# 27 - JC Devito: A Fish Out Of Water

Episode 27 • October 18, 2025 • 01:01:15
# 27 - JC Devito: A Fish Out Of Water
Chaos & Clarity with Harrison Marx
# 27 - JC Devito: A Fish Out Of Water

Oct 18 2025 | 01:01:15

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Show Notes

JC Devito (aka Joe) rolled through this week, he is a NYC comic and very good friend of mine from Long Island. We sat down and spoke about South Park, the stigma of Manhattan being from Long Island, has NYC gotten safer or more dangerous over the years, doing comedy in small towns versus big cities, judging audiences before getting on stage, growing up in Long Island, how he got into comedy, funny complainers vs annoying complainers, being angry on stage, women altering their bodies, dealing with weight issues throughout life, abusing caffeine every day, the craziness of your 20s, the paranoia that can come with weed and how strong its become too strong, The Orwells being a phenomenal band that lost it, being a cool woman  is as important as looks, being less picky with age, Diddy going to jail, being happy and steps to taking care of your body and mind.

He has a show he's producing coming up on November 21, 2025 at Burton SOHO 69 Greene St NYC 7 PM

JC's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeauxdevito?igsh=ZzltOXNuczEzcDl5

 

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:06] Speaker A: All right, we're back. We got Joe DeVito. He's a comic. He's one of my favorite dudes. He's. Let's fuck right now. [00:00:15] Speaker B: This dude just want to like, touch. [00:00:18] Speaker A: You, dude, get over here. [00:00:20] Speaker B: Just want to like, kiss you and like, whatever. [00:00:22] Speaker A: You look. [00:00:22] Speaker B: Fucking plant one on you. [00:00:24] Speaker A: I'm just. I'm going to take one of those macaroons that you brought me and eat it out of your ass right now. Fucking unbelievable. [00:00:29] Speaker B: You'll lose it in there. [00:00:32] Speaker A: I'll get lost in that. [00:00:33] Speaker B: I would swallow you. Like a suppository. Just go right up. [00:00:39] Speaker A: I've never thought of that. That's a perfect representation for my dick. This is just a suppository, sweetie. You'll be fine. [00:00:45] Speaker B: You ever see South park when Mr. Slave and Paris Hilton have a slut off? [00:00:49] Speaker A: No, I don't know South Park. [00:00:51] Speaker B: I grew up on South Park. But Mr. Slave is Mr. Garrison's gay boyfriend. [00:00:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:00:57] Speaker B: And Paris Hilton comes to town. He's like, we're having a slut off, sweetie. And he. And he jumps in the air and engulfs her in his and wins the. The slut off by literally swallowing her up his ass. [00:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah, he's. I, I, I know that character well, but I wish I was more in tune with South Park. I appreciate it, cuz I. It's a smart show, dude. It's like, it's a very smart show. As, as insane as it is. [00:01:18] Speaker B: So you strike me as someone who knows every episode. [00:01:20] Speaker A: Yeah, crazy. [00:01:21] Speaker B: I cuz you know what? [00:01:23] Speaker A: I watched Family Guy. [00:01:24] Speaker B: Yeah? Yeah. I was a big Family Guy kid too. You know, south park literally raised me. [00:01:29] Speaker A: I mean, it raised. [00:01:30] Speaker B: Surprised you didn't watch it. That's crazy. [00:01:32] Speaker A: I'm not surprised that it raised you, dude. That's, that's. Yeah. I mean, you're from Long island, you know, you being from Long island, we should just jump right into it. How do you feel about black people? [00:01:42] Speaker B: My area does not have many, which is crazy. [00:01:46] Speaker A: What part are you from? [00:01:46] Speaker B: Oceanside. Very Jewish. Very Italian. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Italian. I know. That's where Justin's from. [00:01:50] Speaker B: So a lot of. A lot of black people. Italians. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Italians are black. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Yeah, the same thing. This is already off to exactly how I was gonna. I knew. I'm like, this is gonna be a good one. [00:02:00] Speaker B: Italians are black. [00:02:01] Speaker A: We're not talking about politics, dude. [00:02:04] Speaker B: My grandpa is so dark. He died like two, three years ago, but he was so dark that, like, growing up, I thought he was Native American. [00:02:11] Speaker A: Really? [00:02:12] Speaker B: Because we did the Pilgrims and Indians in school. And I was like, oh. Like, that's my family. I was like, we look like that. Like, we're dark as with humongous noses and we all have our hair. So I was like, all right. We're literally Indian. [00:02:24] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing with Jews and Italians. Jews have big noses and a lot of hair also. [00:02:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Yup. [00:02:28] Speaker A: And that's. That's like, you could mistake it. I mean, I know Italians would hate to be mistaken for Jews, but. [00:02:33] Speaker B: No, they would love it. They'd be like, I got good credit. No, I did good in life. [00:02:38] Speaker A: No, Italians do. Well, dude, they came here and built this country. [00:02:41] Speaker B: They did, Yeah. I don't like Italians, though. I don't like. I don't like my own kind. [00:02:46] Speaker A: I grew up around. I mean, not. I grew up around Russians, but I also. My uncle knows so many Italians. And. Yeah, it's. [00:02:53] Speaker B: I don't know, I feel like Italians are very, like, shallow and materialistic. [00:03:00] Speaker A: Most people are. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Yeah. But like, I know kids who inherited a masonry business. [00:03:06] Speaker A: What the fuck is that? [00:03:06] Speaker B: Like, bricklaying. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [00:03:08] Speaker B: And they're on Instagram acting like the world's most prolific self made millionaire. [00:03:13] Speaker A: Okay, Acting like that is a little ridiculous, but. But building shit is cool. [00:03:17] Speaker B: It is. But they just like smoke Newports in the truck while Mexicans do it. You know what I'm saying? [00:03:22] Speaker A: Like the American dream. [00:03:24] Speaker B: What? It's funny because Italians used to be the laborers. I know. They're the. Now they're the no show foremans. [00:03:32] Speaker A: The no shows. That is the most brilliant thing, the no show job is to get paid and not show. I mean, that's, that's. Yeah, they. That is the original work from home. [00:03:43] Speaker B: This is the work from home culture. It truly is now. It's like retarded liberal women who are like, I just need like a Disney vacation at home job right now. [00:03:52] Speaker A: A Disney. Dude, those people scare the Disney adults. Yeah. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Oh, I know. It's like Jesus Christ. Like horrific, ugly, dumb, poor taste. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Your border. You're bordering pedophilia. [00:04:06] Speaker B: Low key. Kind of spiritually, you are a pedophile. [00:04:09] Speaker A: That. That's your spirit animal. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Like, you may not be attracted to children, but it's there. [00:04:15] Speaker A: It's something in you. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Something's in you. [00:04:17] Speaker A: You're into that. What's that fucking shit? The diaper play. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Oh, God. I've seen this kid on TikTok break down like, the, like, what diaper play is? And I was just like, oh, my God, it felt like I was watching a horror movie. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Dude. It's. It's just. It's really disturbing. Like, you want to fuck guys you want to fuck. You know, you want to do this. That. Even dressing up like an animal, I can understand. That furry shit, I can get to a certain extent. But to walk around in a diaper, that's fucking disgusting. [00:04:45] Speaker B: You know, one time me and my family, we went to Boston and we went to the Prudential Center. Me and my brother split off from my parents and I forgot we were going for. We're going, like, there's a big Barnes and Noble in the Prudential Center. We're going to go pick up some books. And there was like an anime convention there. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:02] Speaker B: That we didn't know about. Yeah. [00:05:04] Speaker A: And. [00:05:04] Speaker B: And we watched with our own eyes. An FBI bust at the anime convention for pedophilia. I'm guessing it has to be. It has to be like, what? You know. [00:05:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:13] Speaker B: They're not running like a heroin ring in the anime convention. It's got to be pedophile. [00:05:17] Speaker A: Like, that's a. I have a. I had a. A thing. I've been. Theory. I've had not a theory, but like an idea. I was taking the train the other day, and, you know, the. The. The Mexicans. The Mexican kids that hand out the candy, they're trying to, like, get money from it. [00:05:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, Candies. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Growing up, you're taught as. You don't take candy from strangers. And I'm sitting here and now kids are offering me candy. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Dude, it's the fucking flip flop. [00:05:40] Speaker A: It's weird, dude. I'm like, do I take this candy? And. And you know what I mean? Like, I feel strange. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Like, God knows I could always go for a Kit Kat, but under those circumstances, I think you said a kid Kat. [00:05:53] Speaker A: I was like, oh, oh, okay. You want a little black boy cat? [00:05:58] Speaker B: What's up, Cat? No, it's weird. Like, the ladies on the train, like, they'll be like, skittle, skittle, skittle. And then you turn around and there's a baby, like, strapped to their back. And you know who it looks like? [00:06:12] Speaker A: You ever seen Men in Black too? [00:06:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Johnny Knoxville. And he's got that extra. [00:06:17] Speaker B: It's literally a hematoma zygote on the back of their back. It's the weirdest I've ever seen. [00:06:22] Speaker A: It's very odd. [00:06:23] Speaker B: How new is that? [00:06:24] Speaker A: Pretty new, I think. I don't. Growing up, I didn't see kids, Mexican kids selling candy. I saw the. The black kids trying to raise money for their team. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah. For Their. Yeah, dude. [00:06:33] Speaker A: There was a fucking dude outside the 711 over here. Must have been 55. And he was. He literally right before I walked by him, he spits. And then he looks at me, goes, hey, you want to give me $5 for my basketball team? And I look at him, I go, basketball team, dude? I mean, maybe for your Suboxone clinic. Okay. But I'm like, you're fucking 50, dude. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Right, dude. My great grand nephew. Basketball team. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, I'm not giving you money. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Could be in 10th grade, though. Realistically, he. He could be. He could be like 10th grade educated. [00:07:07] Speaker A: He just never. [00:07:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm a super duper duper, duper senior. He could. Realistically, he could be like taking AP. [00:07:14] Speaker A: Lit or he could be a substitute teacher trying to be a good guy. [00:07:19] Speaker B: That is so. God. Because I remember, like, from Long island. Like, we were. The city is weird because there were year stretches where I never stepped into Manhattan, which is crazy. [00:07:31] Speaker A: I've heard that about a lot of Long Islanders. [00:07:32] Speaker B: Like, a lot. Like, it's. I really have no excuse because I grew up so close to Queens. I'm not deep on Long Island. [00:07:38] Speaker A: The ocean side's not far. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm not like, hick Long Island. I'm like, fucking like, this neighborhood kind of looks like mine. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:45] Speaker B: You know, it's residential, but like, on the weekends we would get drunk on the lirr and come in and rarely took the subway. But whenever we did, there was like, no candy people and shit like that. [00:07:57] Speaker A: Like, never. But, you know, I. My family. My mom grew up in Long Island. Yeah. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:02] Speaker A: And my uncle and them. And my uncle told me, like, not into. Well, well into his 20s. Did he start to go into New York? And he said when I did, even though. And he. They grew up in Freeport, which is not that far. [00:08:12] Speaker B: Very close. [00:08:13] Speaker A: And he was like. It was. He's like, I was scared. I was nervous. He goes, this is like a different world. And I feel like when you're that close to the city, it almost deter. Like, being further away. Make like, people want to come into the city more. Whereas when you're that close, there's almost a fear of it. I don't know. You get what I'm saying? [00:08:30] Speaker B: Feel exactly what you're saying, literally. And yeah. You're like, all right, we're very close. You know, it's right there. It's like. I don't know. It's like. It's like when, you know you should take the garbage out because it's right there and it's getting full. But you're like, all right, I'll get to it later. I don't know. Something like that. [00:08:46] Speaker A: But it's all. I feel like a lot of Long Islanders are like, I don't need that fudgeing city. [00:08:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:50] Speaker A: Shit. [00:08:50] Speaker B: Yeah, a lot of them are anti cities. Yeah, a lot of them are just like, fully. I don't need that shit. Blah, blah, blah. Also, tell me how you feel about this. I feel like the city, no joke, has gotten better despite like. Like violence, crime wise. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Like, since when? [00:09:06] Speaker B: Since I was a kid. Okay. Let's say I was like 17, 18. So like 2012, 2013. [00:09:13] Speaker A: Oh, I feel the opposite. [00:09:14] Speaker B: Really? [00:09:14] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. That was when Bloomberg was in. And that's when I felt like it was the safest it ever was. And then there was a huge downfall with de Blasio. And then now I think it's a little better, you know? But why you feel, you know, just. [00:09:28] Speaker B: From my personal experience, like I don't have the numbers or anything, but, like, every time I'd come into the city, I would see something and it would be like once every couple of weeks. [00:09:35] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Now I'm in the city a lot. And I've never been. God forbid, you know, I don't want to jinx it, but I've never been approached disrespectfully. Like, I've never, you know, but doing comedy, almost a year here and nothing bad has ever happened to me, thank fuck. [00:09:49] Speaker A: I also think maybe because you're here now more often, you're. You're kind of. You're not even looking that much. Like, there's a sense of danger, of in a new place. And then it's like the more you're here, it's like maybe you don't even see it anymore. It becomes like a background noise. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Yeah, could be. Right? [00:10:05] Speaker A: You know? [00:10:05] Speaker B: What am I talking about? I have seen retarded shit since I've been here, but it just never affected me directly. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Yeah, that's always the case. I mean, you kind of just go, all right, yeah, I don't get involved with any of them. I just. If someone I see is like, beating up a woman or something, then. Then I'll get involved. [00:10:18] Speaker B: But even then, she's on her own, dude. I'm not. I'm not seeing him today. Yeah, man, but that's another thing. Like, I was in Atlantic City, A.C. jersey, like two years ago or something, okay. And this old man just, like passed out on the boardwalk, hit his head. I Don't know if he died, honestly. He could have. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:38] Speaker B: But like, everyone crowded around him. And like, I was with my friend and his girlfriend and they like, gave me shit that I walked by and did nothing. [00:10:46] Speaker A: That's what New Yorkers do. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Cuz, like, everyone else did exactly what I did. Just 50ft closer. [00:10:51] Speaker A: That's. [00:10:52] Speaker B: We all did nothing. [00:10:53] Speaker A: That's worse. [00:10:54] Speaker B: A phone call. Like, I was like, okay, somebody's on the phone taking care of this thing. What am I gonna do? Like, look like a good person. I don't care about that. I don't care about looking like a. Either. [00:11:04] Speaker A: You go in full, full speed ahead. The other thing is, is like, where you go. I would love to help out, but I gotta be somewhere. [00:11:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:11] Speaker A: You know what I mean? That sounds really shit. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Yeah. I gotta fucking gotta be somewhere, dude. I gotta be at the Tropicana Hotel and get drunk. Yeah, hello. [00:11:19] Speaker A: I gotta go spend everything I have. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Is anyone else gonna drink those fucking Red Bull vodkas? No. A lot of people are, but I want them first, so go. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Let me ask you this, man. How's with comedy? Because you come from a blue collar world, right? [00:11:33] Speaker B: Fully 100. My dad's a truck driver. My mom was a waitress growing up. When I was growing up. Now she has a nicer job. She works at an insurance agency. But fully working class. No, definitely not white collar. [00:11:49] Speaker A: What do they think about you doing this? [00:11:50] Speaker B: Oh, they. They're like, my mom, like, loves it. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Like, really? [00:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. My dad's, like, interested, but, like, he'll be like, you get any money out of this thing already? No, he's like, that's up. And I don't know. My dad could have been the world's greatest comedian if he. If things shook out that way. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:12:11] Speaker B: But, yeah, he didn't. And I think he wants to now, which is so funny. [00:12:15] Speaker A: And I mean, how old you dad? [00:12:18] Speaker B: It's 59. Not horrible. [00:12:20] Speaker A: No, he's still a young guy and we're the same age, you and I, so he had you just. Pretty young guy. [00:12:25] Speaker B: Yeah, he was like 29 when he had. I'm 30 now. Yeah. Yeah. So. But yeah, they feel good about it. My mom's so supportive. Yeah. [00:12:34] Speaker A: She goes, my son's a comedian in New York City. [00:12:37] Speaker B: Sebastian Maniscalco. Oh, my God. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, Sebastian Maniscalco if he just hated Jews. [00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah. It feels weird when she compares me to him because it's like, do you know who I am? [00:12:49] Speaker A: Like, you haven't seen my act. [00:12:51] Speaker B: Yeah, you haven't seen. She has seen it. And she's like, you can. Could be like Sebastian. And I'm like, I don't know. [00:12:56] Speaker A: Well, I mean, Sebastian sells out fucking arenas. [00:12:58] Speaker B: That's why she's fucking billionaire. So she wants that from me. And I don't know, man. I don't know. They like it and I'm happy to do it. My dad said something, though. He was like. He's like, yeah, this is fucking. This is the first thing you haven't quit. And I was like, wow. It is. It really is. [00:13:17] Speaker A: That's the thing with a lot of people and including. I've done. I've worked hard my whole life, but this is. I was talking with Joe Gerbo about this the other day, where this is the first thing that I'm like, wow. I'm just. I just keep doing it. I'm just keep doing it. [00:13:33] Speaker B: We just mindlessly keep coming back. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Yeah. You can't not, like. [00:13:37] Speaker B: It's kind of like all I look forward to. Yeah. It's gonna sound sad, but, like. [00:13:41] Speaker A: No, it's not, though, because there are people, I think, living their lives day to day. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:45] Speaker A: Not living for anything except for the fact that they got to pay their bills or they got married too young or they decided to have a kid trapped. Yeah. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I remember the first time I went up, like, it was horrible. I got some laughs, but it was bad. [00:13:57] Speaker A: I'll tell you this, though. The first time I saw you. Yeah, I. I had heard about you, I was like, who the Joe DeVito is that? [00:14:02] Speaker B: Judy Z's. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Where we. Judy Z. And I was like, I'm gonna see this kid. I'm excited. And I was like, yo, he's. He's got. He's got my type of humor, this guy. [00:14:12] Speaker B: We related right away. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Immediately. [00:14:14] Speaker B: We related right away because you're not boring. [00:14:17] Speaker A: Thank you. I appreciate that. [00:14:18] Speaker B: I hate land. [00:14:21] Speaker A: I hate. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Like, I don't know. People are so gay. Like, it's true. [00:14:25] Speaker A: It's true. [00:14:26] Speaker B: Like, and here's my scathing allegory on gun control. [00:14:30] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:14:32] Speaker B: Like, here's like, some really clever, well crafted jokes on the dating scene. [00:14:37] Speaker A: That's. [00:14:37] Speaker B: Hate you, dude. [00:14:39] Speaker A: Those fucking comics are the worst. [00:14:41] Speaker B: Hang yourself from your shoestrings, please. Like, I. I don't like you. I just. [00:14:45] Speaker A: It. It doesn't. Yes, okay. You may be a lot smarter than I am, but, like, you know what? And there's an audience for everybody, but I'm not that. I don't want to be there listening. [00:14:55] Speaker B: To that me and Dan Glace, we call them college jokes. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:58] Speaker B: Like. Like, I hate college. Like, oh, my God. Like. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna upset or disappoint anyone. It's either you're gonna laugh or you'll. You'll just go, okay, I'm not upset. You know what I mean? [00:15:11] Speaker B: That's why, like, I'm desperate to try. Like, you had so much fun in Pennsylvania Hanover. [00:15:17] Speaker A: Oh, dude, I had the best time. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Desperate to have an experience, like, outside of a major city. Because I really want to, like, get like, a. [00:15:24] Speaker A: They would have loved you. [00:15:26] Speaker B: Right? Because I'm trying to, like, I want to be around real Americans, not because. I don't know. I'm so not New York City. Like, I'm a pocket of New York City that is long gone, you know? But, like, I'm not this. I'm not Lower east side. I'm not, like, I'm so. I'm certainly not any of these fucking people. And I don't know. I've caught myself trying to write to fit in. [00:15:51] Speaker A: No, don't do that. [00:15:52] Speaker B: And it hated it. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:53] Speaker B: And I was telling it with a frown. [00:15:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:55] Speaker B: And I couldn't sell it because I don't believe in it. So I just got to do what I want to do. And there are people who think I'm funny and, like. I don't know. It just sucks, though, feeling like a fish out of water. Feeling like you don't fit in anywhere. And, you know, comedically, I just feel like I don't fit in really. And it's weird. [00:16:12] Speaker A: You're not. I think. Well, here's. I mean, you have. You have me, you have Justin, you have Joker. Like, there are people who. You're. You're part of this group who love you. So in that sense, you fit in. But I understand in the world of, like, the audience, like, the audience doesn't understand you, which I think is a really good place to be, personally, because I have the same thing, dude, where I'm like. And it took me a while. It's. I'm still figuring it out. I have. You know, but when I went to the other cities, I went, okay, these people, they. They get it. They're not. They're not. You know, they've worked all day. They paid money to be here. They just want to have a good time, and they understand that no one's trying to. You know, they can't go to. A lot of people can go to. In New York. Seven other seven, seventy Other clubs. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:01] Speaker A: And see something else. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:03] Speaker A: Whereas in these places, it's like, well, this is the only spot, and I want to have a good time, literally. [00:17:07] Speaker B: And, dude, it's just real people. [00:17:09] Speaker A: And. [00:17:10] Speaker B: God, like, you know how many times I've set. I've done a setup on stage, and I've heard someone whisper, what? And I'm like, what do you mean, what? Like, I'm gonna tell you what. Like. Like, I don't know. There's just, like. I feel like I'm a fucking. Not to talk about myself too much, but, like, I don't know. I feel like I'm a foreign animal to a lot of people. To a lot of New York City transplants, I am a foreign animal. [00:17:34] Speaker A: Yeah. They don't get you. [00:17:35] Speaker B: They don't. And it's, like, kind of discouraging. But then again, I have guys like you and Justin and Joe and Dan and fucking all my friends in comedy who are like, oh, they get it. So it's like. I don't know. [00:17:45] Speaker A: It feels weird, I think. You know, it's funny because I'm. I'm from Brooklyn, and the Brooklyn that I grew up in is very different than Brooklyn now. [00:17:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:54] Speaker A: And I. Yeah. But the thing is to embrace it. Just keep embracing who the you are. I. I think. And look, like I said, I'm no one to give advice, but the only thing that's been working for me, at least for my soul, even if they're not laughing, at the end of the day, I go, all right. At least I know I could go to bed at night knowing I tried what I wanted to try. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. You know, and, like, I don't know, like, when it hits, it hits too. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Like, that's what I'm saying. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Really high risk, high reward. Like. Like, we did the show outdoor at Judy outdoors at Judy Z's. Brian Rigby and friends, and Brian Rigby. [00:18:28] Speaker A: The guy who made the music for this podcast. [00:18:29] Speaker B: We love you, Brian. Thank you for putting me on every show you put together. Me and him talk on the phone, like, three nights a week, too. Like, we're so gay with it. And. But he put me on a show, and I went last, and there was, like, a pocket of, like, you know, like, attractive blonde girls and shit. And, like. Like, I couldn't believe they were laughing at my shit. I was like. I could. What? I was like, really, you guys? Thank you. This is nice. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Well, here's the other thing I've learned is a lot of times I'll walk on Stage and I go, these. These blonde girls are not gonna like this. [00:18:59] Speaker B: You just bring it up. Up top. [00:19:01] Speaker A: And then. And I won't even. I either I'll say it out loud or sometimes I'll say it to myself before I'm like these. I already know this group is not gonna like it. And then they end up laughing. And you know what that makes us? It makes us guilty of doing what other people do to us. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:17] Speaker A: You know what I mean? And it's like sometimes you gotta have faith that these people will get it. [00:19:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Just spiraling, overthinking the judgment between the two of us. You know, it's crazy. [00:19:27] Speaker A: Like, because they're judging us. I mean it's the first second they see us. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:32] Speaker A: And they want you to do well, but like you never. You really don't know who's gonna find what funny. And that's. That's exciting. And it's really cool when it's hot. Women. I mean that's. Who better. Who else do you want to really make laugh? I don't want to make anyone else laugh except hot women. [00:19:45] Speaker B: Right. One time I was at Blackout and it was fucking crowded from a. What do you call it? Fantasy football thing. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Couldn't move in the place. And it was so packed out. And this is my first five minutes that I put together. I had a bit about comparing black jobs to white jobs. [00:20:00] Speaker A: I love that bit. [00:20:02] Speaker B: I want to bring it back because I haven't done it in a long time and. But there was a couple, like a really good looking couple, guy and a girl. And they were slapping each other's knees to my bit. And I was like, that fucking feels amazing. [00:20:13] Speaker A: Like the best. [00:20:14] Speaker B: God. Like very well to do, young attractive couple. And I was like, nice. I got them going. Like if I get those people going, I could get anybody going 100%. We just got to believe in ourselves. [00:20:24] Speaker A: That's. And. And it's those people. A lot of times. A lot of times I've noticed also is that the trans. Some built. Some of the transplants are horrible, but some of them are. They're. They're dying for it a little bit. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:37] Speaker A: You know, like they're. They. People do want to. If it's good. I mean the way you do it is really well. Some people, you know, you just gotta. You gotta just do you. That's it. At the end of the day. And. And there will be people like Doug Stanhope said that he love him. He built his whole career on like a very small group of loyal People where, like, he's not like Andrew Scholz wherever the whole world knows him. [00:21:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:02] Speaker A: But he'll go to these small towns and 150 people will show up at the comedy club and, and that sustained his career. [00:21:09] Speaker B: Wherever his name is, people are going to show up for him. [00:21:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:12] Speaker B: Such a degenerate, too. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I mean, that's. And that's the fun part. I mean, I, that's why I relate to him. I'm like, I'm a degenerate. [00:21:19] Speaker B: I've been up on Doug Stand up since I was like 16. I heard of him. That's when I got into like, Opie and Anthony. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:25] Speaker B: On YouTube. Yeah. And yeah, that's when I really found out about Stand Up. Remember the first Stand up you ever saw on tv? [00:21:34] Speaker A: The first one? I remember. I can tell you exactly what it was. [00:21:36] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:21:37] Speaker A: It was Chris Rock. Never scared. [00:21:38] Speaker B: Really. [00:21:39] Speaker A: It was. And him doing the bit on Blacks versus N Words, that was one of the funniest things I couldn't believe. I was sitting in my, I'll never forget in my parents room. He's wearing that fucking like burgundy suit, strutting back and forth. And I go, this is amazing. [00:21:57] Speaker B: So charismatic. [00:21:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:59] Speaker B: God. The first one I saw, I have a worse answer. We were in Pennsylvania, I think it was it called like Woodlock Pines. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Like an indoor water park type shit. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:07] Speaker B: And it was the day Steve Irwin died, so 2006. [00:22:11] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:12] Speaker B: And I saw Daniel Tasha's half hour on the TV in the hotel room and he was like, like straddling the stool. Not in a hack way, like in a funny way. [00:22:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:21] Speaker B: I was like, this guy is so fucking funny. And I kind of forgot about Stand up until I was like, I don't know, 16. That's when I really wanted to start. But I pussied out for like 13 years. I wanted to do it since I was 16. Then I finally got on stage at 29. How old were you? [00:22:38] Speaker A: First time I did it was the very first open mic was 2019 at the Alligator Lounge in Williamsburg. And then I didn't touch it for a long time, really. And then covet happened. I ended up back. I ended up in LA. 2022. In LA is when I started. Hard end of 2022, and then came back here, took a little hiatus and then went back at it. That's just so. It's, it's been a few years, but I didn't even think about doing standup. I, I, I loved stand up, but I was just like, I'M not that funny. I can't do this. [00:23:11] Speaker B: When I was 16, like, I was like. I don't know, I had, like a really, like, I was running around with the legitimate scumbag degenerates of Long island, like, disgusting group of kids, and one of them stole from my house. Oh, scumbag shit. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Oh, that's the worst. [00:23:26] Speaker B: So I had a full rework. Like, I became, like, I had, like, a fucking. A period of, like, hermit behavior when I was, like, 16. I just didn't trust anyone. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you the house and shit. [00:23:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Just wouldn't go out. Like, I would go to school. And I really started taking school seriously because I was failing every class. So I was gung ho on school, but I was still smoking weed every day. But I had a rule like, okay, you can't smoke until all your homework is done. And we had HBO on Demand and they had every, like, special, everything. Every stand up thing. Comedy Central on Demand. So I could see everybody's half hour special. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:59] Speaker B: Premium blend. Comedy Central presents the half hour Fucking. Because they keep rebranding them. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:05] Speaker B: It used to be print. Yeah. But I just, like, got wrapped up in stand up when I was, like, 16, and I watched so much that I was like, okay, I'm better than, like, a lot of these people. [00:24:15] Speaker A: I didn't say. I never thought that. [00:24:18] Speaker B: I knew I was genuinely funny. Funnier than so many people doing stand up. [00:24:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:22] Speaker B: And it's gonna sound cocky, but like, like a percentage. A small percentage. [00:24:27] Speaker A: Small. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Every woman. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:31] Speaker B: No, no, no. There's a lot of funny ones and. But I don't know, I just couldn't believe they were letting some of it on tv and that kind of inspired me. [00:24:39] Speaker A: Well, I mean, that was what HBO was for you. You were able. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Comedy Central, HBO had all good. [00:24:43] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:24:44] Speaker B: Comedy Central, though, it's a little different. Yeah. Also YouTube back in the day, they were putting up like, yeah. Short five, ten minute sets. And I couldn't believe some of these people got their shit on Comedy Central. I was like, they suck dick. [00:24:56] Speaker A: They're not that great. [00:24:57] Speaker B: They suck. [00:24:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:58] Speaker B: Everything about them I hate. And it really, like, lit a fire under my ass. I was like, I don't know. I've gotten better laughs at a funeral than what you're doing on stage with the microphone. You know what I'm saying? I always believed that because I don't know. And I see. We see more stand up than the normal person. We've. I'm 10 months in, I've seen more Stand up than the average person will their entire life. [00:25:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:23] Speaker B: In 10 months seen more five minute sets than anybody will until they die. And I don't know. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Are you at that point now? Cuz I had it when I was in like when I was hit pushing a year, I had the, the idea of, I'm like, I don't feel like sitting in here and listening to the other comics and I'll like step out. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Oh, I've done that since day one. [00:25:43] Speaker A: Oh really? [00:25:44] Speaker B: I can't stand it. I can't. I get antsy too. [00:25:47] Speaker A: I don't know why I, I do it. I, I started, I always sat there. But I think I started doing it more because I, I started producing shows. [00:25:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:58] Speaker A: And I was like, let me see who's good. [00:25:59] Speaker B: You want to scout? [00:26:00] Speaker A: Yeah, Scout town. Like this is, this could be good. The other thing is, is like sometimes I just hope that other people will sit there. You know what I mean? Like to do an empty room fucking sucks. [00:26:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I got my karma. Last week I was, I was at Grizzly Pair Friday, 5pm yeah. Joe Pappalardo Host yeah. I was third to last and it was like a 15 people mike, everybody sitting, hanging out. By the time I got up, there was four people. It's like I sat through all your shit, paid money and I was sober. I didn't drink, so I was really fucking agitated. So. And I was, I had like a. Not a meltdown, but I started insulting the people who left. [00:26:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:37] Speaker B: By name. [00:26:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Good. Fuck them. Fuck them, dude. I, Whenever the room gets empty out, I, I don't do any jokes and I just start to go. [00:26:44] Speaker B: Literally had a list. I was like, they left, they left, they left. I don't know why I did that. I regret it. But it was also kind of funny. [00:26:50] Speaker A: No, I don't regret it. [00:26:51] Speaker B: Me and James Patrick like he, he ripped the room apart right before for me. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Like insulting people. So I was like, you know, let's just do what James and insult everyone. [00:27:02] Speaker A: I, those, those times suck. But it's also kind of beneficial in the sense of like if there's something I have not fleshed out, not even a little bit. Just like how I'm feeling. I start now, I start to do that where I just have a conversation. I sit on the stool and I just go, you know, I feel, I feel like, you know, this kind of. And it does. It's not funny at all. It's just me just talking. [00:27:23] Speaker B: It is cool to get comfortable being a little angry on stage. [00:27:26] Speaker A: Oh, dude, Right. [00:27:27] Speaker B: I never flex that muscle or flex that. I have to. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Dude. I lose my mind now all the time. Just. And sometimes if you don't have a punch line, which a lot of my. I don't got punchlines, but you just say it. You sell it so well of, like, this belief, it becomes funny, dude. [00:27:46] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. Like, I love a funny complainer. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:50] Speaker B: If someone could complain and make it funny, I. Man or woman, I'm falling in love with you. I don't care. Like, some people suck at it, some people can't. When they complain, it comes off as, like, way too bitter and, like, comfortable. And I don't know, like, my dad complaining is the funniest shit in the world. My mom complaining is horrible. You know, Like. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Well, there's two types of complaints. There's the complaint that. About something that actually matters, like, yo, I got to pay my bills. [00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:15] Speaker A: And then there's the complaint of this at Starbucks. Gave me 2%. I asked for fucking whole milk. Like, you know, like, something that really has no. You know, doesn't fuck your day up. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:25] Speaker A: But you make it that. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Like, my friend Harrison, you remember Harrison, my friend? [00:28:29] Speaker A: Yes. Which I was. I was jealous. [00:28:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:32] Speaker B: Because it was you and Joe and Harrison and Joe. [00:28:34] Speaker A: That's right. Yeah. Yeah. [00:28:35] Speaker B: It was two Joe's and two Harrisons. Like, he could complain about anything and it's fucking hilarious. Yes. Like, anything from, like, health problems to, like, getting the wrong order at Starbucks. Like, he's just. I don't know. I love people like that who are just so funny. [00:28:49] Speaker A: It's. It's a. You know, when some. And also there's people who complain because they're bitter. They're not bitter, but, like, they're. They're like, they think this is not right. Like, I don't. Like, if I don't ever complain. There are people who will complain. A restaurant, like, to a waiter. [00:29:03] Speaker B: I will never, never. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Like, that's different. Then there's complaints of, like, well, you know, you're just trying to make your. [00:29:08] Speaker B: Friends give me a foreskin on my burger and I'm just gonna flick it off and eat it. [00:29:12] Speaker A: Like, I wouldn't even flick it off. I'd go, I've been missing mine. I remember. [00:29:17] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I remember, like, Long Island. Like, it's pretty financially segregated, I would guess. [00:29:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:23] Speaker B: Like, you know, I was working class, blue collar, but I went to school with a. Like, rich. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:28] Speaker B: And you know, middle school, you all hang out and you realize not everyone's like you. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:34] Speaker B: There's a lot of complainers and kids who, like, really think they deserve the best. And. I don't know, it's just a lack of humility and. Yeah, like, I've never. I've never done that. Like, I've never complained at a restaurant. I've never. I don't even know what I'm talking about. [00:29:49] Speaker A: No, no, I know what you're saying. Let me ask, if you got rich, what would be the first. Like, what would be the thing that you'd get. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Oh, shit. House secured. Nice. [00:29:57] Speaker A: You think you'd go all out, like, the Scarface style? [00:29:59] Speaker B: No, Never. I'm not a. I'm not like a. I'm not like a materialistic person. I have like a. If I ever got rich, I feel like I would still have a poverty mindset, like a famine mindset where. Yeah. I would not go crazy. I don't like flashy cars. I don't like it. I don't like how nice cars look. [00:30:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:16] Speaker B: I don't like. It's. It's a. I think it's all in poor taste. [00:30:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:20] Speaker B: Like, I don't know, like, kids who have, like an 82 IQ see Scarface and they're like, holy. I want to be that. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, that's the most tasteless display of wealth I've ever seen. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Well, yeah, that was. That was. But you look at. You watch the Godfather and you see the compound and you're like, yeah, it's not like it wasn't. I don't think it was gaudy, but you just kind of go like, it'll be nice. I don't. You don't need that. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Yeah, but gaudy is a good word. Tacky. Gaudy. Gauche. I've seen so much of it. And yeah, I grew up with these, like, legitimately, like, Forrest Gump IQ level Italian kids who, like, oh, my God. [00:30:59] Speaker A: Get the mufflers that fucking make noise six blocks away. [00:31:01] Speaker B: It's like, bro, why do you have a fucking rose gold? Are you Persian? Yeah, rose gold iPhone. [00:31:06] Speaker A: You. [00:31:06] Speaker B: Are you Arabic? Really? You scumbag. [00:31:09] Speaker A: So if you don't like gaudy, how do you feel about fake tits? [00:31:12] Speaker B: I. I don't like them. [00:31:13] Speaker A: You don't like them? Get the. Out of my house. No, I agree. [00:31:17] Speaker B: I see a bbl, I'm like that. Oh, my. [00:31:20] Speaker A: Gross. Right? [00:31:20] Speaker B: I don't like it, man. [00:31:22] Speaker A: It's. It's. I don't understand what women, if they're done, if the. The bass I hate, but the tits, like, I go, if they, they could pass, like, if they, you know, they can pass. I'm like, I'm all right. [00:31:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Because then I don't even know if they're fake. [00:31:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:35] Speaker B: If I see, like, visibly disgustingly fake tits, I'm like, why would you do that? I do like some tasteful lip filler. Tasteful? [00:31:43] Speaker A: Tasteful. There's such thing as tasteful. You have to have no lips. Exactly. To really, you know, pull it off. [00:31:49] Speaker B: I don't know. I, like, I saw that recently. This girl, like, you could tell she had lip filler, but it wasn't trashy. I don't know how to explain. [00:31:57] Speaker A: I understand. She put in just enough to make them. [00:31:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker A: Full enough, but not, like, look nice. [00:32:02] Speaker B: You look nice. Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. We should get lip filler. [00:32:05] Speaker A: I would look sick with lip, dude. I need lip filler and dick filler. I need to get my shit together. I would be a good looking woman. I think you would. [00:32:14] Speaker B: I think you would very much would. Definitely. I fucking. I literally look like Roseanne already. Like, so. I would just look like season one Roseanne. I would just legitimately. God, I knew this kid, he looked exactly like me. He's like, if I was a girl, I'd be fucking hot. I'd be like, you already look like a fat woman. Like, you're like, if I turned you and a fat girl around, I couldn't tell who I'm, you idiot. Like, are you dumb? You think you'd be like Kate Upton, you idiot. Like, literally, like, it's like, dude, I huge tits already. It's like, you're disgusting and a beast. [00:32:47] Speaker A: You. When you got, when did you get heavy? Like, when did you start, like, getting heavy? Cuz I saw pictures of you. You weren't heavy. [00:32:52] Speaker B: I, I was thin for 15 minutes in 2015. [00:32:56] Speaker A: Okay? [00:32:56] Speaker B: I had 12 minutes of hotness. So. All right, so every picture of me as a baby, I'm already fat and I have a cigarette four inches away from my face. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Somebody's smoking a cigarette in my face already. So that, that's what started that. Always huge. Always morbidly a fucking goat. And got skinny. I wouldn't even say skinny. When I was 18. 18, 19. Like horrendous. Like, anorexic behavior. Really. Not anorexia nervosa because that's when you have a dangerously low body fat. [00:33:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Count. But the lifestyle was purely anorexic. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Like cigarettes and alcohol. [00:33:34] Speaker B: Cigarettes, alcohol. Afraid to put hand sanitizer on my hands because I thought I would topically absorb the calories legitimately. Dude. Like, full blown. Like, I don't know. People are very surprised to hear that from me. And then I was afraid to take vitamins because I thought they had sodium and it would make my face bloat. Like, full blown. [00:33:54] Speaker A: That's fucked up. [00:33:55] Speaker B: Like, literally, like a Russian ballerina's life. Just full blown anorexic. So I got pretty thin. I wouldn't eat for, like, days. Days at a time. And longest I went without eating was like five days. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Oh, that's a lot. [00:34:09] Speaker B: Yeah. 120 hours. No food, just water and black coffee. I don't know how I lived, but. [00:34:14] Speaker A: I mean, you could survive without food for weeks. [00:34:15] Speaker B: You could, right? I looked amazing. Oh, my God. [00:34:21] Speaker A: Oh. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Sometimes I'll see a girl that I hooked up with back then. [00:34:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:24] Speaker B: And I just, like, hide my face. I'm like, I'm not the same person that you. [00:34:29] Speaker A: You don't have to hide because she wouldn't recognize you. [00:34:33] Speaker B: She's like, oh, my God, is that pair of triplets Joe DeVito? Holy shit. And so then. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Okay, so that happened. [00:34:39] Speaker B: But. [00:34:39] Speaker A: And then. Do you eat? Like, Are you a nervous eater? Like anxiety eating? [00:34:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Compulsive, emotional eating? [00:34:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Nowadays I eat pretty okay. It's the fucking drinking that's. That keeps me fat. [00:34:51] Speaker A: The beers. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:53] Speaker A: Drink vodka. [00:34:54] Speaker B: I know I should. [00:34:57] Speaker A: I might just drink harder. [00:34:58] Speaker B: Shit, just huff gasoline. Yeah. [00:35:01] Speaker A: Don't. You know? Or do blow. [00:35:03] Speaker B: So. Yeah. Heavy weight fluctuations. Last time I did blow, I was 28. And. [00:35:08] Speaker A: Okay, good. [00:35:09] Speaker B: I loved it when I was 20. The skinny year. Yeah, I loved blow. I did blow every Saturday for seven weeks straight. [00:35:16] Speaker A: I did it for every Saturday for, like, three years. [00:35:20] Speaker B: But I did it seven Saturdays in a row. And on that eighth Saturday, we couldn't find it, and I bugged out. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:35:27] Speaker B: And I caused a scene. [00:35:29] Speaker A: That's. [00:35:29] Speaker B: And it wasn't good. So I woke up that next day on a Sunday. I was like, you know what? Like, never do that again. Never. [00:35:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's when you're. When you're having a meltdown over not finding the drugs. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Yo. [00:35:41] Speaker A: And you're not. Are you. Were you drunk? [00:35:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:35:44] Speaker A: Makes it a little better. [00:35:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I was drunk. I was insulting everyone. I was like, you it up with the guy last time, you scumbag. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Like, you're like, you in that scene in Goodfellas. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:54] Speaker A: When Ray Liotta's like, karen, what'd you do with the coke? I flushed it. What. [00:35:58] Speaker B: What do you Mean. [00:36:03] Speaker A: What are we gonna do? [00:36:05] Speaker B: What are we gonna do? I should have got a white Christmas tree that night, but, yeah, I didn't touch it again until eight years down the line. Yeah, tried it and it didn't hit me the same way. I didn't, like, felt like a. I don't know. It felt like too much cold brew when I did it when I was 28. [00:36:26] Speaker A: You were hopped. It was probably a cut with a. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Little speed or probably was. It was upstate, like, trailer. [00:36:33] Speaker A: Definitely speed. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. [00:36:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, no big deal. I mean, I'm sure I've done. [00:36:38] Speaker B: I get ripped on caffeine, though. Like, I am a stimulant abuser. [00:36:41] Speaker A: Me too. [00:36:42] Speaker B: Dude, I. I brought that coffee over here. I had. I woke up, I had no coffee in the house, so I had two cups of tea to try to mimic one cup of coffee. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Well, tea's got a lot of caffeine. [00:36:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it does. It's. It's not low. You would think it would be lower, but it's not. So I had that. Then I had a medium cold brew from Dunks. And then I came. That Russian market where I just passed by. That's like, one of the best coffees I ever had. [00:37:04] Speaker A: That was good. What was it, Ted? [00:37:07] Speaker B: Oh, God. It was Dmitriev Market. That's what it said when I paid. Okay, but you know how, like, a vape shop, it'll be like Muhammad Express. [00:37:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:17] Speaker B: Like, every day the vape you buy is a different price and there's a different name on it. Yeah. [00:37:21] Speaker A: But, yeah. Stimulate. Abusing that shit. I. I have. I would say I average four to five cups of coffee a day, and each one of them have minimum two shots of espresso. [00:37:32] Speaker B: Dude. And people. I tell people that, and they're like. [00:37:33] Speaker A: What are you doing? [00:37:34] Speaker B: I'm like, everyone doesn't do this. [00:37:36] Speaker A: Trying to stay awake, bro. Yeah, life is hard. [00:37:39] Speaker B: I thought everyone drank five cups of coffee a day. [00:37:42] Speaker A: Like, I. I think it's insane. If you don't. I don't know how you're able to get through the day. [00:37:46] Speaker B: Also, I'm naive, so I didn't know how many people just did Adderall. [00:37:50] Speaker A: Everybody. Oh, that's the other thing. [00:37:52] Speaker B: So every, pretty much almost every professional is doing Adderall. [00:37:56] Speaker A: Everybody. [00:37:57] Speaker B: I didn't know this. I'm, like, retarded. [00:37:58] Speaker A: Like, the same way everyone's doing coke. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah. See that? I'm so naive. I'm like, wait, you guys, like, do drugs and, like, have sex with random people? Oh, my God. Like, I'm not, like, innocent, but I am pretty naive. And. [00:38:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's how they're getting through the day, though. It's the Adderall. [00:38:16] Speaker B: It's crazy. [00:38:17] Speaker A: It's. It's. I will not touch Adderall. I did in. When I was in college, I would take Adderall. Not to study. I wouldn't go to class. I would. I take the train to the. The college because it was near the. My first college I got kicked out of. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Where was it? [00:38:30] Speaker A: City Tech in downtown Brooklyn. [00:38:32] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:38:32] Speaker A: I would take the train there, pop an Adderall, and then sit by the promenade and just tweak. Just tweak. [00:38:39] Speaker B: I love tweaking. Oh, my God. If we grew up on the west coast, we would be tweakers fully. Like, that's like a. That's like a Albuquerque, New Mexico, Nevada type drug. I would. I love being high on, like, caffeine. [00:38:52] Speaker A: I. But the thing is, those people are judging you about how you're doing. You are taking meth. Yeah, those same people are doing. Or Adderall's meth. [00:38:59] Speaker B: Adderal. Legitimate. Yeah. I snorted it three times. I never popped one. [00:39:03] Speaker A: Oh, But I snort. [00:39:04] Speaker B: Snorted the. The orange Adderall. [00:39:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:07] Speaker B: Literally just like, fucking to the moon. Oh, my God. What is it called? Like, what's the orange vanilla ice cream called? Back to food. [00:39:16] Speaker A: It's like a cream. So Creamsicle. Yeah. [00:39:18] Speaker B: Dude. It literally just felt like I fucking nose the Creamsicle. It was so sick. I loved it. I was like, oh, my God. [00:39:24] Speaker A: That's. Dude, that's. That's your. That was your mimicking for food. [00:39:27] Speaker B: Literally. I was getting fucking creamsicle drips. It was the coolest feeling ever. [00:39:31] Speaker A: And it lasts for fucking God. Ever. [00:39:34] Speaker B: I was at Harrison's, my friend Harrison's apartment. He went to Stony Brook. He graduated from Stony Brook. [00:39:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:39] Speaker B: And it's all deep Long island. And he had, like, a nice little apartment over there. It was like a one bedroom on the second floor of a retired cop's house. And every time I would go there, just Adderall. And one time we snorted a bunch of Adderall and I drank, like, 11 Coors Lights, but I dropped a shot of vodka in every Coors Light. Oh, 11 shots of vodka, 11 beers. [00:40:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Adderall. All night, tweaking, chain smoking out the window. [00:40:08] Speaker A: No pussy inside. [00:40:09] Speaker B: No, just two, three men and a tv and drugs and alcohol and no bitches at all. [00:40:15] Speaker A: That's. You know, when you're young, in college. That's cool. [00:40:18] Speaker B: I was college age I wasn't even in college. He was, though, so it counts. [00:40:23] Speaker A: But it's still. I mean, you know, you get to a point at some point, like, you know, we're 30s now, where you're like, look, if we're gonna chill and do drugs, I would rather there be women around. [00:40:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:33] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Like a couple guys and, like, hey, be cool if we hung out with some girls. [00:40:36] Speaker B: It's a mixed company. [00:40:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:37] Speaker B: You know, like, three guys are doing drugs in a room is sad. [00:40:40] Speaker A: It. Yeah. At this age, I go, oh, it's sad, dude. [00:40:43] Speaker B: It's bad. [00:40:43] Speaker A: I did that for a long time. [00:40:45] Speaker B: I know, dude. Drugs in a room. Drugs in a room. [00:40:48] Speaker A: It just. And you're talking about nothing. [00:40:51] Speaker B: I know you talked all night, but you said nothing. [00:40:54] Speaker A: Yeah. The only thing I ever. I ever really said in those rooms was, yeah. I'm just hoping these drugs kill me so I don't have to do it myself. I'm like, that was it. [00:41:02] Speaker B: I hope someone else peels me out of this room dead instead of getting myself out of here. Literally. I was never into drugs, though. Never had a pill phase. Coke did it. I could count on two hands how many times I did it. The thing is, I did drugs very young. Too young. [00:41:20] Speaker A: I will. [00:41:20] Speaker B: Smoked weed at 12. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Me too. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Yeah, right, right. [00:41:24] Speaker A: That's. [00:41:24] Speaker B: Other people can't believe that. [00:41:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:27] Speaker B: Ecstasy. Remember ecstasy? [00:41:29] Speaker A: I still do ecstasy. [00:41:30] Speaker B: Really? [00:41:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Is it still around? It's in that drawer, allegedly. Before. [00:41:35] Speaker B: Okay, so they have the Teslas. What was the one when I was kid, the shape. [00:41:41] Speaker A: The skulls. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Skulls, do you remember? What other shapes do you remember? [00:41:44] Speaker A: Well, I got a bitcoin and. And a couple Teslas. [00:41:49] Speaker B: Fuck. There was like. I forgot what it was. Oh. I think it was like a. A moon would just be a circle, so I think it was like a Mitsubishi, maybe some. But I remember we split an ecstasy tab, me and my friend, and we just, like, were outside all night, and it was weird, and I liked it. Took Xanax a couple times when I was like, 15. Oxycodone gave me the worst stomach ache I've ever had in my life. [00:42:17] Speaker A: That'll fuck you. [00:42:17] Speaker B: I thought it was supposed to be a painkiller. Like, what the fuck did that? Heavy weed usage from 14 to 19. [00:42:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:26] Speaker B: Then when I was 21, I got this, like, horrendous, like, psychosis from weed. And that could happen, man. [00:42:34] Speaker A: I barely smoke now. [00:42:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:36] Speaker A: Because of the paranoia. I'll do it. If I do smoke, I take one hit of a one Hit of a joint and I'm just where I need to be. But other than that, the paranoia gets so intense, dude, And I'm just like, I. I hate it. I. I could do mushrooms. I could. I could trip. [00:42:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:52] Speaker A: And because at least that I know I'm going down this weird place, and I. I can expect. I know what I'm expecting. Whereas with weed, it's like, you don't expect to have that happen, and when it does, you freak out a little. [00:43:03] Speaker B: Yeah. So when you get the paranoia off weed, is it immediate? Like, is it paranoia of your surroundings or, like, perception of how people see you? [00:43:12] Speaker A: I usually will smoke alone if I'm going to. If I do it, and it's. If I'm with people, it's how people see me. I'm like, my fucking weird right now. [00:43:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:19] Speaker A: Or it's a voice in my head going, you fucking piece of shit. [00:43:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, mine is, like, perception of people in my life who know me. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:28] Speaker B: Like, if I smoke weed, I just. I'm like, I've never been respected in my life. Everyone hates me. [00:43:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:43:34] Speaker B: I'm a joke to everyone. Life is. This has all been for nothing. Like, I can't smoke weed. Like, I go down the worst, like, rabbit hole of the worst things you could ever feel about yourself. And it's horrible, man. I can't do weed anymore. [00:43:47] Speaker A: It's. It's for the people who can do it. It's great. But it's, it's. Yo. It's also super strong now. [00:43:51] Speaker B: It's so strong, man. I kind of want to, like. I want to smoke some 70s weed and see if, like. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Oh, it's definitely. We could handle that, I think. Yeah. [00:43:59] Speaker B: Right. [00:43:59] Speaker A: My dad smokes the stizzy. [00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:04] Speaker A: He'll hit it too much sometimes and he'll be like, yo. He goes, I don't know what they did to weed now. [00:44:09] Speaker B: It's not. [00:44:09] Speaker A: He goes, but I'm on the moon. He's like, I'm on the moon all the time. Like, well, why do you keep hitting it? He's like, well, it's fun. [00:44:17] Speaker B: I'm gonna hit it. [00:44:18] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. It's. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Both of my parents smoke only weed. No pen, no edibles. [00:44:22] Speaker A: That's the way to do it. Yeah, that's the way to do it. Honestly, edibles are, Are just a dangerous. I, I. If I get it from a dispensary that has them, like, exactly the milligram in each little thing, then I'll do it, because then I could piece it out. [00:44:35] Speaker B: Exactly like, the only edible I ever tried was 2009. It was a. A brownie that somebody baked. Oh, I've never tried a. It me up, dude. [00:44:45] Speaker A: I did that. Anytime someone bakes this, you're no good. [00:44:49] Speaker B: I've never, like, I stopped smoking weed right as soon as it became this, like, commercialized thing in the stores. Like, I hate that. [00:44:56] Speaker A: I hate that. [00:44:56] Speaker B: It's so corny. [00:44:57] Speaker A: People don't realize the trouble you had to go through to get high, dude. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:45:02] Speaker A: The people are smoking on the street. I'm like, you, you motherfuckers. You don't get it. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Walking a mile in the snow for a gram. I used to do that. [00:45:10] Speaker A: And also not trying not to get arrested. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. And oh, my God, cops would really like. [00:45:17] Speaker A: I was arrested for smoking weed. [00:45:19] Speaker B: I know countless people who have. Yeah, dude. Like, I know kids who, like, did stints in. You know, kids, like, went away for weed. It's up. [00:45:27] Speaker A: It's insane, dude. [00:45:29] Speaker B: I don't know anyone who ever went to, like, a juvenile detention center, but I know kids who took the option of a youth drug program instead of going to jail. [00:45:36] Speaker A: I mean, I would. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Yeah, anybody. [00:45:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:39] Speaker B: But, like, going away to a rehab for weed is kind of crazy, you know, it's nuts. [00:45:43] Speaker A: It's nuts. And soon, I'm hoping mushrooms and. And other psychedelics go down that same path where you're like, all right. Because the other thing is, weed is a habit. I think you can get. It's habitual. You could smoke and so you can end up being a total potted. Yeah, no one's doing mushrooms, like, full doses of mushrooms every day. [00:46:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think so. [00:46:04] Speaker A: If you are, then you are really in the wrong on the wrong path. [00:46:07] Speaker B: You know what wooks are? [00:46:09] Speaker A: The. Are Wooks. [00:46:10] Speaker B: Wook, like the rave scumbags. Usually a white guy with dreads and a drum. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to Burning Man. [00:46:18] Speaker B: Really? [00:46:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:18] Speaker B: Wow. You probably met countless wolks. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I did. [00:46:21] Speaker B: And those. Those might be the guys doing shrooms every day. [00:46:24] Speaker A: Those guys, probably. [00:46:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:26] Speaker A: I mean, micro dosing them fine. But if you're tripping. Tripping, then. [00:46:29] Speaker B: Do you like the Grateful Dead? [00:46:32] Speaker A: Not really, no. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Not into it at all. [00:46:34] Speaker A: Not my thing. [00:46:34] Speaker B: I don't like it. [00:46:35] Speaker A: I want to be. Because it's such a. It's like a hippie thing. [00:46:37] Speaker B: It's like a communal, cool hippie thing. But, like, everyone, like, okay, like, once a year, they'll come to, like, Citi Field, like, where the Mets play. And I'LL check Instagram and I can't believe how many people I know were just like secretly deadheads. [00:46:51] Speaker A: And it's. [00:46:51] Speaker B: And it's always like, it's always like an, I don't know, not a nerdy person, but like a dreadfully average person. [00:46:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Someone you, you actually really. You're friendly with but you don't like. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Yeah, just like a deeply mediocre, completely forgettable person with like no defining personalities that will ever set them aside in life. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Fucking loser. [00:47:10] Speaker B: Just literally nothing. Just a pile of nothing. And it's always them who like love the dead. And I don't know, it's weird, I don't know them. [00:47:16] Speaker A: Well, you. We were talking actually online the other day. You saw the song I posted. I can't believe you like the Orwell's. I don't know anyone who likes. [00:47:23] Speaker B: I don't know. You're the second person I've ever met who likes the Orwells, dude. [00:47:26] Speaker A: They were amazing, dude. [00:47:29] Speaker B: And we were around for that. That was like 2012, 13. [00:47:32] Speaker A: It was, I think a little, even a little later, I think this started. Their first album was 16, I think. [00:47:36] Speaker B: Oh, there was the one with the American flag and there was the one. [00:47:41] Speaker A: I'm thinking is the Green album. That's. It's like it looked like a front lawn or something. [00:47:44] Speaker B: You ever see their performance on Letterman? [00:47:46] Speaker A: Yeah, they lost their. Yeah. [00:47:48] Speaker B: And the kids rolling around on the ground, blonde haired. [00:47:51] Speaker A: They were like rock stars, dude. [00:47:53] Speaker B: Legit. They were the last ones. [00:47:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:54] Speaker B: And they got canceled for doing rock Star. [00:47:57] Speaker A: The thing is, here I, I was. It was during the MeToo movement. So I'm like, yeah, apparently they were underage girls. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Oh, I thought they just said some crazy. [00:48:06] Speaker A: No, they. Apparently they got. They were like 15 year olds who came out and I'm like, oh, that's a little rough. Can't really argue with that. But at the same time I was like, how many? I looked at them and then I looked and I went, could I see it? Probably. You know what I mean? But I still thought I was like, their music is. [00:48:23] Speaker B: It's amazing. [00:48:24] Speaker A: It's amazing. And the other thing is, is that how many of these girls were, were like, yeah, we're 21 or 18 or whatever. [00:48:32] Speaker B: A lot of the music I listen to, they're not in, they're not highly favored by the public anymore. Like a lot of music I listen to is by people. Like my favorite band is brand new and they got. Fuck, I don't know. Brand new. They're from. They're from Long Island. Me and Dave Romero went to their concert, like, two months ago. [00:48:47] Speaker A: Oh, you told me. [00:48:48] Speaker B: Yeah, they're back now, but they got. They got packed up on the same type of shit. And I don't know, man. That concert was fucking amazing. [00:48:56] Speaker A: I personally, I want to. I like the rock star. Like, I went. Ozzy died. I was like, there. There's never gonna be another guy like this. [00:49:08] Speaker B: It's over. [00:49:09] Speaker A: It's done. That. [00:49:09] Speaker B: That way of life is far gone. [00:49:12] Speaker A: It's completely far gone, dude. [00:49:13] Speaker B: It's so cool, though. Ozzy was a man. [00:49:16] Speaker A: He was the fucking. The coolest guy ever. And you know what the funny thing is? He was. There's not one person, whether you like his music or not, who wasn't like, yeah, he was just the shit. [00:49:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:25] Speaker A: And like, I hate living in a generation where that doesn't exist anymore. [00:49:28] Speaker B: I know. You know, you see Kelly, his daughter now. [00:49:31] Speaker A: Yeah. She looks like a different person. [00:49:32] Speaker B: I know. So hot. She's. [00:49:34] Speaker A: I'd, I would have her then too. [00:49:35] Speaker B: Yeah, she was cool, you know, like, I don't know if you're cool. [00:49:39] Speaker A: I like a cool girl. [00:49:40] Speaker B: It overrides. You have to be how your head looks, you know? [00:49:44] Speaker A: You also have to, like, be a little. [00:49:46] Speaker B: A little try, try a little try. [00:49:48] Speaker A: Do you have. [00:49:49] Speaker B: Right. [00:49:50] Speaker A: I've gotten older. [00:49:51] Speaker B: As I've gotten older. [00:49:52] Speaker A: I look at women now. Before, I was like, yo, she's got to be just banging. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:56] Speaker A: Now I'm kind of like every girl I see, I go, I can make it work. [00:50:02] Speaker B: It's cool. Like you do. Like, on one hand, it's like, I'll anything. But on the other hand, it's like I see beauty in everyone. Spiritual things. Yeah. [00:50:12] Speaker A: Okay. No, you got really good angles. I, I, those angles. You know, I can't. It's. I've gotten so less picky. [00:50:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I never was. I never had a type either, neither. I've always been attracted to varying. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Just trash degrees. [00:50:27] Speaker B: Just literal trash, garbage women. God, I love it so much. [00:50:31] Speaker A: But, you know, we were on the Aussie train. So did he got. [00:50:36] Speaker B: What's the newest update? [00:50:37] Speaker A: He got sentenced. He got four years. [00:50:39] Speaker B: Four years. [00:50:39] Speaker A: He's got four years in prison. [00:50:41] Speaker B: Is that one second for every everybody who got touched? [00:50:43] Speaker A: I think one second. [00:50:45] Speaker B: You're serving one second per person. That is crazy. [00:50:48] Speaker A: It's so. I normally I would be like, this is if I didn't see the video of him beating the out of the girl. Oh, yeah, he beat the out of Cassie. [00:50:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Which was brutal. And that I'm like, okay, I don't. I don't like that. But prostitutes, yeah, everyone does that, you know? [00:51:05] Speaker B: I mean, I saw this picture of Diddy recently. He just had his pants down in the club, boxers on, but his jeans were around his ankles. And this, this black guy tweeted, he's like, they should have packed that up right there. He just went to jail then and there. It's so crazy. The power is nuts. [00:51:23] Speaker A: He. It. It'll do. I always wonder, I'm like, would I like. And this is, I think, a valid question. I think I'm a normal guy. [00:51:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:29] Speaker A: You know, but would I, given the power, who knows? Like, would I lose my mind? [00:51:35] Speaker B: I don't know. I, like, every human has had power over somebody at least once in their life, of course. And I could never bring myself to abuse it. Whereas, like, you know, like, I've had jobs where somebody that I was equals with became a supervisor. [00:51:52] Speaker A: Oh, and that's it. [00:51:53] Speaker B: And they changed up right away. It's like how you're so fucking. People are like drunk with power and it's crazy. And I never abuse it. Like, not even try to say, like, oh, I'm this morally correct person. I just can't bring myself to do it. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Yeah, you feel. You feel yucky? [00:52:07] Speaker B: Yeah, it feels. It doesn't feel right. It feels unearned. It feels gross and it feels weird and. But people like that, man, like, I don't know, people are evil and weird. [00:52:17] Speaker A: It's crazy. It's very odd. And it gets. The more you do it. Sorry, I'm just checking the time. Yeah, we're gonna have to. [00:52:24] Speaker B: Two more minutes. [00:52:25] Speaker A: We got, I think five or six. [00:52:27] Speaker B: Five, six minutes. [00:52:27] Speaker A: What time does that say? I can't. 12:57. Yeah, we got some time. Nice. I just think the more it gets sexual too. Yeah, it's a really weird thing. [00:52:39] Speaker B: That's like the whole Epstein shit. Like, you know, 20 year old girls weren't good enough for them. 18 wasn't good enough for them. Yeah, they went down to fucking underage kids, dude. [00:52:49] Speaker A: Like, I. I want someone to have some power, you know, I want to. When I'm them, I want them to tell me what to do too. [00:52:55] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. I don't want a lifeless someone I could push around. [00:52:59] Speaker A: Like, yeah, that's not fun. [00:53:00] Speaker B: That's. That's like. That's horrible. [00:53:03] Speaker A: But I don't know, man. I. I think that these people. I think four years. I'm surprised he got any time. [00:53:08] Speaker B: Me too. [00:53:09] Speaker A: I'm shocked. I thought he was gonna walk scot free. [00:53:11] Speaker B: I thought he would have did what Russell Simmons did. I went to Bali, Indonesia or something. [00:53:15] Speaker A: Oh, it's like run. [00:53:16] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, he's been in Bali and then Russell Simmons. [00:53:19] Speaker A: I didn't know. What's he. What's he. What's they want him? [00:53:21] Speaker B: That's Rev Ron's brother. [00:53:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:23] Speaker B: I think it was like either underage or just flat out regular rape of a woman. [00:53:27] Speaker A: Oh, both good ones. [00:53:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Star studded events unfold. Yeah. So he's been like a. A yoga teacher in Bali just running from the American law for like probably five, six years now. [00:53:38] Speaker A: I had no idea about that. [00:53:40] Speaker B: God is love, Rev. Run. That's his brother. [00:53:42] Speaker A: I know. [00:53:43] Speaker B: Rev, you remember that show? [00:53:44] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I don't know the show. [00:53:45] Speaker B: You remember the show on mtv? [00:53:47] Speaker A: No. [00:53:48] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:53:48] Speaker A: I didn't watch that. Dude. I didn't. [00:53:51] Speaker B: Do you remember that? [00:53:52] Speaker A: No. You Long island trash. [00:53:55] Speaker B: He would end every episode in the bathtub, typing out a message on his sidekick, being like. And today we learned this. God is love, Revron. And that's how we should end this episode. [00:54:06] Speaker A: Honestly, I mean, God. God is love. [00:54:08] Speaker B: God. [00:54:09] Speaker A: Are you religious? [00:54:10] Speaker B: A little bit, yeah. As I get older, I'm getting more religious. [00:54:13] Speaker A: A lot of people I know, the older they get, the more religious. [00:54:16] Speaker B: I wasn't raised religious at all. [00:54:17] Speaker A: What are you Catholic? [00:54:18] Speaker B: I was and my mom made me do my confirmation, but they never. There was no God in the house. [00:54:22] Speaker A: Yeah. No crosses in the house there? [00:54:24] Speaker B: There was, but they didn't really tell me. I don't know. My dad's like, weirdly an atheist for some reason. He's just like a nihilistic person. He just doesn't believe in anything and. [00:54:33] Speaker A: Because he lives in Long Island. [00:54:34] Speaker B: Exactly. Nothing's ever gone right. [00:54:36] Speaker A: So why would he believe anything? [00:54:37] Speaker B: So I don't know. As I get older, I believe in God. [00:54:40] Speaker A: Do you? Do you pray? [00:54:42] Speaker B: No, I never find myself praying. Honestly, I don't. I don't know. What's praying? [00:54:49] Speaker A: That's a good question. [00:54:50] Speaker B: Kneeling by the bed. No. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Yeah. What about like it before? You would if, like, you're just like sitting in the house on the couch and you're like, all right, like, you. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Talk to God on the train up here. I was like, please, God, Please, God. Like, please let me calm down. Please, please, please. [00:55:02] Speaker A: Why were you freaking out? [00:55:03] Speaker B: Long subway rides make. I don't know, I get a little panicky. [00:55:07] Speaker A: Really? [00:55:07] Speaker B: It was a nice ride, but just the lir. The seats are rose. But The New York City subway. Everyone's facing each other. [00:55:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:15] Speaker B: Bugs me out. I don't know why. [00:55:17] Speaker A: So you had a thing with. With anorexia? Yeah, with. And the hand sanitizer. You beat that. You beat the. Out of that. You out of it, dude. And then you have the thing now where you. You, You. You got anxiety, bad, bad panic attacks. [00:55:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:34] Speaker A: Really? [00:55:34] Speaker B: Yeah, for years. It was horrible. It's gotten better. [00:55:37] Speaker A: But, like, you feel like you're having a heart attack. [00:55:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I've been to the hospital like, three times, and they were like, your heart is fine, your lungs are fine. Everything, blood work fine. [00:55:46] Speaker A: I. I was thinking of a up joke. I'm like, like, you know what the worst part about you already had the heart panic attack is? You really never. [00:55:53] Speaker B: You really don't ever know. So I literally had to get paperwork proof. I had to get government proof that I wasn't dying on the spot. But the panic attacks. [00:56:01] Speaker A: Do you. Have you ever taken medication for it? [00:56:03] Speaker B: No. No. [00:56:05] Speaker A: Yo, you're also getting hopped up on stimulants. [00:56:08] Speaker B: It's not at all. I'm doing nothing right. I'm doing nothing right in my life. Like, literally, like, I don't know. Yeah. Long history with panic attacks. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Does the drinking help you calm down? [00:56:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I haven't drank in six days. [00:56:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:21] Speaker B: I'm going to have, like, a couple tonight. I'm gonna keep it to, like, six. Tonight. I'm gonna do two at every mic, take the train, get home. And. Yeah. Long history with. [00:56:32] Speaker A: What about. What about when you perform? Anxiety? Yeah. [00:56:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Stage fright. [00:56:37] Speaker A: Every time. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Pretty almost every time. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Really? [00:56:40] Speaker B: I'll get, like, one. I don't know if the room's full of people I like, that could add pressure to it. [00:56:46] Speaker A: That makes it worse for me. [00:56:47] Speaker B: I know it does, because I want to impress the boys and I don't know. I get anxiety. I've never been calm. I've never had a good day. I've never been comfortable anywhere. I've never had a good day. But I make the best of it, you know, like. And fucked up. [00:57:03] Speaker A: You're. You're a wonderful person, dude. I love. You're really a wonderful guy, and. And people really love you. And it's like, I think you should find ways to. To give you. To calm yourself. You know what I mean? Just because. It's like, I had no idea. You seem like such a chill dude and see that. That's why I love doing like this, because I. I would have never guessed. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Yeah. People. Yeah, people see me as, like, very Happy. Very cheery. I'm up most of the time, like. [00:57:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Like, drunk. I mean, when I'm out doing comedy, I'm kind of buzzed. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. [00:57:35] Speaker A: Do you. Are you happy? [00:57:37] Speaker B: Like, in general, not real. I'm appreciative of life. Yeah, I'm cool. Not happy, though. [00:57:43] Speaker A: What would make you happy? [00:57:45] Speaker B: I don't know. Truly. I don't know where to start. Like, I fully. I don't know. [00:57:51] Speaker A: Has comedy made you feel happier? [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it's also built my confidence a little bit. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I like how. Yeah. Comedy is kind of saving the day, I would say. [00:58:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:02] Speaker B: It's nice because I get to get to express things. The context of being on stage is, you know, I'm saying that I can't really bring up organically in a conversation too often because, like, I don't know. But, yeah, I like it. I like comedy. Yeah. [00:58:22] Speaker A: But if you. Okay, let me ask you this, honestly. [00:58:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:25] Speaker A: And I'm not trying to be an. [00:58:27] Speaker B: No. [00:58:27] Speaker A: If you lost weight, you think that would make you feel. I mean, I think that would reduce your anxiety. [00:58:32] Speaker B: Of course, Physically, I felt so much better. [00:58:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:34] Speaker B: And when you physically feel better, you're mentally. You're eliminated. Yeah. [00:58:38] Speaker A: When you were thin, you weren't exactly mentally sound. [00:58:41] Speaker B: No, I was. [00:58:41] Speaker A: You were. [00:58:42] Speaker B: I was crazy. No. [00:58:44] Speaker A: Purell. No. [00:58:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I was up. [00:58:46] Speaker A: Have you been going to the gym? Yeah. [00:58:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:48] Speaker A: Good. [00:58:48] Speaker B: Yesterday. Let's go to Retro Fitness. Okay. Oceanside, New York. And it's. That high is pretty good. [00:58:57] Speaker A: It's good. [00:58:57] Speaker B: Pretty good. [00:58:58] Speaker A: Good. [00:58:58] Speaker B: The endorphin rush of a long walk. I walk there half a mile. I do a mile on the treadmill, then I walk back a half mile, and I'll, like, lift a little bit and. But it's not like a lifting gym, which sucks. I should have checked the gym out before I went, before I signed up. And. Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to go that route, trying to get high those ways instead of alcohol and caffeine and nicotine and gambling and the eating and. [00:59:25] Speaker A: I mean, I love alcohol and cigarettes, so I get it. And I work out, so cigarettes rule. They really are. [00:59:32] Speaker B: If I give up everything, cigarettes are gonna stick around for a while. [00:59:35] Speaker A: I haven't. That's the one thing I went. Even when I gave up alcohol, cigarettes were the toughest. [00:59:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:40] Speaker A: I. I'm like, I. I need this once in a while. [00:59:42] Speaker B: Yeah. I've been smoking since I was, like, 14. [00:59:44] Speaker A: Me, too. It's more than half your life is a Weird. It's a weird thing to say at 30. [00:59:50] Speaker B: It is so weird, man. But, yeah. [00:59:54] Speaker A: I want you to take care of yourself. I want you to be alive, dude. I want you to be happy. [00:59:56] Speaker B: Thank you, brother. [00:59:57] Speaker A: Seriously. [00:59:58] Speaker B: I know. I gotta do it. Gotta do it for myself, folks. [01:00:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I have to. Let me just get your family for this intervention that we're gonna have guys get in. No, no, seriously. I think you're one of the funniest people. I'm not kidding you. That. I know. [01:00:11] Speaker B: You're the funniest. [01:00:12] Speaker A: No, I'm not. Yeah, no, no, you. You are. When I saw it, you've been doing it less time than me and I. And you craft jokes really well, and you have. You're very likable. That's it. You're very likable. [01:00:24] Speaker B: I hope, man. [01:00:25] Speaker A: God, but I love having you around. I'm glad we met and thank you for. For coming here and doing this. [01:00:30] Speaker B: This is so fun. [01:00:31] Speaker A: Yeah, man. [01:00:32] Speaker B: Do you want to give socials J, E, A, U X devito on everything. [01:00:37] Speaker A: On everything. That's Instagram. You got any shows coming up? [01:00:40] Speaker B: No, I did it. I had, like, seven Saturdays of shows in a row, and they're done. And I'm happy because I could. This is a material building month. [01:00:48] Speaker A: October, I like that. [01:00:49] Speaker B: Just mics every. Every day in October. [01:00:52] Speaker A: I said that about September, and everything sucks still. [01:00:55] Speaker B: So whatever show's coming up, just. Yeah. Thank you. [01:00:58] Speaker A: I love you. All right, man. Thanks. You're the best, dude. [01:01:01] Speaker B: Let's have a cigarette. [01:01:02] Speaker A: Let's do it.
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