Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Well, we're back. We got Steve Messner here. He's not only a comic, but I think a gay police officer.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Is that your joke?
[00:00:15] Speaker A: Yeah, that's my joke.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: I don't got anything.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: Thanks.
[00:00:18] Speaker A: How you doing, Steve?
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Good.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: You were talking about cockroaches in your apartment.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
Telfair, tell me more.
That's your interview question for me.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: It's not interview. It's not a fucking interview. There's a conversation. I want to talk about roaches in the apartment. When you were living in New Jersey, did you have roaches? Any sort of rodents? Yeah.
So then what the fuck? How is it such a big deal living in New York then?
[00:00:42] Speaker B: I thought this was, like, an interview.
Like, I thought we were going to go into my process.
I thought maybe it could be. I thought you were interested in where I come up with my material. And you just want to talk about.
[00:00:52] Speaker A: Roaches, Steve, tell me how you come up with your material.
[00:00:57] Speaker B: I didn't think you actually would ask.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: I'm curious how you come up with your material now.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: It's kind of.
That's like asking, like, where did God come from? Because it's God speaking to me. Oh, you got to listen. You don't. You don't write. You listen.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: And then you just respond to what God sort of brings down to you.
So think of it like.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: I don't know, like, divine intervention. I would say something like that. Yeah.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, you're like Rick Rubin almost. You just feel every.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: A lot. And in a lot of ways.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: It comes out of you.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: I relate to Rick a lot.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: I make sense. I mean, I've heard your material.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: You know. Fucking pigs. That's something God would want you to talk about.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: You know? It is, because it's something that nobody else is talking about. And it's important to talk about these things.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: I mean, bestiality is a very, very hot topic these days.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: It's hot and it's important.
[00:01:52] Speaker A: The thing about talking about that is that people get heated up in the sense of, like, they get aroused when they hear that. So, like, how do you deal with, like, the women jumping on top of you on stage when they hear that?
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Well, it's more the boners that are the problem. It's usually more arousal from the men. Oh. And I'm used to that at this point.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: I've been around a lot of aroused men in my life.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: Doesn't shock me. Growing up on a farm.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Yeah. No, it's the Mexicans.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: They were there.
[00:02:18] Speaker B: My dad Were.
Yeah.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: So who molested you was the Mexicans or your dad?
[00:02:23] Speaker B: It's more of a question of who didn't molest me, you know? So you.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: You were the pig.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: And a lot of. In a lot of ways I was.
Yeah. But it's a coming of age thing, like on a pig farm. That's how you become a man. Okay. You get fucked like the pig by your father.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: And then from there.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: So did you ever see Deliverance or. No?
[00:02:41] Speaker B: No.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: Oh, you should watch it because there's a scene where a guy rapes another guy and he starts screaming, squeal like a pig.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: Sounds to me like this is your life.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: Well, that's the thing. You couldn't squeal.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[00:02:52] Speaker B: That's was like you're a man. Like, you guys have your little step on the glass thing and dance around and all your. Your Jew friends give you their Jew gold and then you become a man. For us it was don't squeal.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Don't squeal.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: You get molested, but don't squeal.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: Be a real man not to squeal. Getting molested.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And. And I did it.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: Yeah, you did it. Wow. You made it. And that was your bar mitzvah.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Now it's the next generation, so I'm kind of excited for that, you know.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: You don't have kids yet, though.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: I don't.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Just. You have a sister.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: I have a sister and a brother.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Okay. Do they have kids?
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Now, I can't keep doing this.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Come on, you want. You wanted to do this. Come on, dude, they're gonna watch.
[00:03:28] Speaker B: I know. I can't talk about that. That's. I guess that's my line.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: That's your line. I don't have one.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: Yeah, that. That's my. What's your process for writing jokes?
[00:03:38] Speaker A: My process is. Is I like, personally, the best jokes come to me when I'm getting molested by my dad. That's usually.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: That still does that.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: He still. I don't know how to write without that.
[00:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: So it really helps.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: A lot of people have that problem. Like they have to smoke a joint and then it's like, I got to quit weed. But I. I don't want to not be able to write. Like, a cigarette gets my mind going, you know? But for you, it's like, gotta get it fucking.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: I gotta get fisted.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: Fisted by your dad.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: That's usually what happens. I call dad. I need. I need another type 5.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: Have you tried another guy?
[00:04:11] Speaker A: No. God, no. I Wouldn't do that to my dad.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: That's me.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: He likes it.
[00:04:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: What do you mean?
[00:04:16] Speaker B: That's nice. How's he doing?
[00:04:18] Speaker A: He's great.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: He's great.
[00:04:19] Speaker A: He's dad, you know, Dad's always good.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: That's good.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: This is so fucking disgusting. Oh, man.
[00:04:24] Speaker B: I was.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Well, is. I didn't even ask you. Is there anything you don't want to talk about?
Is there anything that's like off limits? So you don't want to talk about relationships?
[00:04:33] Speaker B: I just don't want to make jokes about fudgeing my nieces and.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: Okay, so that's where.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: That's pretty much the line.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: We almost got there.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: We almost got there very quickly.
[00:04:41] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: Way quicker than I thought.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: Many minutes have we been doing. Wow, we did that in five minutes.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: It took five minutes to get in the molestation.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Only on this podcast.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: That's what happens.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Special things.
[00:04:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Roaches, we get in. In Jersey. That was the initial question, right?
[00:04:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Did you get rodents or anything like that? I mean, rodents.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: I feel like. Yeah, like, it was. But it was like. I don't know, it was different. Rodents. It's like there's always somebody has like a squirrel in their fucking attic or like a raccoon or shit like that.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: You ever eat squirrel?
[00:05:14] Speaker B: Nah, I never did. I would. I never did.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: You would?
[00:05:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Why not?
[00:05:18] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: I just know these squirrels I wouldn't eat. Not New York City squirrel.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: What's the difference?
[00:05:23] Speaker B: It's the same as the people.
New York City you get. Everybody's such a fucking prick. Everybody needs to, like, show you how big and bad they are. And that's how these fucking squirrels are. Like, I had a balcony in my old apartment and they would just, like, look at you and dare you and take a step and then take another step and get closer and fucking closer. And then you would have to, like.
Like I had to like, try to fucking literally try to actually kick them for them to actually think that I'm fucking crazy enough to not get. Fuck. I was in this big battle with these fucking squirrels. It's only in this fucking city. It's the same as the pigeons with their fucking stupid.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: Well, you need to. You got it. You gotta fucking get by. Well, here's the other thing.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: I almost had a squirrel in my apartment.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: But wouldn't you want to eat that squirrel? No. You rather eat the squirrel whose mining is.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: I want to eat the squirrel. That's eating fucking berries. And like, what they consume, that's different. Yeah, these fucking squirrels are eating the cigarettes. Yes. Literally. Cigarettes. They're eating cigarettes. Yeah, I don't want that meat.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I understand that. I had a girl say to me the other day, I was smoking on the street and we were chatting, and she goes, yeah, I don't litter my cigarettes. And I was like, oh, that's big of you. And she goes, she's from California. She goes, yeah, baby birds eat those. And I was like, what? That's your thing is the baby birds.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: What baby birds?
[00:06:38] Speaker A: I don't know. I've never seen a baby.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Well, they're in the nest. I'm not flicking the cigarette in the trees.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: I just said. I was like, good for you. You're fucking, you know, saving lives. I'm like, honestly, I don't. I love pigeons. I think they're really cute. But I do think if we had a couple less, it wouldn't be the worst.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Hate pigeons. Really. I want to kick a pigeon more than anything. I almost have, you know that people.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: On the street would scold you for that.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: That's why I haven't done it. The only reason, dude, in my. My 7 train, 52nd street, shout out to the 7 train, 52nd street station.
It's riddled with fucking pigeons. Like, they had to shut it down. Really?
[00:07:13] Speaker A: It's that much.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Dude, they flew through my. Like, I'd be walking to work at fucking 7:30, 8:00 clock in the morning, like, miserable.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: And then the fucking pigeon just skims your hair. Yeah, because they're dicks. He don't have to fly that low. He wants to fuck with me.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: They also can't see fucking windows, dude. Maybe they just like, you know.
[00:07:31] Speaker B: No, dude, you can tell.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: I don't know, man. I don't think so.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: You take. You don't take it personal when these fucking animals do this shit.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: No, I grew up here. I. This is.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: What.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: What do you mean, take it? So we're on their turf, you understand?
[00:07:41] Speaker B: No, they're not. No, this is not the woods. This is our turf.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: Yeah, but we took the woods.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Fucking 18,000 generations of pigeons ago. These pigeons don't know the fucking where.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: They'Re used to be.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: Yeah, don't give me that shit. Now. If you go to the woods and start fucking like, fucking with the pigeons and shit. I mean, I don't think there's.
[00:08:01] Speaker A: There's no pigeons there. Pigeons are urban.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, dude, in. In Colombia, the. The pigeons, I love these Pigeons, they didn't have the big fat chests, really. They were just, like, walking around eating seeds on the floor. They're so nice. They had, like, beautiful feathers. I was, like, taking pictures of the pigeons.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Well, that's. I feel like they're. They're probably smaller because they're, you know, they're filled with cocaine. You know, their skin, it's.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: No, they're eating real food and now fucking ice cream cones on the grounds. That's what they're eating.
Maybe, maybe. But no, these fucking pigeons are on cocaine.
The ones here, the ones that seem like their own coke did.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: There's a video went around and went viral a while ago of a pigeon, like, dipping its head in a bag of coke.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: And it was just, I believe, was great.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Dude, the animals in this city, I really think they emulate the people in a way of, like, just high stress, intense fucking.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Because you need to be. To get by.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: To get by. I know.
[00:08:53] Speaker A: Have to be. Let me ask you something. You've lived in New York how long?
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Nine years now.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Nine. Okay. That's a long time.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: It doesn't seem like it.
[00:08:59] Speaker A: But you're telling me that you're not different now.
[00:09:02] Speaker B: Of course. Yeah.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: This place fucks you up. It makes you. The cortisol levels are through the roof.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: And you're stressed out all the time.
[00:09:08] Speaker B: Yeah. And every. Like, everything is like, what the fuck are you doing this for? Like, you know, because people do fuck with, like. I noticed that driving in the city.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: Everybody just wants to get over on you, whether it helps them or not. I get cut off in traffic when both lanes are the same. I have a stick shift, so I keep it in first. And when it's, like, slow traffic and try to slowly go, if there's an opening, even if the car in front of me is not going anywhere and the car in front of them isn't going, they'll just cut you off just to get there and be stuck in your lane because there is a space there. And it's like, you're just doing this because you want to say you fuck somebody over.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: They do that a lot. I. I've noticed that where I'll. If I'm gonna, like, switch lanes on the highway.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: If I signal, they speed up. That's it. They always.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: They don't want me.
[00:09:50] Speaker A: Like, I'm gonna go. They speed up. They don't ever have a moment of like, oh, I saw the signal.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: It's.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: It's. If they see the signal, they're not letting you In So you got to cut them off.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: You will. But it's also because they identify a weakness. They're like, you're going slow. I'm just going to go fucking cut you off and get in front of you. And then they stop. And then now you have to fucking stop. And in a stick shift, it's just constantly fucking riding the clutch and shit. So like. Yeah, yeah, it's awful. So I hate these fucking drivers. Everybody says New Jersey drivers. I think Florida drivers are the worst.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: They're bad.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: I don't know if New York drivers are bad, but they're just pricks. Every single one of them is 100.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: Yeah, 100%. So let me ask you why the do you live here? I don't sound like you hate it.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: I don't know, dude.
[00:10:29] Speaker A: It's.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: I mean, because live in Depford, New Jersey for a while at least. It's like there's something to do.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Do you think you'll move back at some point? Like when you want a family?
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Maybe. I. I don't know. We've thought about even going to like, Philly. Maybe hanging out in Philly for a couple years.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: I am Philly trash.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Technically. Yeah. They're.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: They're a level of their different type of asshole or trash. And which. It makes me feel like when I go to Philly and like I just hear everybody talking with this shitty accent. Like, just like, well, what the fucking. Fucking shit is that? And it just makes me feel good. Like it makes me feel at home. And I'm like, you fit in there. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the thing I don't understand about is it Philadelphians. Philadelphia. Philadelphia.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: I don't know. You can call whatever the people from Philly, we're not douchebag. Prideful New Yorkers. Like, I'm a New Yorker. That's what you gotta call me.
It's not like a thing us New Yorkers. Nobody's like us Philly. And.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: Well, the thing about people from Philly that I don't understand is they destroy the city when their teams win.
[00:11:31] Speaker B: You guys would too, if your teams won anything.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was uncalled for. True. I don't think we would. I don't.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: You will, dude. Trust me.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: When the Knicks were in the playoffs last year, yeah, they got a little rowdy.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: They got rowdy for the second round.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: They. But they.
[00:11:47] Speaker B: There's like five rounds.
[00:11:49] Speaker A: They. They didn't destroy the place, dude.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: They were getting there. They were fucking getting there.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: They were revved up, dude.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: They Were like, they were a finals appearance away from like burning Madison Square. 911 Strikes Back.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: It is. I will say those videos are concerned. You ever watch New Yorkers or anything? Those videos of interviewing the guys outside of the.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: I mean, that's what I love about New Yorkers is they do care about their shit more than they should the way like we do. So, like. Yeah, it.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: There is a very similar.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I actually lost in New York and Philly. Yeah.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: I like, I was to Boston first time ever a couple years ago. And it's. It's a cool city. Yeah, it's a cool city. Very PC. Very.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: Really way more.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: I was expecting like Whitey Bulger type people.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: All I got was Chinese Harvard people.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Because you got to go to the places you don't want to be to get the people you like.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: I went to the north end. I went to the north end with the Italian part. That was actually okay, but it was a little touristy. It was Christian.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: You're like. That was a little racist. The Italians were a little racist. I like those. Not enough better.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: My liking. But they were close.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah, they were getting there.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: They were. They're good people.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: What's. I forgot I've been there a couple times, but I don't know, like north versus south and all that. Like, what's the up north? Is that the. That's not the stadium, right? The stadium?
[00:13:03] Speaker A: No, that's a different area. I don't even know exactly. I just know that I. We were in the North End, me and Eli, and then we took a train to Fenway and I don't know where that took me.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: But like, I. I don't think it was.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: Maybe it was south, but I think.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: Like this southeast, that's like. Actually, isn't that like outside of the city a little bit?
[00:13:21] Speaker A: It's a little further out.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:22] Speaker A: I stayed in Somerville, which was a very fucking PC now, which apparently used to be like it used to. Whitey Bulger. It's not far from Winter Hill where Winter Hill gang used to be.
[00:13:34] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:13:34] Speaker A: Which is all Irish and now it's just like red hair, blue hair and.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: You know, it was red haired when it was Irish.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:13:40] Speaker B: Hair. Yeah.
So how did you find out, like their PC, were you just screaming the N word and waiting for some reaction and they.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I did. And they got.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: They didn't like it.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: You believe that a white straight man yelling the N word is a problem?
[00:13:55] Speaker B: I mean, maybe if you were gay, you could get away with it. I don't Think that who you're fucking matters with the N word. I think it's just off limits.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: It's awesome matter what like that.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: But we got to do something about.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: To really change things.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Thanks a lot, Mom. Donnie.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Fucking. You want to get started? Get me wrapped up.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: Let's do Zoron, man. We can do mom. Donnie.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: I don't. So at the show last night, I. When I got up, I asked people because someone mentioned Zoron, I think it was Noah. And I got up and I went, so who here voted for Zoron? Everyone raised their hands.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: I go, who here is from New York and voted for Zoron? And a good portion of them raised their hands and I went, you traitors.
Then they didn't like that.
No, but I. I don't understand.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: That's not even a joke. That's just asking their what they. Their political views are and then calling them fucking the worst thing in the world.
Traders. Not even like dummies like you turned your back on us like. Yeah. Did you think they were gonna like give you a standing. Oh, that point?
[00:14:55] Speaker A: Think I really thought I was gonna have him because I thought no one in that room was from New York.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Yeah. That's why I thought I have him.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I would have thought the same.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: And then at that point I would have said, all right, that makes sense.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: And there's no joke there. It's just me being a fucking asshole.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Well, you know what? I was thinking about that it's kind of ironic. I don't know if ironic is the right word, but like in a way, and I don't even know. I don't know. I just thought about this recently, so it could make no fucking sense. Okay, but like with all of like the landlords having these fucking people from outside of New York coming in, like me. Yeah, but not.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: But you're from Georgia.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: I feel like I'm not close enough. Yeah, yeah. It's not like the rich kid from Ohio whose dad is paying for their loft and shit. Yep. They raised those people came in, they saw a chance to make money, so they raised the shit out of prices to drive out the people who care about New York. So all these people come in, then they get their IDs and of course they're going to vote for somebody like Zuron who's now fucking over the. The landlords who fucked over the people to begin with. So not saying that he's some hero or that he has the right views for the city, but in a way it's kind of like poetic justice to what I don't know poetic justice means, but I think that's how you use it, right?
[00:16:05] Speaker A: I would think so. Here's the thing though. Here's my, my. Where I go, okay, I understand that. I get that. And as someone who, like, yeah, I would. I'm not a rich guy, so I'm like, yeah, I could see that. But like, as someone who is a. I think I'm. I'm a decent critical thinker.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: You know, I'm not the smartest guy, but I'm. I could think critically. And I just go. And I'm not. Like I said, I don't know much about much, but I'm like, it sounds like communism to me. You know what I mean?
[00:16:33] Speaker B: No, it's democratic socialism. Those words are different than the word communism. Communism starts with a C and then communism. These words, completely different letters. You know, how could you ever put those two together?
[00:16:46] Speaker A: I. That's what I fucking. Yeah, you're right. Stupid. I'm so. How could you think I'm an idiot?
[00:16:52] Speaker B: It's so fun. I completely agree that.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: But that's what I'm like, how do you not go, like, just question it? Like, you hear. My whole argument was just. When you're hearing. When you're hearing everything you want to hear, there's something up. You know what I mean? And most politicians do that. So why don't you go, well, if he's telling me everything I want to hear and that guy who's a politician, who I know is a piece of.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: Shit'S telling me, let me tell you.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Why am I not questioning this?
[00:17:14] Speaker B: I saw a thing, it was hilarious to me, me. It was like, do the free press, do you like follow them and all? It's like a.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: Not really.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: It's like a lady who was in the New York Times and then they didn't. She said something non like on their agenda, so they kicked her out. So she started her own thing, Barry Wise or whatever. Okay. But it's like the closest thing to like fair journalism that I found where it seems like they'll give both sides of the story.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: But anyway, they were just interviewing people who voted for Mandani. And the one quote was like, I've never seen a political movement like this in my life. And it was an 18 year old NYU student. And it's like, this is the only political movement you've seen in your life?
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Like, Yep.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: You were 13 when Covid happened. Like, what are we talking about? Like, so it's just the exciting, fun thing. Like we've all kind of been excited about a politician's views at one point where you think something is, they're going to be a certain way and then they're not. Right. It happens on both sides.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: It's. What.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: But it's, they always, it's like a recurring thing because there's always new people who haven't gotten fooled by a politician to get fooled by a politician.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: You know, that's, that's the thing. And that's the truth of it. And, and you go, it's nice to be a part of something. It is. Like whether. Yeah, yeah. You go, oh, this is cool. And, and it's, it's. You think it's a good thing. Like you're not doing it because you think it's bad. I, yeah, I don't think these people are bad people. But you go, oh, this is nice. And this is a young guy who could, I could relate to as a 31 year old man. Yeah. When I see a 33 year old guy who's never had a job, he's.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: Younger than me and he's going to run the fucking city.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: He's going to run New York City, the most important city will say on the planet.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: Sure. You know, in a way every New Yorker would say, but yeah, but I'm, but like, no, I know, you're right. It is, it is.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: As far as like, you know, the world goes, all the money is here. Yeah. So I sit there and I just go, I couldn't. I've had jobs. I know I would. No, absolutely not. And theory, it all sounds nice, but I just can't understand how. Here's the other.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: But I would say the, the only argument I agree with you, but the thing people would say is like, you're like, I fucking suck at all my jobs. Why would this guy be able to be good at his fucking job? Well, I get fired all the fucking time and I'm his age. It's like that might be a you problem. You know what I mean?
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Like, I'll play devil's advocate. Yeah, I'll play devil's advocate. I had the same, the way these people are going, well, he's, he's brand new. He's not tainted by the system.
I looked at Trump.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: And when I was going, he's not a politician.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: And I had the same exact thing.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: However, but he is a politician because he's running for politics.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: Well, now he is.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: He's a politician.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: I meant 2016.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: No, I know, I know, but that's the logical flaw. That happens, of course.
[00:19:53] Speaker A: But everyone was like, he's brand new.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: He's not changing.
[00:19:56] Speaker B: He's already. He's already rich. He can't be bought. All that kind of.
[00:19:59] Speaker A: Kind of shit.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: So I understand that, but. Yeah.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: Then Saudi Arabia gives them a private jet and shit. Right?
[00:20:06] Speaker A: Dude, that's fucking awesome.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: But I don't know, man. I will say the marketing. This is a marketing master scheme of.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: I don't even think it was marketing. Wait, you're saying Mamdani again? Yeah, I think it was just.
[00:20:25] Speaker B: Every other option has already proven to fail. I city when, like, the only responses is the guy like Cuomo, who they already ran out of the city or ran out of the town for apparently. Whatever he did.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: Sexual assault.
[00:20:41] Speaker B: I'm sure he was a creep, but it seems like the timing of that was interesting. Of when they were kind of like. He kind of killed all those people.
You touched that lady's ass, too. Get him out. Don't talk about the people he killed.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: He's a murderer and a rapist.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: Forget about the murder. Just get him on the rape.
And then you're just like, oh, no, this guy. This is your guy. Yeah. It's like you just were telling us we should hate this guy like, a year ago, and now you're trying to say he's the savior of the city.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: There's nobody else that. Well, that's the problem.
[00:21:08] Speaker B: A guy that wears a stupid hat and does karate in this, in the subways, and fucking Cuomo. That's it.
I like, this is what we deserve. If that's the only other fucking options.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: I. I tend to agree with that. You know what? Let's.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: This is.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: This is where we're at.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: Fine. Yeah.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: And honestly, a lot of people, and I think this is where liberals are different than. I think they're both crazy. But I think that if you're in the center, you feel this way. Where you go, I don't want him to fail. I don't want Mom Donnie to fail. I want him to make the city better. Like, if I wanted him to fail, that'd be fucking stupid. I mean, I live here, so I'm. Now I'm like, all right, well, I hope he does the right thing. I hope whatever works.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Whereas I think people are like, if Trump came in and fucked everything up, they were like, good, good. See service. I know. You still live here.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: No, of course. I. Like, I hope I'm wrong about that. Yeah, right. I hope that what? Whatever he wants to do is a good thing. I don't know if it will be, but whatever.
Of course you don't. Like. I completely agree. Like, people do that with Trump. They're, like, happy when he fucks up and it's like, he's fucking your country.
Why are you happy about.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: I know.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Or upset if he does something good or refuses to give him credit? If something goes well, they have to find the turn that makes it bad. And it's like, it's not.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: It's.
[00:22:21] Speaker B: Why do you want to be upset about a good thing happening to your country?
[00:22:26] Speaker A: It's beyond insane.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: And I'm broke as shit right now, so I'm kind of like, sure, Mom. Donnie do all this fucking shit.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: And on that level, I could see it, and I just go, all right. I just. I couldn't believe it. I will say this, and I've mentioned this before where I. You look at Zoran's logo. You ever see it?
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Nah, dude, it's so, like, I thought old American cool. Really? Yeah.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: And he used the Knicks logo, too, which they ended up filing a cease and assist against.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: I heard that. Yeah.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: I thought was funny, but he had. It looked like in 1940 style. Like, color was perfect.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:01] Speaker A: And it made you feel, like, good.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: But do you think that's why people voted for him? Was the fucking.
[00:23:06] Speaker A: You want to know something? Probably with the way the world is, and it's like, ooh, aesthetics.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: And aesthetics. As I said that, I was like, yeah, actually, probably so. It's a rhetorical.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: People had the posters up in their house. Like, have you ever had a politician's poster in your fucking room, dude?
[00:23:20] Speaker B: And that's the thing that I hate with these Trump cucks that put a fucking Trump flag up outside. It's like, aren't you supposed to be American? Why are you putting a non American flag up outside of your house? Oh, Trump, to me, that's, like, fucking crazy. And these are the guys that are supposed to be the most American dudes ever, and they're putting a dude's name flag in. It's gay. You know, like, politics aside, anytime people.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: I would never do it.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Or like the. The Hope and the Change posters.
Well, that was another marketing.
[00:23:48] Speaker A: That was a great market. Another great marketing, where you're like, that looks cool.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: My theory is Trump saw what Obama did from a campaign standpoint and just copied it and flipped it to the right. Change and Hope are completely broad, nonsensical statements that he just ran on, and everybody got stoked on yeah. Make America great again. Makes no fucking sense. It's just a broad nonsense statement. And just like they kind of did exactly that. They both were like unconventional black guy, non politician guy. Right. Like, it was like, this is something different. This is something different.
And they both like. I think they ran the same exact campaign. Just flipped, dude.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: And that's what Zoran did. I think it's all the marketing. It's so key now to get people sucked in. It's like, I.
I don't know. I mean, I.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: Look, I'm.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: I'm. I'm curious. I. I think personally that New York City comedy is going to get really, really fun with this guy in office.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: Because I think there's going to be a lot of shit and a lot of pushback from either the right. Because there's still right people who lean right in New York. And I just think if things go really bad, it'll be fun for comics. If things go really good, it's. It'll be fun for comics.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: But like, yeah, on the political side, it's like when things go bad, they just always find a way to twist it on. It's not their guy's fault, it's everything else's fault. They always can do that.
Was I gonna say about him dying? I don't know if he's actually gonna be able to do anything anyway because he is 34 or whatever. Like, does he really know how to get like the fun if he's gonna try to defund the police? That fucking union is like the strongest union in the world. The police union. They're gonna fucking get him killed or something. You know what I mean? Like, so like, whatever the. I don't even know if he's actually trying to do that. I haven't paid attention much to what he's saying, but I don't know how much he's actually going to get done.
But on the comedy side, and let's say you had. I'm rambling.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: On the comedy side, I find it so interesting how scared people are to say a bad thing about Mamdani.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: It's disturbing.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: If they make a joke that's slightly against them, they'll say, I mean, not that. I mean, I did vote for him. Like they have to say, and I voted for him. And then they go back into their joke because they're so scared. Scared.
That's what they do so well too. Like, I think this democratic socialism movement, they make you a morally bad person if you disagree with him. Instead of just having a fundamental Disagreement on what's the best thing for the city. They make you a bad person.
[00:26:16] Speaker A: You know why? Because he's a brown guy and you'll be labeled as a racist. That's gonna be the first thing that becomes.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: And if you any. If he's a white guy, you'll still be labeled a racist or something like. Like, Bernie Sanders against Bernie Sanders. People get upset if you say, I think Bernie Sanders is kind of a douche, which I kind of do. People get so upset with you.
[00:26:34] Speaker A: That is true.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: It gets so mad.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Well, then you're an ageist.
[00:26:40] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
That's what I noticed. I fucking love watching these comics. Like, so. I mean, maybe it's our level where it's like. Because everybody's just so, like, desperate to be like, somebody liked or something. Or get a half a step above.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:55] Speaker B: Or like, have the crowd turn on you for a second. A lot of comedians are scared to do that. You wouldn't say you are.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: I'm not scared of that.
[00:27:04] Speaker B: Maybe too much to apply.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: It's almost hurting me.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah, you're gonna dig in the hole. You just gotta learn how to climb out.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: I can't climb.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: But people are terrified of digging a tiny little hole where it's like.
A lot of these people, I'm sure, don't like the guy or they are kind of opinionless on him. Like me. I don't follow. I still have a New Jersey license. Anyway, I can't vote for it, so, like, I'd be fucked up for me to have a strong opinion on it. Obviously, I have an opinion, but I don't take it that seriously, and I don't pay that much attention to it. And I think a lot of people don't pay that much attention to it, but they see what the popular cool kid thing in class to do right now, which is to be like, he's awesome, and you're an old fucking racist if you don't think that he is.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:52] Speaker B: So they're scared. It's so funny how scared they are.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: I've noticed that. I've noticed that a lot where people. I saw someone on stage the other day do it, and I was like.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: He.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: He was. He was like, I think it was funny how the conservatives are crying about Mom. Dani's. I'm like, no one's crying, dog. I'm like, what are you talking about? And. And it just was him pandering.
[00:28:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:10] Speaker A: He voted for mom. Donnie.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: And I'm like, almost in my. The way I am is like, if everyone is doing it. I almost don't. Even if I want to do it, I almost don't because I want to just prove a point.
[00:28:21] Speaker B: I've like, I think molded. I think I been thinking about this. I think I've molded my political views on which side I'd want to. Like, I hate more like, and not hate, but annoys me more. Yeah. And like a lot of this like, like, like Democratic socialists, it's like so pretentious but poorly thought out. And like, it's pretentious in a way. They think they know everything.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: And I think when I talk to like over the top conservatives, they don't have that. Like, I know better than you. Yeah, they just talk whatever madness they talk and I get more annoyed at that. I know better than you. So then I just find every reason that that's not correct. I know. I mean, I agree with like, but overall I'm like, yeah, they both always fuck up. So I don't know.
[00:29:05] Speaker A: That's the thing. I'm in the center. I have beliefs on both sides and I just, I can't. It just the, the left annoys me way more way, way. And it's not like the normal, it's the far left.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: But you know what? It also is because.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: My hometown is probably, I don't know, it's probably very split. But like, like, like I would say like certain people, like a couple of my friends are like more from home, are more left leaning but center, center, you know, maybe probably pretty similar to me. You know, maybe they're slightly more to the left, I'm slightly more to the right. Maybe we're, I don't know. But the thing is they're surrounded by these annoying loudmouth conservatives that only watch Fox News and they see like one clip of something and then they base all like the same thing with like, oh, the, the conservatives are crying. That's because there was one clip of a conservative pissed off. And then like the, these conservatives see the video of like the blue haired lady crying when Hillary lost. Like, oh, all these Democrats are crying over it. It's like, no, that was like one probably mentally ill lady who maybe had a bad week. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. And then also this happens.
[00:30:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: And now she's just got. Or she got raped the day before and then Hillary lost and she's like, whoa, fog.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: Like it's the worst week ever.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: It's like, oh, these crime. Yeah. Like it could be. You don't know if she got raped or not. There's no, there's no literature on that.
[00:30:32] Speaker A: I will say this. When Trump won in 2016, I was in school at the time and the amount of. I was in theater program, so.
[00:30:41] Speaker B: Well, that's what I. They went.
[00:30:43] Speaker A: They lost their minds, dude.
[00:30:44] Speaker B: That's theater people, dude.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: That's true. It's not everyone.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: They. They use their emotions more. They're trained to use their emotions more in every situation. They like to.
[00:30:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:55] Speaker B: And they do in these. And. And that's also the cultiest political thing that I've seen because they need to be on the right team to get parts. So it's even more important for their livelihood. It's not just to get invited to the party. It's for a part in a movie or whatever. Yeah. So of course they're going to be the worst. But you can't put that on everybody.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: No, I agree.
[00:31:15] Speaker B: You know, and. Yeah, so I got a lot of people that are kind of centrist, I would say, like, I don't know. I hate using words like that, but like. Like we're saying. Yeah, but they hate the conservatives way more because they're surrounded by the ones.
[00:31:27] Speaker A: So it's ever. Whoever the more annoying group you're surrounded by is the one you're going to.
[00:31:30] Speaker B: Hate, and then you lean to the other side. Yeah. So that's where. I think that's what.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's what's going to happen more in New York, I think, is that people are going to start leaning right again if the shit.
[00:31:40] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's kind of what happened with the country. When Biden was in. Everybody was like, wait, this is really their. Their solution? And then everybody was like, fuck it, I just vote for this psycho.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: Reality TV guy. Things were a little better when he was in. It's better than the brain dead guy. And I think. Yeah, something like that. I think people are gonna be like, maybe we should actually try to get a second party to run and, like, figure out a reasonable Republican guy that maybe could.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: That'll happen, though.
[00:32:09] Speaker B: You don't think it could ever happen again?
[00:32:11] Speaker A: I don't think so, dude. I think we'll fall before that happens.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: I don't know, man. I think we might be at a part of, like, a, like the middle of the storm where, like, everything is so fucking chaotic that I think something's got to emerge out of this. There's always another generation that's going to be different than where we're at. And the hope. I think it's possible that, like, the more reasonable side will start to emerge. Because that is what everybody. Everybody I talk to on both sides. Mamdani voters. Fucking. I've never met a Sylvia or whatever that guy's name is, but whatever.
People who consider themselves democratic socialists, people who consider themselves conservatives. Classic Democrats, classical or whatever. All the fucking groups are all just like, I want somebody who's reasonable and not gonna make a spectacle out of every fucking thing they do in office. And we haven't seen that, I would say, since Bush.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: Well, here's the thing, dude. No one reasonable would ever get into politics.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: I know that's. That's a problem, dude. There's no way fucking proud.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: No normal person wants to do because reason.
[00:33:11] Speaker B: If you use reason, you would say, I'm never doing this fucking job.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: Yep, that's the problem. Yeah.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: That's the problem with democracy, huh?
[00:33:18] Speaker A: Yeah. Because the smart. The people who. Who are actually like decent people. I don't want to deal with this.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's funny. I, like, I remember Rogan used to talk about this years ago. He's like, they should have instead of a president, a guy who's, like, really good with money to handle the money and a guy. And he's basically just described the government.
[00:33:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: It's like, that's what we do. Like, but again, yeah, like, if your guy was really good with money, then, you know, the more money is better. So why would you take a government job?
[00:33:47] Speaker A: That's what you do it.
[00:33:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: Unless you're Nancy Pelosi.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: But that's true.
That's why you would do it. To fuck us over. To ex.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Get more.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right.
[00:33:56] Speaker A: Oh, man. I don't know, dude. I don't know. I think. I hope it's gonna be an interesting time.
It's.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: I.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: What I hope doesn't happen. And I don't know. I mean, I went to Chicago a couple months ago, but they have the. The National Guard there now, apparently. Or they were. They were bringing in the National Guard. And I'm like, yo, that's. My dad was saying, goes. It's not a good thing, but maybe we're gonna need that when Mom Donnie comes. And I was like, you don't want the federal government policing. Like, you don't want that. That's not a good thing. But if it comes down, that's what I'm more nervous about.
Did you see Mamdani's acceptance? And I'm. Look, I'm not the most political.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: I just saw one quote that, like, bothered me where he said, there's no problem Too big or too small for the government to handle.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: There was that. And then he said about Trump, he goes, trump, turn up the volume. Like, it was. It was like a hit. I get Trump and you're my dude. Do you want to get money from the go? Like, what are you doing?
[00:34:46] Speaker B: Aren't we a country that's supposed to work together? Like, as a politician, it's your job to, like, put away your differences and say, all right, how can we work together even though you're a complete fucking asshole. Yeah, we're on the same team now, so what the fuck can we do? Like, we've all worked in an office.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: We do it.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Everybody don't. Like, you have to do that shit.
[00:35:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's beyond me to say that. And then Trump came out like, I'm still the fucking brat. You're the mayor.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: And of course Trump's not going to be mature enough to be like, let me try to work with this kid. No. He's going like, fuck me, f. Ck you.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: Yeah. He'll be like, new York City will crumble.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: Now watch. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: And that's scary.
[00:35:19] Speaker B: But does Trump. Can he crumble the city?
[00:35:22] Speaker A: I don't know. But we could also crumble it from the inside out, and then Trump won't help.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: Yeah, right. But, yeah, I don't know. I don't know how it's all going to work out. I don't know what the. The National Guard in these cities. I've heard one side say it's barbaric over government, overreach from the side that wants more government.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:42] Speaker B: And then the other side's like, all they're doing is cleaning up the parks. What's wrong with them cleaning up the parks? They're just putting the trash in the trash can. Like, it's probably somewhere in between the two.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: That's the thing, you know?
[00:35:52] Speaker B: Like, I don't think these guys are being totally great guys, but they're also probably not like Nazi Germany type shit either. I don't know.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: But it also starts that way sometimes.
[00:36:02] Speaker B: Where you go, yeah, oh, it's probably.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: It's fine. Let them come in.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: It's fine.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: And then next thing you know, you're living in again. Like, I'm not. I'm not using. I'm not saying Jews are going to happen here, but, you know, you end up and go way.
[00:36:11] Speaker B: Already happened here.
[00:36:12] Speaker A: No, I know. Which is a message happens here.
It's funny, though. I made a joke the other day. I was on stage and I was like, my mom, Donnie won. I'm like, he did it. And I go, you know, I'm not a conservative guy, but I'm a Jewish guy. And I think I'm gonna start digging my tunnel so I can get away from this guy.
[00:36:32] Speaker B: Do you think he's actually gonna be, like, so against the Jews, or do you think that was just, like, trying to get the Jews to vote for Cuomo? Like, do you think they blew that up just to try to get the vote?
[00:36:42] Speaker A: I saw some videos of her in the past of, like.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: I saw a couple weird ones.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Where I went. This guy, I think he. He. He's not saying he hates the Jews, but I think his heart hates the Jews. You know what I mean?
[00:36:53] Speaker B: He was in, like, his high school's Jewish society or something.
It was like the Judaic society of.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: What was he doing there? It's spying.
That's probably.
[00:37:03] Speaker B: Probably this comic was just telling me he went to the same high school as he did in, like, it was a Forest Hills or something like that. And he was going through the old yearbook that he was in, and he. There's a picture of him with, like, what looked. Appears to be a Jew fro in the Judaic society.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: Like, this guy was planting a seed from the beginning. He knew what he was gonna do.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: No, I. I don't know if he hates him or not, but I do know that I've seen, like, super, super, super radical Islam people who. Who are now not that way anymore, like, little clips on the Internet.
[00:37:35] Speaker B: And look, dude, he's in his 20s.
[00:37:36] Speaker A: No, no, not him. Not him. I'm saying I know old people.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:37:40] Speaker A: Who used to be radicalized, and now they're not. I've spoken about, like, the thing, and I'm just going off of what I see. I didn't watch any whole interviews. It's just clips. So I could be taking out of context, but them saying, like, the whole. The Muslim thing here is.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: Is they.
[00:37:55] Speaker A: They. They want to. Like, this is the. Planting the seed of then getting. You know, they want the liberals to care about gay marriage and all this other shit. He's like. Because the liberals don't have any principles. He goes. And that's. Those are the people, like, that will get a Muslim guy in and then eventually sort of take their principle. You know what I mean? Am I making any sense?
[00:38:15] Speaker B: So basically, like.
Because.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Like, the liberal side of things is kind of no religion. No, no.
[00:38:23] Speaker A: Like, yeah, there's nothing. There's.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: They kind of replace the religion with helping out the downtrodden, basically, to put it in nice ways and not be that like. I just don't want to sound like the guy that's like their religions, the gays and the.
[00:38:37] Speaker A: No, but you know what I mean?
[00:38:39] Speaker B: But like, in that sense, it kind of is. It's like because you got to put that energy into something and it's like, so that's what they put it into. So what you're saying is that these people who are ex. Islamic extremists, according to the video you watched, are saying the.
The plan is to get these people on our side because they have no values, and then we'll easily be able to conquer them once we get the power.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: That's what I've. I've heard. And it's. And I mean, if you look at it. And I'm not saying Muslims are the. Are bad people, because there's plenty of Muslims I know that are great.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: But how many do you know that are great? Name me one.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: My friend Essen. He's a good guy.
[00:39:16] Speaker B: I don't think he exists, but keep going.
[00:39:19] Speaker A: He's. I think that it's.
It's.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: The Muslim, the religion. They don't want Western culture. Like, the hardcore extremists. They don't want this society. And like, if you slowly start to plant the seeds, like, you saw people. What was happening in Gaza. I felt bad that there were people dying. That's horrible. Like, you know, here comes the.
[00:39:40] Speaker B: But. But they were using them as human shields.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: It was, it was the. The super duper libs going free Palestine. I want to, you know, like, joining, like.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: And you go, the gays for Palestine. Right?
[00:39:52] Speaker A: Like the gays like, stuff like that.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: And you go.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: You don't. You click. Clearly don't understand what they. They don't want you alive.
[00:39:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, but not all. Like, again, they.
[00:40:00] Speaker A: That's not all. I know, but. I don't know another religion that wants to kill you for being gay.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: Well, fundamental Christianity says you're gonna burn an eternal hell if you're gay.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: That's after.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it's less of a threat, I guess. Yeah, it's after, but still, that's your.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: Choice if you want to burn in hell later.
[00:40:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You know, right now you can suck and all you want, but it's.
[00:40:21] Speaker A: And I'm not saying the fundamental Christians are smart. They're nuts too.
[00:40:24] Speaker B: You're just saying the Jews are the.
[00:40:25] Speaker A: Are the best people in the world.
[00:40:26] Speaker B: D. Yeah, they don't have any bet They've never done anything a Little dicey.
[00:40:30] Speaker A: They're fine, dude.
But, yeah, this got super political. I didn't mean to make it all about.
[00:40:35] Speaker B: Thanks, dude. Now I think. Are we. Are we proud boys?
We proud boys. We did a little conspiracy theory there.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: I have a white sheet in the back.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I'll check it out.
[00:40:46] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. Do they like you? These feet?
[00:40:50] Speaker A: These feet are people nasty now.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: I'm like, this is, like, what gets the views. Those fucking things.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: Yeah. This alone will get people tuned in.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
I almost got a pedicure before this.
[00:41:00] Speaker A: And then I don't get pedicures. These nasty fuckers. They don't care.
[00:41:02] Speaker B: What. What's the timestamp at this point for that right now?
[00:41:08] Speaker A: 41 minutes.
[00:41:08] Speaker B: All right, 41. 34.
[00:41:10] Speaker A: Oh, they're coming off.
Yeah. You have no idea how many more views this is gonna get now.
[00:41:19] Speaker B: Hello. Feed people.
Hello.
[00:41:22] Speaker A: It's crazy, dude.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: I. I'm telling you, this is so gross to do. I feel like it's nasty, right? You know, I'm used to it now.
[00:41:28] Speaker A: But at first I was like, this is kind of. I don't know. I'm thinking about making a Patreon.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: I'm feeling like a. Right now, but I'm doing it, like. No, I would definitely get cast and couched.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: It's empty. No. Either way, I don't want your sock. I don't want you to drink it. Yeah, they would have come if you did that.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: Oh, dude, I will not do that. That's where I draw the line.
[00:41:44] Speaker A: I'm thinking about making a Patreon where we do most of the interview, feet covered, and then have people pay, like, three, four dollars.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. Or blur them.
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Blur them out. And then, hey, sign up for the Patreon if you want to watch the feet.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: Yeah, you should. Dude.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: It would be.
[00:41:57] Speaker B: Honestly, you should.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: I mean, I'd make a killing.
[00:41:59] Speaker B: Do it, because some people will pay for it.
[00:42:02] Speaker A: Nuts. I know.
[00:42:03] Speaker B: And that's more than you're getting paid for the podcast right now. No one's do it.
[00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:08] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. Fucking do it.
[00:42:10] Speaker A: Maybe you'll get to see. And it's only just for 5.99.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: You can bump up the price.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: But how's. How's. How's comedy going? How you feeling about it?
[00:42:20] Speaker B: I'm, like, in a writing rut. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I have the shit that I know can work, but now I'm, like, a little bit over it. So even when I perform it, I feel like I'm not giving it what it should. But then I write new shit, and I just get like, this sucks. This sucks too much. I don't really work anything out the way I should work it out. I quit on a bit. Way too early.
[00:42:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: You know, that's what I'm, like, fucking stuck with right now. It's been that way for a couple months, too, because it's like, you work. Like, this year was a lot of me, like. Like, I did, like, a competition. I was, like, doing more shows this year than I've ever done. Where before was, like, all mics. So you kind of want to, like, bring something so you really, like, work a type 5 and all that.
What would my 10 be? This, this, this. And then after a while, you have nothing else but that. Yeah. And it's like, all right, I'm fucking pig farmer. Everybody remember? And, you know, like. And there's always more. We're not at the level where our material is at the top that it can be, yet it's just not gonna. I hope not.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Never gonna be. I hope to never get there. You can.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Exactly. And you can sharpen it. You can always sharpen a bit, I think.
[00:43:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:26] Speaker B: But then it's like I sit down and write new shit, and, like, maybe I come up with something.
I've been doing a lot of getting stoned and writing something, and then in my mind, like, oh, my God, this is perfect for my special. This is gonna be what puts me over the fucking top. I can just, like, I see the crowd, like, being like, a Def Jam comic, like, for the bit. And then I go up and do it, and no one's even, like, fucking giving it any shits about what I said. And then I'm just like, oh, fuck. I thought that was gonna be awesome, and it kind of sucked.
[00:43:56] Speaker A: Well, have you been looking at the old stuff, trying to change things around or add shit to it? Because sometimes that can make it more exciting.
[00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I've done that a little bit. I've actually. A couple bits that I've been able to, like, make good that were shitty three years ago. Like, I've done that a little bit this year, too.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: But, yeah, it's just, like, I don't have a good, like, writing routine right now. You know what I mean?
[00:44:18] Speaker A: It's hard. Well, here's the thing that helped me whenever I was in a rut, and I do it now more than ever. I don't write much at home anymore, and I'll write on stage. And that's been the thing where I have a topic in my head.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: Mm.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: I didn't. I thought a little bit about. It's got no punchlines, nothing. And I just talk about it. I go up to the mic, I go, all right. And I know it's not gonna give me laughs, but, like, just talking it out, your brain is a little firing quicker than it would in your kitchen.
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Huh.
[00:44:41] Speaker A: And you. And then you say something that comes out of your mouth, and you go, oh, really? Was that.
[00:44:45] Speaker B: I've always. I've always tried to write on stage and failed miserably. I got nothing at all.
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Really good at coming up with shit on the spot. Like, any time you hosted, you have something to say about everybody.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: I can do that. I can. Responded, like, going on. But if I have an idea that I want to talk about, I feel like I've just never on stage kind of talked my way into a. A punchline or something. Now I've done.
But I've done a couple times, and maybe I got to do this more, but I feel like a psycho is. I'll put, like, my voice recorder on and just start talking about something that's normal. I do that. And then that doesn't make it normal if you do that.
[00:45:20] Speaker A: Well, yeah, you're right.
[00:45:22] Speaker B: But I.
[00:45:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I.
I'll do that and start to come up with stuff easier than if I was on stage with the microphone, trying to just come up with it, because I'm almost, like, so worried about the reaction of the people. Almost like, that's. But that's, like, what you're saying. I'm good at of, like, talking about what just happened stuff. It's almost like being too present and, like, oh, if they don't like it, I have to react to them not liking it as opposed to just continuing to go on. Yeah. But there's probably a balance to that, using that instinct.
[00:45:54] Speaker A: I think There is. Yeah. Like, you do, like, let's say three things that you've said really got nothing, Then you finally go, all right, well, none of this is working. Rather than, like, one thing and going, oh, you guys didn't like that? Or. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? Just keep pushing through the mud. Because if it's not. If the three things that you said aren't great, and then the fourth thing is actually something, but it's not perfect. You go.
[00:46:13] Speaker B: Then you build on that.
[00:46:14] Speaker A: They laugh even more at that because it's been three minutes of nothing, you know?
[00:46:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
How do you listen to yourself and so much. Like, because you post a lot, you record a lot of yourself, and it's good and it's funny.
I could never get myself to do that and then watch my. I hate myself, so. And I feel like you also hate yourself.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: I hate myself completely.
[00:46:35] Speaker B: But it's just basic. Is it fully. But be honest. Like, it's a fully masochism of just like, ah, you let me just see how much of a I am and then you pull through. Or are you actually okay with it now? Do you actually like hearing yourself?
[00:46:47] Speaker A: I don't like on stage. I don't mind it as much. The face videos that I make on Instagram, I loathe it to a level that's. Because I'm disturbed that I spent an hour recording 12 seconds, and I go, you narcissist piece of shit. Like this is. And then you. And then you post it and it gets nothing, and you go, oh, this was as shit as I thought it would be. But the problem, the. The thing about it that I.
The thought in my head goes, I can't clean carpets for the rest of my life. And I know that if I keep doing stand up because I. I put stand up first. I do every day. I do stand up. Yeah. And then I go, if I can put. If the posting things fast tracks me, I'll be prepped on stand up because I do it every day. And I go, I need to get out of the situation I'm in. And that is, to me, the most important thing. If I look like an asshole today, people will forget it tomorrow.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: Right.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: But I got to. I got to get out there quicker.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: I.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: But enjoy the process.
[00:47:39] Speaker B: Do you. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you think. Because I. I mean, my thought is I don't do it every day because I feel like I burn myself out if I do it every day and I'm too much of a zombie on stage if I do it every day and I start to hate it a little bit?
[00:47:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: Do you get that way, like, making sure you do it ever. Like, do you ever take days off and, like, just reset? Or do you feel like you need to keep there. There.
[00:48:02] Speaker A: There are. I'll go, like, sometimes three weeks every day, and then I'll take a day or two and then.
But I feel even. Even if I go every day, even if I don't go every day, my job exhausts me. So it's like, no matter what, I'm gonna be exhausted. Oh, you understand? So it's like, whether I show up or not. Yeah. I'm gonna Be tired. So I'm like, I may as well show up because then, you know, it's.
[00:48:24] Speaker B: Nice seeing weekend Harrison. You actually have life.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Right. It's why I don't do this shit. The podcast during the week is. It would be a horrible big. Oh, what do you want to do during the week is horrible. Dude.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Dude, I. I feel like the last four or five times that I've seen you, it's bad. I'm like, what's up man? How you doing? You're just like, I'm tired, man.
I'm tired. I'm like, dude, go to be. Go to bed, bro.
[00:48:48] Speaker A: I know, take a nap.
[00:48:49] Speaker B: Dude.
[00:48:50] Speaker A: I got to bed at 10:45. I woke up today, like 6:30. And that's a long stretch for me. Yeah.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: And I go.
[00:48:56] Speaker A: I feel like the weekends I feel good.
[00:48:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:58] Speaker A: But the problem is I get fucked up at night and then I start the week off hungover.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: That's what I've been. Well, what sucks too is like my girlfriend works nights, so she'll get out at 10:30 during the week. I'm like, I gotta wake up for work. So I'll be like going to sleep. Basically. She's coming home. Like she gets out at midnight. I usually go to bed around like one. Yeah. So we'll talk a little bit, go to bed. But then like on the weekend it's like, oh, I can sleep in. So after work, let's meet at a late night bar or something and just not get hammered, but be out drinking three, four o' clock in the morning or just. Even if just smoke a joint at home, watch a movie or something, it's gonna start at midnight.
So my whole fucking clock gets fucked every week. So it's almost like I sleep like a fucking baby on weekends. Like I sleep till 1 at 1pm and shit. And then the. Then I have to go to bed on Monday or on Sunday for work. On Monday at 9. So. So like never. It's never right when I start to get a rhythm, it's the weekend and I cut it off.
[00:50:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. That's always the case, dude.
[00:50:03] Speaker B: It.
[00:50:03] Speaker A: I have that with Saturday and Sunday in the mornings. Well, Sunday sometimes not so much, but Saturday mornings, how you wake up?
[00:50:09] Speaker B: I wake up like you work early, right?
[00:50:12] Speaker A: I'm up every day at like 6.
[00:50:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: And then.
And I go to bed late. I go to bed midnight, you know, so I'm like, I'm constantly. But it's one of those things where also I think no matter what You're. I think this is a part of just. Just being, you know, age. You're gonna be tired.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:29] Speaker A: You're gonna be tired. Like, no matter what you do, no matter how you've.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: Today. I did.
[00:50:33] Speaker A: I didn't. I fucking. I went to the gym. I did laundry. I went for a walk. I mean, I feel good, but I'm still tired.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: I'm like.
So, yeah, the idea of not being tired is like. It's. It's like, shut up. Who do you think you are, not being tired?
[00:50:45] Speaker A: It's like, especially living in this, if.
[00:50:48] Speaker B: You'Re not tired, it means you're not doing enough. Like, at least in this city. Right?
[00:50:51] Speaker A: I agree.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: Especially, like, we both kind of have the whole. God, I feel so fucking weird.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: They may not be able to see that.
[00:50:58] Speaker B: Good, because I'm starting to feel a little bit like a whore.
Unless we were literally getting paid for it. Then I'd be a little okay if I was actually being a whore, but I don't want to be a free fucking prostitute, you know? I mean, like, do you want. For free?
[00:51:12] Speaker A: Do you want to make it, Steve, I do. This is what we got to do.
[00:51:16] Speaker B: All right? So.
[00:51:18] Speaker B: I don't want to fucking sell jobs anymore. Oh, this job's great.
[00:51:22] Speaker A: Would you rather work in an office, or would you rather just talk to your friend with.
[00:51:25] Speaker B: Very true. Dude.
[00:51:26] Speaker A: Who gives a fuck?
[00:51:27] Speaker B: We're all whores one way.
[00:51:29] Speaker A: And you know what? I've. When I was younger, I had the. This. This holier than now artist thing.
[00:51:33] Speaker B: Like, I wanted to. Now what? It's not holier than now?
[00:51:36] Speaker A: Holier than thou. Sorry.
[00:51:37] Speaker B: Did you know that or is that. I don't think I did. You always thought I was holier than now.
[00:51:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought it was like you thought the.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: This is the most holy moment, right? This present right here.
[00:51:46] Speaker A: I think that's what I thought.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. No, that's not true. Thank you for that. Anytime.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: Holier than thou. The.
[00:51:52] Speaker B: The idea of it is crazy. It took you 31 years to know that saying.
[00:51:56] Speaker A: But you know what's crazier? It took me 31 years to learn how to tie my shoes without bunny ears.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: Like, you had to start with the bunny ears.
[00:52:02] Speaker A: I still do bunny ears. I'm trying to get wean myself off of it.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: Just embrace it, dude. Nobody notices.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: The two little bunnies and they get together.
[00:52:14] Speaker B: Thing.
[00:52:17] Speaker B: Sorry, what were you saying about I.
[00:52:19] Speaker A: Wanted to be an artist? I wanted to be an artist. Yeah, like the Internet. I want to make great art, and now I'm 30, I'm gonna be 32 next month. And I go, whatever, bro, I'll do whatever. Like, you know, like I'm still doing the comedy, but it's like, yo, these little things of the Internet and like, and I love the podcast, but like this, like this nonsense of like, yeah, yeah. Do I really, you know, a little extra horror never killed anyone.
[00:52:43] Speaker B: No.
[00:52:43] Speaker A: You know what I mean? We want to be successful, make people enjoy themselves.
[00:52:46] Speaker B: Whether it's through laughter, beating my feet, it doesn't matter.
I'm helping somebody's life.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: You're making them feel good.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:52:53] Speaker A: And that's all that matters.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: That's all that matters. You know, it's funny, I didn't. I kind of had the opposite of like when I was in my 20s, like I went to business school, so I was like, I'm gonna be Mr. Business. And then it was like I was business management major, which you don't just be a 22 year old manager of a business no one's gonna fucking hire unless you're zoron. Yeah. I mean, that's the whole point, right? Like even a 32 year old boss is like, shut the up. Yeah. So then I changed to finance and it's like, I'm gonna be the finance guy, math, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna figure out the stocks to buy that nobody else knows. And like, I'm gonna hustle and grind. And then I got into that world and I just didn't like the people. And like, he's just all bullshit anyway. Like the cool parts of it are kind of not even existent in real life. Just like anything.
[00:53:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:53:42] Speaker B: And then I was just like, kind of got drawn to this. I always like, obviously loved comedy and shit, but I never thought of it as an actual thing until like listening to the podcasts and all that. So I kind of went from like, I'm going to be a money grubbing fucking asshole to like, actually that kind of sucks. I'm going to be a little twinkie. Gay artists now I converted to gay, which is.
[00:54:05] Speaker A: I see that happen a lot. You don't normally see the artist turn to the business guy. You see the, the business guy turn to an artist.
[00:54:12] Speaker B: I think you see the artist turning the business guy. A lot of like when I have like this dream of being an artist. And then you see what the real world of being an artist is, which is a lot of bullshit, a lot of business, a lot of posting and not doing the fucking art.
And then people are like, well, fuck that. Like, if I'm gonna have to do something I hate anyway. I might as well get paid more and just be a. Whatever. Like, I see a lot of people kind of convert. Like, even what I do, a lot of people.
[00:54:39] Speaker B: In recruiting are like liberal arts degree people that kind of were sick of being broke, so they just started selling jobs. Like, just being a recruiter. It's just like, fuck it, I can make money. I don't have to sell my soul to a corporation. It's just, if you get the job and you make money, good, if not bad. So, like, I do see that. I think people convert in that way.
[00:55:00] Speaker A: Well, the. Those people, I don't think, wanted to do the shit for the right reason.
[00:55:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:55:07] Speaker A: I think they. They thought they were going to be famous and make money.
[00:55:09] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:55:10] Speaker A: And it's like. And it shows, like, yo, this is a tough thing to handle, right? To be doing this.
I'm doing it every day. You know, they. They didn't really want it the way that we want it.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: That's a good point.
[00:55:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:23] Speaker B: And I think that's like, I have no reason to do this.
[00:55:26] Speaker A: Like, there's no.
[00:55:27] Speaker B: Unless I want. Like, I actually want to do it, you know? I mean, like, the.
[00:55:31] Speaker A: The art of it forcing you to go do this shit.
[00:55:34] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. It's not making me any money. Yeah. It's like, there's no reason.
If it was purely. And who the fuck wants to be famous, dude. And nobody famous even seems happy about it.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: They're probably not.
[00:55:45] Speaker B: The.
[00:55:45] Speaker A: The only part of that is that when I think about it, I don't want to be famous. I want to have a lot of money, because I know money can get you freedom. Yeah. However, in the way that we're going about it, I think fame is a byproduct of it.
[00:55:57] Speaker B: Yeah. But it can be.
When I'm saying famous, I don't mean having a following, having a fan base. Okay. That's.
[00:56:04] Speaker A: I talking about, like, Andrew Scholl's famous.
[00:56:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Or fucking. Yeah. Like, walk down the street, people know who you are. Yeah. Even, like, gotta suck classic famous. Because even Andrew Schultz can walk down those streets and people aren't gonna know who he is because the Internet has made it so dense of, like, everybody can find what they actually like. Instead of the industry telling you what you have, three options.
[00:56:23] Speaker A: Like, Leonardo DiCaprio cannot walk into a super. Yeah.
[00:56:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Even in, like, I would say, probably the early 2000s, before, like, YouTube, even in, like, streaming and shit, it was like the comedians on Comedy Central. Or the comedians you knew.
[00:56:36] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:56:37] Speaker B: So you had to pick one of those five guys. Yeah, those five guys couldn't walk anywhere. You know what I mean? Like, whoever gets picked every once in a while to be the big thing.
[00:56:45] Speaker A: You know who's one of the last people, I think Louis ck.
[00:56:48] Speaker B: They can't walk.
[00:56:48] Speaker A: I don't think he. I think he can, but I think he can now because people are so on their phones. Everyone's in their own fucking.
[00:56:55] Speaker B: Yeah, right, right.
[00:56:56] Speaker A: But I think a couple years back, before, like.
[00:56:58] Speaker B: Like Seinfeld, so, you know, it would.
[00:57:00] Speaker A: It's got to be. Those guys are. It's got to be tough to go anywhere, for sure.
But the fame. I mean, fame seems like it sucks. And I sit here and I go, would you. Would you.
It looks miserable, but I go, if I have to deal with that misery and be able to live, I'm like.
[00:57:17] Speaker B: You know what else is miserable? Cleaning carpets.
[00:57:20] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know.
[00:57:21] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:57:22] Speaker A: I would exactly die to not be able to go to a supermarket.
So in that case, it's totally. However, I'm sure you get to a point where you feel like you sold your soul and you're like, oh, God, this is hard.
[00:57:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Or just like, what kind of life is it where I have to hide, where I like to go somewhere.
[00:57:41] Speaker A: You know who has that? I think he. He's insane. People have talked about it is Eminem. He literally cannot go.
[00:57:48] Speaker B: Is that the stand thing? I didn't watch that. Did you watch that?
[00:57:50] Speaker A: I didn't watch it. I wanted to.
[00:57:51] Speaker B: I wanted to, but, yeah, he can't go. I mean, he's like the last Elvis type, really.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: You.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: You. One of the. Not the last, but one of them. Yeah.
[00:58:00] Speaker A: I heard someone who was, like, doing a verse on one of his albums or something was like, yo, he doesn't leave his house. Like, he just. Yeah, leave his fucking house.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: And that is a night close.
[00:58:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:10] Speaker A: That is a nightmare.
[00:58:11] Speaker B: Especially if you want to live in New York. Because the good thing, the worst part about New York is typically being in your apartment. You actually have a nice apartment. But most people have an apartment to be around where they want to be, not to be in the place. That's right.
[00:58:24] Speaker A: I don't spend enough time here.
[00:58:25] Speaker B: I'm true. Because with, like, comedy and she.
[00:58:28] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's. That's always the thing in New York. So I'll live in this shit box and just hang out all day and.
[00:58:34] Speaker B: Night and that's why Covid was fucking miserable here because youe couldn't go anywhere and you had to just sit in your fucking box and be like, what the fuck am I doing?
[00:58:43] Speaker A: I was living in a basement apartment during COVID But I was working every day.
[00:58:47] Speaker B: I know you were.
[00:58:48] Speaker A: Yeah, because we did disinfecting, so we were like essential workers.
[00:58:51] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:58:51] Speaker A: Dude. I worked around the clock there. I didn't have the same Covid as everyone else. I ran out of vacation.
[00:58:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:57] Speaker A: I was working. I was like, I can't wait for.
[00:58:59] Speaker B: The shit to be over. Yeah, true, but. Yeah, but it wasn't like a vacation. It was kind of a depressing vacation.
[00:59:05] Speaker A: Of like, the first couple weeks, I'm sure were nice. And they were also, I'm gonna kill myself.
[00:59:09] Speaker B: The first couple weeks were awesome. And then it was just like, well, I can drink every day, I guess. And the next thing you know, like, alcohol dependency. Yeah, next, you know, I'm an alcohol dependency. My liver is destroyed.
[00:59:20] Speaker A: You look at the mirror, you go, oh, my God, I gained 40 pounds, dude, 100%.
[00:59:24] Speaker B: That's exactly what happened. And it would be like, fuck it, I'll just get stoned as hell because I can wake up late for work, and it'll be like, wake up. Turn on the computer. So I got the little green circle. And then like, go back to bed, jerk off.
[00:59:38] Speaker B: Play some Xbox, which I think I kill myself pressing. Dude, it seems cool.
[00:59:43] Speaker A: No, it's not.
[00:59:44] Speaker B: That's why I quit corporate America. Thank God I fucking did, because I was miserable in that shit.
But when you have a commute every day and it's like, you wake up, you get ready for fucking work. I had to fucking. I actually didn't have to. I thought I had to. Like, I had my hair, like, all gelled and. Yeah, douchey. Like the douche. Comb over.
[01:00:03] Speaker A: Oh, while you were at home. No, when I. Oh, when you'd go to the.
[01:00:06] Speaker B: Okay, no, dude, I didn't do that.
No. I didn't shave or comb my hair for, like, three months Because I was like, you couldn't. I was like. And I was also like, I'm just not going to do it until this is over and just see what happens. And just kept going. I was like, all right, I gotta fucking do something.
[01:00:20] Speaker A: I got a shower.
[01:00:20] Speaker B: Yeah. But now it was like, the commute to work is a whole thing. You're focused on that. What, trains are running, blah, blah, blah. What am I going to eat for breakfast? Da, da, da, da, da. You go out for Lunch. You know, you go back and you do your bullshit work. Then you go to the gym or you go do something. Go to a bar with friends or some shit like that. You have all this shit going on around your life, and your job is just the middle portion that you have to deal with. During COVID it was roll out of bed, walk from here to your stairs. Was my office, was my desk. So basically, I was in a studio fucking apartment. And my desk was next to my bed. So I never left the office. So I woke up and went straight to work. I wouldn't wake up in time to go for a run in the morning. I'm not that fucking guy. So I would barely shower before work. It was mainly just get out, fucking shake my mouse around so I don't get in trouble.
[01:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:08] Speaker B: And then get my day going. But I was like, wait, this is my actual job is just going on Excel and then copying another Excel page into this Excel page, refreshing the pivot tables, and then emailing people when the numbers look wrong. And I just. This is it.
This is what I'm fucking doing.
And I had no distractions. I just focused right on what I was doing every day. I was like, what am I doing? What am I giving to society? Even, like.
[01:01:34] Speaker A: So that was a good thing job for you, in a way?
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Yeah, it was in that way. It was also when I started doing comedy consistently. Cause I was like, a pussy about it where, like, I couldn't not do it because I just fucking. Like, the first time I was on stage, I bombed. But I made fun of myself for bombing. Like, I made fun of how fucked up my joke was.
[01:01:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:52] Speaker B: And that got a huge fucking laugh. And I was addicted to that.
[01:01:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:56] Speaker B: But I would do it once every three months, Once a month at best.
And because I didn't have. I didn't know people in it, so I was just. I would just go do the mic and fucking run out of there. I didn't feel like I was part of it. I was embarrassed to say, I'm a comedian. I couldn't call myself a comic at that point.
[01:02:12] Speaker A: I understand that.
[01:02:12] Speaker B: You know. And then I was like, if I'm actually. It was like February 2020. I'm like, if I'm actually gonna do this shit, I gotta start going every week. No more fucking excuses. Then Covid happened, and I was like, well, I said no more fucking excuses. So I was like, going to Parks and shit to do it, to make sure I stuck good from there. That's good. So in a way, yeah, Covid kind of like, Covid was really, like, 2020, like, shifted my life from, like, a corporate America douche that was kind of miserable in it. But I just figured, you know, I'm making good money, things are cool, but I want to do comedy. I was writing way more than I was performing. Like, I had still four hours of jokes, and I would get up once every three months. Like, I would write every day, but I won't get on stage every. I won't even get on stage every month, but I was basically writing every day.
[01:02:55] Speaker A: You know, people don't understand that about comedy, where people who are not comics, the. The. The. The nerves, not just of going, but of. Of not knowing anybody and doing it. You know what I mean?
[01:03:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:05] Speaker A: It's a very different experience now. We're. We know each other. We always show up. Hey, what's up, bro?
It's. You create a community. But. And I think the difference between sort of our graduating class, I'll call it, and others, when I had gone, I did it a couple times years ago. Yeah. And I. I felt like I didn't belong there, and there was no one who was nice to me, and there was no one who was good. And I think our group, we were all, even from the jump, just cool to each other.
[01:03:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And.
[01:03:32] Speaker A: And I never had felt that before. And I think we're very fortunate, dude.
[01:03:36] Speaker B: Yeah. I think we kind of found. We found this group, like, just organically, but we all kind of. I always think, like, I always say crazy people gravitate, but I think every type of person just gravitates towards each other. And we all kind of got that, which, yeah. Made it way easier because before. And it's also like, you know, we don't like Mom Donnie.
[01:03:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:55] Speaker B: But if you don't know anybody in comedy to just like. And you see how everybody is, you're kind of like, oh, these people aren't like me at all. Like, I'm not this. I'm not the. Like, because it was.
A lot of people do comedy because it's a cool thing to say. You do. Yeah. And you're around a lot of those people. And I just felt like. Yeah, exactly. Like you said, you're just an outsider. You're not welcomed in. And we're all a little bit older, too.
[01:04:19] Speaker A: You know, that's the other thing. I think we're like, Pat. We get to a point where we go, look, I'm too. Too old to be sitting here going, oh, well. Yeah. And the other thing is the Older you get, the more you realize that person probably feels exactly how I feel. And that's why neither of us have gone up to each.
[01:04:31] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:04:32] Speaker A: Yo, we're both kind of like sitting here, you know, what am I doing here?
Because you always think that, like, I use this analogy because I've always been the youngest of my friends, and I'm a younger sibling where any room I walk into, even now, I still have this feeling of like, oh, you're the youngest person in here. Not in. Like, I'm the most you. But it's like, I'm the. I have the least experience.
[01:04:53] Speaker B: And then you're at a MIC with all 24 year olds and you're like, oh, wait, no, I'm the old head here.
[01:04:57] Speaker A: That's the thing. And it becomes more of a. Rather than you. There's just this thing about being younger that where you feel like, I'm gonna shut up and listen to the older people talk.
[01:05:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:06] Speaker A: Whereas now I go, oh, no, actually, I'm not. You know.
[01:05:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Which is a nice place to be.
[01:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:12] Speaker B: That is what's good about. I think, like, in your 30s, you kind of. You're just like, all right, this is who the. I'm. I am.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:05:18] Speaker B: I'm not going to drastically change at this point. I kind of have an idea of what I want to be. So it's like, this is it. And you can kind of get more comfortable in, like, decision making. Yeah.
[01:05:25] Speaker A: And it's like, if you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to, like, yeah, we're not gonna be fine. It's that it's okay.
[01:05:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:30] Speaker B: The funniest thing that happened to me when I was doing the kind like when I was out of the scene and doing them every once in a while, I did a mic at qed.
[01:05:40] Speaker B: Which is always. Especially back then, it was even more clicky. It's a little bit, I think, friendly, or maybe it was in my head it was clicky. I don't know. But after my set, I go up to the host because I'm like, oh, this is a host. This guy's important in comedy, Mike. And I'm like, hey, can you give me, like, some advice on, like, how you thought my set went? And he went, I. There's a lot of people. I don't remember anything that you said or did up there.
And I was like, bet, right? All man. All right, cool. See you later. And I was just like, what a fucking loser I am. No, I was Cringy as fuck, dude. I, like, wake up in the middle of the night of that moment of like, sir, can you show me your way? Put me under your wing. He's like, I don't even. Did you. I don't even remember that you were even up there. Who are you? And it was an open mic host. Here's. It's not even a real guy. Like, you can do that. Within a month, I could have done that. After my third time doing stand up, I didn't realize it was like that.
[01:06:36] Speaker A: Here's the thing. I had someone come up to me. Two people in the last, like, month.
[01:06:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:40] Speaker A: Brand new. And they. They come up to me, and I think I was hosting it.
[01:06:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:44] Speaker A: Hey, man, like you have any pointers?
[01:06:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:46] Speaker A: And in that moment, you got to remember that everyone feels that way at some point. Like, they. They think that you're all. The host is someone. And I looked at the dude and I go, hey, man, I heard it. I said, I have no advice for you. I said, because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Yeah. I've been doing this for a couple years.
[01:07:01] Speaker B: That's.
[01:07:01] Speaker A: And I got nothing. I said, the only thing I'll tell you, I said, is, you see the mic stand in front of you, move.
[01:07:06] Speaker B: It the fuck out of the way.
[01:07:08] Speaker A: Anything else? I'm like, I would be a pompous douchebag.
[01:07:10] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[01:07:12] Speaker A: I said, have fun and keep showing up. That's it.
[01:07:14] Speaker B: That's the right advice.
[01:07:16] Speaker A: That's it.
[01:07:16] Speaker B: That's what you should tell those people. Yeah, but this guy was a pompous ass.
[01:07:21] Speaker A: No, that's a fucking asshole.
I don't remember your set. There's this poor fucking guy.
[01:07:26] Speaker B: There's like 10 people. Yeah. Just be like, dude, and you're a grown man.
[01:07:28] Speaker A: You're not a child. Like, at this point, when you're in your 20s.
[01:07:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, probably 26 or something. Yeah. You're like, dudes, the dude was probably 23. You know what I mean?
[01:07:37] Speaker A: Like, some kid is like, you loser.
[01:07:40] Speaker B: Probably. Honestly, it's funny. Yeah. But that is the advice. And it's. I hate it, but it must be true. And it's like, I've accepted that it's true.
All you ever hear comics on, like, podcasts and shit. All they ever say. Because you always, like, listen to those, especially when you're new doing this. You're like, oh, here.
[01:07:59] Speaker B: And they just say, keep getting up. They're just like, I can't. I can't tell anybody how to do it, your own voice is what you have to find. And the only way to find it is to keep doing it and just, like, chipping away at it. That's the only advice you should really give anybody, unless they're on your level. They're a peer. And it's like, how can I make this joke work? Yeah. What do you think about different tag?
[01:08:18] Speaker A: You know, whereas a newbie's never gonna. With tag punch.
[01:08:20] Speaker B: Yeah, Just.
[01:08:21] Speaker A: Just come.
[01:08:22] Speaker B: Just keep coming.
[01:08:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm very. When someone goes, hey, it's my first time, I'm like, let's go. Like, let's give him the. The positive affirmation. It sucks. Well, everyone sucks their first time. If you're great, you're well.
[01:08:34] Speaker B: Or you can. You can get lucky your first time.
[01:08:36] Speaker A: You can. And then at some point, you're gonna go, oh, okay.
[01:08:40] Speaker B: There's this guy who, like. I don't want to say, like, his name. Not that it's bad, but I know he's been in my mic a couple times. You may have. He's very new. Actually met him at another mic at Big Guy.
Nah, nah. It's this black dude that's, like, young from Boston or something. Okay. I actually forget his name. That's why I won't say it. No, but I don't know. I don't like that. I don't want to, like, big dick, anything like that. But whatever.
He.
He did really well. Like, it's for, like, he. He came to a mic, didn't go up, but he just watched. He's like, dude, I think I should go up, man. I got.
[01:09:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:15] Speaker B: All this written, you know, I think I could do it. And I'm like, dude, definitely go up. Go up. So he started to. And he's like, yo, it's going great. It's going great. I haven't bombed yet. I'm like, dude, you're gonna bomb a.
[01:09:25] Speaker A: Lot, and it's gonna hurt even more.
[01:09:26] Speaker B: I don't know. I'm like, dude, you're gonna bomb. It's gonna hurt. Yeah, it's gonna suck, but it's gonna happen. Yeah. Or you're not doing this enough.
[01:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:36] Speaker B: And then I was at the mic when it happened, came out, and he's like, dude, I. That. That. You're right. It just happened. And he was like. He's like, it hurts so bad.
[01:09:43] Speaker A: Yeah, it hurts more when you're doing well. Yeah, I'm glad that I never went up and I killed at the first. You know. First.
[01:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:09:50] Speaker A: Because I know the Stress of going up every time I need to do well again, I need to do well. Whereas if you're bombing every time, you're like, well, fuck it. And then when the good thing happens, it's a better surprise.
[01:09:59] Speaker B: I would have liked to do well, though. I think it would have been.
[01:10:02] Speaker A: You want to know something? I've become so anti.
Whenever I have the idea of, like, yo, you're gonna fucking kill it right now.
[01:10:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:10:09] Speaker A: I don't do well. Whenever I have the idea of, you're gonna suck right now. I also don't do well.
And now I'm in this space of, like, I need to completely clear my head and go, I don't know. And then I don't know if I'm good or I'm bad, but I'm gonna go do it. And that's when I do the best.
[01:10:25] Speaker B: Now you're right. Same here.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: Crazy.
[01:10:27] Speaker B: I remember one of my best shows was, like, Super Hungover.
And just like, God damn it. Ah.
Like, I don't even remember anything. Let me just go up and see how it goes. And, like, somehow I was the calmest I've ever been.
[01:10:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:10:41] Speaker B: And like.
[01:10:44] Speaker B: Like, somebody in the crowd that I knew was like, you were the only one not shaking up there and like that. Yeah. And it's just because you had. I had no expectations. I was too hungover to care or not care or anything. You just like, I'm here.
[01:10:57] Speaker A: I'm gonna do it. It's a. I've noticed that too. When I'm hungover. Sometimes they're really good sets because I'm just like, all you guys.
[01:11:05] Speaker B: Sometimes I'm, like, too hungover to where my brain's not really working.
[01:11:09] Speaker A: And that's when the brain is like, it. It. That's when you. You trust yourself, where you allow your brain to drive you. You're like, I know this stuff. Even when I go, I don't know it. You know it.
[01:11:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:11:20] Speaker A: And that's the cool. I was thinking about. I was stoned the other day thinking about this. The idea of, like, when you're in the moment doing comedy, when your brain is just going, yeah, where you did a bit. You're doing a bit tonight, where. Or you start a bit where you go, I haven't said this bit in, like, six months.
[01:11:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:11:37] Speaker A: And you know it, like, it's like it's fucking. Your brain has it. And when your brain has your back like that and people don't understand it, or when you're firing on, when you come up with, like, A boom, boom, boom.
[01:11:50] Speaker A: There is no more. It is nothing more exhilarating now.
[01:11:54] Speaker B: It's the best when like, like when you can. My favorite thing is when like I can do a crowd work thing that everybody's into. Because once you get people like crowd in with a crowd work thing, you kind of have them wrapped around your finger a little bit.
When you can do that and then kind of bring that into your bit and then it's like you just kind of have them on like the ropes. It feels like in a way, you know.
[01:12:17] Speaker A: Well, that's the like a lot of the best stand ups, they. They'll do crowd work that's. They have it ready for like if there's like a bald black guy. Yeah, they'll have it ready. That ties into the joke. I'm pulling you in. You have no idea.
[01:12:28] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[01:12:28] Speaker A: And that is the fucking tits, dude.
[01:12:30] Speaker B: Yeah. That reps like, then that is why, like that advice is the right advice. Because the more you do it when you don't care, the more you do when you care, the more you do when you think you're going to bomb, the more you do and you think you're going to crush, that's when you start to realize like what you should and shouldn't do. Yeah. The only way to discover that is to just do as much shit as possible and just figure it the fuck out.
[01:12:49] Speaker A: And the other thing about doing it as much as possible is you learn to control the room. It's like if you lose control, you're. That's it. And you, if you have no experience, you're never going to know what that's like. You got to be in control of everybody there. And they don't know it, but you have to know it.
[01:13:05] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
You kind of argue that they shouldn't. They have to not know it. Yeah. You know?
[01:13:11] Speaker A: Yeah, they, they just, they're. They're allowing it to happen, but they don't know what's happening. What Rogan says it's like a. It's, it's. It's hypnotism.
[01:13:17] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[01:13:18] Speaker A: It's crazy.
But where are we at here?
[01:13:23] Speaker A: Hour 15.
[01:13:24] Speaker B: All right, so what have we covered? Comedy. Mamdani, are you happy? The Jews. My feet.
I think we're good. Do you have anything else? What else?
[01:13:35] Speaker A: I'll end it with this. Are you happy?
[01:13:37] Speaker B: Am I happy?
[01:13:38] Speaker A: Yeah. I asked some people not all stupid question. I know.
[01:13:42] Speaker B: I'll say this like I, I get it. I won't be too much of a con about like. Well, Sometimes I'm happy because that was where I was going to go.
[01:13:49] Speaker A: Riley did. Riley. It's a good. It's true. It's. That is the right answer. It's like sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. But in general with how your life is going, would you say that?
[01:13:57] Speaker B: All right. Yeah. That's a good question.
[01:13:58] Speaker A: What.
[01:13:59] Speaker B: I mean, it's.
Yeah. But I try to convince myself I'm not. Why? Because I thought I was going to be like. Like, you grow up in a. Like a, you know, family. Parents were together until we got older than. They divorced. They were basically, like, good as a couple when they had kids to take care of. And then when they didn't, they were just like, well, now what? So, whatever. But I. So I was like in that world. Cousins, big family, everything. So I just assumed by the time I was in my 30s, I would have a family.
[01:14:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:14:28] Speaker B: Now I lived as an adult in my hometown and was fucking miserable. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. I'm sick of doing the same shit with the same people, going to the same bar and agreeing on everything that we think together in a little circle in the bar. Yeah. What kind of life is that? So that's where I moved up here. And I always had like, the. Like, once I was in my 20s, it was like the dream would be to be doing comedy in New York, you know? And I took a job in New York from J.P. morgan.
I didn't tell anybody, but it was to do stand up. It was like the idea of, like, I'm in the standout mecca. Like, this is where I should learn how to do something stand up 100%. And now I'm doing it. So, like, it's awesome and it's great. Like, I was just talking to my girlfriend about a shit awful show.
It was. It. It was on like 106 at a hostel. The whole crowd was like five Dutch dudes who kind of spoke English. You couldn't see them because the lights. There were these gigantic spotlights, but they were standing behind the spotlight so you couldn't even see them enough to get a sense of. And they're not gonna laugh. They're just gonna give you some kind of facial expression and know if it's enough. Yeah, none of that. So it's just a shitty set. But it was awesome because I'm in a spot like West 106th Street. When the fuck would I ever go there? And New York is such, like, a. A maze, and there's so many different. It's so dense. Every like neighborhood has its own little like thing to it. And it's just cool that like stand. Not only doing stand up, which I love and I love trying to solve that puzzle every time I'm on stage. But then afterwards you're just in another area and you like, you explore the city in a way you never would. Because it's not up to you where you go, it's up to where the spot is. So you go to places you never would plan that, like time out. New York's not going to tell you to. It's like a tourist, you know, it's somebody not from here. Where are the cool places to go in New York? Like, that's not going to give you the cool places.
[01:16:15] Speaker A: No, you got to find them.
[01:16:16] Speaker B: So I'm getting that. I'm, you know, happy relationship. You know, my job is like the people I work with and shit. And like, they give me the freedom to be able to balance the two. So kind of everything I wanted to do, I'm doing. And I like that I'm doing it. Yeah. But then I'm like, wait, is this, this isn't the way a 35 year old should be? Like, am I gonna wake up when I'm 42? Like, the fuck was wrong with me living like an 18 year old when I was 35?
So I'll go home and see the families and everybody's got kids and then I'll just get in my head that I'm doing the wrong thing. Nobody makes it that way. Everybody tells me it's cool, but everybody's like, it's so cool you're doing stand up. You, that's so cool. You're in New York doing stand up. And I'm like, it's easy for you to say it's cool, but you didn't even think about going to New York anything. Like, is it really cool? Are you just saying that to kind of pan.
[01:17:04] Speaker A: I think they believe it.
[01:17:05] Speaker B: You know what I mean?
[01:17:06] Speaker A: Believe it.
[01:17:06] Speaker B: But that's where, that's where it's like, I'm happy, but I allow myself.
I'll just start trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be happy with where I'm at.
[01:17:16] Speaker A: I think you should always be striving for better.
[01:17:19] Speaker B: But I mean like, of course, like better in this world. But like I'm always half convincing myself I shouldn't be doing this and I should be settling down and having the, the boring kind of like family life.
[01:17:33] Speaker A: It's whatever you want, man.
[01:17:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:17:34] Speaker A: You don't need to be doing anything. That's a societal thing. You know, you could. I have, I have friends. They're all married and children. And not once have I ever thought I should be doing this. Not once.
[01:17:42] Speaker B: Really.
[01:17:43] Speaker A: I, I'm very, I'm not happy in this. I. I want to work on me and get better.
[01:17:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:17:48] Speaker A: I just go, that ain't for me right now. Yeah, not for me.
And I just kind of put a stamp on it.
[01:17:54] Speaker B: I get like the FOMO about it a little bit.
[01:17:56] Speaker A: You're not missing out on shit, dude. I don't think you're not missing out.
[01:17:59] Speaker B: No.
[01:17:59] Speaker A: You know what it is? See these people, dude, they suck.
[01:18:01] Speaker B: I mean, I love them, but I know, man. And I really think about it. When I really think about it every fucking day, having to take care of like another human being. I'm like, no, I don't think I want to do that at all.
But I get like philosophical about it. I'm like, isn't that the whole purpose of humanity is to recreate and like, go to the, like, keep it going? Like, isn't that what you're supposed to be doing in this life?
[01:18:27] Speaker A: My brother in law told me something. I sat with him and we were talking. He's. He's, he's like 15 years older than me.
[01:18:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:18:32] Speaker A: And I go, you know, there's this idea of like, I think, I wonder where I go, am I missing out on an integral part of life by not having.
[01:18:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[01:18:39] Speaker A: And he looks at me and he goes, no, you're not. He goes, your friends who are telling you it's the best thing ever happened to them, he goes, I have children. He goes, I love my kids. Yeah. I love my life.
Don't do it.
[01:18:52] Speaker B: It's not like.
[01:18:52] Speaker A: Because it's not that special.
[01:18:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:18:54] Speaker A: I, Everyone says it is, but he was the only person that's ever told me that. And he's not a, he's not a bullshit artist. Yeah. I go, you know what?
He's probably right.
[01:19:01] Speaker B: Yeah. The funniest thing like that, my, my buddy who also from my hometown, he doesn't have kids. He doesn't want kids ever. Or anything. Like, I think I might when I'm a little bit older. I'm not against it. But he was like, he said he doesn't because he was talking to his dad once and this is his dad saying it to him. He's like, he's like, chaz.
And he's like this big Italian dude. His dad, he's affiliate town dude. He's like, kids are the most. Because like hit one of his brothers, like his dad or something, he goes, I'll tell you, kids are the most overrated thing in the whole goddamn world. He said that to his own kid, though. It makes funniest fucking thing, like, oh, so I'm overrated for you, dad, but I respect it. And overrated is a hilarious term they call your kids, I feel like. But yeah, I think.
[01:19:50] Speaker B: Yeah, that's like the thing with that question. It's like, I am, but that's what's been with me. If that makes sense.
[01:19:58] Speaker A: I understand. I think it's normal that. I think it makes you a well rounded individual.
[01:20:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:20:02] Speaker A: But I would be like, yo, yo, here's the thing. You're halfway. You're ahead of most people in the sense of like, one, you have a job.
[01:20:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:20:12] Speaker A: That's, that's, yeah, that's important. Two, you have a, a good relationship.
[01:20:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:20:17] Speaker A: With another human being. That's major. I sit here and I go, I don't even know if I can do how to be with anyone right now. Which is really horrible because at least, even if you don't want kids, you go, I have a loving care, I get tenderness, everything.
[01:20:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:20:30] Speaker A: That's a big deal. And if you really did want kids, you already have the groundwork set up for it.
[01:20:34] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:20:35] Speaker A: It's not like you're 35 and we're both.
[01:20:39] Speaker B: I'm not fully against it, but I'm not going to change my life to make sure I do it right now.
[01:20:43] Speaker A: That's brilliant.
[01:20:44] Speaker B: So it works.
[01:20:45] Speaker A: You're living the best possible scenario you could.
[01:20:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[01:20:49] Speaker A: So that's my opinion on it.
[01:20:51] Speaker B: And she. And she's Colombian, which is sick.
[01:20:53] Speaker A: That's dope. Free cocaine.
[01:20:54] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Lots of coke.
What about you, dude? Are you happy? What do you. How do you answer that question?
[01:21:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say at points, on and off.
[01:21:05] Speaker B: Don't act like you didn't have your answer ready to go. No, no.
[01:21:08] Speaker A: I thought about this at the tail end of what you were saying.
[01:21:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:21:12] Speaker A: I have had ideas of grandeur in my life As a 20 year old, I'm like, I'm gonna have this.
[01:21:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:21:18] Speaker A: Major grandeur. And I look around, I go, wow, this is really off from the blueprint. You know what I mean?
[01:21:23] Speaker B: I got the. But you mean like the Blueprint album? Jay Z.
[01:21:27] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. You, you're so black, dude.
[01:21:30] Speaker B: Like, oh, wow. I just wanted to be Jay Z when I do.
[01:21:33] Speaker A: I wanted to sell crack.
I wanted I wanted. I thought I would be like a fucking mansion swimming in fucking money bitches.
[01:21:40] Speaker B: And all this stuff.
[01:21:40] Speaker A: And. But it was like, that was the blueprint of my life. Like, I'm going to be wildly successful and I wake up every day and I go, wow, you really had it all wrong. However, I. There are moments of that. But I also go, look, I have this great place and, you know, I work a job I don't love, but it does.
I'm able to do it. To do it and post the videos I post, which anywhere else would get me fired.
[01:22:01] Speaker B: Yeah, right, exactly.
[01:22:02] Speaker A: Do stand up.
[01:22:03] Speaker B: The freedom you have with that. Right.
[01:22:04] Speaker A: That's a really, you know, beneficial thing for me.
And then I think about what I like, a loving relationship.
Yes. But at the same time I go, I finally reached a point in the last few years where I go, I need to be so on this shit. It's the only way I'm gonna get ahead. Because I know if I have someone, some people are able to do both. Yeah. I would end up being like, I could sit here and have ice cream with.
[01:22:28] Speaker B: Yeah, well, that might just be that. You have to have the right girl who's gonna be like, no, dude, don't have fucking ice cream with me. Get your ass out there and do your stuff.
[01:22:35] Speaker A: That would. That would be the hope. So that'd be the hope.
[01:22:37] Speaker B: That's what it would have to be. Which exists.
[01:22:39] Speaker A: It does.
[01:22:40] Speaker B: It's like, I think a lot of people and like, I don't know, it's easy to say when you have a good relationship, but I think it's. It's more possible than you think, you know? Because, like, I would think, like half the time I'm like, something's about to go wrong in this relationship because it's. It's good. How could it be good? When have I ever been in a good relationship that I'm super happy and, like, something's going to go wrong? Yeah, but it doesn't have to go wrong. You know, it goes right. You know, you go find the person that doesn't go, oh, you're out again. Don't stand up. I've been here for three hours by myself.
That's not every.
[01:23:09] Speaker A: No, it's not relationship.
[01:23:11] Speaker B: So I think it's. It's worth. And dude, it's like, it's like, yeah, you might get ahead quicker if you just like, fuck everybody else. It's just. And I'm not saying you're doing this, but the extreme to what you said would be like, the Whole idea of once you get there, you go fucking crazy. You're unhappy anyway, so, like, why not take your time to get there in a healthy way? Well, that's.
[01:23:32] Speaker A: That's the other thing is I don't want to be a miserable guy. And, like, you know, you watch the. You ever seen There Will Be Blood? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where the last scene, he's this fucking wealthy, wealthy in a mansion with.
[01:23:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:23:43] Speaker A: And I sit there and I go, okay. So, like, I don't have to tie it in a nice little bow. I don't have everything I ever thought I would want. But as I got older, I realized all that stuff is kind of bullshit.
[01:23:53] Speaker B: Anyway, that's exactly what I was about to say. Yeah.
[01:23:55] Speaker A: And the other thing, the only thing I can say, like, if I die today, I know the people in my life will go.
My life was better with him in it.
[01:24:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[01:24:06] Speaker A: And I'm not saying that, like, in a, you know, I got you, you know, than thou thing, but the idea of going, I've touched people. Yeah. They've touched me. And. And people will say, he was a great guy. And that, to me is like, all right, well, I am living a pretty fucking cool life.
[01:24:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[01:24:20] Speaker A: As much as I may hate myself at times, so, yeah, for sure, I'm doing all right.
[01:24:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And the thing I was gonna say about, like, I. I. Because I think the same thing, but it's kind of the exact point of, like, when I was in my 20. But then, yeah, there's a couple points to it. And if we're going long and we gotta cut it, just. Just tell.
[01:24:37] Speaker A: No, go ahead.
[01:24:40] Speaker B: If.
Yeah. About getting, like, being rich. If I would have stayed in the stupid investment banking, like, a report. I wasn't an investment banker, but I was working in that world of, like, finance, operations, bullshit.
I could make very good money.
[01:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:24:56] Speaker B: I could have just kissed the right ass, went to the right happy hour. I mean, I don't know if I'm capable of. But I had that pathway in front of me.
[01:25:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:25:04] Speaker B: Could have done it. And I would have had all that. That you're talking about, the nice house, all the stuff. But there was no way I wanted to live that life. And I'm like, oh, actually, all that corny that people always said of, like, money isn't everything. It's like. That's actually very true. I guess I don't want it to be true because I hate those, like, the people who love to say that, like, I discovered it's not all about money after all it's like, shut the fuck up. Money's good. But I'm like, now they're fucking, right.
[01:25:30] Speaker A: It's the beautiful part about money. Is that it? If you have it, you can pick up and leave. You know, that's the thing.
[01:25:37] Speaker B: Like Forrest Gump, One less thing. You know, you don't have to worry about money anymore. He's a great. One less thing. It's like, that's how I feel.
[01:25:46] Speaker A: That's the only reason I want money.
[01:25:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:25:47] Speaker A: Otherwise, I wouldn't care. I just want to be able to go to a restaurant, not look at the menu and go, oh, that's expensive. Yeah, I'll get it.
[01:25:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Or just go to a restaurant.
[01:25:57] Speaker A: Yeah, go to restaurant.
[01:25:58] Speaker B: In general, it's fine. Go to a fucking restaurant. This fucking economy. And the way everything's getting more and more expensive and there's less and less jobs for me to fill. So it's going in the wrong direction both ways to the point where I'm just, like, guilty. If I get chicken fingers at a restaurant.
[01:26:15] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I'm looking.
[01:26:15] Speaker B: I want to eat out tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:26:18] Speaker A: So in that sense, I go, yeah, it would be cool. But other than that.
[01:26:21] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:26:22] Speaker A: When it. When it's like, I want enough where I could spend on the things I want. Like, not like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I. I live here. I'll live here. I don't give a.
[01:26:29] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:26:30] Speaker A: And then. And be able to. I'll go on vacation sometimes and not worry.
[01:26:33] Speaker B: Totally. Being able to go where you want to go. It's like a huge thing.
But, yeah, that's it. I think you're.
We're on the same page.
[01:26:41] Speaker A: We got this.
[01:26:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Hell, yeah, dude.
[01:26:43] Speaker A: I love you very much.
[01:26:44] Speaker B: Love you, too.
[01:26:45] Speaker A: Thank you for coming.
[01:26:46] Speaker B: Glad that you finally let me do this.
[01:26:47] Speaker A: I'm glad you came, dude. You and I always had great report.
[01:26:50] Speaker B: I know.
[01:26:50] Speaker A: So it's like, I knew this was.
[01:26:52] Speaker B: Gonna be super crazy. It took, like, 40 episodes for me to get on.
[01:26:56] Speaker A: Go fuck yourself. All right, thank you, guys for watching. This was Steve Messner. Oh, you give your socials your Brainstorm Steve Underscore Messner.
[01:27:03] Speaker B: Brainstorm Comedy or Brainstorm open mic on Instagram? Just Steve Messner.
[01:27:09] Speaker A: Brainstorm Comedy Live, isn't it?
[01:27:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Brainstorm Comedy Live.
[01:27:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:27:13] Speaker B: And Steve Underscore Messner.
You know, I don't really post much, but. Yeah, follow me.
[01:27:19] Speaker A: Yeah, follow Steve.
[01:27:21] Speaker B: All right.
[01:27:21] Speaker A: He'll send you feet pics.
[01:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
For the right price.
[01:27:24] Speaker A: Goodbye.
