# 25 - David London: Life Outside the Classroom

[00:00:06] Speaker A: All right, we're back. We got David London here. David's a school teacher who dabbles in comedy. That's right. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Yes, sir. [00:00:15] Speaker A: Okay. And you. Have I got that back. And you. We met. I'll give some backstory because none of my comedy friends will know you. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Yeah, rightfully so. [00:00:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Well, yeah, but you. You haven't been doing it a whole lot. [00:00:31] Speaker B: Not a lot. No. A few. Over a year, but not that many sets. Like, I would say over a little bit more than a dozen. [00:00:37] Speaker A: Okay. So. So. All right. So you. In. In reality, a couple weeks, we'll say, damn right. [00:00:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:00:42] Speaker A: But you're a school teacher in. In Jersey. Okay. And we met at an open mic at Fierce City Comedy Club. I was doing a set and he was. He went up and I. I was. Dude, I was surprised. I was pleasantly surprised. Because you. The jokes were good, but more importantly, you. You had, like, cadence. [00:01:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Like, you. You. You were very. Seemed very natural and very normal up there. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I appreciate. You know, I was just. Because I had my buddies with me, I think, and it was a smaller room. So, you know, as I went on, I think now I've become more like, you know, mechanical, and I'm trying to go back to that Fierce City. Like, I think my best set was that day. [00:01:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Legitimately. And, you know, I was just. Maybe because I was hammered, but, like. [00:01:27] Speaker A: That could be it. That helps sometimes. [00:01:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I was, you know, it was a late night, but, you know, I did. I still watch that set all the time. I think about, like, you know, you know, it just how. The flu. But now, like, when you do Broadway. [00:01:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:01:38] Speaker B: You know, you're setting up. You have like two weeks ahead to prepare for those type of events. So I think I'm overdoing it at that point. Maybe over coaching it, but I mean. [00:01:46] Speaker A: I'm not anyone to give anyone sort of any advice. But I think the day that you were there was with all your friends, you. You felt more comfortable. Whereas now with strangers, you're like, oh, what's going to happen? [00:01:58] Speaker B: But now I'm like, stop coming to my events. Like, I don't want my friends going anymore. [00:02:01] Speaker A: You shouldn't. [00:02:02] Speaker B: Yeah, like, I do in some aspects, but, like, also, like, dude, I need to do this on my own. [00:02:08] Speaker A: You have to, otherwise you're not going to be able. You have a crutch right now. [00:02:11] Speaker B: 100%. [00:02:11] Speaker A: That's the thing. But when you. The more you do it with strangers. And the other thing is, is like, comedy is such a weird thing where you can't be half in, half out. It's either you got to do it all the time, or that's the whole thing. [00:02:23] Speaker B: It really is. I. I've felt that just like, God, I really want to go out there, but I'm like, I can't quit my job, you know? [00:02:30] Speaker A: Like, well, that's the thing. [00:02:31] Speaker B: You got to fit my. I can definitely also, like, because I'm right next to Hoboken, they. I need to get my ass up. [00:02:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:38] Speaker B: Go there on Wednesdays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and not just like, okay, I'm hitting Broadway, I'm hitting the other one in Brooklyn. In. I forgot Eastville. [00:02:48] Speaker A: Eastville, yeah. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I gotta hit Eastville. Grizzly Pairs always got stuff. I gotta just make an effort at it because I do love it. I do really enjoy it. [00:02:55] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing, dude. When you. When you get the itch, it's very hard not to scratch it after that. And Hoboken, there's a guy out there, Charlie Pearson, funny dude. He runs a show called Mad Funny Comedy. Okay. If I'm not mistaken, it's Hoboken. He has a mic, too. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Cool. Good to know, cuz I only saw River Street Garage over there. They have sets on Wednesdays. But, yeah, Hoboken's a good spot for, like, that too. Especially because of the younger crowd. [00:03:18] Speaker A: You got younger people. You got people who want to. Who want to see comedy. I mean, it's close enough to the city. I. I don't go to Jersey enough, but I just. I met Charlie at. At Kill Tony, and he was telling me about it, so I'll send you. [00:03:30] Speaker B: The information to Kill Tony. How was that? You were trying to get in, right? [00:03:33] Speaker A: I was trying. [00:03:34] Speaker B: Yeah, do that, bro. It's. [00:03:35] Speaker A: It's. It's 500 comments. It's. Well, here's the thing. In Austin, it's 200 usually sign up every week, so it's really. The odds aren't really that much different. It's just. You still gotta. [00:03:45] Speaker C: You. [00:03:45] Speaker A: You know, the only difference is you get to watch the show at Madison Square Garden. [00:03:48] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:49] Speaker A: Which is cool. But that was. It was. It was okay. I'm glad I tried. And I'm like, yo, if it happens, it happens. But, yeah, man, with. With comedy. With your friends. I. I never, ever, even when I started doing open mics, I never wanted my friends there because I knew I sucked. And I was like, I'm not gonna. You are not gonna watch us. I didn't invite friends to a show until way later. Like, I Had been doing it for six months before I invited people, and now even they see me now. And then they saw from, you know, a year later, like, yo, dude, different person, same. [00:04:21] Speaker B: So I did a lot of open mics before they went to that day. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:23] Speaker B: So, like, that was. That was a couple. And then that was just, like, spurring the moment. We're in the city, like, yo, do a set tonight. I'm like, where? I never went. I never heard of Fear City. [00:04:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:32] Speaker B: And I was just like, all right, let's do it. And then I was panicking, dude. Sweating. And my feet were sweating. Taking a taxi over there. They're like, dude, you're all right. They could just see the panic on my face. I'm like, I just don't want to suck. And again, it's five minutes, but those five minutes can last, dude. [00:04:45] Speaker A: It's at the beginning. Five minutes is so long, dude. Now I'm like, five minutes is not enough. [00:04:49] Speaker B: But I hear you. [00:04:51] Speaker A: It's. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Every time I go off the set, oh, my God. I like three more things to say. [00:04:55] Speaker A: It's always that way. You're always. It's never. You're never gonna know that. [00:04:58] Speaker B: Okay, good. [00:04:58] Speaker A: You're never gonna feel. It's. It's always. But your friends, man, were really cool. Like, like, the. I said some really terrible to them, like, crowd work. [00:05:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:05:09] Speaker A: And they were. They were so cool. And I'm like, this is. It was like a. It was a show, basically. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Yes, it was. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys, they're. They're very. They're world. Comedically not involved, but, like, we just love that. Yeah. Like, they got a sense of humor. Exactly. Especially Ben. Ben was the one. You were really black. [00:05:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:05:27] Speaker B: But he was a great dude. And, you know, they were. You know, when you have alcohol and people laughing, they're not gonna. [00:05:33] Speaker A: You know, sometimes alcohol makes people. [00:05:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:05:36] Speaker C: Crazy. Yeah. [00:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah, they do. Like, I hate those type of people, though. [00:05:41] Speaker A: Oh, those people have problems, dude. They got that they haven't dealt with. [00:05:44] Speaker B: Yeah, like. Like, I got a fist fight now. [00:05:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Dude, I hate that. If I'm not hanging out with you if that's the case. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Never. [00:05:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:05:51] Speaker B: I can't never. I have a buddy who, like, doesn't fight, but, like, he just, like, wants to make sure we can back him up. If there isn't. [00:05:58] Speaker A: If there is. [00:05:58] Speaker C: If. [00:05:59] Speaker A: Okay, that's valid, I think. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Yo, you got me on this guy. And it's like, dude, he's. It's always the smallest guy in the. [00:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah. But he. We're gonna. You're gonna kill him alone, you know. [00:06:08] Speaker B: My buddy's jacked and like huge. It's like that was glazed. But like, he's going after, like, the other kids. Look at me weird. [00:06:14] Speaker A: I'm like, I know. [00:06:15] Speaker B: I'm like, what are you doing? [00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah, he's not looking at you at all. [00:06:18] Speaker B: No, no. He doesn't know you exist. But like, he's probably scared of you. But like, it's just. He won't fight him. He just wants to make sure we got him, you know, Understood. [00:06:25] Speaker A: But that, See, that's a guy. The guy who's. And this is no offense to your friend, usually the most jacked guy is the most self conscious guy. I don't know him. [00:06:33] Speaker B: I honestly. No, he was there. He was the big Spanish guy, the one. [00:06:36] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, yeah, but I don't know him. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yeah, no, he just. I just think he does it as a bit at this point because he's done it for so long, he knows we make fun of him about it. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:43] Speaker B: So now he just keeps going along with it. [00:06:44] Speaker A: All right, well, that's funny. That's ye. But if there's always that little hint in the back of your head of like, please don't do this. [00:06:50] Speaker B: No, always, always. But also like when you, when you grow up in Jersey, you always have one cop friend. [00:06:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:57] Speaker B: So like at the end of the day, like, he's not. He's gonna make sure there's no brawls happening. [00:07:01] Speaker A: Well, that's good to have. I don't have. I have actually. I know one guy who I grew up with who's a cop, but we're not like super close. But he's, you know, I feel bad cops get such a bad rep now. [00:07:12] Speaker B: But it actually helped me with him because he is one. He's my best friend and yeah, having him around makes me, you know, have that different, different perspective on police in the way. Not that they don't have problems, of course. Absolutely. But when it comes to him and learning about the crew and learning where he's got to deal with every day, you know, it's different. It's a different perspective. [00:07:31] Speaker A: It's high intensity, dude. You're dealing with. You don't know. You're constantly dealing with strangers. You don't know what they're capable of. You don't know if they're high or if they're drunk or if they're just totally fucking insane. [00:07:40] Speaker B: 100%. [00:07:41] Speaker A: And I like, there's bad apples everywhere in comedy. There's Horrible people in. In life. You know, in different cultural groups as horrible people. [00:07:50] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:07:50] Speaker A: It's just life. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, in Jersey it's like. It's Bergen County. So like it's actually, it's again, they get paid well. [00:07:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:58] Speaker B: You know, and. But the shitty tells me every day is like. Yeah. To resuscitate this guy. Got it. You know, and then like it's just like certain aspects of different things in a day. [00:08:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:08] Speaker B: It's a 14 hour shift and you have no idea where that call is. [00:08:10] Speaker A: And you have a gun. You know, that's the crazy. [00:08:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:08:13] Speaker A: You carrying around a fucking gun. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:15] Speaker A: She. You're already like, you're jacked up. [00:08:17] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:18] Speaker A: You know, I can't imagine having a gun on me all day and then it's. Having a gun and going and minding your business all day is one thing. Having a gun and having to confront people all day, it. Yo, it's worried about getting shot. [00:08:30] Speaker B: You're right. But the pussy you get for being a cop is worth it. I think. [00:08:33] Speaker A: You think you get. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Oh my God. Really? Oh my God. Just there's certain demographics. Like the Italian. [00:08:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:08:40] Speaker B: Like my. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Like those girls love them. [00:08:43] Speaker A: Love. Okay. [00:08:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:08:44] Speaker B: And then like it's this crazy like stringy haired women really like post on Facebook about Epstein island. You know, like those girls love cops too. So like it's a tough medium, but there's, there's definitely a niche for men in uniform. Absolutely. [00:08:57] Speaker A: I think in small neighborhood. Okay. Like in New York, in this neighborhood, probably cops are like. Yeah, that's sexy. Or in Benson Hurst, like, like you said, a lot of talents. But in New York City in general, it's such a liberal place that like the women are. Most women are just like. No, that's. [00:09:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I, I, I hear you. That makes sense. But like also those, those cops fit their demographic too though. So a lot of them. It's not like they're all single, those cops. Them too. How many you guys. How many police officers do you have in New York City? [00:09:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Dudes Beyond. [00:09:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:28] Speaker B: You can their arm. It's like the seventh largest army in the country. In the world. [00:09:32] Speaker C: Yeah. It's huge. [00:09:33] Speaker A: It's gigantic. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just. [00:09:35] Speaker A: Who gets more pussy in Bergen County? Cops or firefighters? [00:09:38] Speaker B: Cops. Because a lot of. A lot of. A lot of firefighters in Bergen are volunteers. [00:09:43] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Cuz like usually it's the big cities. [00:09:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:47] Speaker B: And then the, the suburban towns like I live in, they don't really get like, they get Paid, but, like, a lot of them don't get paid. [00:09:52] Speaker A: Wow, that's crazy. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's. It's. Yeah. I would police 100%. Well, now in the country we live in, we can only be three things and make money. You can either be, you know, be a doctor. Okay, be a doctor. Or work in sales and either make a bunch of money and do a bunch of blow or just not accomplish anything, or be a cop. Basically, how you survive in the world. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Of that makes sense. [00:10:15] Speaker B: New Jersey bird. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Okay, what about lawyers? Any lawyers over there? [00:10:18] Speaker B: Yeah, we got lawyers, but, like, they're miserable. Like, I went to law school briefly. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:10:22] Speaker B: I went to. Right after I went to school, Rutgers. And then right during COVID I went straight into law school, Delaware Law. [00:10:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:10:29] Speaker B: And it was the worst experience of my entire life. [00:10:31] Speaker A: I can't imagine it, dude. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Also, it's during COVID so I didn't go to school. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Oh, so you would have been the worst fucking lawyer ever. [00:10:40] Speaker B: And also, like, everyone tells you your first year is the worst year in law school, and it's. It's only three years. And every day I went to class and I got dumber. [00:10:48] Speaker A: I. That makes sense. [00:10:50] Speaker B: There was a class I took, and I sat there in that. Fucking. Sitting at my desk like, I don't know. This. This is. You're. You're speaking Swahili to me. [00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:57] Speaker B: I have no idea what you're even talking about. And I remember just, like, the last. I'll never forget the last final I took. I was like, I'm probably falling out. Like, I think I got a 1C, which was constitutional law and everything else. I failed. [00:11:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:08] Speaker B: And I remember I looked at this. I was sitting at my desk for 16 hours. Didn't go to bed to stare. This final didn't put anything on it. I sent it in with my name on it. [00:11:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:17] Speaker B: I hit the bong, and I immediately went. I woke up, my mom would go, I need to go to the hospital. Like, I'm having the worst panic attack of my entire life. [00:11:25] Speaker A: I hit the bong by best lawyer ever. This shit is easy, dude. I don't have to do anything. That's fucking crazy. So then you ended up. What? You ended up as a teacher? [00:11:33] Speaker B: Immediately teaching. [00:11:34] Speaker C: Okay. [00:11:34] Speaker B: So I went to. When I was getting my masters, I went to go teach at my. At the high school that I knew would hire me. [00:11:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:40] Speaker B: Catholic school. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:42] Speaker B: So, you know, it was funny because I'm a history guy, and when I went for an interview, I was like, we got English. [00:11:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:48] Speaker B: And I'm like, I can read. [00:11:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:51] Speaker B: And I got. [00:11:51] Speaker A: I love Jesus and I can read. [00:11:53] Speaker C: I'm good. [00:11:53] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I've been there for three. It's been now my fourth year, but I'm actually transitioning into an administration role. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:01] Speaker B: Just this week, but I'm still teaching part time. [00:12:03] Speaker A: So you teach English then? [00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah, high school English. [00:12:05] Speaker A: High school. How old? What, what year? Senior, freshman, junior, Every. [00:12:08] Speaker B: I used to teach everyone, but now it's just seniors, juniors and freshmen. [00:12:14] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Sophomore. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I just like, I. I basically do like. It's just I teach every grade because I have electives that multiple grades can go into. [00:12:24] Speaker C: Got. [00:12:24] Speaker B: You got journalism and things like that. [00:12:26] Speaker A: Okay. And do you. Because I. This is the part that interest me. When you told me you're a teacher and you wanted to do. There are other people I know who are teachers who do comedy and they always have stories. A lot of them are substitutes. They. I hear them, like, a lot of their jokes come from there. And when I went to school and you're like, we were talking before. I'm a couple years older than you. But when I went to school, it was just a very different experience. There was no online aspect to school. It was strictly in person. And it wasn't as the world wasn't as such a hot plate for insane political topics. Whereas now, if you're in high school, and this may be different in a Catholic school, but high school now, I, I can't imagine. Because if you don't believe what everyone else believes, you could be outcast immediately. Which. Your school is probably more conservative than liberal, I'm guessing. [00:13:12] Speaker B: 100%. Yeah, 100% in terms of. Well, it's even like, you know, it's a small school. It's a very small. [00:13:20] Speaker A: How many kids. [00:13:21] Speaker B: I. Well, I. Overall, right now it's about 220 though, for four. [00:13:26] Speaker A: That's it. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:27] Speaker A: I went to a 4,000 person school. Holy shit. Okay. [00:13:31] Speaker B: It's a very small Catholic school, so, like everyone knows everything about each other. Yeah, it's just like. And also, it's just like, it's so small that they could basically get away with anything. Yeah, I mean, we're. We're keeping the school alive at this point. [00:13:43] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:13:44] Speaker B: And, you know, some kids are great. Some kids, behavior wise, it's just, you know, the older they get, the worst. They, like, the freshmen are always the quietest. [00:13:53] Speaker A: Really. [00:13:54] Speaker B: They're always like, the. More like. Okay. Like. Because they still got the eighth grade, seventh grade mentality of like a strict. And then 10th grade, they kind of ease in. [00:14:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:01] Speaker B: And then 11th grade is when they should be working the most. They don't do anything. And then 12th grade, which is just a daycare. [00:14:07] Speaker A: Yeah. We want to get out of here. [00:14:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:09] Speaker A: Bare minimum. [00:14:10] Speaker B: And like, I'm also like, I was the cool teacher. So, like, they. When you're cool, like, it's funny to be the teacher. They all, like, they have no respect for anything you say or do. [00:14:19] Speaker A: Yeah. They'll make fun of you and shit. [00:14:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:20] Speaker B: Oh my God. With these antennas on the side of my head, they. That was easiest. Easiest thing they ever could have made was those jokes. But, like, you know, you can't get mad at them. Like, I remember one because I also coach there too. [00:14:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:31] Speaker B: And I'd be driving in my car, like, actually pissed off that a kid's like, just like, fucking guy. Why don't I just slap the shit out? [00:14:36] Speaker A: You know? [00:14:37] Speaker B: Like you actually get like. But I know, I know, I know teachers that take it super serious. But like, like, like every day has got to be a new day. [00:14:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker B: You cannot have, can't hold a grudge. [00:14:48] Speaker A: Against a 16 year old. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Are you kidding me? Like, it's just like the next day you just got to move on. And you see also if you've, if you like, if they like you and they make fun of you, they'll feel bad if you're like, they actually get it. But some teachers, bro, I have teachers who have just straight up vendettas against kids. And it's brutal. [00:15:08] Speaker A: If they were cooler, there wouldn't be. There wouldn't be an issue. That's the thing. My favorite teachers in school were the cool teachers, you know, I had. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Yeah. But also where we. It's a tuition based school. [00:15:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:19] Speaker B: We can't have kids leaving. [00:15:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:21] Speaker B: So suck it up and deal with it. [00:15:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker B: I mean, you got to be able to. You gotta be able to roll with the punches. [00:15:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:26] Speaker B: You gotta be able to handle your classroom. You gotta be able to. You can't just kick these kids out of school. [00:15:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:31] Speaker B: I mean, we need these kids. So it's a give and take when it comes to those type of things. [00:15:34] Speaker A: And it's girls and boys. [00:15:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:37] Speaker B: That's a disaster. [00:15:39] Speaker A: That's tough, dude. That's tough. [00:15:40] Speaker B: And absolute disaster. [00:15:42] Speaker A: The interesting part about having such a small, like, group of kids is that I feel like you could probably reach out to the parents on a level that's like, yo, that you're your fucking kid. Like, talk to them more real than you would in a public. [00:15:56] Speaker B: No teacher will want. Like, a lot of teachers don't even do that. And it's like, it's a, It's a phone call. [00:16:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:02] Speaker B: All it takes is a phone call. And so it's like. [00:16:04] Speaker A: And they're probably like, smack the shit. [00:16:05] Speaker B: Out of him if you parents have told me that. Oh, my God. And it's a good. Listen, it's a very good school environment. I, I, you know, know, you know, it's a younger teacher base. [00:16:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:15] Speaker B: We're all like, we're very cool with, you know, not only for me, but the kids, like, it's easy to relate to them, but some teachers, man, there's. They're stuck in a wrong era. You got to be able to roll, especially with this Internet. You got to teach a different way. And I don't really know what that. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Is like, but you relate to. I mean, you're. You're 27 years old. You're able to relate to these kids a lot. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I just, you know, it's just like one. They got to be on their phone. Like, it's. Either you put it away forever, or they're just gonna, like, you know, you either put the phone away, don't bring it even into the building. [00:16:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Or there's gotta be an interaction with a laptop or phone for your class. [00:16:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:16:52] Speaker B: You gotta have it electronically, maybe if you, you know. Okay, we have creative writing, for example. That's a class. [00:16:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:58] Speaker B: Just write your thoughts out. [00:17:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Get no electronics for that one. Write and pen the paper. And that's an adjustment. They like that. Because then it's 45 minutes where they're not just looking on their phones. Yeah, but, but like, you know, but also, the kids are dicks. [00:17:11] Speaker A: Of course. [00:17:11] Speaker B: There's just some of them that are just, you know, they're not. No matter how much you help them, it's like they got. They're gonna. Not that they're gonna turn out really bad or anything like that. It's just like, they'll figure it out. [00:17:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:23] Speaker B: It's not, it's not my. [00:17:26] Speaker A: You can only do so much. [00:17:27] Speaker B: Damn right. Yeah, exactly. [00:17:29] Speaker A: Now with, with cheating. What's that? Like, because I had. In school, it was always, you know, the, the piece of paper or the. Like, we had. I had phones. But yeah. Dude, it's got to be so easy to cheat. [00:17:43] Speaker B: Well, exams now, so my room is extremely small. [00:17:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:47] Speaker B: And I have like 25 kids in that Room. [00:17:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:48] Speaker B: Which is extremely, you know, but it's easier because I'm like, if I'm scanning, it's so easy to see something. Of course, like a bigger classroom, it's kind of actually harder to arrange the room. [00:17:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:57] Speaker B: But in terms of papers, it's all paid now. The papers are. Yeah, the, the tests are less fucked. [00:18:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:18:03] Speaker B: Because in the day you can just look and see, you know, but now if it's like, hey, you got a paper due in a week. It's like they're using ChatGPT, they're using Grammarly, they're using eight different types of. They will do nine different types of algorithms just so they don't have to write a paper which can't really prove it, honestly. [00:18:19] Speaker A: It's very hard. [00:18:20] Speaker B: Chat GBT now it's very hard to prove because like there's different, you know, you could tell. [00:18:25] Speaker A: Chat GPT, make it seem like a 17 year old kid. [00:18:27] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:18:28] Speaker A: And it'll switch it up. [00:18:29] Speaker B: Yeah. And then like you would put it into Grammarly and like fix these words up so like sounds like my words. [00:18:33] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:18:34] Speaker B: Like okay. And plus I have 70 papers to grade anyway, so it's not like I'm like intently looking, you know. [00:18:40] Speaker A: Dude, see that's my fear with this is that like when we're in our 50s, right, and the kids who are in school now, they end up, let's say becoming doctors or lawyers. I'm gonna go to a doctor who cheated his way through school and I'm gonna, I'm not gonna know. I mean, by that time we'll probably won't even be doctors. It'll probably be machines. But it scares me. I'm like, we're raising. This generation is going to be a. Idiots, unfortunately. [00:19:05] Speaker B: I think because with college you're able to buckle down into a subject you like. [00:19:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:10] Speaker B: You know, so then you should be doing your own work. Yeah, but in terms of they got to get through those gen ed courses of like English, math, science. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Well, the I learned in high school. I mean the basic math, English, stuff like that. Maybe elementary school is really where it's at like that, like that's the core. Because that's what you'll end up knowing and remembering for the rest of your life. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Elementary. Yeah, Once you get into high school, the parents, you know, they stop, they really stop caring. Yeah, they're very into it. In eighth grade it wasn't high school. And high school flies. You remember? [00:19:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:39] Speaker B: High school, you're there for a blink, you know, they just are you Going to college. Okay. You don't really have to go to college, but do you want to go to college? Sure. Let's put you in college. [00:19:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:47] Speaker B: They kind of. Because a lot of these parents don't graduate college. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:50] Speaker B: So it's not like these parents, you know, they don't really want. They. Maybe they want them to succeed in that way. [00:19:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:54] Speaker B: Like, they want to keep them where they are, just like they were. [00:19:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:57] Speaker B: Or, you know, it's not that big of a deal to them. [00:20:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:01] Speaker B: You know. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Well, now college really doesn't. When I was. I had parents. My parents are a lot older, but they were always like, you got to go to college. You have to go to college. It was a thing 100. And now, realistically, dude, I know people with degrees. They're not using them. Going to colleges is. It may as well be like, what's the word? It's out. As I dated a little bit. [00:20:22] Speaker B: It's. It shouldn't be dated, but it is based on the fact that you can't fucking afford it. [00:20:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:27] Speaker B: It's. It's a. It's a joke. It's a. Legitimately a joke. [00:20:31] Speaker A: The only thing I think that college is really beneficial for is the. Is critical thinking. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:20:36] Speaker A: Of like, you're dealing with being in a world where people think differently than you in high school. Everything's sort of intellectual. [00:20:41] Speaker B: Yes. I agree completely. [00:20:43] Speaker A: College is where I learned how to think for myself in the sense of when I was in. I was in college for a very fucking long time. Like, way longer than I did it for, like seven years, dude. I was like, Kreischer. [00:20:54] Speaker B: Like Bert Kreischer because he was in Florida State for seven years. [00:20:57] Speaker A: That's literally. I was in. I was. I got thrown out of my first college. I had to go to community college and fix my. Together. And then I went to Brooklyn College. [00:21:06] Speaker B: Gotcha. [00:21:06] Speaker A: And then that I figured out in community college, like, I started studying theater and like that. So I. When I was at the tail end of it in Brooklyn College, it was. The liberal agenda was starting to really hit. Like, it was. Trump just got in office. Oh, yeah. [00:21:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:22] Speaker A: The whole thing. And I was sitting there kind of going, I. I don't consider myself any sort of political party. I just consider myself someone who thinks for themselves. [00:21:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:30] Speaker A: And I was sitting there and everyone was like, crying, and I'm like, what the fuck? But he won. Like, big deal. Like, that's it. Let's. Let's keep this rolling. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:37] Speaker A: People were so staunch about being just in this. In this group, and I wasn't about it. And that's where I was able to go. Either you get sucked in to the group thing and you end up like them, or you go, okay, no, no, I don't agree with that. I agree with this. I don't agree with that. And that's where critical thinking is, really helps. And that's where college helps. However, now, if you go to college, I think most people want to make friends and they get sucked into whatever that is. [00:22:05] Speaker B: That's interesting. I never thought of it that way. I was in. I was a freshman during. When Trump won. It was the same demeanor, type of demeanor. And, you know. [00:22:12] Speaker A: You were in Rutgers. [00:22:13] Speaker B: I was at Rutgers, yeah. [00:22:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:22:14] Speaker B: And it was the same type of like, just like pure sadness. I remember it rained that day and I had like an American studies class that day, and they're like, we were all pissed. And I went to Rutgers, Newark. [00:22:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:25] Speaker B: Which was the. Is the most. When I was there was the most diverse school in the country. [00:22:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:28] Speaker B: So it was. I remember taking black political thought. I remember taking African American studies and being the only white guy in there. [00:22:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:35] Speaker B: And, you know, I'd be like, you know, Trump kind of blows. And like, everyone's like, oh, he's good one. Thank God. [00:22:40] Speaker C: You know what I mean? [00:22:40] Speaker B: Like, yeah, like. And I did it because I honestly felt that way. You know, there's critical. I do agree that there is a group think type of situation going on where you're trying to fit in. [00:22:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:52] Speaker B: You don't want to cause any stir. If you have an opinion about stuff you kind of want to say if no one else agrees with you, especially in college, if you're dormant and stuff like that. [00:22:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:59] Speaker B: But I also think those opinions are kind of dumb because you just learned from your parents. Like, you're 16 years old. When you walk in there at 16, 17 years old as a college freshman, you don't really know. [00:23:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:10] Speaker A: I, I was older. That's why I think I was in my mid. [00:23:12] Speaker B: You're right. That's true. [00:23:13] Speaker A: So that. That could be it. [00:23:15] Speaker B: It's. It just want to cut. In community colleges. I tell every kid to go there. [00:23:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:19] Speaker B: Because at the end of the day, you still get the same degree. If you go for two years and go to another school, you still get the same degree. [00:23:23] Speaker A: Well, you get the same degree and you could bang out all this, all the nonsense you don't want to do, and then go to a new school. If. If you want to do that and do everything that you like. Which is great. [00:23:33] Speaker B: I just talked to a parent yesterday that wants to do the same thing. I'm like, absolutely, go ahead. I wish I did it. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Yeah. That dude. That's what happened. If I didn't get thrown out of my first school, which thank God I did. [00:23:44] Speaker B: What school was that? [00:23:45] Speaker A: City Tech dude in downtown Brooklyn. I just. I was eating Adderall like Skittles and wasn't going to class. I was just recreationally doing meth. It was fucking crazy. [00:23:56] Speaker B: I never got into anything besides smoking copious amounts of marijuana. [00:24:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:01] Speaker B: Like just with my buddies. Like cuz I didn't dorm. [00:24:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:04] Speaker B: I commuted. Yeah. So I just. All my buddies that. Who went to Montclair. [00:24:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Went to, you know, Willie P. You know, we all just hung out my dorm, watched Matty Matheson make chicken parm. And just literally it's all we did every day was just smoke copious amounts of marijuana. And like, girls weren't even a factor because we weren't getting any. [00:24:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Let's just smoke weed and pretend we're not sad. [00:24:27] Speaker A: Know. See, I did that in early high school. Like early early high school. [00:24:32] Speaker B: And I know everyone that's like, I was so dated because everyone tells me like. Like I remember being in high school as a senior and it was like a mad and tour like, oh, this buddy's house. These guys had mountains jars of weed in their house. Something like this. [00:24:44] Speaker A: Like, oh my goodness, there's drugs in here. [00:24:47] Speaker B: Like just being petrified. [00:24:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:24:49] Speaker B: And I'm like. I'm like, what was I doing? [00:24:51] Speaker A: Yeah, no, you were doing. You were doing the right thing, dude. Yeah, I wasn't. I was a crazy mess. [00:24:57] Speaker B: I was the. Again. I was the firstborn. [00:24:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:24:59] Speaker B: So I was very. And not. I had nobody. Like my cousins I didn't talk to there. A lot of them were older. [00:25:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:05] Speaker B: So I was just basically raised by my mother, my aunt, my dad. [00:25:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:08] Speaker B: So like I was like. When people made fun of me, I'm like, oh my God. People don't think I'm just awesome. [00:25:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:13] Speaker B: That's how I got funny. We're just getting professionally bullied. [00:25:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Like repeatedly. [00:25:17] Speaker A: That's. You need to do that. [00:25:18] Speaker B: Because I'm like, I can't not. What am I gonna do? Just be the sad kid all the time? Like I gotta roll with the punches or else I'm. [00:25:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:24] Speaker B: You know what I mean? [00:25:25] Speaker A: Legit. [00:25:26] Speaker B: Yeah. So then I had, you know, once I got older, it started being like, yeah, I could do this stuff. And it's Kind of fun. [00:25:31] Speaker A: That's the thing, man. We like. I think doing drugs is. And look, if. If you're like a person who's like, I don't want to do it, then I've always been the guy. Say, if you don't want to do something, I'm. I'm going to do it. You don't have to do this. I don't want you to feel like you need 100. I don't like, peer pressure. I think it's fucking. That's. Losers do that shit. [00:25:49] Speaker B: Oh, 100%. [00:25:51] Speaker A: But doing drugs, I mean, it's a major part of growing up. Well, even if it's just weed, I. I am. [00:25:57] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I got kids who are doing, like. [00:26:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:01] Speaker B: Who I have to, like, try reign them in. [00:26:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:04] Speaker B: They tell me crazy stories. I'm like, you're 17. You're 18 years old. [00:26:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:07] Speaker B: I got a kid who got. Who got a. He's like, he's either doing steroids, he's betting like a thousand dollars a hand. [00:26:14] Speaker A: Always gambling. [00:26:15] Speaker B: These two. Oh, my God. This one kid. Oh, my God. I. I don't know what to do with him. Yeah. And I've had him for four years. I told him for four years. I'm, like, not legitimately worried, but, like, a little worried about him. [00:26:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:26] Speaker B: Because I just think, like, he's going down a weird road. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Steroids and gambling. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like £400. He's not in good shape. [00:26:32] Speaker A: Wait, he's doing steroids and he's fat? That's. Dude, that's horrible. That's horrible. That is very Italian is what that is. [00:26:41] Speaker B: No, you would think that. You would think that. You know, I coach. I coach baseball. [00:26:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:45] Speaker B: My assistant coach for this travel team is, like, 5 foot 5. Every typical Italian guy, he can't even move his neck. Like, he's latched. You can't put his. [00:26:53] Speaker A: Like, I never understood that. [00:26:54] Speaker B: Never. Well, when you're five' five. Well, you're. You're. [00:26:56] Speaker C: You're. [00:26:57] Speaker B: You're sexy, though. [00:26:58] Speaker A: You don't need to be. [00:26:59] Speaker B: Yeah. You don't need to be jacked. [00:27:01] Speaker A: But I'm still seeing you on Instagram. [00:27:02] Speaker B: And I'm like, I'm at the gym, like, trying to do crutches, and you're posting. You're, like, in a small pool or whatever you're in. [00:27:08] Speaker A: No, dude, it's. It's. I. I've never was. I never enjoy. I want. I always wanted to be taller. Like, that was my fucking dude, if I was taller, God, I wouldn't have a personality. If I was. [00:27:17] Speaker B: That's all I got. [00:27:20] Speaker A: But it's a lot of friends. Like when I. If I start to, like, put on some weight, like, dude, you look good. And I'm like, I don't like that. I like being thin. I'd rather be thin. [00:27:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm just fat now, cuz I'm drinking heavily. [00:27:30] Speaker A: I'm not fat. [00:27:31] Speaker B: No, I got the Italian belly. No, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. [00:27:35] Speaker A: You go to the gym for a couple weeks, you're fine. Do you go to the gym? [00:27:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I do. I. I do. I just should be going more, you know? I just. I don't know. [00:27:45] Speaker A: Well, if you start doing comedy, bro, you're going to. Really? Between the gym, your job and comedy, God help you. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I got to get back on stage. I got to go. [00:27:55] Speaker A: Was the last time you got up? [00:27:56] Speaker B: I went up Middle August. [00:27:58] Speaker A: Okay. And that was a while. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:00] Speaker A: And who came to rich? [00:28:03] Speaker B: Who went that day? No one. I think I went by myself then. Yeah, that was in the red room. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Oh, he gave you one of the spots? [00:28:11] Speaker B: Yes, he gave me the spot. I had two spots in the red room. I did. [00:28:13] Speaker A: Nice. [00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, he was telling me how they go over your set. [00:28:17] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:17] Speaker B: And I'm like. He was like, mumbling to the phone. I'm like, do you think I suck or you think I can't hear a word you're saying? Yeah, but he had me dying. He's like, yeah, the thing about you having a midget cock, that was funny. He was just like, yeah, the one about the tits, that was good. And it's like, he's so nonchalant. I'm dying. Why? A guy's just like, nonchalantly telling me my jokes. [00:28:36] Speaker A: Midget cock. [00:28:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:37] Speaker A: It's like, this is a grown man talk. We're having a business conversation right now. [00:28:40] Speaker B: Yes, that's exactly what it is. I'm like, am I getting a spot? It's like, so funny. [00:28:44] Speaker A: He's. Yeah, he's. He's always done right by me. I've had. I've had tough, tough times in that. In Broadway, man. A lot of bad sets. The worst one I ever had. I was booed there. That was rough. [00:28:56] Speaker B: You did a set and he's Handover Paul. [00:28:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:58] Speaker B: Is that right next to Gettysburg? It was that southern or is that right next to us? [00:29:02] Speaker A: No, this is far. This is. This is far. This was damn Near Maryland, dude. [00:29:07] Speaker B: Yeah, that's Gettysburg. So I go to get. I'm a. I've been to Gettysburg now. No kidding. A thousand times. [00:29:12] Speaker A: Why? Because you're history book. [00:29:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Really? [00:29:14] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah, I love it. East Hanover, When I was 21, I went there for my 21st birthday. Was Gettysburg. [00:29:19] Speaker A: Okay. [00:29:19] Speaker B: That's how funny. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. You're gay, dude. [00:29:23] Speaker B: Oh dude, I remember we got pulled over. I had Kobe's amounts of alcohol in the trunk. Driving the fucking Subaru. [00:29:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:29] Speaker B: Which is gay. I'm not helping my point here. And then the guy pulled us over because I was going like 70, like a 50. And the guy, mustache, old guy. [00:29:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:38] Speaker A: Redneck, typical cop. [00:29:39] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:29:40] Speaker B: He's like, what are you going for? I'm like 21st birthday. He goes, the Gettysburg? Yeah, in the back. And the guy who became a cop, my buddy goes, huge history buff, this guy. [00:29:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:50] Speaker B: He's like, let me come. Be right back. And I'm sitting there going panicking. Probably smoke weed. [00:29:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Sitting there, I'm like shaking. Guy goes, he had to take 30 minutes. He comes back, he goes, I got. I called Gaysbrook pd. We're gonna keep an eye out on you. Have a good one. And I'm like, oh my God. Because he's like 21 year olds going to gain. [00:30:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:30:07] Speaker A: That's weird. That's a weird 21st birthday. I will say though, in Hanover it's a. I did not realize the history. They have a funeral and a funeral. A cemetery outside the comedy club I was at for civil War. Like right before Gettysburg there was a. [00:30:21] Speaker B: Rattle to Gettysburg, bro. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I went to Eastern. They were strip club there. Sensations. [00:30:27] Speaker A: Oh my God. [00:30:28] Speaker B: Sensations. I remember I strip club in Gettysburg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:30:32] Speaker A: What did the women look like? That's. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Dude, there was one of them. I remember one of them. First of all, there's one. And I remember sitting there and she was on the. She was so hot. And I remember sitting there and I go, back corner, let's go to the back room. And they didn't have seats. They had cubbies. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Oh. [00:30:47] Speaker B: Like it was like a dude. Yeah. And I'm sitting there, I'm like, you got to move the whole bogan. Like you got. [00:30:51] Speaker A: I love you. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Get the out of here. Like what are you doing here? [00:30:54] Speaker A: And what'd she say? [00:30:55] Speaker B: She was. I don't know if I remember. I was hammered. But like I just remember her being. I'd be like here. [00:31:00] Speaker A: What? Yeah, you could. You could do so well. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Russian like this kid this girl is beautiful. And I'm like, what are you doing here? [00:31:05] Speaker A: How she must have been. She's probably out of there by now, I hope. [00:31:09] Speaker B: God bless. [00:31:09] Speaker A: She's probably like 18 or something. She's probably in. In New Jersey or. [00:31:12] Speaker B: New Jersey. Yeah. Only fans. [00:31:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:13] Speaker B: Only fans. [00:31:14] Speaker A: That's a crazy Gettysburg for 21st birthday, man. I mean, I like history, but I never. [00:31:20] Speaker B: I mean, I go there at least once a year, twice a year. [00:31:23] Speaker C: Really? [00:31:23] Speaker A: And taking my girlfriends the same shit or. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Yeah, it's paid. Nothing changes there. Like. Like, I just. It's a home away from home. You know what I mean? [00:31:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:31] Speaker B: You deal with the hustle and bustle. Compared to me, I'm living in suburbia. [00:31:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:34] Speaker B: You know, I mean, you're so like. It's just good getaway. I enjoy it. I just. I went this. I was 1 years old and, you know, it's just like gravitated. [00:31:41] Speaker A: I get that. [00:31:41] Speaker B: I mean, it's my autism. It's part of my tism a little bit. [00:31:44] Speaker A: There's a spectrum. You're on the spectrum. [00:31:47] Speaker B: No doubt. [00:31:48] Speaker A: But it's cool, man. I mean, history. I love history. I was never into like Civil War history. I always liked World War II. [00:31:55] Speaker C: That. [00:31:55] Speaker A: That shit, like fucking blows my mind. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Yeah. I was always Civil War because my mom's an author. She wrote a book on it. [00:32:00] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:32:01] Speaker B: Yeah, book. My Country Needs Me by Enrica. You'll see it on Amazon. But it's. Yeah, it's a small little book about a soldier that. So basically he was married. He was dating a girl who got. Who died. She's the only civilian killed in the battle. This. [00:32:15] Speaker A: True story. [00:32:15] Speaker B: True story. Yeah. Yeah. So one of the soldiers, Jack Skelly, he was a soldier who grew up in Gettysburg fought. She was a kind of a. [00:32:25] Speaker A: She worked the Sensations. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, she worked the Sensations. She was the first one. She bought it and then she got shot. Just baking bread for the soldiers, really. And then he died 10 days. He died like 10 days later. So. Like, from a bully I wounded in battle. So, like, it's just. He's not well known. She's very well known, so she wanted to shed light on him. [00:32:44] Speaker A: Wow. [00:32:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:45] Speaker A: That's very fucking cool. [00:32:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. We go to book signings and stuff. It's good. [00:32:49] Speaker A: So your mom is. That's. She's a professional writer. [00:32:52] Speaker B: She is a. She wrote that book. She's a published author, but she. Right now she's a librarian. But I want her to write more. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Okay. Oh, but she works in. In that, yes. In that world. That makes sense. Wow. Okay, so when does your mom know that you, you were doing stand up? [00:33:05] Speaker B: Yeah, she's horrified because my mom's the older 10. We're all, you know, you're not talking about, I hope you're not talking about bad things. I'm like, yeah, really talking about pussy. The entire set talking about nothing too fast and yeah, sorry, mom. And she's like, can I watch it? I'm like, I'm not showing you. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't want you to see. [00:33:22] Speaker B: This for a million years. [00:33:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:24] Speaker B: And my dad's a doctor, so, like, he's like sitting there like, God help us. Yeah. Like, don't do anything that's going to cause any problems. [00:33:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Like, but they're, they're excited for me, you know, but my dad's like, it's good, it's fun. [00:33:36] Speaker A: You know, the thing is, is that since your mom is a writer, the reason I was asking if she, if she knew you did stuff stand up is that she's so, she's like creative, she's artistic. [00:33:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:44] Speaker A: And you. Comedy is writing. There's an art to it. [00:33:47] Speaker B: 100. [00:33:48] Speaker A: So I was wondering, I was curious if she was like, hey, you know what? Go for it. [00:33:52] Speaker B: No, I, I did it on myself just because when I was 10, that's all I did was watch stand up. 10 years old. I, I sports. [00:33:58] Speaker C: Yeah, Stand up. [00:33:59] Speaker B: It's all I cared about. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:00] Speaker B: I would watch Stand up every day, Comedy Central, those 30 minute clips. Yeah, every day. I would watch Jeff die from Louis ck, Joe Coy, not even guys I like just watching and learning. I watch them constantly. [00:34:14] Speaker A: It's, it's a, it's a exciting. I don't watch Stand up anymore. I used to watch it a lot. [00:34:21] Speaker B: You see it every day. [00:34:22] Speaker A: I, I, I'm around it so much. I'll go to a club and watch like professionals, because I want to learn and it's, it's entertaining, but I don't, I just don't. One, I don't want to like, rob jokes subconsciously. That's why I don't do it. Two is like you said, I'm just like, I, I'm tired. Like, I, I don't need stand up right now. I need to chill. [00:34:42] Speaker B: And partially the reason why I haven't done stand up is because I'm an alcoholic and keep just going out and like, Can I read you a text? I went through. Yeah, of course. So we went out to like a dive bar, me and my buddies. [00:34:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Okay. And now we're six single guys. [00:34:53] Speaker A: Okay. Wow, that's a great. You know, lucky you are to be. Have to have five other friends, bro. [00:34:58] Speaker B: You think it's great. And then you realize you got to try and get friends. Six single girls to come home with you. It's literally. [00:35:03] Speaker A: That's a good point. But at least you have someone to hang out with. [00:35:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:06] Speaker A: All my friends are married. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Are they? [00:35:07] Speaker A: Dude, every. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Almost me, bro. We're gonna be all right. We're gonna. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Dude, I'm down, dude. [00:35:11] Speaker B: Dude, we gotta. [00:35:12] Speaker A: I want to meet the girls who like to police officers. [00:35:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, dude, you'll be fine. I'm telling you. You're a jersey 11. So my buddy left his. My buddy left his. In his car. Like, my backpack from working my car the night. [00:35:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:26] Speaker B: We got hammered. He was talking to this girl and my buddy. Listen, we're all over six feet, guys. Yeah, you know, he's a shorter dude, so, like, he's got to basically like. Like when a leopard kills a gazelle, he's got to grab the girl and, like, bring her up a tree so we don't go nearer. You know what I mean? So he take. He goes, guys, go to. We're gonna go to another bar. And he's like, I'm gonna stay here with this girl. This girl was like. She just had a nice smile. Let's put it that way. [00:35:45] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:46] Speaker B: But I was rooting for him, so he's like, bro, he called me at the other bar. He's like, yo, I gotta come to the. You gotta. You. I left my keys in your car. Come back. I go, I'm gonna help him out. No problem. Here's how the text exchange. Gwent, I'm eight minutes away. I'm here. He writes back, where you at? I go at the car. He goes, bro, I'm at the crib. As in his crib. I go, yours. He goes, yes. Gonna fuck under the bridge. We good? I go, first of all, he goes, can you pull up now or no. [00:36:19] Speaker C: For the keys. [00:36:20] Speaker B: I go, you know, usually you should probably be like, don't do that. Are you okay? I write, what bridge? And he. He responds, mind your business. [00:36:35] Speaker A: What you want to go? Jerk. You need somewhere to jerk off? Dude, dude, that. [00:36:39] Speaker B: Mind your business. [00:36:40] Speaker A: That is. [00:36:41] Speaker B: That had me dying when he texted. [00:36:43] Speaker A: Me that, dude, honestly, the part that killed me was, we gonna fuck under the bridge. We good? [00:36:48] Speaker B: We good? Because his apartment has a bridge underneath it. Yeah. I'm like, what bridge? [00:36:55] Speaker A: What kind of woman is like, I'm down to fuck under a bridge. [00:36:58] Speaker B: I think cheating on her husband as far from my source. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Really cool girl. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Let's just say that that's the next day we kept. We were like, joking him about it because she, you know, at the end of the day, wasn't the one I would choose. But I kept going. But guys, she had a nice smile. She legitimately did. And for my buddy, he needed it, bro. He was in a drought. [00:37:15] Speaker A: Did anyone else get laid that night? [00:37:17] Speaker B: No way. [00:37:18] Speaker A: So he picked the right one. [00:37:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:37:20] Speaker B: 100%, I don't think. [00:37:22] Speaker C: No. [00:37:22] Speaker B: No way. But, like, because now, like, I don't know, being. I've been single for a while now, bro. [00:37:28] Speaker A: Yeah, me too. [00:37:28] Speaker B: Have you? [00:37:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I haven't had a. I was. I was seeing someone long distance for. For a hot minute. But, like, serious relationship was probably like two years ago. A little more than that. [00:37:38] Speaker B: Mine's the same way. [00:37:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:39] Speaker B: Mine's literally, I think when I started first starting teaching, I broke up. Or like, we broke up. Fall. Yeah, I just like. Like, you know, I enjoyed hooking up with her when we were broken up, that was kind of cool. But then that ended. [00:37:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:51] Speaker A: That always. You got like, one or two good months, and then. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I just don't want, you know, I'm. I want to figure out my own before I get really connected with somebody. Does that make sense? [00:37:59] Speaker A: I'm in the same place, dude. [00:38:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:01] Speaker A: It's like, you don't want to, like, because now you're at an age where. Where if you find someone, they're looking for something. Like, all right, like, let's. This would be nice if we could build a relation. Like, build something here. And if you're not prepared, whether it's financially, emotionally, whatever. [00:38:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:14] Speaker A: You're going to waste your time and theirs. [00:38:16] Speaker B: And especially at our age now, it's like the girls, like, what's your 401k? [00:38:20] Speaker C: Oh. [00:38:21] Speaker B: I was like, do you want to drink, bro? [00:38:22] Speaker A: God help you if you start telling them you do comedy. [00:38:24] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:38:25] Speaker A: I'm immediately dry. Yeah, dude. The only way the. The women that I'll. I could attract are the ones who are either fresh out of a relationship, ones who go, I haven't been laid in a minute. I am looking for something serious, but I'll this funny guy tonight. Or you have younger, younger girls, like, 22. And they're like, they have time to waste. [00:38:48] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:48] Speaker A: And I'm like, all right, that's Harrison. [00:38:50] Speaker B: You hit the nail on the head. Every single one is what I'm dealing with right now, dude. [00:38:53] Speaker A: It's tough. [00:38:53] Speaker B: It's the same exact situation. It's, you know, I have a date tonight. And like, she's like, makes quadruple my salary. [00:38:58] Speaker A: And I'm like, what did she do? [00:39:00] Speaker B: Some software. [00:39:02] Speaker C: Okay. [00:39:03] Speaker B: Which is like a good job. Like, I don't know what anything that means. [00:39:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:05] Speaker B: Like, why do you make 200k a year? Like, still trying to figure out. [00:39:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:09] Speaker A: You type. [00:39:09] Speaker B: Yeah. You typing. And it's like, I'm still like, that shit I can never do. Like, I don't know. Like, that's just not me. I don't know if I can ever be. I couldn't see sales, so I don't even know what that means. [00:39:17] Speaker A: No software engineer or some shit. I don't even know what that is. [00:39:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So like, I got to go on date with her. And like, I remember, like, I met her in Hoboken. She's like, what do you do? And I'm like, I'm a teacher. Because you live at home still. I'm like, yeah. She goes, oh, I still hit it. But like, at the end of the day, like, it's just. [00:39:32] Speaker A: It's a hard rough. [00:39:33] Speaker B: And they're not wrong. I don't really blame them either. [00:39:36] Speaker A: Most women. Now, the funny thing is society has did such a flip flop now where women are the breadwinners. Like, women are making more money than men now whether. Forget if like the onlyfans world, which is obviously insane, but most women, like, they just do better than men. And now. How old is she? [00:39:53] Speaker B: She's my age. [00:39:54] Speaker A: She's in a place where she's like, all right, if this guy, I could take care of myself. Is he. Is he polite? Does he shower? Is he. Does he have a decent sense of humor? [00:40:03] Speaker B: I think that's why I'm going out. [00:40:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker A: It's like, okay, he can hold the conversation. He's not dumb. And they go the money thing. I can actually fair. [00:40:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I just had this conversation with my buddies. Like, how much money does your wife or girl have to make for you to feel insecure about yourself? [00:40:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:17] Speaker B: And I wouldn't give a. Like, again, I still want to. I would always compete to try and make more. [00:40:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:22] Speaker B: Because that's just how I am. [00:40:23] Speaker A: But like, you should want to for yourself. [00:40:25] Speaker B: I just want. Yeah, I. I'm still that old Italian. [00:40:27] Speaker A: Like, yeah, man. [00:40:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:29] Speaker B: I still kind of feel that way. [00:40:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:31] Speaker B: You know, so I, you know, I would always compete for it. But like, my buddy who has again, makes a good salary Like, I want her to make more than me. You know what I mean? But my copy is, like, she should make nothing. She just sit in the house. [00:40:41] Speaker A: She should be making ravioli. [00:40:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Legitimately. Yes. That's. That would. What he would be saying. And I get it to a point. [00:40:48] Speaker A: But here's my thing. I wouldn't mind someone who makes a ton of money. I would probably mind if someone came from a very wealthy family and their family controlled our relationship. That's where I'd be like, I don't want to live like that twofold. [00:41:01] Speaker B: There's one. One of my boys had a girlfriend, very similar like that. [00:41:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:04] Speaker B: And she was very controlling. And it just is, like, you have no choice. And you also. You're lily white. You never had to deal with any. You never had a battle through anything. [00:41:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:12] Speaker B: I mean, so, like, it's the first thing first. You go to your parents for something. You know, I mean, that's fair. That's your. That's your prerogative. But the other one is, I have a girl. I have a friend. She's not really mine. She's a good friend of mine, and she, like, her whole life is like, I'm. I'm gonna be barefoot and pregnant. Like, I want to be at home taking care of the kids. Oh, okay. [00:41:31] Speaker A: I didn't like the fuck you. No, I thought you meant she wants to live in the forest or some shit. [00:41:35] Speaker C: Okay. [00:41:36] Speaker B: No, she just wants to be, like, a housewife. [00:41:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:39] Speaker B: But, like, she. But, like, she goes above that where she, like, legitimately thinks, like, women are, like, not the same as. Like, we shouldn't be equal. [00:41:45] Speaker A: I don't. [00:41:46] Speaker B: She's a woman. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:48] Speaker B: We're guys. Like, I just, like, I want a girl with a little bit of ambition outside of the house. And I respect the fact my mom was a. Was a homemaker for a while. Yeah, I respect. That's a lot of work. I'm not saying it isn't, but I want some. Like, what's your passion? [00:42:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:00] Speaker B: What do you have a passion other than, like, just cleaning my room, cleaning up after me? [00:42:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:05] Speaker B: I would like someone with a little bit of zing to them. You know what I mean? [00:42:08] Speaker A: And also, it's in. It's also good to know it up front because everyone has something inside of them where they haven't explored. Like, I wonder what it would be like to do this and whether you know what it is or you don't. You have that feeling in you as a human being. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:22] Speaker A: And if someone at 22 or 23 or 24, early 20s. They go, no, no, I don't need to do anything. And you, you're like, all right, fine, we'll end up getting married. What if they wake up at 40 going, I didn't do that. I wanted to do or I thought I wanted to do. Then you got to worry. Then they have this whole crisis that you have to deal with. [00:42:37] Speaker B: How many? I know so many women that are like 40 and 50 get divorced, and now they're the horniest group of all time because they married a guy. 20. [00:42:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:43] Speaker B: And they want. And they. [00:42:44] Speaker A: Same thing with sex. It's the same thing. [00:42:46] Speaker B: It is, it is. And, you know, I. I just want a girl. A little bit of ambition, because whether that's a guy. Yeah. I just want to sit at home and take care of the kids. Like, every guy would get this. Like, all his friends would be like, dude, what the are you doing? [00:42:57] Speaker A: 100%. You'd be labeled as lazy and nuts. [00:43:02] Speaker B: And biggest deadbeat on the planet. What a waste. 100 full potential wasted. [00:43:06] Speaker A: And. [00:43:06] Speaker B: And. [00:43:06] Speaker A: And it doesn't matter. And now we live in a world where it's like, oh, women have the opposite. Why not take advantage of the opportunity? Like, fucking 100 years ago, you couldn't vote. You know what I mean? Like, that's. [00:43:17] Speaker B: And this chick is, like, literally being like, wasn't a bad move. [00:43:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Like, it's like, how old is she? [00:43:22] Speaker B: She's my age. [00:43:23] Speaker A: 27. [00:43:23] Speaker B: She's my age. [00:43:24] Speaker A: I mean, she's. [00:43:25] Speaker B: And she's love cops. [00:43:27] Speaker C: Oh, all right. [00:43:28] Speaker A: What about comedians? [00:43:29] Speaker C: No. [00:43:30] Speaker A: Well, she wouldn't be able to stay at home. Like, she. I bet you need to get to fucking work now because we're both gonna start. [00:43:37] Speaker B: She. Yeah, she's. Again, she's a nice girl. I just don't see how to, like, you know, which. [00:43:41] Speaker A: That's. That's fine. Look, everyone has their own path. [00:43:45] Speaker B: I have a lot of friends that are girls. I think that's why I'm not. Because some of them are, like, really hot. [00:43:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:50] Speaker B: And, like, I can't bring a girl around them, you know, this is Sarah. Oh, they're gonna be like, she's got fake tits. [00:43:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:56] Speaker B: She's obviously. What are you friends with her personality. You. You're friends with her because you want to stare at her, you idiot. [00:44:02] Speaker A: But you tried to her and you couldn't. So now you keep her around. [00:44:05] Speaker B: That's probably did her. Now we're just cool. You know what I mean? Like, and now it's like, oh, you can't bring them around. [00:44:12] Speaker A: I had a, I was seeing a girl once, and she said to me, I said, I have female friends. Some of them, most of them are exes, but we're friendly. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:19] Speaker A: And this girl, we were out to dinner one night and she said to me, she goes, you have a lot of women friends. Like, why, why is that? And I was like, just because. And she goes, any guy that's ever wanted to be friends with me is because he wanted to me. And I looked at her and I go, any girl that I'm friends with is because I don't want to fuck them. I'm like, if I have to be their friend to fuck them, I'm like, that. We're not going to be friends. Either we're going to fuck and then be friends, or we're not going to fuck and I'm never going to be friends with you. You understand? [00:44:47] Speaker B: Yes, I do understand. I every, every girl I've been friends. [00:44:52] Speaker A: With, or I will just be friends with you. I don't need to fuck you. Sorry, let me get. [00:44:58] Speaker B: Yeah, we're cool. [00:44:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:45:00] Speaker B: Allies. But like, I, I just think, you know, I don't know. I, I, I do think, like, oh, yeah, I have a bunch of guy friends. Like, girls say that. [00:45:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:08] Speaker B: It's like they all want to you though. [00:45:09] Speaker A: That's. I've told women that a million times. Yeah, I've said that. [00:45:13] Speaker C: Very true. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Like, not that like they're dying. Like, they're. Every day is like a new hope. [00:45:16] Speaker A: For them, but like, they're always waiting for that little opportunity. [00:45:20] Speaker B: If you're into, if she, if that girl's like, yo, Craig, let's go fuck. He's like, he's not gonna say anything. He's gonna walk into the room. You know what I mean? Like, I just think that comes with the territory. [00:45:30] Speaker A: Without a doubt. And as met. Here's the thing. We. I look like a hypocrite now, where I go, oh, they all just want to you. And then I'm sitting there going, I have women friends that I don't want to. [00:45:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:39] Speaker A: It's like, oh, well, what makes you the outlier? Well, it's like, no, no, I am, I'm, I'm telling you, I don't know. [00:45:45] Speaker B: If I have women friends. I don't want to fuck or have not have sex. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Well, I've had some of them I've had sex with and we just don't do that anymore. [00:45:51] Speaker B: That's fair. Yeah. [00:45:52] Speaker A: I mean, we just we did it once or we dated. Y friends now? [00:45:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:56] Speaker A: Or I just want to be friends with you and I have no interest in having sex with you. [00:45:59] Speaker B: I just don't know if I can bring a girlfriend around. Those girls, those type of girls, it's hard. It's not even them. [00:46:04] Speaker A: If they're hot fake tits, then that's tough, dude. That's tough. [00:46:07] Speaker B: And then the girls, every girl that has met her, that's on my buddy's friends, like their girlfriends all hated her. All hated her. And could be, you know, because of her personality. But I just think in a lot of ways it's just like, look at her. I'm a little bit insecure about it. [00:46:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:24] Speaker B: And also like she comes off again when you like guys. Like, same for me. Like when a guy comes out jacked, hot guy, he's, he does slightly something that bothers me. He's like, what a douchebag. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:37] Speaker B: I hate that guy forever now. You know, I mean, because you're looking for a reason to not like that guy. I kind of think it's a similar situation. [00:46:43] Speaker A: You know, it's funny. I've been the, the guy, the douchebag. I think a lot of people look at me and especially because in comedy, I mean, I'm, I, I'm, I'm a good looking guy. I know that. I'm not, you know, I'm not, I'm not totally. No, but you're a handsome guy as well. It's, it's in comedy when you know you're decently good looking and you happen to be funny, a lot of people will go, look at this douchebag, he's handsome and he thinks he's funny. And it's like, if you don't know me, it's. A lot of guys have been like, this guy's probably a jerk off. [00:47:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:12] Speaker A: And they meet me and they go, oh, actually, he's actually really fucking. [00:47:16] Speaker B: I agree, I agree. I just think, you know, this is all like coming out of, you know, doing comedy is like trying to help your confidence, you know? Yeah. I'm not the most confident person at all. [00:47:25] Speaker A: If you're doing comedy, you're probably really self conscious. [00:47:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:28] Speaker B: Okay. That's what I would always say. I totally agree. I walk on stage and it's like immediate panic. I just think I'm like, enough people have told me to do it. [00:47:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:37] Speaker B: That's why I'm on the stage. [00:47:38] Speaker A: And you love it, let's say. [00:47:39] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:47:40] Speaker A: You know what I mean? So it's like all right, well, if I really love this and people are saying this, maybe I should try it. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Why would I not try it? At the end of the day, I'm gonna die anyway. [00:47:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Some fat person or somebody else booze me. All right. That you move on, you go to another set. [00:47:51] Speaker A: Hurts. But you know what? You. The thing that makes you a professional is doing it again. You know, I want. [00:47:57] Speaker B: I almost want a bomb, because I haven't. I have never had a set so far where I'm just, like, doing terrible. [00:48:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:03] Speaker B: I've always done pretty good. But that's not a real comedian. A real comedian deals with bombing. [00:48:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:08] Speaker A: The more you do it that you'll. You'll experience on a regular basis, and then you just kind of become accustomed to the fact of, like, well, this ain't. This ain't my night, bro. It ain't my night. And you just go home and you go, all right, like, I'm on to the next one. [00:48:21] Speaker B: Yeah, you've done differently. [00:48:22] Speaker A: That's it. What can I learn? And sometimes it's not you. It's just. It's just. They didn't. They are just miserable people. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Yeah. It's a crowd. It's a crowd thing. [00:48:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:31] Speaker A: Or. Or you need to work on some. One or the other. [00:48:33] Speaker B: It's the same thing as coaching, because I've been coaching forever. Baseball and basketball, it's the same thing. After you get blown out in a game. [00:48:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:38] Speaker B: What could you done differently? [00:48:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:40] Speaker B: Go over what you could have done differently. And then there's sometimes fucking teams just way better than us. [00:48:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:44] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Like, what are you going to do? [00:48:45] Speaker A: We got to practice more. That's it. Just show up, practice. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Show up and try and compete. [00:48:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:49] Speaker B: You know what I mean? [00:48:50] Speaker A: It's a good way to put it. [00:48:51] Speaker B: Yeah. I love coaching, man. I. Did you play any sports at all? [00:48:54] Speaker A: I did Little League when I was, like, five, and then I did basketball for five minutes. I'm Jewish and I am. I'm five foot seven. I'm not. I'm not playing basketball. I mean, I. I'm a good six, man. I'm a good. I'm a very good. [00:49:07] Speaker B: Being a slasher, like, get the ball to the rim. [00:49:09] Speaker A: That's. That's what I do. I. But I'm not like. You're starting five ever. [00:49:12] Speaker B: No, but I see you being. You seem quick. [00:49:14] Speaker A: I'm very. Yeah, very. And I play. When I'm playing, I play like, if we're gonna be here and we're gonna do this. I'm not half assing it. We're doing it. [00:49:21] Speaker B: That's good. [00:49:21] Speaker C: I like that. [00:49:22] Speaker B: I wasn't honest. I wasn't a great athlete myself. I just been coaching for so long because I just played it enough. And I coached basketball since I was 16. [00:49:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Coach baseball now. It's just, like. It's just fun because I. I do a lot of bits on coaching because, like, I either. I coach all white kids in baseball, and they just get. I just crush them. [00:49:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:40] Speaker B: It's just like. It's verbal abuse. [00:49:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:41] Speaker A: I'm just like. [00:49:42] Speaker B: I'm like, brad, if you don't strike this kid, I'm gonna fuck your mother and send you the video. I just like. It's like, it's so. But then I coach basketball. [00:49:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:50] Speaker B: There's 12 black girls. [00:49:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:51] Speaker B: I'm like, oh, it's. [00:49:52] Speaker A: It's female. [00:49:53] Speaker B: Yeah. I coach. [00:49:54] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:49:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Naomi, just try your best, please. [00:49:59] Speaker A: Please, just, you know, don't. [00:50:00] Speaker B: You know, Amber, you're six, three. Maybe get more than two rebounds. You're the tallest person on the court. You know what I mean? I'm dropping, like, real names right now. We're just horrendous. But, like. [00:50:08] Speaker A: No, no. [00:50:09] Speaker B: I'm just thinking about it. But, like, it's so funny because they would. They get a kick out of it. I had a co. I coached. I was an assistant for a team last year, and they were all flying Spanish girls. They got a kick out of it because it was two Italian. Just gangly Italian white guys. It was just a fun dynamic. And we were good. Yeah, we were good. And I. I had a great time coaching girls. Cody. Girls basketball is probably my favorite thing. [00:50:27] Speaker A: It's probably a lot of fun. [00:50:29] Speaker B: You probably there because I didn't play professionally, anything big. And there's learning the basics. Even in high school, they're still learning. [00:50:36] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:50:37] Speaker B: So it's easier. And, like, I remember, like, I'll hit a hook shot. [00:50:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:39] Speaker B: Like, 10ft away. And, like, he's a shooter. Like, they're like, just like. [00:50:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Anything they do, they just think I'm pretty good. [00:50:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:47] Speaker B: It's easy to trick them thinking I'm awesome. [00:50:49] Speaker A: Okay. [00:50:49] Speaker B: You know, baseball, kids, they want to know where you played. [00:50:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Would you go here? Would you do this? And, like, you know, you got to. You want to have. You need to have a resume for guys. I was like, I played here. I. I hit this many homers. I did this and this. [00:51:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:02] Speaker B: And as long as you. You can be a guy who doesn't have a good resume and just be like the motivator, pick me up guy. Which I am for baseball. Really? [00:51:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:09] Speaker B: And. But basketball, it's like, you know, when you coach guys, they kind of want a resume. [00:51:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, yo, what did you do? How to. Like, who the are you? [00:51:16] Speaker B: Basically like, why are you coaching me? [00:51:17] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:51:18] Speaker B: But also, it's also like, you're in high school. Shut the up. You're probably like, your ass. [00:51:22] Speaker A: Well, the thing is, in high school, that's when you're at your most. Like, you think, who the. [00:51:25] Speaker C: Yeah, you know. [00:51:25] Speaker B: Exactly. And the best players are. Listen to you. [00:51:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:29] Speaker B: The players that think they're good don't listen to a word you say. Like, people that think like that are average. [00:51:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:34] Speaker B: Below average. Don't listen. [00:51:35] Speaker A: They don't. That makes sense, dude. [00:51:36] Speaker B: Because the guys that, they want advice all the time. [00:51:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:39] Speaker B: They want to learn, like, little things. I'm not teaching them how to, you know, reinvent the wheel, but little tweaks there. The best players grab onto those. [00:51:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:46] Speaker A: They'll go, okay, how can I get. How can I be better? And that's the only way to get better is sometimes you don't see it. Sometimes you're like, what am I doing? Which is why when I do stand up, I record every single set because I. I can't see what I'm doing on there. Dude, thank you. [00:51:59] Speaker B: I'll be dying. I'm always looking forward to seeing your set. [00:52:02] Speaker A: Thank you, man. Yeah, but I, I watch it and I go. The only way to get. I don't know what the I'm doing. Sometimes I can't remember. I have to be present. So I watch it back and I go, oh, I didn't smile there. Oh, I said it differently this time. How? Oh, the timing was off. And that's. I see comics who don't. [00:52:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:21] Speaker A: Who don't really. It's hard to ask for critique in comedy because everyone is so different. It's such a subjective thing. It's like it's shooting a basketball. You kind of do it one way. [00:52:31] Speaker B: Whereas the technique is the same. [00:52:32] Speaker A: Exactly. Your base work, you know, it's baseline here. Everything is here. And then everyone, you know, someone is a left handed or someone's right hand. It's very, you know, everyone does a. [00:52:40] Speaker B: Different flow and a different cadence. And how they. Because some people are funnier when they're loud. Some people are funnier when they're just blank, stared, you know, I mean, some. [00:52:46] Speaker A: People are just funny when they're not even telling a joke. And you go, how can you critique that by another person? So you can't ask. I mean, you could ask for advice, but yo, you have any, like, what do you think is like, when you're talking, talking broad topics with your buddies. [00:53:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:01] Speaker A: Then yes. But if it's like, what do you like with the exact joke? Some person may find that joke really stupid, another may find it great, and you have to figure out what, what you think is funny. That's it. So, yeah. [00:53:12] Speaker B: And like when you have a full job, like we do, like, you can find material anywhere. Like as a teacher. Oh, my God. [00:53:19] Speaker A: I mean, you're getting flooded with my. [00:53:21] Speaker B: First day, my first year, I was chaperone homecoming and this big ass kid came out. I could say his name because it's the funniest name in history because the Catholic school, his name's Messiah. [00:53:30] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:53:31] Speaker B: And it was like. And he wants to tell me that he would tell. He graduated, so it's fine. Yeah, he came up to me. He was my first year teacher. I've been there for a month. And he goes, Yo, Mr. D, can you open your home? Can you open your room so I can get some top? And I'm like, sophomore and just told me he's going to get, he's going to get a blow job. I'm sitting there going, I don't know what to say right now. Do I send you to the office or like dap you up? I'm like, I'm not going to open the door. But like, hilarious. [00:53:55] Speaker A: See that? Like, I, if I was a teacher, I'd probably like hear the keys. Do what you got to do, man. [00:54:02] Speaker B: I have teachers that are like, that coach football. [00:54:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:54:05] Speaker B: And they're just like, maniac. They're maniacs. They are. And it's just like they relate, they relate to the kids far too often. Like, and tell stories. Like, I don't tell them shit. [00:54:14] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Like, they may be like, what are you doing this weekend, Mr. D? I'm like, oh, I might go do some sets. [00:54:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:19] Speaker B: Like, really? [00:54:19] Speaker A: Oh, they know you do comedy a little bit. [00:54:21] Speaker B: Like, I don't give them like any, like, any. They don't have my Instagram. Even when they graduate, I don't have them, you know, I mean, like, I just keep them myself. And I'm like, make fake pages on my TikTok coach London comedy. Yeah, thanks for the plug. And then, you know, so I try to keep it myself, but these guys be telling these, these teachers be telling them too Many good. Too many stories. [00:54:39] Speaker A: That's the. It's a little weird when you're a grown adult and you're relating to a 16 year old that I was joking about. Like the kid who got split up. [00:54:47] Speaker B: Of course. [00:54:48] Speaker A: But when you're relating to a 16 year old that much, you just go. [00:54:52] Speaker B: Just stop telling stories about your past. It's gross. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, your glory days are over. Like, yeah, stop. It's not. It's not cool. It's. That's how you know who peaked in high school. Yeah, those guys, like, still talking about that time you got a job on the field. [00:55:08] Speaker B: And I think I peaked and I hate that. I hate that feeling. [00:55:10] Speaker A: No, you. I wouldn't say. [00:55:11] Speaker B: I don't think so either. But like, just being around the guy. Like, I know one guy who graduated their same school. [00:55:16] Speaker A: Oh, he really didn't go anywhere. [00:55:19] Speaker B: Yeah, no, but like, he said, like, I went to the same school I'm teaching at. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:55:22] Speaker B: But I'm at least 27. Yeah, this dude's 50. It's like he's a. [00:55:27] Speaker C: He. [00:55:27] Speaker B: He's a fan. He, like, it's like his favorite sports team is his high school. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Oh, man, I just feel bad for. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Him, you know, and it's just not good. [00:55:37] Speaker A: Is he out of shape? [00:55:38] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a mess. He loves comedy. He knows you, by the way. I'm not kidding. This guy says. I go, yeah, I'm doing. Because I. I was. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing this podcast with Harrison Marks. He goes, let me see his Instagram. I go, yeah, here. He goes, oh, I know. I go, no, you don't, dude, there's. [00:55:53] Speaker A: No way I'm nobody. [00:55:55] Speaker B: I go, dude, you don't know this guy. No, no. Just the fact that, like, you're full of, like, not you. Like, I could see him knowing you, but like, he. Have you done sets in Jersey before? Like, I don't know how he would know you. I know. [00:56:10] Speaker A: I think I've done one or two shows in Jersey. [00:56:12] Speaker B: He was talking about how, like, because he. He likes comedy, he knows a lot of comedians, so he just said he knew you after I give you the name. [00:56:19] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:20] Speaker B: I think he's totally full of. [00:56:21] Speaker A: Yeah, there's no way, dude. [00:56:22] Speaker B: I'm. [00:56:23] Speaker A: I'm. I'm literally nobody. That is. [00:56:25] Speaker B: I. Oh, so funny. [00:56:27] Speaker A: When he told me that, I'm like, I know him. I. Dude, no one. [00:56:30] Speaker B: There's just awake. Yeah, yeah, I know. He just gotta be a bit. [00:56:35] Speaker A: No, yeah, he was. He was probably just trying to be like, like when you're talking. [00:56:38] Speaker B: He was dead serious, though. [00:56:39] Speaker A: No, there's no way I'm telling you that no one knows that since that would be very. It would be a very small world. [00:56:45] Speaker B: I disagree. Dude, you're moving up, man. I Instagram taking your down. [00:56:50] Speaker A: Oh, dude, you up. But I posted it again. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Good. [00:56:53] Speaker A: And it got 1.9 million views. [00:56:55] Speaker C: Dude. [00:56:56] Speaker A: This. But they didn't take this one down. I don't know. I think someone reported it is what I think happened. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Of course. Of course. [00:57:03] Speaker A: But anyway, I actually, I'm doing a show, I think in Bergen county on no. October 24th. My buddy Sky Colin, really good comic. He asked me to do a show. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:57:14] Speaker A: So I'll let you know. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Yeah, please. [00:57:18] Speaker A: But yeah, man, it's. It's nice to have that guy. Clearly. And this is nothing, there's nothing wrong with, with going to high school, working at the high school and living that life and not leaving your neighborhood. That some people, that's just what they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. Other people have. Are curious. I was always very curious. Like, what is outside of. I grew up in this neighborhood. [00:57:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:42] Speaker A: I, I moved for a year. I lived in Los Angeles. I, I travel a lot. I'm. I, I do this because it's like if I can make money doing this, I could see the world. I want to know what's outside of Sheep's Head Bay, Brooklyn. [00:57:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I hear you. [00:57:53] Speaker A: And I, I, and I think you. [00:57:55] Speaker B: You clearly I want to, man. I, I, you know, I never left the country. I've never even been out. [00:57:59] Speaker C: Really. [00:57:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And I, I'm very same way. Like, I'm very. Well, I'm in slur. But I want to expand. [00:58:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:05] Speaker B: You know, and I, you know, teaching, it was just, it was just like. I didn't go to school for teaching. [00:58:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:09] Speaker B: The other day. So I'm trying to move off into a new avenue. At the end of the day. I just got promoted, so probably stuck a little more. But you know, at the end of day seven. [00:58:17] Speaker C: Dude. [00:58:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I need to hear that more. [00:58:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:20] Speaker B: Because I feel like I'm fucking 57, bro. [00:58:21] Speaker A: I'm 31 years old. I hang out. [00:58:23] Speaker B: You got good skin. I'm dying here. [00:58:25] Speaker A: No, dude, I smoke cigarettes. I'll be dead way before you, I promise. [00:58:27] Speaker B: I just bought a vape yesterday. [00:58:29] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:58:29] Speaker B: I used to vape years. I used to bought vapes for years. I rather smoke sick. I think Sigs are actually healthier. [00:58:33] Speaker A: They're fucking. Dude. At least that shit is A plant, dude. You know what I mean? I don't know what the that is. [00:58:37] Speaker B: I legitimately think smoking a pack of Newports is better than anything a lava pen is. [00:58:40] Speaker A: I mean, I hate Newports, but I always do. [00:58:44] Speaker B: If I do it, it's going to be American spirit. [00:58:46] Speaker A: It's. [00:58:46] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:58:46] Speaker A: That's what I smoke. [00:58:47] Speaker B: Yeah. The light blue pack. [00:58:48] Speaker A: I smoke the yellow ones, but they're good. It's. But it's. Dude, I. I have. I. In my 20s, I also was feeling very, very behind where I was like, oh, no, my. This. That. I never wanted to have children, to get married. So I was like, all right, that's fine. I don't need that to do. [00:59:02] Speaker C: Do that. [00:59:03] Speaker B: I feel the exact. This is getting weird. No, I feel. I. Not that I wouldn't want to get married. I just don't like kids. Don't like. I don't. It's not a passion of mine to have children. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Me neither. [00:59:12] Speaker B: And I've worked with kids my whole life. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Well, that could be it. You're like, I've raised hundreds of them already. I don't need to do it again. [00:59:19] Speaker B: But, you know, shapes and sizes. [00:59:20] Speaker A: But it's. It's a. It's a thing of when you have kids, they. I think when you're in your 20s, I. I was like, everyone's like, that'll probably change. That'll probably change. And I'm 31 now, and I go, okay, hasn't changed yet. But I'm open to the idea of, like, maybe when I'm 40. You know, right now I don't want them. So it's not on my list. But when I was in my 20s, I was very, very concerned of shit. I need to keep it moving. And I realized that was. Was me up from leveling up because I wasn't patient. I wasn't enjoying the process of getting better at something and going. Now when I do come, I don't think about, like, oh, I need to make it. I need to make it. I go, I'm gonna post a video today. I'm gonna go do some sets and I'm gonna write, you know, and then. And if I keep doing this thing getting better, it's the. The recipe for success. [01:00:07] Speaker B: I agree. I think that's. That's a great mentality to have. Just keep plugging away and hoping shit happen, like, that's it. Don't worry about it. You'll figure it out. You're doing. [01:00:13] Speaker A: You. [01:00:14] Speaker B: You're getting better, you know, you. You know, you're getting better. So you'll move on. [01:00:17] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:00:17] Speaker B: And then you'll worry about the rest. At the end of the day, I always say it's to my kids, I control where you can control. [01:00:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:23] Speaker B: Control what you can control. There's other people. They're gonna figure, they're gonna have an opinion about you, feel, how you feel. Worry about yourself. [01:00:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:29] Speaker B: Get your done. Believe in yourself. [01:00:31] Speaker A: A lot of people, you're gonna look at them and go, why are they further ahead? They've been doing it. No, no, you can't. [01:00:36] Speaker B: You can't. And I've had that mentality before, and it's not healthy. [01:00:38] Speaker A: It's not. [01:00:38] Speaker B: It's not productive. [01:00:39] Speaker A: It breeds that bad energy. [01:00:41] Speaker B: Yes. [01:00:42] Speaker A: And I don't mean to be super, like, hippie about it. [01:00:45] Speaker B: No, you're right. [01:00:45] Speaker A: But you have to be just chill. [01:00:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:49] Speaker A: Calm. [01:00:49] Speaker B: You can't be worried about other people. You got to be happy for them. Move on if, you know. I mean, it's people moving differently. And also, you don't know what they're going through outside of that. [01:00:56] Speaker A: Oh, they could have a. They could be fucking miserable. [01:00:59] Speaker B: I have no idea. Yeah, I have a buddy who I work with, close one. He's coached to a great guy, and he's 40. He had a kid at 40. [01:01:05] Speaker A: Okay. [01:01:06] Speaker B: And he's like the older dad, but I think he was a. I think it was a better fit for him. [01:01:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:10] Speaker B: And I could see that fit working for me as well. [01:01:12] Speaker A: You know, I prefer that too. [01:01:14] Speaker B: Yeah, because you more settled down. You know, you may not be able to see your grandkids because you'll be. [01:01:18] Speaker A: Killed over, but, like, they don't fucking exist. [01:01:20] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [01:01:21] Speaker A: It's like I have friends who exist who go, well, you know, from the future for my kids. Well, they're not here right now, so you got to worry about you. [01:01:29] Speaker B: I always be like, can I figure my own shit out before I get it? Like, that's what I'm worried about. Let me figure my own shit out. [01:01:34] Speaker A: What, I have a kid and then be miserable trying to make payments and. And pay for everything, and then I'll be fucking a shit dad. [01:01:39] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. I'm already. I deal with student loan debt and all this other bullshit. I got a fucking drop a kid on here. [01:01:44] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:01:44] Speaker B: I can worry. Let me. Like, I wouldn't be able to love my kid as much. [01:01:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:48] Speaker B: If I'm not at least a little bit more secure, if that makes sense. [01:01:51] Speaker A: I agree. Dude, I agree. I think it's a really smart way to Be. And I think people are just. They jump into shit. Like, you said you spent two years alone, and I think you need. I know so many people went relationship, relationship, relationship, marriage. [01:02:03] Speaker B: I know so many people that just jump into one to another. Like, I've had, like two years, but, like, I haven't date anyone, but I've talked to girls for a couple weeks. [01:02:11] Speaker A: But seeing people. [01:02:11] Speaker B: But, like, I'm. Maybe I'm picky, but, like, I know at this point in my life, I know what girls I can like. I'll date you. [01:02:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:18] Speaker B: See how it goes. Like, I like you really much. Like, it's. It's gonna be good. And I know, like, a month in, like, personality is not it. This is not it. [01:02:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:24] Speaker B: And they can feel the same way about me, you know, But I'm not gonna, you know, I know pretty quickly we're gonna end this. Like, I'm not. I know a lot of guys that just hang on. [01:02:32] Speaker A: Yeah. They'll go linger, bro. [01:02:35] Speaker B: They linger. It's like six years. I'm like, dude, you're not happy. Yeah, I know you're not happy, bro. Like, you're sitting there because you don't think you could do any better or, like, you're so comfortable being comfortable. [01:02:44] Speaker A: That's. [01:02:44] Speaker B: And I hate that I would. I don't want to be that guy. [01:02:46] Speaker A: There's nothing worse because then you don't even know who the you are. You don't know what makes you actually happy. And you're refusing to. You need to risk. [01:02:55] Speaker B: Yes. [01:02:55] Speaker A: Life. You got to take a risk. [01:02:57] Speaker B: And I think each relationship, you get better. You get better as a person. How to deal with women. How do you deal with yourself? How to talk. Like, what could I have done better? I just feel like more relationships. I'm not saying you sling your dick everywhere, but, you know, you. You there. There's a. I think it's a positive process. [01:03:11] Speaker A: Yes. Dating. And when things end, you have to look at it. And I've had trouble with this where letting go. The letting go process is a Rather than, oh, no, what am I going to do without this? It's. Oh, yeah. This is interesting. It's exciting. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Now. [01:03:27] Speaker B: I hear you. You know, I. There's times where I'm like, that's why, like, when you break up with somebody, then hook up with them afterwards, like, and then you have that awkward pillow talk. We're like, remember we did this and this? But, like, don't you still hate me? It's that weird interaction you have. Anyway, I used to be. I used to make fun of people for doing that. Like, and I end up doing it myself. [01:03:44] Speaker A: No, it's very common. [01:03:45] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. It is. It is. You know, I, like, I used to be like, you're gone. [01:03:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:51] Speaker B: And, like, no disrespectful, like, we got to cut it off. But now and then, I became that guy, you know? But it is common. I believe. I do agree. [01:03:56] Speaker A: It's very kind. There's. I don't know anyone who's gotten broken up and didn't fuck a couple more times. [01:04:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:02] Speaker A: It's just not. Dude, you have to have. [01:04:05] Speaker B: It's kind of drunk text. She's drunk texting you. [01:04:08] Speaker A: You're like, all right, let's do it. And then you wake up. The hard part is, is not falling back into the relationship. A lot of people will do that, and they fall back in and they're like, back to square one. It's just, you have to go, we'll do this a couple times. And then, yeah, at some point it. [01:04:24] Speaker B: Has to end because, like, you know, it's not good for you either way. You know, I'm not really rooting for you either when we break up. [01:04:29] Speaker A: No. See, I have a different mentality. And this is maybe as getting older. I feel this where I really. I really hope I truly. And I know you're kidding. I'm sure I'm not really kidding. [01:04:39] Speaker B: Go ahead, Harrison. I want to hear your point. Maybe I'll change my mind here. [01:04:43] Speaker A: I think that no matter what you did, no matter, like, whether it was someone cheated or whatever, I go. I really do, like, hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, because clearly you don't even know what you're looking for if you've done bad things. [01:04:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I've been lucky. Most of my girlfriend. None of my girlfriends ever cheated on me. Besides one. One cheat on me with a rapper. And that was fair. [01:05:02] Speaker A: Famous one? [01:05:04] Speaker B: Not really. I forgot his name. [01:05:05] Speaker A: Okay, then that's some guy that just. [01:05:07] Speaker B: Moans into a mic. I don't know what he did. [01:05:08] Speaker A: Okay. [01:05:09] Speaker B: But he was. He was cute, so I understood it. But, like, that was like, I wasn't really dating. I was like, talking to for we were up. But this one was. I don't know. I just. I'm not. I don't know if I'm saying I'm rooting for you. Like, I'm just like, we break up. [01:05:23] Speaker A: Like, I don't want to die. [01:05:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:25] Speaker A: Yeah, good luck. I Don't. Yeah, I really. [01:05:26] Speaker B: I don't know if I care. Like, you know, I don't. Maybe that's a me thing. But like, if I'm breaking up with you, like some maybe. No, it depends on the girl. [01:05:36] Speaker A: It's a person to person basis. Some you have some where you go. I haven't thought about that person in a decade. And then there's some where you go. I think about them all the time because it was really lovely and I hope that they're doing well. [01:05:47] Speaker B: Yes. [01:05:47] Speaker A: And then there are some where you go. I don't think about you that often, but I. If you called me, I would always be super kind to you, you know. [01:05:53] Speaker B: Absolutely. That I. That, that. That's a better way of putting it. I would, I would buy that. Absolutely. Do you have any sibling at all? [01:05:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I got an older sister. [01:06:00] Speaker B: Do you? I have two younger brothers. [01:06:02] Speaker A: Oh, so you're all boys. [01:06:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:06:04] Speaker A: That's shocking to me because you, you seem really not girl energy, but you seem in touch with your emotions, which. [01:06:10] Speaker B: Everyone tells me I should. I'd be a good girl, dad. [01:06:12] Speaker A: That's what I've been told. [01:06:13] Speaker B: Everyone tells me that. And I'm in touch because I grew up with women. My mother and my aunt were like. That's all I hung out with. Like. Yeah, so I did have a lot of women. You know, maybe this. I don't know if maturity. Definitely not that mature. [01:06:26] Speaker A: You're emotionally mature, I would say. [01:06:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:28] Speaker B: I'm just trying to. Yeah. [01:06:29] Speaker A: You don't look like you treat women. You don't sound or talk like you treat women like shit. [01:06:33] Speaker B: I don't. [01:06:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:34] Speaker B: I try my best not to. [01:06:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:35] Speaker B: And again, maybe somebody right in the comment section. [01:06:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:39] Speaker A: Like, well, he fucked me and never called. [01:06:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I'm the king of. This is going to blow my spot. But I'm doing it because I love this pod. I'm the king of like setting up a date. This is some piece of shit. But this is like setting up a date on Hinge. [01:06:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:06:50] Speaker B: But yeah, I'll see you at 12, 8 o'. Clock. And just blocking her. Just not. I used to do that. I haven't done that recently. Yeah, but I. Because they're not real. They're on a screen. [01:07:00] Speaker A: I know it's, you know what I mean? So much easier to just. [01:07:02] Speaker B: That's a bad move. And I know it's a piece of shit. Even my piece of friends tell me it's a piece of move. And I am like, yeah, I gotta stop doing that. [01:07:09] Speaker A: That one's tough. [01:07:10] Speaker B: Sometimes I just forget to do it. I forget the dates going on or. [01:07:13] Speaker A: Like, sometimes, like, oh, and you don't even call them. [01:07:15] Speaker B: And you're like, only twice is when. Twice. It's still bad. Twice is when they literally showed up to the spot and I wasn't there. [01:07:22] Speaker A: See, that's what I. That's my thing. That's only twice. Oh, the other girls. [01:07:26] Speaker B: The other times are like, like, I'm like, I'm not going out with you. Block your number. [01:07:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:29] Speaker B: I mean, and that's just like. It's so stupid. Just say you're not gonna go out. Yeah, Like, I, I, I will block myself from getting laid. [01:07:35] Speaker A: So. Okay, so those two girls. [01:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:37] Speaker A: Did. How'd you find out? [01:07:39] Speaker B: Because my laptop still had their number. Because for some reason it's connected. I don't know how to. [01:07:43] Speaker A: So they text you and go, I'm here. Where are you? And you. Did you answer? [01:07:46] Speaker B: And I checked my laptop. No, because my phone was blocked here. My laptop's on. And I'm like. And I felt so bad. [01:07:51] Speaker A: That's, that's, that's up. [01:07:53] Speaker B: It's, that's up. It's. And it has. That. That's been a long time. [01:07:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:57] Speaker B: So, again, emotionally mature in some ways. Some ways I gotta figure the out. [01:08:00] Speaker A: Okay. But look, we're not all, you know, smelling of roses here. I've done horrible to, to people. [01:08:05] Speaker B: Oh, that's so bad. [01:08:06] Speaker A: I've done, I've done, I've did. I don't think I can talk about this because it's not really public knowledge. I can tell you off. [01:08:14] Speaker B: Good. Good answer. [01:08:15] Speaker A: How about this? I. I can give you a basic. I was talking to someone and I. They didn't live here. [01:08:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:23] Speaker A: And then I went out to go see them. We, we barely knew each other, but I went to go see them. I. And we hung out. Like, I was there for like a day. I was there for like 24 hours. [01:08:30] Speaker B: Hours. [01:08:30] Speaker A: And we hung out and we slept together. And then the morning after, I had not told her something. I wasn't in a relationship. [01:08:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Okay. I wasn't seeing anyone. I was single. But there was something that I should have mentioned. I didn't have any STDs either. That wasn't. It wasn't. [01:08:46] Speaker B: That was my next guess, but I feel like you wouldn't. [01:08:47] Speaker A: Yeah, no, no, I would. I would never tell any. I've had an STD before, but. [01:08:51] Speaker B: Good for you. [01:08:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's Part of grown up. It's. That's. Yeah, it's like smoking weed. [01:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta move on. [01:08:59] Speaker A: But I didn't tell her this one, this one detail about myself. And it's not a micro penis. It's not that. And it's not ejaculation. [01:09:09] Speaker B: Me neither. That one. No comment. [01:09:11] Speaker A: It was just something that she, that I. Any normal person would have mentioned and I didn't. And they were very upset and it was fucked up. And I wasn't trying to do it intentionally. I just figured I'll tell you in person. It really wasn't a make or break thing. [01:09:24] Speaker B: Okay. [01:09:25] Speaker A: But it was something you'd tell someone. [01:09:26] Speaker B: Got you. [01:09:27] Speaker A: I will say it when this is off because funny. For legal purposes. [01:09:32] Speaker B: Good answer. This is making me nervous. But I, you know, do you. Wait, hold on. I gotta put a zen. That's okay. [01:09:38] Speaker A: I, I. [01:09:39] Speaker B: There was a bit. Yeah, there was a bit. The guy was running on at, at Broadway. He was just ripping. All the Jersey kids was doing zins like. You guys know those ends in New York? [01:09:47] Speaker A: Everyone does zins here. [01:09:48] Speaker B: That's what I was saying. The guy was walking around like he was. [01:09:50] Speaker A: Did he keep a cigarette in his pot? [01:09:52] Speaker B: Like, like a lanky guy? Tall, lanky dude, beard, long guy. [01:09:58] Speaker A: I probably would know if I saw. [01:09:59] Speaker B: Yeah, everybody over here. Yeah, you're the circuits. Kind of like when you keep doing those three small. It's a small. [01:10:06] Speaker A: Little other clubs too, but there's maybe like a thousand comedian like realistically like that are doing it regularly in this area. Maybe a little more. [01:10:15] Speaker B: But like Eastville, Grizzly, Pear, Broadway. Broadway, bro, I'm pretty fucking funny, dude. There's a lot of people. [01:10:23] Speaker A: Dude, that's how you get better. New York. You're surrounding yourself with people who are fucking hysteric. [01:10:27] Speaker B: And also like, I feel good up there. I'm like, oh, this kid is bomb. Thank God. [01:10:30] Speaker A: No, I don't don't have that mentality. [01:10:32] Speaker B: Good. That makes me feel better. [01:10:32] Speaker A: That's, that's a. Not a that mentality. [01:10:35] Speaker B: It's not a team at. [01:10:36] Speaker A: It's, it's never. You never want to go up after a bomb because the room is, is now you have to work twice as hard. It's always better for you if the person kills you because they're primed. They're already smiling. They left in a good mood rather than going, oh boy, this guy sucked. I wonder what the next guy is. You think I. I know. I don't think. I know. [01:10:56] Speaker B: I buy you. I Buy. I trust your judgment. Trust your judgment on that. [01:10:59] Speaker A: You, obviously, you have to have good jokes at the beginning of anyone doing comedy. They always go, he bombed. Thank God. Okay. I won't be as bad as that. But you. You want to be as good as that, you know? [01:11:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:10] Speaker A: It's like, I want to perform just as good as that guy, and usually it's better for everybody. [01:11:15] Speaker B: Got you. You know, that makes sense. I. I remember going up against one of the girls at Broadway who does the Mexican bit. [01:11:21] Speaker A: Oh, she's comedian. [01:11:23] Speaker B: She's very good. [01:11:23] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Andrew. Andrea. [01:11:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:26] Speaker A: Mora, I think her name is. [01:11:27] Speaker B: She fucking crushed. [01:11:29] Speaker A: She's incredible. She's a killer. [01:11:30] Speaker B: She. I'm sitting there in the front like, oh, God. [01:11:33] Speaker A: Yeah, she's his Mexico or something. [01:11:34] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. She fucking. There was one bit, the one time she was, okay, this. It was the next one she crushed, bro. [01:11:40] Speaker A: She kills, dude. Anytime. I've seen. Every time I see. She's very funny person. [01:11:43] Speaker B: She is. She's got the accent going. It's got a good joke. The jokes hit. Well, she was very funny. And I remember sitting there going, oh, my God, I gotta go up after this. [01:11:51] Speaker A: Check up after her. Is tough because she has such a specific. [01:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah, here comes a white guy. [01:11:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I had to follow. No, I was supposed to follow. You know Mike Vecchion. You've seen him on Rogan before you. You've. [01:12:03] Speaker B: You. Oh, yeah, he's. [01:12:05] Speaker A: He was a school teacher. [01:12:07] Speaker B: Oh, I know. [01:12:07] Speaker A: I got doing it for 20 years. [01:12:08] Speaker B: Forgetting the face, but I know you're talking about. [01:12:10] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, He. You've seen. You know who he is. If I show you a picture. And I was supposed to follow him at Broadway and I didn't. And I went up before him and it was like a. Whatever set. And before I went up, I was like, I have to go up after Mike Vecchio and, oh, my God. Damn, this is. This is gonna be impossible. [01:12:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:12:26] Speaker A: And then I went up before him and I went, fuck, he's gonna have to go up after me. [01:12:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:12:30] Speaker A: I'm not gonna do a good job here. I know I'm not these people people, but I went up and I got off and he. He looked at me and he goes. And this is where I go. I needed this really badly because I was doing terrible at the time. And he goes. He goes, hey, man, that was. That was a good set. And I was like, thank God. Thank you. [01:12:46] Speaker B: The same thing to me. And I very. I love getting. I've gotten nothing. Every time I'VE done it. And again, I'm a baby in this, and I still want to keep doing it more and more. I said, I get booked more. It's just, you know, those comedians, like, I love when they come to, like, hey, great job. [01:13:00] Speaker A: It's important, dude. And I won't build you up someone if I don't actually. [01:13:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I. Hey, those things mean a world to me, and I gotten that from a few people before. And it's, you know, especially when I started doing, like, early. Like, I'm like, yes. My third time up here. Like, I tell them like, this is your third time up here. [01:13:17] Speaker A: I remember I had that reaction when you told me, like, I've only done this a handful of times. [01:13:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:13:21] Speaker A: I looked and I was like, are you really? [01:13:24] Speaker B: That was like. That was legitimately, like my fifth time going on stage. [01:13:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:13:27] Speaker B: And that was a small venue, but I like that air. I like that vibe in there. [01:13:30] Speaker A: It's a cool vibe. It's a cool vibe. It's a fun club. I wish they served alcohol, but, yeah, yeah, it's hard. [01:13:36] Speaker B: Word. It's just, you know, that's. But that was a great. That was. I still watch that set. I post that set online all the time. [01:13:42] Speaker A: Dude, it's. It was, it was a really good. I'm telling you, I was watching because I watch everybody. I want to see if there's, you know, you never know who's gonna. You know, who's gonna be there, who's gonna be funny. [01:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with you. [01:13:53] Speaker A: And I just. I want to give the respect. I remember when I first started, I did it a couple times, and then a couple years went by and I didn't touch it again. And then I went full speed ahead. But when I first started it, people were not nice. They were not very nice, and I sucked, which is like, you know, you're good when people want to be friends with you. That's how you know you're funny. Like, that's. [01:14:11] Speaker B: That's good to know, which is. [01:14:12] Speaker A: That's important. But no one was really nice. Everyone just had this standoff mentality. And I created with my buddy Joe Gerbo, Shout Out Joe, and a couple other people, Cam Bird and Eli Moroney. [01:14:27] Speaker C: We. [01:14:28] Speaker A: We kind of created a nicely unit. And now we have, like, there's a huge group of us that are really supportive, like, really, really. And if there's a new guy who comes in, like, we go. They're like, it's my first time. We're like, yeah, yo, let's Keep going. Do it like. And they're like. If they start fumbling on stage, like, keep going. Like, you got this. Don't worry. [01:14:43] Speaker B: That's a great mentality. Every time I'm on, every time I do know Mike, I'm down every set, I'm like, trying to dap everybody up. [01:14:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:14:49] Speaker B: Hey, we're in. Like, it's because at the end of the day, you're in this together. You're. You're trying to make it, or you're just trying to. [01:14:53] Speaker A: More fun that way. [01:14:54] Speaker B: Yes. You're building each other up. When I do that in coaching. Build each other up. [01:14:58] Speaker A: You need to. [01:14:58] Speaker B: You have to. [01:14:59] Speaker A: And there are guys who don't want to, and you could feel it, and you go, all right, well, fuck that guy. He's miserable. [01:15:02] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, like. But why even have that mentality? We're all up there fucking shit in our pants anyway. You're also in your heart at 190. [01:15:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:15:09] Speaker B: You know, I mean, you get in that rush. [01:15:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:15:11] Speaker B: Right. It's good to have some motive, like, some positive information, just. [01:15:15] Speaker A: And knowing, like. Like knowing when your boys there, or like, let's say you're on the same show as someone that you're really tight with, you knowing that they're there, it's like, all right, no matter what. I know I got an ally here. [01:15:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:15:24] Speaker A: And you hope with comics you don't know, you'd still have that. Which, when I went to Hanover, dude. [01:15:28] Speaker B: They would love that set. Yeah. You love that. They're. [01:15:30] Speaker A: Dude, 20 minutes of kill. I just fucking killed. [01:15:33] Speaker B: That's 20 minutes. That's awesome. [01:15:35] Speaker A: It was. [01:15:35] Speaker B: 20 minutes is impressive. [01:15:36] Speaker A: It was. Dude, I was shocked. I. I could have gone for 30. [01:15:39] Speaker B: That's awesome. [01:15:40] Speaker A: And it was. The people there were just like, dude, yo, that was great. [01:15:45] Speaker B: They're not used to that, bro. They're in the States, so. [01:15:47] Speaker A: Yeah, they're in the middle. [01:15:47] Speaker B: They're in the stick. They're in the sticks. So you're sitting there and you're funny, and you're like. At the New York thing going on. They. They're. They were interested. You're an interesting guy. [01:15:55] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:15:55] Speaker B: In general. But for them, they're like. [01:15:57] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. They're like, what is this? Oh, yeah. New York City. Yeah. What's going on? Which is also a lot of fucking. And look, you're basically from New York City. Also. Jersey is an extension. [01:16:07] Speaker B: Yes. [01:16:07] Speaker A: Which any New Yorker, whoever hears that. [01:16:09] Speaker B: It'S going to kill. I love. Listen, I love New York City, and I I don't go here nearly enough. Besides, I only come here legitimately. [01:16:16] Speaker A: I think I'm going to start going to Jersey. I want to please do bro and. [01:16:19] Speaker B: They do a good job. First of all, first of all, north northern New Jersey, which is the only. New Jersey is the best. New Jersey is. We are criminally underrated as a state. [01:16:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:16:28] Speaker B: I want to point that out. People on us. [01:16:30] Speaker A: It's a beautiful state. [01:16:31] Speaker B: It makes no sense why we get on compared to the rest of states in the union that we got to deal with. You're going to. On Jersey. Jersey's got. First of all, we're. I'm 10 minutes away from the best city in the world. [01:16:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:16:40] Speaker B: It's. It's at the end of the day and then you can go down to Philly, but like you can still go. You can still like. It's just. You got everything you need in New Jersey. [01:16:47] Speaker A: It's also I think got some of the. It's like the most farmland. [01:16:50] Speaker C: Like. [01:16:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:16:50] Speaker A: In. [01:16:51] Speaker B: In the like that's. That's all central PA but like Central Jersey. But you got everything you need. It's like, it's like I like New Jersey. [01:16:59] Speaker A: I do. I. I love I on it all the time. Because it's just what I do. [01:17:01] Speaker B: It's easy. It's good for New York. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. It's just it. Listen, we're. We're easy to be poked fun of just because. On the stereotypes and our personalities. [01:17:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:17:10] Speaker B: And I'm not helping the stereotype of Italian Jersey guy on here tonight, but it, you know, we're, we have a. We're a funny group. It's a funny state. People. We're angry but like we can chuck. We can chuck it up with a lot of people. [01:17:22] Speaker A: I think there's a, A. I like blue collar states and that's what Jersey and Pennsylvania. Well, let's say. I'm going to say Philly because you can't. [01:17:32] Speaker B: Pennsyltucky. [01:17:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:17:33] Speaker B: And I love. Again, I'm in Gettysburg. Adams County. No one goes there. It's. But like it's just Pennsylvania is like legitimately three. Two places. Three places. [01:17:41] Speaker C: It is. Yeah. [01:17:42] Speaker A: So I mean Philadelphia is what. I mean, that's a blue collar city. [01:17:45] Speaker B: Yes, it is. [01:17:45] Speaker A: Jersey's a blue collar state. I think New York. Some of it. I'll say maybe Bergen County. [01:17:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. [01:17:52] Speaker A: Bern county is a blue collar. [01:17:53] Speaker B: Well thing with Burn county is it's so diverse. So like Northern Bergen, near New Rochelle, Rochester, Westchester. That's very wealthy it's very wealthy, very white, very wealthy. My area is Southern Bergen county, so it's. It's incredibly diverse. I'm 10 minutes away from Newark. [01:18:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:18:11] Speaker B: You know, I'm right next to Patterson. It's just like. [01:18:13] Speaker A: Patterson's rough. [01:18:14] Speaker B: Yeah. You're getting. You just get it, but you get that. Like, a lot of kids, I teach it from there, you know? So I. I get. It's a. That's why I like my school, because it's diverse. [01:18:22] Speaker C: You. [01:18:23] Speaker B: It makes you grow up and learn about different cultures, you know? And. And that area teaches you that, and it teaches you how to adapt to different people. [01:18:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [01:18:30] Speaker B: I think that helps you in the long run as a person, like, how to be able to talk to people. [01:18:33] Speaker A: I think so. I think so. That's. That's the. And that's why I like areas like that, where it is diverse. That's why. I mean, New York City is the most diverse. I think this is the most languages are spoken here and anywhere in the world. [01:18:45] Speaker B: Easily. Easily. [01:18:47] Speaker A: It makes you. [01:18:49] Speaker B: And also, it's just like, I'm political. I went to school for politics. So, like, it's a good. It's a plot. I was working in Jersey City on campaigns this year. You know, I do a bunch of shit, but, like, in New York, it's, like, such a hotbed for political shit right now, you know? [01:19:02] Speaker A: Dude, I can't. [01:19:03] Speaker B: Everyone's like, you're voting for Cuomo. Like, would you vote for Cuomo? I'm like, because I'm Italian. [01:19:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:07] Speaker B: I'm like, fuck that guy. [01:19:10] Speaker A: You want to know something? Yeah, I would vote for Cuomo. [01:19:12] Speaker C: Crazy. [01:19:13] Speaker B: You're crazy. We got to talk on camera. No fucking way. [01:19:17] Speaker A: I'm not voting for fucking Zoron. [01:19:19] Speaker B: You're crazy. [01:19:19] Speaker A: No way. [01:19:20] Speaker B: Love that guy. [01:19:21] Speaker A: Fuck that guy. I think he's a communist. [01:19:23] Speaker B: Oh, that's why. Yeah, well, that's why I like him. But, no, that's. No, I don't think he is. I. Listen, I just think we need. It's about. You know, again, it's a Jersey guy talking about New York City. I probably shouldn't be having an opinion on affordability. [01:19:35] Speaker A: You can have it. I think you should. Everyone should have it, you know? [01:19:37] Speaker B: But the affordability. Cris is everywhere. Yeah, it's everywhere. [01:19:40] Speaker A: It's the whole country, dude. [01:19:41] Speaker B: It's. It's. It's a. It's every. Like, especially where I live. Hoboken. [01:19:44] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Yeah. 100. Hoboken was different, man. Not even 10 years ago, dude. [01:19:49] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just like, everything's so expensive, and I think he's had. Cuomo's obviously just in there for himself, and that's the least about. That's the least bad thing about him. [01:19:57] Speaker A: Here's my thing about. About Zuron is that Cuomo's in there for himself. I know that. I'm aware of that. He's a politician. [01:20:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:05] Speaker A: If anyone thinks that Zorhan or anyone who wants to be a politician is not there for themselves on some level, I think you'd have. You're making a mistake of thinking, no, he's just a good person. I. And maybe he is, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm. I'm very skeptical of anybody who wants to be a politician. [01:20:22] Speaker B: I get you. [01:20:22] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? [01:20:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:23] Speaker A: Which is why Trump got in, because people were like, he's not a politician, but he's also in it for himself. You know, it's another 100. [01:20:29] Speaker B: So, again, I don't know how to ride a bike. I'm shitting. I only. I've. I have studied, learned about the history of every president. [01:20:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:20:39] Speaker B: Since I was five years old. [01:20:40] Speaker A: Okay. [01:20:41] Speaker B: So I'm political. I'm politically nuts. [01:20:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:20:43] Speaker B: So I know, like. [01:20:44] Speaker A: So you know your shit. [01:20:45] Speaker B: I. Here's my thing. It's so stupid to know this shit because everyone has an opinion on politics, which they should. That's. That's called America. [01:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:20:51] Speaker B: But, like, I don't tell a roofer how to fix a shingle, you know? I mean, like, I have two degrees in this shit, and I constantly. This is not you. This is me ranting in general about life. And I'm sitting there, it's like, yeah, this guy sucks because of this, this, and that. And I'm like, dude. And like. And then, like. Like, I got to tell you how to, like, how I feel. And, like, I actually have shit to back it up. And then this guy's like, no, he sucks. Okay. Sounds good. You know, I mean, like, my thing is with Zoron is could he suck? Absolutely. [01:21:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:14] Speaker B: A lot of people let me down. [01:21:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:15] Speaker B: Fucking Fetterman let me down in pa. A lot of motherfuckers let me down in terms of my beliefs and the shit they would say. And they completely went back on it. [01:21:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:22] Speaker B: At the end of the day, it's always going to be, what donors do they have? Do they. What is their corporate donors. [01:21:29] Speaker A: Okay. [01:21:29] Speaker B: At the end of the day, that's all it matters. They can say whatever the fuck they want. What Money. Do you take. [01:21:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:35] Speaker B: Do you take money? That's what, that's the, that's how you get elected at the end of the day is because that money drives campaign fundraisers, that drives how many volunteers you can have, that drives your staff. So at the end of the day, you can't. If you are counting on a certain, certain factions of groups, people, one person that's going to dictate your policy. [01:21:56] Speaker A: Okay. [01:21:57] Speaker B: That's how it is. And Cuomo is, is, is bought and paid for by every big landlord company. There is. Black water. Yeah. And there's multiple things he is. But that's every politician. So I'm not just shitting on what situation going on here. [01:22:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:11] Speaker B: And Zorin right now is showing me that he's not doing that. And you know, again, I'm, I'm definitely a lefty. I would describe myself as definitely more on the left. I just believe that, you know, it's corporate money. [01:22:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:23] Speaker B: That's the reason why our politics and our fucking situation we're in is a complete fucking shit show. [01:22:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:28] Speaker B: It's because they're bought and paid for by numerous. It's either the gun lobby for the Republicans, for the Democrats, it's another group of things. It's. That's why the two party system is a disaster. [01:22:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:22:36] Speaker B: Because they're both bought and sold by the different corporations. That's how it is. I vote for Democrats. I hate it. Like, for example, like Mickey Sherrill is running for governor in Jersey. [01:22:46] Speaker A: Okay. [01:22:46] Speaker B: Yeah. It's the governor race in November. It's. I can't stand her. [01:22:52] Speaker A: Okay. [01:22:52] Speaker B: She's Democrat. I'm not voting for her. I'm not going for the Republican either. I'm just not gonna vote for it. It's the first time in my life I'm not voting for a Democrat because I'm. Now I'm just fed up. [01:22:58] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [01:22:59] Speaker B: Because I've grew up in so many shitty Democrats that I voted for in my life. Sick of voting. [01:23:03] Speaker A: Well, that's what happens a lot of time where like I, I was, I'm. I'm registered Democrat, but I don't, I don't go that direction anymore like at all. But it's certain issues I believe in. Abortion, you know, I believe in. And I say this all the time, but at the end of the day, they, they both suck. Like, that's just my, my whole, my whole feeling is they listen. [01:23:23] Speaker B: They definitely both suck. One is definitely worse than the other, in my opinion. This is my. [01:23:28] Speaker A: And that's valid. That's. And here's the thing. What I appreciate about you is. And. And this is. I. I'm not educated on any of this at all. You're educated on. And that's why I'm listening. I go, all right, he knows. [01:23:38] Speaker B: Listen. I appreciate you listen. And again, it's just. This is just my opinion. Having a talk about politics on a comedy podcast is my fault. [01:23:44] Speaker A: No, no. We were talking about Charlie Kirk on the last one. Oh, that came out today? [01:23:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:23:50] Speaker B: Oh, God, that's brutal. But, like, yeah, I have Republican friends, like, very close. They're my best friends. You know, at the end of the day. [01:23:56] Speaker A: See, that's the part that I appreciate. I don't love. I don't like when people go, your politics different from mine. We can't associate where it's like, dude, I took a bullet for you 10 years ago. You don't remember that? What do we. What. What are we talking about? [01:24:08] Speaker B: It's how you meet them. So if I grew up. If I grew up with you. [01:24:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:12] Speaker B: And you happen to be conservative, and you grew up conservative. [01:24:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:15] Speaker B: I'm not going to hate your guts. [01:24:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:16] Speaker B: That's how you grew up. That's how you feel. It's America. I'm never going to judge you for that. Now, if you want to talk politics with me. Yeah. It might get a little heated with you. [01:24:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:23] Speaker B: You're definitely going to hear it from me. But we don't need to discuss that, because I love you for who you are. [01:24:27] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:24:27] Speaker B: At the end of the day. [01:24:28] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:24:28] Speaker B: So I have multiple friends that are Republicans. I have some that are liberals, you know. [01:24:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:32] Speaker B: You know, I have to, or else I'll fucking lose it. But, like, you know, you know, I have family members that are all you can imagine. [01:24:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I figured. [01:24:40] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, so, you know, you go. You roll with it. Some people just, you know. But some people. Off the deep end, bro. [01:24:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:24:46] Speaker A: Dude. People just go, well, this is two. [01:24:49] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I call them two. What's it called to NFG is Too Far Gone. [01:24:53] Speaker A: Too far. It makes sense. [01:24:55] Speaker B: You can't even. [01:24:55] Speaker A: On both sides, man. It's. There are people who just go. You go, wow, you are living so far out of reality. [01:25:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:25:02] Speaker A: And I live in my reality, which is I'll look at the situation. And I go, all right, I see that, and I see that. I have my opinion, but my opinion can change minute to minute based on information. [01:25:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:25:16] Speaker A: And I think that that's a normal way to live. [01:25:17] Speaker B: I think it's Mine is absolutely. You know, that's. You know. And I come from a very political family. My parents weren't political, but my. I became political. My brother's going to school for the same shit. [01:25:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:25:30] Speaker B: My younger brother is a senior now. He's gonna go, like, we're all politically involved. We all work on campaigns and stuff like that. So, like, it's. It's our life, you know? I mean, like, I have a podcast. Not no microphone. It's just me and my brother sitting there talking about politics in my room for two hours a day. [01:25:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:25:43] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And it's just. It's a. You know, it's. I just think people should give a shit more in a little bit, you know, not to not. It shouldn't focus your whole life, because it doesn't focus on my life. I'm doing a bunch of different shit, you know, you can't. Or else you just lose it. [01:25:56] Speaker A: You'll lose your mind. [01:25:56] Speaker B: You'll lose your mind, you know, I mean, I got gray hair. I'm 27. [01:25:59] Speaker A: I got gray hair. [01:26:00] Speaker B: Dude, you're sexy and I'm fat. [01:26:01] Speaker A: Shut the up, dude. I'm saying you're a handsome fellow. What are you talking about, dude? [01:26:05] Speaker B: I just got a haircut for this pod. Dude, I'm not that good. [01:26:07] Speaker A: I gotta get a haircut later, actually. I'm doing that. [01:26:09] Speaker B: Do you. You always have the good flow, though. [01:26:11] Speaker A: My is getting crazy in the hairline. [01:26:13] Speaker B: Look at that hairline. [01:26:14] Speaker A: It's not bad. [01:26:15] Speaker B: Look at. Dude, I got. I got the widow's peak. It's. [01:26:17] Speaker A: That's all right. [01:26:18] Speaker B: Miserable, bro. Dude, terrible. That's topic from getting laid, but it will eventually. [01:26:23] Speaker A: You have hair, bro. You know, he fucking. Men want hair. You have. [01:26:27] Speaker B: That's one thing I would do. I would. If I had to get cosmetic surgery, it'd be go to Turkey and get my hairline. [01:26:31] Speaker A: Oh, dude, if I lose my hair, that's the first place I'm going. I'm like, yo, if I could cure not being bald, I'm not gonna be bold. [01:26:36] Speaker B: I wouldn't change these chicken strips. I have my. On the side of my head. But I would change my hairline, bro. [01:26:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I would. 100%. That was when I was growing up. My. I. I always had really good hair. I still do, but I. My thing was, if I ever go bald, I'll fucking kill myself. Same thing, dude. I'll fucking kill myself. [01:26:52] Speaker B: Same exact thing. [01:26:53] Speaker A: Whereas now you got turkey. I go, all right. If I go bold, I'm just Gonna go. [01:26:56] Speaker B: I have a. I have a theory on baldness. [01:26:58] Speaker A: What's that? [01:26:58] Speaker B: I think everyone that's bald, their head makes sense for it. [01:27:02] Speaker A: Yes. And my head, I don't think would make sense for that. [01:27:05] Speaker B: With these ears, bro. I look like Inspector Gadget. I can't be gold. I can't go bald. [01:27:08] Speaker A: You have to go to Turkey. [01:27:09] Speaker B: I have to go to Turkey. [01:27:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:27:10] Speaker B: You know, but I think most of the time and none of my family's bald, so, like, then you're fine, dude. That's what I think. [01:27:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:27:15] Speaker A: The hairlines always recede a little bit. My went back a little bit. [01:27:19] Speaker B: Yours is perfection, dude. Let's fucking going a little bit in here. I always love. I love. I love saying gay when I don't mean it. [01:27:32] Speaker A: That's. I do. [01:27:32] Speaker B: Many times I have a bald. My. One of my closest friends at work, you know, many times go his bald head and just. I just do the gayest in front of him and he's just like, get off, man. [01:27:42] Speaker A: I'm like, no, that's a normal thing to do. [01:27:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:27:45] Speaker B: When you're so close with a guy, it's funny. [01:27:47] Speaker A: Anyone who doesn't do that, you're not actually friends. [01:27:49] Speaker B: I think people that are super homophobic, like, no matter. Anything could be gay. I think you're. I think you might be a little gay. [01:27:55] Speaker A: And I don't think I tell my. [01:27:56] Speaker B: Students that all the time. Like, one girl told this kid, like, I wish you were gay. [01:28:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:00] Speaker B: Like, just be like, I wish you'd be a good gay friend. [01:28:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:02] Speaker B: And he's like, the. That's. He's like. And I'm like. Like, one guy was like talking. Something was like, he's like asking about his clothes. He goes, yo, it's gay to ask about another man's clothes. I'm like, george, shut the fuck up, dude. I go. I go, you know what it means? You get a little nervous. [01:28:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:18] Speaker A: And it's like, yo, if you. If you're dressed nice, you'll realize when you're 25, that actually is a good thing. [01:28:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:28:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:24] Speaker B: My clothes is. This ain't it. But like, when I go out, I've changed my whole outfit. [01:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah, you want? [01:28:29] Speaker B: I wear the dumbest shit. My kids still make fun of me for the outfits I wear. [01:28:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:32] Speaker B: I don't give a fuck. And I have like three different colors on. [01:28:34] Speaker A: That's fine. [01:28:35] Speaker B: And the girls just roast me for kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't give a. Yeah. But like. But like, anything, anything, anything could Be considered gay to high school kids. [01:28:43] Speaker A: 100. [01:28:43] Speaker B: Gayness to high school kids is like Armageddon with. [01:28:46] Speaker A: But I grew up. It was like, you. You always did gay with, like, not gay, but, like, you would do. Make gay jokes with your friends. [01:28:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:28:52] Speaker A: Someone called you gay. I never cared about someone calling me gay growing up. [01:28:56] Speaker B: It's also a super. I think it's also a super Caucasian thing. I don't. [01:28:59] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:28:59] Speaker A: Black dudes are not. [01:29:00] Speaker B: Black guys. Don't be doing that. [01:29:02] Speaker A: That is. That is a very white thing. [01:29:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:29:06] Speaker A: Black. [01:29:06] Speaker B: If I can't. I can't go to my black friends and just, like, try to caress them. Like, fuck off me. Which is fair. [01:29:13] Speaker A: No, that's fair. I get it. But with the friends you grew up with, you know, it's. If you're accustomed to that for some reason. [01:29:19] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. I think we're whites. We just do the gay shit. [01:29:22] Speaker A: We're just inherently a little gayer. No big deal. What are you gonna do? All right. [01:29:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess so. I don't know what that is. [01:29:28] Speaker A: The fuck is the big deal? I don't know. I might. I grew up with a dad who was like, if I found out you were gay, you know what I'd. Did I do nothing? He goes, I'd be. I tell you to be happy. [01:29:35] Speaker B: Yeah. So my parents are the same way. [01:29:37] Speaker A: Very comfortable. Very comfortable. Scanning. I. You have to know. Wait, so what did you say? [01:29:41] Speaker B: My mom wish we were gay. [01:29:43] Speaker A: Oh, that doesn't. [01:29:43] Speaker B: She's surrounded by guys. [01:29:45] Speaker A: Yeah. She's got a football team in her house. She's like. She was like, can one of you be, like, a dancer? Yeah. [01:29:50] Speaker B: She's like, can one of you, like, just read? [01:29:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:29:52] Speaker B: Like, can one of you do, like, pick up English? Really? Like, I did. [01:29:55] Speaker A: Like, my son goes to Gettysburg. He may be. [01:29:57] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [01:29:58] Speaker B: I'm trying. It's not working. He's somehow straight and loves it. How are you straight and dress up in union outfits? Like, what are you doing? [01:30:05] Speaker A: He's got tons of women friends. [01:30:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she makes fun of me and my bald friend all the time about how gay we are. [01:30:11] Speaker A: That's all right. [01:30:11] Speaker B: It's. It's. It's just how it is, man. It's just. It's. [01:30:14] Speaker A: It's normal. [01:30:15] Speaker B: The Gettysburg shit's so fucking funny. [01:30:17] Speaker A: It's always been funny. By the way, what time do you have? By the way? [01:30:20] Speaker B: Definitely. It's 1:45. [01:30:22] Speaker A: I got to get out. [01:30:22] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. [01:30:23] Speaker A: All right. Dude. This is a fucking pleasure. [01:30:25] Speaker B: You're the best. [01:30:26] Speaker A: Thank you for coming. [01:30:26] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. [01:30:27] Speaker A: A lot of fun. [01:30:28] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:30:29] Speaker A: And we'll do it again. We got to chill. I'm down. [01:30:32] Speaker B: Chill. Absolutely. I'll be back, back and forth, whenever you need. Yeah, absolutely. [01:30:36] Speaker A: All right. You want to. You want to give socials? [01:30:38] Speaker B: Just tick tock, coach London, comedy, everything else you'll see on him, and then I'll post it myself. But thank you, guys for watching. You do a great job. You're killing it, and I appreciate you. [01:30:47] Speaker A: You're the fucking man. [01:30:47] Speaker B: You're the man. Yes. [01:30:48] Speaker A: Thank you, guys. Later. [01:30:49] Speaker B: Thank you. [01:30:54] Speaker A: Sa.