. Like, you know, just see, I needs ice. Whatever my cool. And at one of the parties specifically, I, I had heard. First time I did ketamine was with the guy who hired me at my first job. He's like, you want to do something? Literally, we did it. It was. The whole party ended. And he said, you want to do some ketamine? And I'm like, I never done it. Yeah, so we did that. And then at one party, this dude goes, you want some G? And I go, the fuck is G? And they go, well, it's, it's the roofie drug. I'm like, but you measure it out just enough where you feel, you feel like you're drunk. He goes, did you have. And they were really nice and I'm like, I don't know if I want to roofie myself. They go, did you drink anything? I said, no, I didn't have a drink. Alright. He goes, I'll give you half a dose. And I've met this guy before. So I was like, all right, I hope this. I'm not making a horrible decision here. And I took half. [01:00:22] Speaker B: And if I had known it was this easy. [01:00:24] Speaker A: It was that easy. I mean, I love drugs. And I was like, I want to try this. And I felt I was drunk, dude. Like a full drunk for one hour and snapped out of it. [01:00:33] Speaker B: Yeah. And you don't have a hangover. [01:00:34] Speaker A: No. [01:00:35] Speaker B: You don't get fat. [01:00:36] Speaker A: And that's what they were telling me. And I'm like, this is brilliant. [01:00:38] Speaker B: They all have body dysmorphia, dude. [01:00:40] Speaker A: And. And I did roofies with a bunch of gay men. And so I get it. It's fun. It's fun time. [01:00:46] Speaker B: Fun time, dude, you are too trustworthy. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Actually, I know. I have a problem with. [01:00:52] Speaker B: I don't even trust gay men that much. [01:00:54] Speaker A: I know. [01:00:55] Speaker B: That is. [01:00:55] Speaker A: I know, dude. [01:00:56] Speaker B: No, I remember somebody offered me it and I was just like, why would I do that? He was just like, no, it's not like how it hits differently. And I was like, I don't need to know. Yeah, how? But thank you. Mostly, most of the time, people don't ask first, so. I appreciate you asking. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Yeah, they just. They just put it in. [01:01:16] Speaker B: But I had a friend, he was at a party and they were keeping it in like a eyedropper. [01:01:21] Speaker A: Yep. [01:01:22] Speaker B: And he didn't ask and just went like this. And he had bloodshot eyes for, like, three weeks. And he was high for the entire day because he roofied his own eyeballs. [01:01:34] Speaker A: That's horrifying. [01:01:35] Speaker B: And there's all these, like, capillaries in there. [01:01:38] Speaker A: Why would he do that? [01:01:39] Speaker B: Because he didn't know that. He was just at somebody's house and he was. [01:01:42] Speaker A: Oh, and he used their eye drop. Oh, I thought he knew. [01:01:46] Speaker B: No, he's just like a pothead. [01:01:48] Speaker A: He roofied himself in the eyeballs. Hurts my eyes thinking about, you should. [01:01:54] Speaker B: Properly label things, but also, you shouldn't take people's eyedroppers if you don't know them well either. [01:01:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I wouldn't. I. I don't use eyedrops ever. So, like, even in someone's house, I would ask them and hopefully they're roofies. I know what it is. At least a roofy. And I dropped. Yeah, it was. It was a good time. [01:02:13] Speaker B: I Had one difficult time walking home later. [01:02:16] Speaker A: My. I was. I had a girlfriend at the time, and she picked me up from the job and she just looked at me. She goes, what the fuck happened to you? I go, I had a great fucking time. She was concerned for a little bit. She's like, you keep working these gay parties. She's like, what's up? I was like, they're paying me. I'm like, I don't care. I'm like, I don't give a. [01:02:35] Speaker B: If they don't. Like, they're as long. They're super perverts. [01:02:39] Speaker A: Exactly. And they're the easiest. Dude. Gay dudes are the easiest people to work for. They don't really in. In a party setting, they're great. They're better than any. Like a woman. If you're working for a woman. [01:02:49] Speaker B: I'm a pretty easy person to work for as long as. Like, I really don't care how you. I'm not, like, particular about the way you do things. [01:02:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:55] Speaker A: Just get it. [01:02:55] Speaker B: As long as you get it done. [01:02:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:57] Speaker B: I am out of. I don't like people breathing down my neck. I'm not gonna down your neck. Do your job, Nobody complains. We don't have a problem. [01:03:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:04] Speaker A: One, two, Done. [01:03:04] Speaker B: But definitely there are predators in every industry of all different types. Definitely bar industry and restaurant industry. [01:03:14] Speaker A: I've never thought. And this is the beauty of being a man, I've never think. I never have a drink and think maybe someone roofied me. And as a woman, you got to think about that every time you're out. [01:03:25] Speaker B: I. I did this joke for a bunch of women once. I don't do it at the open mics a lot because it's usually all men, but it's that I think you had to do something really bad in your former life to be born a woman because it's so terrible and so terrifying and you're just, like, constantly running. [01:03:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:44] Speaker A: There's fear and danger on every corner every time. [01:03:48] Speaker B: Like, Piali. She's a. I know she's a. But not everyone. [01:03:52] Speaker A: Sorry. [01:03:53] Speaker B: She's a big boobied comedian and she's very funny. [01:03:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:57] Speaker B: And every time she posts a picture with me, I have, like, five Indian men in my DMs. [01:04:02] Speaker A: Like, boobies. [01:04:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, tell me about her. Where does she live? Is she really Indian? Like. Like, ask her. What? Yeah, but I can't imagine. For every five that I get, she's probably getting 30. Like, she. I posted one of me, like, jokingly motorboating her. Like, it Was not even close to her chest at all. But it's just like a simulating me doing it. [01:04:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:04:22] Speaker B: And Indian guy was in her DMs, like, oh, you let a white guy do it? And it's like, who the fuck are you? You are an Internet stranger. [01:04:31] Speaker A: That's insane. [01:04:32] Speaker B: A gay white guy and he's not even touching me. And we know each other for two years. [01:04:37] Speaker A: And the fudgeing fact that you even have to say any of that. It's her Instagram. Who the fuck cares who you are? Who the fuck are you? [01:04:43] Speaker B: There's just, there's. And whenever we do shows, whenever I do shows with my female comic friends, I'll get messages from guys that are like, that was really funny. You were really great tonight. You were in the pocket. Whatever. They get messages like, you looked great today. Or you smelled amazing. [01:04:59] Speaker A: That's so weird. Like, it's so weird. [01:05:01] Speaker B: Really? Really? And like, you were funny. [01:05:04] Speaker C: Yeah, dude. [01:05:07] Speaker A: You know, I always grew up believing that women have it harder. However, as a man now as they have it harder. [01:05:16] Speaker B: Changed. It's weird as it is now. [01:05:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I think as far as, like the money thing, I think in every other respect, women have it harder. But when it comes to the money thing, if you don't have it or you can't support someone or like, you know, it's all on you as a guy. I mean, I know women make money. They have jobs and all that, but as far as society standards go, well. [01:05:37] Speaker B: I think that the issue is that women can take care of themselves now. [01:05:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:42] Speaker B: And men can't take care of both themselves and a woman. [01:05:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:47] Speaker B: And men are still putting the pressure on themselves to be the breadwinner. [01:05:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:52] Speaker B: And it's not the reality that you're going to be the breadwinner necessarily. [01:05:56] Speaker A: Dude, I can't. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Nobody can support a two and a half kid household. It's impossible on one income. [01:06:05] Speaker A: I sit here and go, I just don't want to even be in a relationship because of that. I'm like, I don't. I'd rather. [01:06:12] Speaker B: I'm like, I can't afford to go to Chili's on Friday. [01:06:14] Speaker A: I barely can afford fucking toilet paper. And I don't want to bring someone else into this mess. Like, just, just. [01:06:21] Speaker B: You're better that paper towels was in the bathroom. No, I'm kidding. [01:06:26] Speaker A: I got toilet paper today. I have it. God damn it. You scared me for a minute. Because there was a point where it was paper towel. [01:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:33] Speaker A: But. Yeah, dude, it's a weird. It's A weird thing about, like, the. [01:06:38] Speaker B: One is the expectation and the reality. And they're. The reality is hitting people that we do not. We are not boomers. [01:06:46] Speaker A: No. [01:06:46] Speaker B: We don't live in the same reality. And they're like, you kids are so weird. And I'm like, well, look what we're putting up with. [01:06:53] Speaker A: Yeah, we're up. [01:06:55] Speaker B: Of course we're fucked up. [01:06:56] Speaker A: We're. You're millennial, right? Yeah. Yes, we're millennial. We're the weirdest generation because we remember a time where there wasn't technology. And we are. We were brought. We were raised with it. That makes sense. And we're just. We, apparently. I read an article that we are the highest consumer of any generation of alcohol. Millennials. [01:07:16] Speaker B: Oh. [01:07:17] Speaker A: Which makes sense. Makes sense. [01:07:19] Speaker B: But we also. We were raised with a lot of media that was, like, showing us how cool it was. [01:07:27] Speaker A: Yeah, we. We. We got the tail. Like, the Gen Z doesn't have that. [01:07:31] Speaker B: No. [01:07:31] Speaker A: They're getting fucked up. Is not cool for them. [01:07:33] Speaker B: No. Like, people would. Like, we were talking about with the Borat and the Austin Powers, like, he would just sing Budweiser jingles to each other. Like, the. The frogs were like, Budweiser. [01:07:44] Speaker A: Oh, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:07:46] Speaker B: And the. Like, I still do that. [01:07:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:50] Speaker B: And like, everyone would do that. And that was a beer commercial. [01:07:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:54] Speaker B: There is nothing like that now. Now they're shooting beers with guns because they're angry at it. [01:08:02] Speaker A: That was awesome. Honestly. That was fucking awesome. [01:08:05] Speaker B: Just what. What was so psychotic about that was that they made it seem like they gave this person, like, free reign of the brand. They literally sent them one can with their name printed on it, and they were like, do a video. [01:08:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:08:24] Speaker A: And then. [01:08:24] Speaker B: And they were like, they're forcing this on us. I'm gonna blow up the whole operation. [01:08:31] Speaker A: This is what happens when you drink, G. A beard. [01:08:33] Speaker B: Yeah. They went off the deep end. [01:08:38] Speaker A: It was crazy. It was crazy. I mean, that's just. Goes. Well, you saw what happened with Cracker Barrel also. They changed the logo. [01:08:44] Speaker B: It was just an objectively bad logo. [01:08:47] Speaker A: The old one, the new one. The new one sucked. [01:08:50] Speaker B: It sucks. [01:08:50] Speaker A: And I thought, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Like, these companies are trying to do. [01:08:55] Speaker B: The shitification of everything. [01:08:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:08:57] Speaker A: Like, just leave. [01:08:58] Speaker B: Like, I went to a Pizza Hut that they opened recently. I know Pizza Hut's amazing, as everyone knows. And they had the old light fixture, but the building was just, like, gray, boring. Like, looks like it's in a room at Rikers. Like, it just looks, like, really boring and square, and it's just. Everything has become boring. There's no. When you used to go to Pizza Hut, they had a red roof. They had these, like, cool red cups that were plastic and crackled, and everything was, like, dark and moody, and there was a vibe. [01:09:37] Speaker A: Even McDonald's had a vibe. [01:09:38] Speaker B: They all did. [01:09:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:09:39] Speaker B: They. You felt like you were walking into a world. [01:09:44] Speaker A: That's a really good way to put it. Now you're walking in the hill, you're walking in town. [01:09:51] Speaker B: We should have, like, a hell count. Honestly, at the bottom of this video, every time I. We live in hell, it just goes. [01:09:57] Speaker A: Ding, ding, ding, ding. I agree with that, though. These. Everything is modernized. There's no hard glass. Everything's glass. See through. I could see through everything, and that's how people are now. It's crazy, dude. [01:10:13] Speaker B: There is no personality. [01:10:15] Speaker A: Oh, we got to get going. [01:10:16] Speaker B: We got to get going. This was fun. [01:10:19] Speaker A: This was a good conversation. We didn't get too, you know, we. [01:10:22] Speaker B: Didn'T stay on one topic. [01:10:23] Speaker A: No, we had fun other than. [01:10:26] Speaker B: The hell that we live. [01:10:27] Speaker A: Yeah. We did revisit Charlie Kirk a lot more than we probably. [01:10:30] Speaker B: And Charlie. But it's a normal thing. It happened recently. [01:10:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:34] Speaker B: And you got silenced. [01:10:36] Speaker A: I did. I got silenced. Instagram. [01:10:39] Speaker C: You. [01:10:40] Speaker A: You Instagram? I'm gonna keep doing. They're gonna take my account away. I know it. Oh, but you want to give your socials. You got any shows or anything? [01:10:48] Speaker B: So my social is Adam Thomas comedy. I am doing. It's on Instagram and YouTube. I'm gonna start posting on YouTube more. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Yes. [01:10:55] Speaker B: And I also am gonna be on Comedy Fight Club October 5th, if you want to come to that. [01:11:02] Speaker A: Lucky Jacks. [01:11:03] Speaker B: And I think. I don't know when it is. Just follow my Instagram. I'm doing a show for unicef for charity, so that's really cool. [01:11:09] Speaker A: What's a charity? [01:11:11] Speaker B: Unicef. [01:11:12] Speaker A: What the. [01:11:12] Speaker B: Is that, like, feeding starving children everywhere? It's one of the ones with, like, the A plus rating. [01:11:21] Speaker A: Okay. It's actually good. They're getting the money. Okay, good. [01:11:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:23] Speaker A: So that's not like St. Jude's you know? [01:11:25] Speaker B: No, no, no, no. [01:11:27] Speaker A: I don't know what. [01:11:27] Speaker B: I'm not gonna say what I just came to my mind about St. Jude's we're not making any jokes about kids with cancer today. [01:11:35] Speaker A: I will in the car. All right, well, thanks for coming, dude. Seriously, you're. You're a gem. [01:11:41] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. [01:11:43] Speaker A: I definitely. We'll. [01:11:44] Speaker B: We'll do this again. We'll do this again. [01:11:45] Speaker A: Fucking love it. [01:11:46] Speaker B: Bye bye. [01:11:47] Speaker A: Thank you. See you later.