Episode Transcript
[00:00:09] Speaker A: All right, what's up? We're back. We got the Jake Lemonade. The Jake Lemonade comic.
He has a podcast, Honky Hour with Jake Jake. Jamie McClellan.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Sorry, another J name with a white man.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: You know, dude, too many J's. You guys look alike, too. It's kind of good.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Yeah. You know the short redhead with the.
[00:00:27] Speaker A: Yeah, the short red.
The fact that you refer to him as short is craz. Because I'm sitting here going, jamie's pretty fucking tall, actually.
[00:00:34] Speaker B: It's all relative, I guess. I don't know. But all you keeper elves in the comedy scene, I don't know, dude.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: I had Danny howling, and you know Danny Howling, he goes, you can't even reach top shelf. That's why there's nothing up there. Fucking scumbag.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: Like, I cut my. My shelf credits off with where my.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: Huddle highlights any fucking further than that.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: That's so fun. Yeah, my roommate is pretty short guy, too, and I always forget that. And I'll put, like, cups and bowls and shit on her, like, top.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: You're such a piece of shit. I just forgot a woman.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: No, it's like. It's my buddy Priestham.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: But he, like. He's like. He'll, like, knock on my door and be like, can you get this down?
Like, damn, I gotta buy the boil ladder.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: I would sooner be like, I'm never gonna just. I'm never gonna get that thing.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: Just let the food expire up on the top shelves. I don't need that.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: It. Yeah, that's not mine. I am not gonna ask anyone to get me anything at 31 years old. Dude, that.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: She's like. I'm like, you want to get on my shoulder so you can feel really cool to get it yourself?
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Dude, you. Man, you. Dude, everyone's so tall. I was looking.
I was standing next to you. Do you know.
Yo, whatever, bro. You know what this. Dude, what are we doing here?
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Never mind. Got it.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: This is the roast. That's what this is.
We. Jake and I did a roast. When was it? Back in April.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: But April seems right.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: Yeah. That you do the roast all the time. That's, like, your thing.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's. Yeah, I do the. Well, yours was the last, I think, roast I did before that, I became, like, an official on the show. So now I just do, like, the Florida man.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: Like, how long did you do how many roasts? And this is Comedy Fight Club, by the way. I. Lucky Jack.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Happy birthday, Matt. Marin. Yeah. What's up?
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Happy birthday.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: Doing one of Those tonight. Lucky Jacks. But I think I probably. Because I started in, like, November.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: But the whole thing, I just, like. It's kind of. I just, like, sit in the back and talk shit. So I don't even think I'm that great of, like, a roast comedian.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: But I'm like. I'm just the guy that's, like, yapping in the back of the room anyway. So they were like, yeah. Instead of doing battles, why don't you just come and talk shit to everybody?
[00:02:19] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, you're fucking loud. Everyone could hear you already.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: I'm already in the back like pussy.
Like, what if we just gave him a title about you Always.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: That was one thing. Since the day I met you, you've always been. It's like you've had something to say. Even when I'm like. When I come to the mic on the Tuesday Mike, you're like, sit in the back and you're like. You go like that. And I'm like, ah. Jake's got something ready to go.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: I know. It's so funny running that mic at the Gray Mare with. Because, like, Jamie's, like, nice and supportive and happy and, like, he'll clap. And then Paulina's like, you know, the, like, the funny, like, the hard writer of all of us. So she's coming out with, like, killer. And then Mickey's, like, bouncing around being Italian.
I'm in the back. Like, the reason I got into stand up was because I was drunk at a. I lived east of. In Cincy. I went to this show at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, just, like, with a buddy for his birthday.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: We, like, you know, we didn't know any better. We started heckling some of the comics that weren't doing well.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: And, like, kind of, like a bad way.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: Yeah. And then total asshole.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: This guy Carter, who's like, oh, one of my good friends now, Carter Doherty. Shout Out. He. He came up to me after the show, and he was like, you.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: What did I do?
[00:03:21] Speaker B: My buddy and I are just like, what do you mean?
[00:03:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: He's like, don't fucking heckle comics. Like, you're an asshole.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:03:27] Speaker B: You know, we're trying to work on our art up here. And I was like, okay. And then he goes. He goes, but you guys did have some funnier heckles than some of the comics. Like, you just do. Stand up, idiot. And I was like, oh, I didn't know that was an option.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: I didn't think so.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: I was like, all right. And then it turned out from There. So it's like in my blood. I can't help but sit in the back and talk shit.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: You know, at first meeting you, at first you go, this guy's a fucking asshole. Like, when I first met you, I was like, this guy's a fucking asshole. And then after I got to know you, I went, no, he's actually really cool. He's. He's really. The worst part is that you're funny when you do that. It's you. You want the guy to be an asshole, to just not be funny when he does it. But you're really good at it.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Thank you. I can't. Like, my thing is, is I can't help, like, I know this is not, like, a good answer to heckling a comic or whatever, but it's like, when I'm seeing somebody not do well.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: Or like, they're struggling to get, like. So I have to, like, say a thing. In my dumb, like, twisted brain, I'm like, oh, this will help them.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: No, it won't.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: Fuck you. But I'm like, oh, I'm doing you a favor. Getting a laugh. You.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: If it's someone who's. Who's. Who's, like, a little more seasoned, and you say so maybe they can. They can riff off of it. But if it's someone who has no idea what the. They're doing.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: That's why I have to sit in the back and whisper to, like, Mickey or, you know, somebody in the. In the corner, because I'm just like, otherwise, I'm. Otherwise, I'm just gonna yap the whole time. And I'm like, I gotta walk out of the room.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: No, dude. I've learned to appreciate it very much. At first it was like, what the is going on? Like, this isn't a mic, dude. This is just embarrassing.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: No, it's good. I'm helping comics learn on their feet. You gotta do it.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: That's what you're doing.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: I'm putting you through the ringer so you can figure it out yourself. And then I get up and bomb myself, so it's like, whatever.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: But the thing is, you don't. You're having a good time when you bomb. You're just fucking chilling. You're normal. Like, you're not like, one of these people that's losing their minds.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: I go home and cut myself. But after.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: That's. That's.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: But that's why I keep the pink shorts. You never know. The blood's coming through. There you go. Flamingo time.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: I was actually. I went to kill Tony, yesterday.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I saw you on the story. And did you shave the goatee in memory of.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I just went. This isn't. I looked in the mirror and I was like, who the fuck do I think I am?
[00:05:21] Speaker B: I'm not Francis Drake the pirate from 1812.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: I just was like, fuck it, dude. I got rid of it.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: But, yeah. How was that, though?
[00:05:28] Speaker A: What?
[00:05:29] Speaker B: How was the.
[00:05:29] Speaker A: Oh, Kill Tony.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: How's the goatee?
[00:05:31] Speaker A: The goatee was good. It did me. Well, it got no pussy, so. Same as when I didn't have it.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: I was like, what's the difference?
Now I have no pussy, but I look like a lord.
[00:05:40] Speaker A: I look five years younger, you know, But I know. I went. But speaking of heckling, I went there and, yo. And I know New Yorkers, like, you know, I'm from here, but these were the most unforgiving fucking people that. And I know that that's Kill Tony's crowd. And I'm a fan. I like Kill Tony. But these dudes, like, if a comic went up, it was like six altogether that went up. If they didn't have a punchline 10 seconds, which I get. It's a minute. They started booing.
19,000 people booing. And I'm like, yo, give the guy a fucking chance. I know, but I will say this. None of. Except for one guy. They all sucked. They were terrible.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: Yeah. What? So did. You didn't get up? You just.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: No, if I got up, I would fucking. I wouldn't be here right now doing a podcast.
[00:06:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm on my way to Austin, bitch.
Calling me from Zoom. Like, kick rocks, Jake.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: You'll fuck yourself.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: I'm fucking big time, sucker.
No, dude, I. Yeah, I. I did something maybe a little more controversial than Kill Tony last night. I went to see Louis CK at fucking Forest Hills.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: How was that?
[00:06:38] Speaker B: It was good, dude. Tim Dillon opened up for him. It was not. I knew it was gonna be a good night because I walked into the stadium as Tim Dillon was talking about O.J. simpson, and I was like, I'm home.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: I was like, oh, but the people are happening. It was crazy. It's a good show. Some lady, like, had a heart attack in the middle of the show.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: No way.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: There was all these people, like, screaming and, like, flashing their lights. And you could tell Louis at first was like, fuck, I'm gonna have to deal with this.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:59] Speaker B: And then he goes like, oh, well, she doesn't need my.
He's like, if the medics are there, we can just keep going, right? And everyone's like, yeah, I guess.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: I think so. That's.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: It was. It was a great show, though. I haven't seen him live since, like, pre cancel, dude.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: I said. Last time I saw him was 2014, I think.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I think mine would have been in Tampa, like, years and years ago. Still in college, so he's still. I mean, he's out there killing. It was nuts. He did this whole, like. I mean, not that this is gonna expose his hour or whatever, but he did this whole bit about, like, putting his dad into a nursing home. And I, like, was just go. We just put one of my, like, grandparents into one. And I was like, I've never fucking connected more. I'm like, damn, $3,000 to just sell your father away. It's crazy. But, yeah, funny. But, yeah, that was a great show last night.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: That was. A lot of people were talking to me like, are you gonna go to Kill Tony or go to Louie?
[00:07:42] Speaker B: And I'm like, dice roll.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: It was a tough. It was a tough one. I was like, well, you know what? I. I'm like, I'll go to kill Tony. But I wanted to see. I've never seen Tim Dillon live. Yeah, he was at Rodney's the other night.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: I was gonna say, he's probably practicing. When he did yesterday, he pops in everyone because he. I think he still has houses on Long island, so he's always.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Dude, that guy is killing it. The way he posts like. Like. Like a Long Island East Hampton mom dude.
[00:08:01] Speaker B: So funny.
[00:08:01] Speaker A: It's the best.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: He's so funny because he just reminds me of, like, every Percocet mom that, like.
Like, that lost their house in a subpr scam in, like, 2007.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: They're still wearing all the jewelry, and.
[00:08:12] Speaker B: He'S got the big Gucci sunglasses on, and he's like, I fucking lost my house. And because the frogs are gay. And you're like, yeah, yeah, that's. Mom, is that you?
[00:08:22] Speaker A: Yeah, man. He's. He's fucking brilliant. He's one of the. And one of the best podcasts, dude.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: It's like, if Alex Jones didn't have an agenda.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Yes. That is literally. That is the best way to just.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Like, this is like, a caricature of Alex Jones, which is crazy to think that you can get more caricature than.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: That than Alex Jones. I actually like Alex Jones. He's educated.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: Nobody grows a goatee and doesn't like Alex Jones.
Nobody's like, hello, madam.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: That's the funny thing, dude. That's why I love you, because you and I are very different. Yeah, but we're so similar in the best tribe. And you're just like, I get that you're. You're fucking ironic, and, like, that's fine.
[00:09:01] Speaker B: But I like Zoron. We both have our. Our faults.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: You know, that's the thing. We all. We.
And it's. It's. It's great. Dude, that's, like one of my favorite things. Like, I. That's a living proof for me of, like, all right, two guys who don't have the same political beliefs can still be friends.
And we're not going to sit here and chat about. It's like, all right, whatever. We're not going to change each other, and that's fine. Exactly.
[00:09:22] Speaker B: But it would make me come if you did that.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: Could you imagine, Dude, Only way I.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: Can get hard anymore is when I turn a republican liberal.
Let's bring him to the dark side.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Oh, dude, man, I. You. Well, you're living in Williamsburg, dude. Do you think it's like, people are a little nutty? A little. Like, a little bit. I mean, they're nutty everywhere, but I'm from Florida.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: Everyone always tells me, like, New York's going crazy. I. I like Florida. Walks to the rest of the country's crazy. Could run. Dude, it's.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: That's very true.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: We have the insaneest population on the planet down there. We have swamp people. We have billionaires. We've got fucking bass salts. We're all hanging out.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: It's kind of crazy that they can all coexist in the same spot.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: It's a. It is the Australia of America. We have a fun little ecosystem down there.
[00:10:00] Speaker A: That's a good way to put it.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's nuts, cuz, like, you're fighting off. That's. It's like. It's like none of us agree, but we all have to kill that alligator or it's going to get us. So it's like you have to bond over that.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: That's fucking. That is a. That is really. That's a good. We got to get fucking alligators here.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: I'm sure they're going to be here sooner or later. We just saw fucking whales in the Hudson, so I'm sure we'll get alligators.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Do whales in the Hudson.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it's all the girls that jump off the chills.
Summertime sadness, baby. Oh, my God, it's all the Hobokens fucking swimming over here, growing a third arm to get to fucking New York.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: That's See, that's something I would say.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Dude, look at that.
Two more white boys with an opinion. What's up?
[00:10:44] Speaker A: Wow. Dude, this is. Oh, that was so good.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: There you go, right there. Did you see the. There was like a gofundme that started. I know, it's like a year ago maybe now. It was like. It was like the worst part about living on the west side highway is having to look over and see New Jersey. And they're like, trying to go fund a mirror that they can put into the Hudson river so you can look back on New York City so you don't have to see the Jersey City.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: That's. Yeah, that's how narcissistic New Yorkers are. We just. We're like. We're the fucking best thing ever happened.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: I know. I really. I really ate up that side of the New York personality as soon as I got.
[00:11:13] Speaker A: Oh, dude, that. You fit in perfectly when it comes to that. You're like, this is. I'm great. It's hard. It's hard not to feel that way. You know, a lot of people always are like, yo, you think the New York is the center of the universe? And like, I. It was worse when I was younger, but it's the fucking truth. It's like, if it's not happening here, we don't care.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: Dude. It's so all my for. I had some friends visiting from Florida. Florida, a couple weeks ago. And like, you know, we refer to New York. We're like, oh, the city this, the city that. And my buddies lives in Tampa. And he's like, it's not the city, it's a city.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: And I was like, no, okay, okay.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: Tampa Bay. All right. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you go fire those cannons and tell me a little bit more about that? I enjoy your pirate festival and come fucking talk to me when you guys have four more skyscrapers.
But I love it because it's like so funny, because I don't, you know, it's like, whatever. I live in New York. I pay more money in rent than I should, like, fucking kill myself.
[00:11:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: But then it's like, I'll go. Anytime I leave New York City, I'm like, you fucking Podunk ass hippie ass.
[00:12:03] Speaker A: You get into that other state line, you're just like.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: It's like. I mean, I grew up in like, small town Florida. Like rural, like, island shit. Like little Podunk, barefoot, run around the town shit.
[00:12:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: And then I moved to Tampa and I was like the biggest city I lived in at that point in My life. And I was like, oh, the city of dreams. And now I go back there, I'm.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: Like, I wouldn't take a shit here.
[00:12:24] Speaker B: Backwoods ass. Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: Fuck it. Can you imagine 911 was in any other city? It wouldn't matter. They would never say.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: We would have forgotten. Yeah, we would forget.
We would forget pretty fucking quick.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: Yeah. No one would give a shit.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Maybe like, oh, this again.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: Fuck. All right, it's been 25 years. Get over it.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: They'd be like, thank God.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: It's about time.
It was blocking the view in New York.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: We were looking for the tax write off on this cornfield anyway.
For real. Imagine like Indianapolis. They're like, not another mall. Oh no, we lost another indoor mall. What are we going to do?
[00:12:54] Speaker A: That's the thing, yo. No one talks about the Pentagon. Like, no one gives a shit about the Pentagon.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: We're here to talk about it.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: We. The towers fell. That Pentagon got hit and no one gives a shit about that.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: Well, they don't want you give a shit about it because George Bush wanted it to happen.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: You know, jet fuel doesn't melt steel be.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: I mean, how could it? That's what the Jews are for.
We were out there. See this, this is the thing. There's three types of Jews and we're the entertainment juice.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: We have no power or control.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: None.
[00:13:20] Speaker B: Then there's like the bank Jews and then there's the weather Jews.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:23] Speaker B: And we don't get to talk to them at all. We don't even.
Yeah, but no, it's tough. I'm trying to get the insights on the weather juice because my ass is fucking dripping, dude.
[00:13:32] Speaker A: I mean, this way there's supposed to be hurricane coming to.
I. I mean, well, you know, hurricane.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Feel as though I'm partially to blame for this. I moved to New York City to get away from the fucking Florida weather. And now we're a subtropical climate, we're getting hurricanes. And I'm like, did I do that.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: Dude, the subtropical climate thing? When I read that I could. And it's yo. It makes. Dude. With these thunderstorms for, you know, 30 seconds that just flood the city.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: Literally Florida weather. I'm like, what have I done? I literally think I jinxed. It started like the month I moved to this city.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: That's when.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: July of 23.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Oh, okay. So you've been here for a minute.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: We're just crested two years.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: And you came to do comedy or. No.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: A little bit, yeah. I mean, I was, I was working for my like national fraternity for A while, and I. My contract had ended, and I was like, what am I gonna do? And then I came. I was doing. I'd come up here for a few shows and, like, was. Was bopping around. I did a week, like, stint here. I was staying with a buddy, and then I was, like, touring apartments, and I gave this guy a thousand bucks, and in Bushwick. And I was like, either this is my security deposit, or you can just have a thousand dollars. But, like, please don't rent this apartment out for, like, two months. I got to make some life choices. Yeah, I just fucked off and moved to Croatia for, like, two months.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: That's dope.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: And so I was living there, and I was, like, fucking around, like, working on boats, like, living in hostels and all this shit. And I sat up. I woke up, like, on the deck of a boat with this, like, Norwegian chick, and I was like, gotta move to the fucking Rat City, dude. I gotta go tell dick jokes in a basement. I'm, like, looking at the Aegean Sea and, like, island hopping, and I'm like, fuck this. I gotta go.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: I gotta go back to where I needed.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: I'm, like, living for free on a boat and, like, eating fresh fish every day, and I'm like, this sucks, dude.
[00:15:01] Speaker A: That is. See, that's the thing. I would feel that way. The fact that you're not from New York and you felt that way is insane.
[00:15:06] Speaker B: Oh, well, I mean, the comedy was biting. I'm like. I'm like, croatians don't understand sarcasm, so I gotta get back over. They don't like a heckler, so I'm like, I'm not going to thrive in this city, dude.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: That's the thing with dating foreign women.
They don't get any joke. I mean, well, no one gets my jokes unless you're sick.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: But how many times is he going to say the N word before he buys me that drink?
[00:15:28] Speaker A: He'll be like, all right, we get it. You don't want to pay reparations. Are we going to have a fucking cocktail?
[00:15:32] Speaker B: 40 acres in a Moscow Mule. What the hell?
[00:15:36] Speaker A: Like, I don't think he thinks a Moscow Mule is something else. It's not a drink.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: He's like, I get it. Putin is just in Alaska.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: But, yeah, man, it's a. It's fucking. You date those women. And a lot in English, women get it. They're. They're cool. But most, I think the further.
Was it eastern? Yes. Further east, you go more like Russian block.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: You get you.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: They don't get it. They're Just like what?
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Any former, like, USSR country or anything that ends in, like, a Menistan. It's over.
[00:16:04] Speaker A: Yeah. You do a gay joke and they're.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: Like, what, like, we kill them? I don't understand.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Let's go.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: They're alive.
What is funny about them? They're not dead already.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: They should be.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: It's great. I don't know what accent that was.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: I don't know what that was.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: I'm not a. I'm the carrot top of accents. Pull it out of a hat. But I don't know. Yeah, that's. That is true. You know what I do like, though is, like, Eastern. I like, like people whose first language. Like Eastern Europeans that don't. That are, like, learning English, that are cursing or figuring out, like, American, Korean.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:16:34] Speaker B: Because they, like, don't know how to structure it. No, it's like we have. You know, we're like, fuck you. And they're like, I. I punch your sister in the ass.
Fuck your mother in her pussy. And you're like, yeah, you got it.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Yes. Dude, feed me that. I love it.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: It's great. It's watching Europeans get assimilated to the English. The. The. The. The gross part of the English language is. Is the best.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: Dude, I love it because I'm over here, like, put the matter. That's all I got. So it's like I'm listening to them be like, I kick your dog in the cuck. And you're like, yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's why. That's what we say to her.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: You're getting it. The best is Indians. Indians watching them. There's videos of, like, Indians getting into, like, traffic arguments.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: I know your porn history.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: It's. It's fake. Taxi, dude.
[00:17:20] Speaker B: Keep the meter running.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: No, I would never keep them running. I'm a Jew.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Dude, you're Jewish, of course. Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: You don't keep the meter running. You gotta hang out here for a minute. But yeah, dude, Europeans. It was funny. I was actually in a Smash Burger yesterday, and I was with Jason. You know Jason? Yeah. He was talking. He goes, I know German. And he knew, like, three fucking words and he was talking how to say nurse.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: Hitler was right.
[00:17:47] Speaker A: That's it, dude. It's fucking. And. And there was a group, two blonde girls and a mother and father, and they're cracking up when he's, like, trying to speak German. They were Germans.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: Classic.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And they. And. And it was. It was some reason.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: They all look like that these days, dude.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: It was the second I looked at them and I saw them giggling and the blonde hair. I was like, these motherfuckers definitely killed a couple minutes.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Where Was your grandfather 40 years ago? Why is he in Argent?
[00:18:13] Speaker A: Someone said they're like. They're like. Their N word is very different.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: You can't say, like, Nazi if a German here is Nazi. Have you been to Germany or no?
[00:18:24] Speaker B: No. Well, I was gonna go on this tour, but I. It's Berlin because I'm like, the festival I'm at in Cyprus ends the day before Oktoberfest starts. But I was like, I'm unemployed. I can't keep affording this fucking trip, dude.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:34] Speaker B: Yeah. But no, I want to go to Berlin and Munich, like, real bad.
[00:18:38] Speaker A: I never. I've only been to Berlin and fucking cool city. I mean, super cool.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: That's what I've. Everyone I've. That I've heard that goes there say, it's like, one of the coolest cities in the world.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: It's. It's like. I mean, parts of it are like Bushwick. It's. It's liberal to a level that I'm. I Even Bushwick people, I think would be unfamiliar with.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: Interesting.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: But it's fun. Did you.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: Are you, like, a club or you own clubbing and, like.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: So I went by myself. I was 20, 18. I just went alone, and I knew one guy that lived in the city, and he was kind of like, all right, like, I'm gonna go here tonight, if you want to come. And he was like, that point of contact, so. And I didn't know. I like clubs. I like. I like anything, you know, I'm down for whatever.
And he brought me to clubs, like, to Real Bergen and, like, all these crazy fucking places.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Friends that just went there, like, a few months ago, and that's what they.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: Were talking about, dude. Like, I thought I partied. I'm like, this is. This is another level of fucking crazy. And it was just drugs and people pissing on each other, and I was. I was like, I'm home.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Fuck, I'm wet. For all the right reasons.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Like, I wish they didn't kill all of my. All the Jews. I'd still be here, right?
[00:19:36] Speaker B: I want to be mad at them, but I'm sorry. So fucking horny.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: Places. Great.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: Holy shit. That's so funny. Did you go. My buddy said, I think it's closed now. There's a club. They're called Watergate. And it was like. It's like, level with whatever river is there.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: And they said that that was, like, their favorite club. Outside of Bergen.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: I didn't go. I didn't. I've heard of it, but I didn't go.
[00:19:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I think because they were just there. They did like a Paris, Germany thing.
[00:19:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Like six months ago. And they said that was like the best spot to go. But I'm. I'm collecting wrecks like Infinity Stones right now. So I'm gonna be over there for so long.
[00:20:06] Speaker A: So I'm like, you should, dude, you should. I mean, if you can get mean.
[00:20:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I have some like, layover time in Paris where I have, like. I'm there for a week and I'm only doing shows like, I think three of those days. Yeah, I fuck off and take a.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: Train or something, dude. That's what I would do.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: We'll see.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: It's not that expensive.
[00:20:19] Speaker B: I mean, dude, this whole. I think I'm gonna end up maybe making a hundred dollars on the whole month. That's great, dude, because it's like once you get to Europe, I found some dirt cheap flights to Madrid and shit.
[00:20:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: Flying over there for like 100 bucks. And then all the flights and trains around there is like 20 bucks, 40 bucks, 30 bucks. So.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: That's the thing, dude. It's the getting to Europe that's the hard part.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah. And we. Luckily we got JFK here, so it's.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: Like, yeah, pop right over.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: I found. I mean, I found like Portugal's version of Spirit Airlines. So I don't know if I'm gonna.
Before it's like tap port, Tap Portugal or something.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: But I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna have to like jump start the plane before we get off the Runway.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: At least it's not Air India, you.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Know, I mean, you know, smelling it, flying.
This is my Harrison Marks impression.
[00:21:02] Speaker A: That's literally. That's it. That was pretty good.
But yeah, no, dude, the only city that I. And you said you were going to Milan also. That city was. Was quite expensive. Other than that, I'm only there for.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: One night to lay over for the wedding.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Oh, that's perfect.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: Like drop in, see it. That's where Jamie and I are meeting up and then we're like fucking off to. To go lake town or whatever.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, Europe is. I was in.
I went to Rome, Florence and Milan. And dude, I fucking. I was like expecting to spend so much more and it's fucking nothing.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I don't really eat. I'll just find one guy with drugs in the first country I go to and then I'll have a croissant like, every three days. Be like, I'm culture.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: I don't know. I love to eat, dude. And that's. I was thinking. So, like. But the. Even the expensive. I mean, the nice restaurants are not that expensive. No, you have to tip my only.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: I need to try the original French onion soup. And then I'm like, good for the whole trip, so.
[00:21:51] Speaker A: I hate the French, dude.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Well, I didn't like the French. I like their.
I don't give a fuck about the French. I'm just here to eat their onions. I don't care.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: Well, you're going to Paris. I've never been there.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: My first time. Most of the places I'm going, actually, I think it's my. Well, I've been to Italy before, but I've been to Rome and, like, Florence, and I've never been, like, northern Italy.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:07] Speaker B: But everywhere else is a brand new time for me in Spain and France and all that stuff. So I'm stoked.
[00:22:12] Speaker A: That's travel for a month. That's gonna be sick.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: I'll go and tell myself I'm like an Ernest Hemingway and then not touch a notebook for a month.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: I had moments about, I'm gonna write, and I got there, I just drank.
[00:22:21] Speaker B: And then I'm just gonna black out on a cobblestone street and be like, it's romantic.
[00:22:25] Speaker A: I mean, what's more artist than that?
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Yeah. I'll smoke a cigarette and kill a local and then bury his body in the river, dude.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: You know, I actually may ask you for a favor to get me a carton of cigarettes while you're out there.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: Oh, brother.
I would love to do.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: That's the marble on the way home.
[00:22:39] Speaker B: But sure do.
[00:22:40] Speaker A: The Marlboro Lights out there are the best.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: Well, I was. We just. I was in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party, like, I don't know, three, four months ago.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: And I was like, I'm gonna bring Corona cigarettes. The fucking darts are so expensive in New York.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: And then I just smoked all of them in four days.
Fucking packs of cigarettes in, like, four days. I was like. I was lighting cigarettes off of other cigarettes, moving my way down the streets. It was brutal.
[00:23:01] Speaker A: That's the best in Europe because you don't feel like a total trash bag, like, you're supposed to smoke.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Everybody's doing that. That's a. That's like. The Swedish breakfast is, like, shot of vodka, espresso, and a cigarette and a gun. And you're like, nice.
If you want to get fancy, there's a half a Cantaloupe or whatever. Yeah, no, I love it. That's. That's the culture over there. Because I'm. I'm sick of these fucking zinners and shit. Nicotine patch motherfuckers. Bro one, you look like an idiot. Just do dip like a fucking real man.
[00:23:25] Speaker A: Oh, I can't do that.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Well, that's when I was. When I was cross country driving all the time for work. I was. I was double horseshoe'd up, trying to make my way from fucking Mississippi to North Dakota in like one straight shot.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: See, that's the thing about you. That's the thing. You can go from Mississippi to North Dakota, fit in perfectly with dip on both sides of your fucking mouth. And you can go to Europe and fit in perfectly.
[00:23:44] Speaker B: It's all. Well, that's why I might have to grow the goatee out to fit in over there. But that's.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: That's true. But still, you're halfway there.
[00:23:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just a fucking stock white boy. They let. They let us go anywhere.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: It's crazy. It's fucking. But me, I. I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb in Europe. Like, when I was in here, I was loud, you know?
[00:23:58] Speaker B: Well, I'm loud. I'm pretty fucking loud.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: Yeah, sure you are. Laugh, but there's something about your look, I think, where it's like, oh, he's probably read a book.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Nothing says well, no, no chubbies and fucking thighs out. Yeah.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: You're like, yeah, I read Captain Underdog.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: I'm still working on shapes and colors right now, figuring it out. We'll get to the fucking hooked on phonics next week.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: That's a good point. That's a good point. I was.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: It is funny. People, like, give me way more. They're like, yeah, a well learned man. And I'm like, I just. I'm just gonna smile and wave until you believe I'm. Yeah, that's my thing. I'm like, I just will shut up until I'm like, I won't prove to you how dumb I am unless you force it out.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: That's the thing. That's. That's. I need to be more like that. I give it away.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: And I mean not to, I guess, hammer down the tall. Like, being tall gives me a pat. People just like, assume. They're like, oh, yeah, he knows something. They like, they like, he's a leader. And I'm like, I don't fucking know.
What do you want from me? Yeah, exactly. But it's so funny, like, staying in these hostels. I. This is what I loved about Croatia because I was there and was at 23. Yeah, yeah, 20, 23. So it was like right in the, you know, the Biden Trump shit is like stirring back up.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: And we were, we played this like happy hour game at one of the hostels I was at. And every day we're playing like King's cup or whatever. And one of the cards you pull would be like, you make an assumption about somebody.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: And they were like, if you get your assumption about that person correct, they drink. If you get it wrong, you drink.
[00:25:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: I lived in that hostel for a month and a half. Every single day, someone would pull that card and go, I assume you're a Trump supporter. I was like, what?
[00:25:27] Speaker A: That.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: No. And then I'd be like, but we're both going to drink anyway.
But I was like, what are we fucking doing right. Right now, dude?
[00:25:32] Speaker A: That's the thing, you know, looking at you, I could see it, but that's. It's totally off.
[00:25:36] Speaker B: It's. I love what my. My favorite thing will happen. This happens to me at bars all the time. Like, I just wear shitty whatever watches.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: And anytime a dude walks up to me at a bar that I don't know and he's like, I like your watch. I'm like, this guy's about to admit war crimes to me. What is this? And they're all. It's always. So I was at this bar in fucking like Bullshead or something in the East Village a few months ago.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: And this guy does that to me. And I looked over my roommate because my roommate's like a short Indian guy. So they never like, if he's.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Oh, I think I met him once. Yeah.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: It's like the jolly happy. Yeah, yeah, great dude. But if he's standing next to me, those guys won't approach me. And then he'll like, go off and get a beer or whatever. And I'm like, solo chillin. And like, immediately some guy will be like, hey, man, fucking big watch guy. I'm like, great.
But the last time that happened, this guy, he was. He's like. He was a videographer for, like, the military as we were leaving Afghanistan.
[00:26:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: And he was telling me, he was like, yeah, it's. I had to like, report to the Pentagon about all the, like, rape the American military was doing as we were getting the fuck out of there. And I was like, hey, man, I would take this to my fucking grave. Let's not tell strangers this. And he's like, admitting all this crazy shit to me. I'm like, I don't know your name. This is a crazy thing to just say to somebody, but they feel like they could. But they're like, he's one of the. Bro.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: He gets it. He gets.
[00:26:40] Speaker B: I'm like, can you speak into the wire?
But now it's so funny to think because I do live in both worlds. I have my, like, Florida white trash.
[00:26:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: But then I'm also like, I'm not a horrible man. I hope so.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: But you're. Yeah, that's the thing. You're a chameleon, dude. That's. You blend. You blend really well. And maybe it's being tall. I don't know. Maybe it's the mustache. But I. It makes sense. And you're right about the watch thing, by the way. Like, when someone goes like, oh, like, watch. It's always, I don't like who you're.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: Gonna be as a person. Immediately, basically, I'm like, I'm not wearing this to be fucking. I'm. This is not, like, secret code. You can say some crazy shit around me, but they love it, bro.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: I do appreciate a good watch. Well, I won't. I won't tell someone.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: I mean, yeah, I like a watch, but the minute a Watch, bro. Like, there's a difference between, like, liking a watch, wearing watches, and then being, like, a watch, bro.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: And the minute you're about to unpack like, sunglasses lore to me, I'm like, I don't care, bro. It's just bright outside. I don't need the fucking.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: It's so funny, though, that they need the.
Your Indian friend to walk away.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: Like, they literally. It's like, he's like my bodyguard, and then he walks away, and they're like, now's my chance to swing.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: I tell you, I hate making.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: So funny. Yeah. Literally, like, I've been waiting to tell you this all night. It's like. It's like. It's like reverse swingers. They're like, me and my buddy saw you from across the bar.
We really liked your vibe. We really thought you'd say the hard R. I'm like, what is happening?
They're like, we turned that pineapple upside down, and we found a lot of Mexicans under there. I'm like, jesus Christ.
Okay, sure, fine. Yeah, let's talk. Whatever, dude.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: You're like that. You're the equivalent of, like, a hot girl to a conservative guy. That's. That's literally what you are. Like, you're just.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: Say more about that I'm curious. I'm curious to hear about.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Everyone's going to talk to me like, jesus, all right, why are you telling me all this? You love me. What?
[00:28:12] Speaker B: I know. I'm like, buy me a drink. First you're going to admit war crimes. Buy me a vodka pineapple.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. I would. My political opinion could easily be swayed when in a bar. If you're willing to buy me a drink, I'm willing to agree that Kamala is the next best thing for this country.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: Hey, bro, Tim Waltz is the only real man. Yeah. Hey, I watched a man touch a carburetor one time. He's basically my dad.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: I think there should be a first gentleman.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Somebody's gotta that couch, and it's not.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Gonna be me, but I'll have vodka soda, like, if you want to.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Whatever you need, baby.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: That's.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: No, that's funny. A hot girl. The conservatives. I've never heard that before. That's funny as.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: That's. That's.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm like. I'm like a honey pot.
[00:28:54] Speaker A: This guy.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Instead of walking into a gay bar to get free drinks, I'm walking into, like, the biker bar.
Well, that's. It's so funny to go back to, cuz, like, you know, I'm a dive bar guy more than like a club or cocktail bar. I like a dirty martini like the rest of us.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: But, like, I'll go to these fancy fucking bars in around New York City, and it's like, pay $21 for witch's pussy whisper. And you're like, nice, thank you. I'm glad to be here. And then I go back to Florida and I'm. I went to Hulk Hogan's memorial service in Clearwater last week.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: How are you not a Trump supporter?
[00:29:25] Speaker B: That's crazy.
You got to thread the needle, buddy. But I went because I. Well, because I was doing shows in Clearwater and my sister's wedding was down there and shit, so. And then I got invited to the thing, and I was like, how are you not going to go? Like, you got to go because, like, Ric Flair hangs out at this bar called the Pearl in downtown Tampa every night. And he's like, what, 80 years old?
[00:29:44] Speaker A: Yeah, he's old, man.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: All he does with his life is sit at the Pearl, his pants and hit on 18 year olds. And every night he walks out with a wet leg one way or the other. That's insane to me.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: That's dope.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: And he's just. He's like. And then me and my buddy Garrett will just be sitting across the bar like nature.
And he's like, when he hits that high note on the woo, he shits himself.
[00:30:05] Speaker A: Did it again.
[00:30:06] Speaker B: You hear him like shift in the bar stool and then he's like, what's up, Dada mama? You know, I'm the nature boy. What is happening? But we got. I got invited to Hogan's thing and I, I was like, I have. I just have to see what this is gonna. One of the most famous, like wrestler, one of the biggest personalities of all time, he has this bar in Clearwater called Hogan's Hideout. And they tried to open it for like four years.
[00:30:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:26] Speaker B: Every time they do a grand opening, all the wrestlers would come and like suplex each other.
So it just never opened. And then like covet hit and it finally got off the ground and they died.
[00:30:35] Speaker A: That sucks.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: But I knew it was gonna be a crazy fucking night. Cuz as I walked up to the door and they're like doing the like line and the first, first person I make eye contact with is a midget dressed like Trump.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: That's dope.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: And they're playing ymca and they're like, bring him up.
And it's like Jimmy Hart who's like. Hogan's like 75 year old manager just like fucked up on perks, like banging a tambourine together. And he's like, play the song. And it's just the midget going like.
And so it's just like all these like. It was like Hogan's son and all these wrestlers like doing this shit to. To then like just watch like local Clearwater folks be like, hold me closer.
I'm like, there's no way this is what Hogan wanted his fucking Viking funeral to be. Dude. It was insane.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: He's. I wasn't a wrestling guy. Yeah, but I'll tell you, and this is. And you know my views, you know, politically.
[00:31:24] Speaker B: But it's what makes me more of a wrestling fan now than I ever been.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: But he.
[00:31:30] Speaker B: I don't agree with Triple H in the ring, but I love his policies on America. Make America healthy.
[00:31:34] Speaker A: Well, I mean, that's the only person I to listen to when I need to get policy.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: You know, who needs vitamins and minerals when you can have steroids?
[00:31:41] Speaker A: But he's. When he did. The thing is, be careful with your knee. You may be blocking your face. Oh, when you, when you. Yeah.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: I like your watch.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: When he did the. When he ripped his shirt off and he goes, that's my hero. I just went, oh, dude, You're a grown man. What the.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Are you funny? It's so funny to watch, like, the. These, like, old heads just cuck themselves.
Like, no matter what your political beliefs.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: Are, it's like, that's gay.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Such cuck shit to be like, donald Trump's my daddy. I'm like, oh, yeah. These are the real men in America. It's so funny.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: That was appalling. And the fact that anyone would be like, yeah, no, it was gay, dude.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: Hilarious that. That swung some voters. And I was like, that just. That just tied up Hillsborough county in Florida for these motherfuckers.
So funny to watch. I was like, nice, dude.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: I couldn't. It was just pathetic. That's the last thing I remember about him. And I'm not a. I guess I'm a wrestling guy. I will say, when Ozzy died.
I don't know. Rip to the fucking.
[00:32:41] Speaker B: Well, I mean, probably, but you know.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: A fucking crazy train.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: He.
I don't know if you felt like, so maybe I'm just being a fucking. Just a gaylord. But when he died, yo, like, there was like a shift in the air.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: Of like, if for a week or two. And I'm like, this is. There's no one gonna be like, this. This fucking guy was.
[00:33:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: Everyone loved him.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: No matter what.
[00:33:05] Speaker A: You believe.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: Cross. Yeah, cross. Cross universes. Cross. All that shit. He was. Yeah, it was. That's what was funny is like, Ozzy's a guy who, like, on paper, should have had a way root more ruined legacy than like a Hogan.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: But when Hogan died, everyone's like, good riddance. And it's like he blew his own spot up in the last, like, six months of his life. Like, he could have died a hero.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: 100.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: He just did all that. Like.
And then everyone's like, yeah, that racist. I'm glad he's dead. And Ozzy's like, and then he died. And everyone's like, oh, we lost an angel.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: Not one person.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: Another angel.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: It's crazy.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: I was. I went to.
There's this bar in Williamsburg that's like. It's like a taco shop up front. They got a speakeasy in the back.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:40] Speaker B: And me and Slater popped in for, like, dinner.
[00:33:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:42] Speaker B: And we walked into the bar. I don't know, like, 10 minutes before they fully open. And we were like, hey, man. Trying to get a burrito. Like, hang out in the bartenders where, like, full Ozzy.
[00:33:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:50] Speaker B: The day that, like, he died, a few hours before that. And the guy. The guy was like, Bars closed. And then we're like, fine. We go. We like turn around. And he goes, but anyone who wants to do a beer shot combo for Ozzy's always welcome in this goddamn establishment. And we were like, that's. And then.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: That's fair.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: That guy got fired that night cuz he poured us so much free whiskey that we. He was. They were like, clip him.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: That's.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: We got fucked up all night. It was crazy. And then we had to go to a show. I'm like force feeding her empanadas she can make to the show.
[00:34:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: Oh, shit. But yeah, he was, he's. He called his dad. We're like talking to his dad on the phone at the bar. He's like, daddy's gone. I was like, oh my God. We're like helping this man get through a crisis right now. But he's the boy.
[00:34:28] Speaker A: It's crazy, dude. It was so.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: That was tough. Hilarious. To see a guy who lived like Ozzy and a guy who lived like Hogan get outlived by a guy that looked like Ozzy.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: It's fucking crazy.
[00:34:39] Speaker B: Oh my God. I love it. Ozzy. Like, that's what I'm saying. I feel like everybody, you know, there's all these health nuts that are like, eat your fucking Wheaties and yeah. Have your fucking, you know, cherries every day and do this for, you know, and everyone. And they all die at like 72. Well, that's like a heart attack out of nowhere.
[00:34:53] Speaker A: I have similar beliefs about that.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: Yeah. But like everyone that is the 107 year old, like, who's the like oldest woman alive? Google any, like, anytime.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: It's wine, laughter, chocolate.
[00:35:02] Speaker B: It's literally like they're smoking a cigarette through the hole in their neck. Like you drink clam juice and eat pussy until you fucking fall down dead. And they're 111. 7.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: And it's like, yeah, that's the life I'm living.
[00:35:12] Speaker A: That's. It's always that. It's always the, the, the. The long distance runner that drops dead at a random age. But I think that everyone.
I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of yourself. You should, you should do something.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: But that's what the trend is for.
[00:35:24] Speaker A: The what?
[00:35:25] Speaker B: The trend in that.
[00:35:25] Speaker A: Yeah. 100.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: You got to do those empties, baby. But you have to. Everyone's given a number. I think, I think you're just given a number at birth.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: It's arbitrary.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: That's it. It's already at that point. You know, I know People that smoke packs for fucking years that live to 90 like always. It's crazy.
[00:35:39] Speaker B: All of my like grandparents generation, they all smoke cigarettes until the day they fell off the face of the Earth.
[00:35:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:44] Speaker B: 103. Like all of them.
[00:35:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:45] Speaker B: And now it's. Now everyone's like, oh, I didn't have 8 gallons of water today. I'm gonna die. And I'm like, what are we doing?
[00:35:51] Speaker A: It's. And you know, you need.
The more your body can withstand that toxic shit, the better off you're gonna be in the long term.
[00:35:58] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:35:59] Speaker A: You're not putting any toxic in your body. You're gonna die the first time you get a cold.
[00:36:02] Speaker B: Exactly. I'm micro dosing long term life by drinking beer every day.
There's enough water in a Bud Light. I'm kind of doing the same thing, dude.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: That's literally what I. That's same thing.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: So I'm like, it's like 80% water. We're kind of doing.
[00:36:12] Speaker A: I'm getting my calories in 100% with coffee. I do that. Say I have. I have giant cups of coffee. I'm like, this is water still.
[00:36:18] Speaker B: Oh yeah. Like we're getting hydrated as I'm pissing out of my fucking ass for the next nine hours.
[00:36:22] Speaker A: Did your fucking piss is golden? Like golden yellow. And you're like, I'm fine.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: It comes out like crystallized. Yeah, this is probably good. I don't know. Why is it caramel?
[00:36:33] Speaker A: The syrup pumps at Starbucks moaning shots.
[00:36:37] Speaker B: You're like, let me get a double pump on, dude.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: That's gotta hurt like hell.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: Oh my God. Yeah. You ever pushed a kidney stone out those things?
[00:36:43] Speaker A: No, dude, you've had a kidney stone?
[00:36:44] Speaker B: Oh yeah. Well, before I was Jake Lemonade, I used to be known in the circuit as Milkmantastic back in the day.
[00:36:50] Speaker A: Milkmantastic it was.
[00:36:51] Speaker B: I used to drink a lot of milk. I was a gallon a day kind of guy. And it was like my buddies. I wasn't like a big social media guy. My buddies made my Instagram for me and they nicknamed me Milkmantastic as like my when I started Instagram.
[00:37:04] Speaker A: Why? How did you end up drinking so much? Like what I just love probably the.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: Only reason I'm above 6 foot cuz nobody in my family is.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: That's good. You're the proof that milk works.
[00:37:10] Speaker B: Dude, fucking drink your milk and eat your fucking Wheaties, bro. I'm the new Hulk Hogan. Take your vitamins and say your prayers.
[00:37:15] Speaker A: You don't even. You don't need to run. You just drink milk?
[00:37:17] Speaker B: I literally drank a gallon of whole milk a day. I mean, I used to be £300. Let's be.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: That was, like, £120 since I stopped drinking that much. I forgot you were fat. Well, yeah. New York City and their expensive cocaine Fucking blew it out of the.
[00:37:30] Speaker A: That'll do it.
[00:37:31] Speaker B: Walking around these goddamn subway stairs and sniffing my way around midtown made me fucking lose some weight. But, yeah, I used to drink a gallon of milk a day. And I would do, like, milk content. I would do, like, Milkman Mondays. And I mean, all over.
[00:37:43] Speaker A: Is this still on the Internet?
[00:37:44] Speaker B: There's a few posts still around. I left a few up for posterity on my Instagram. I'll send some your way if you want to put them up on this.
[00:37:50] Speaker A: I'm gonna definitely put it.
[00:37:51] Speaker B: I would do. I mean, it'd be the dumbest shit on the planet, but I would do, like, milk content. And I would watch walk around campus at usf, and people would be like, milk, man.
Yo, milk. It was so funny. And then I would, like. People would, like, buy me milk for presents. I would, like, come back to the dorms. They'd have.
I remember MLK Day. I chugged a gallon of chocolate milk and a gallon of white milk. And I was like, he has a dream.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: See, that's funny.
That's funny.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: I was, like, in the middle of.
[00:38:19] Speaker A: Campus, and you were fat then.
[00:38:21] Speaker B: Oh, dude. I was a big old boy milkman.
[00:38:25] Speaker A: You're like, yeah.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: I was like, it's killing me.
I'm gonna die for my art. I had a huge beard, and I was £300. I look like if you inflated Paul Bunyan with a bike tie.
But we had unlimited milk in the dining hall, and I was like, this is what my tuition is.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you got to survive, dude.
[00:38:44] Speaker B: I mean, dude, I wasn't. I was eating chicken cutlets and drinking a gallon of milk every day.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: Chicken cutlets and milk.
That's this disgusting.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: I would buy a gallon of milk, of chocolate milk and, like, regular milk at the beginning of the semester, and I would just refill it in the dining hall every day, walk into the gym.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Like, I haven't had chocolate milk in a long time, bro.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: It is so good. It's. I. If you made me choose drugs and alcohol or chocolate milk tomorrow, I pick chocolate milk. Every guy.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: I think I would, too. Honestly.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: So good. I. I can walk away from cigarettes or drugs tomorrow and be like, that's fine. I cannot put down chocolate milk, bro. You do to you? Who catches me on a bad day. I'm going crazy.
[00:39:25] Speaker A: I like to make it myself, though. Like, with the powder.
[00:39:27] Speaker B: Yeah, sure. I like that. It's like a D.I.
hershey's. The Hershey. Yeah, I like it. I don't know. I'm a. Like a. I like. I like those real thick chocolate milks like that. It should be a milkshake, but it's like.
[00:39:39] Speaker A: Oh, like, just shy of a milk.
[00:39:42] Speaker B: Why am I chewing on.
[00:39:45] Speaker A: It's also good, the. At Katz's Deli. And you get any Jewish, like, establishment. The fucking.
[00:39:50] Speaker B: The egg cream float.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: No, no. Like, it's like a chocolate milk, but they put the seltzer in it.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: That's not. Is that not an egg cream?
[00:39:55] Speaker A: Is that.
[00:39:55] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: I don't know. But it's got carbonation.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: Because that's like a New York thing I've never seen. I mean. Yeah, carbonated milk is kind of crazy to me, I guess.
Sure. Yeah.
[00:40:06] Speaker A: You're a seltzer guy or.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: No, I'm a beer guy. I don't know. If I go Seltzer, I'm a Dr. Pepper. Like, root beer.
[00:40:12] Speaker A: Oh, Dr. D.P. Dr. Pepper. If there's a diet Dr. Pepper, I'm getting it. If there is a regular. I. I like could. It could be out the entire time.
[00:40:23] Speaker B: That's fine. It's like the old guy at the gym.
So I never wear. I'm wearing bathing suit right now. No netting. We'll see.
[00:40:29] Speaker A: I'm gonna find out. I'll. If anything, I'll just get, like, a.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Stop licking the screen while you're at it.
[00:40:33] Speaker A: This is never gonna come out. I'm just gonna jerk off to it.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: It's like an Indian taxi cabin, but all right. Yeah. A little DP diet Dr. P. Well, DP.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: That's funny to call it DP.
[00:40:46] Speaker B: I just got a sip of that deep.
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Dr. Pepper is one of the. With Chinese food. Oh, with McDonald's.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: Dr. Biden.
[00:40:52] Speaker A: Sip Chinese food, though. It's a Coca Cola.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: I'm not a Coca Cola guy.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: I can't do it, dude.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: With Chinese milk.
CP.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: What do you drink? What do you mean you don't drink?
[00:41:07] Speaker B: 2% over there having low main in 2%. What do you do?
A little spare rib in a hole.
I'm dunking the egg roll. I'm something to take the edge off.
[00:41:23] Speaker A: Dude, just picturing you at your. At your table in Williamsburg.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: Just bully to think I have a dining table in your bed. I'M standing over my kitchen sink like. Like this 3am I'm slurping a lo mein noodle and trying to get chocolate milk into my body.
[00:41:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God, dude, you would. You would do that though.
[00:41:43] Speaker B: I have done it. I'm not. It's not a lie, dude. I eat seafood and drink milk. I don't give a shit. Look like, oh, my. I'll tell you what, it's like a pollock painting in there between my Indian roommate and my diet over gas chamber in our out.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: Oh, and you had a kidney stone, you were saying?
[00:41:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:41:59] Speaker A: And that came from drinking milk.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: That was milk, dude.
[00:42:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: It's calcium. Kidney stones, all calcium. Oh, this is how much milk I drank. I had my first kidney stone. 11.
You're not supposed to your 60s, dude. I was 11. I didn't know my dad. I was. I was. We were driving to, like, from my hometown to like, I don't know, Orlando or something.
[00:42:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:16] Speaker B: And I was like, dad, you gotta stop. I thought I was gonna die.
[00:42:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:18] Speaker B: Well, I was also 11, so I'm like, is this what every boner is supposed to feel like? Just getting boners for the first time? You're like, nice. And then you're like, oh, no. And I just like pissed it out like in like a 711 bathroom. And I'm like, no, but that's like a hurry up in there. I'm like, I think I need to go to the hospital.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Well, that's also the. The.
The equivalent to that. It's like pregnant for a man. It's. It's like saying you're giving birth.
[00:42:40] Speaker B: It's true.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:41] Speaker B: Because I think women don't understand that getting kicked in the balls once is worse than any childbirth could ever be.
[00:42:47] Speaker A: Oh, that's a hot take, dude. That's a hot. I'm gonna agree.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: I think they're talking a real big game. You guys get epidurals. I just have to deal with it.
[00:42:57] Speaker A: Yeah, you. You get drugs. You guys, they just cut you open. You're laying there fucking.
[00:43:01] Speaker B: Well, you guys can C section that shit. I gotta knock the ball back out.
[00:43:04] Speaker A: Through the pelvis and hope that you're not pissing blood after.
[00:43:07] Speaker B: True. I like to piss blood. It's nice.
[00:43:09] Speaker A: I did it once, dude. I pissed blood once. And it was the. Didn't hurt, but it just was frightening to see.
[00:43:14] Speaker B: You're like, did I have beats yesterday? And then you're like, I.
[00:43:16] Speaker A: That's. Yeah. No, no, that's what. When I'm shitting and I'm like, did I bleed and. Yeah, no, it's.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: That's usually from the ball gags and.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Coming out of there, it's an eight pound dill.
[00:43:26] Speaker B: Wait a minute, was it. Oh, that's right. I did go to that WNBA game yesterday.
[00:43:31] Speaker A: That was at Bergen.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Dude, no wonder they let me back into that club.
It was the attire.
[00:43:38] Speaker A: Wearing everything on the inside.
[00:43:41] Speaker B: It's a fur coat. If you look at it there. You can't see the trees of the forest, but. Okay. All right. Coca Cola with Chinese food. What? Yeah. What's your. Run me through the gauntlet of the bite and sips.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: The bite and sips. Well, you gotta have.
I'm a kind when I'm eating food. And let's say. All right, so I'll do Coca Cola, egg roll, chicken and broccoli. Right. And then rice, like fried rice.
[00:44:07] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: And I need it to all be, like, portioned out properly. Like a bite of an egg roll and then the chicken and broccoli, then a sip.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: And are you like. It's. It's in your mouth and you're taking the sip sometimes.
Yeah. I respect that. Yeah.
Yeah. I feel like.
I mean, milk is the kind of go to Bev, but I dude a root beer. Like a fucking root beer with barbecue. Unmatched.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: That's fucking beer with barbecue.
Yes.
[00:44:32] Speaker B: I'll tell you what. Hometown barbecue and Red Hook bangs.
[00:44:35] Speaker A: Very old town. The brisket sandwiches.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: The thing that I miss the most about the south is barbecue. Because it's hard. I don't wanna wait in line for two and a half hours to get like super expensive barbecue in New York. It's the only food that New York doesn't like, really thrive on. I feel like they do pretty much every other world's food so. Well.
[00:44:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:44:51] Speaker B: And then I also haven't found like, the best Cuban sandwich in the world here has been a tart. Tampa's got the bang in Cuban.
[00:44:56] Speaker A: Have you been to Cafe Havana?
[00:44:57] Speaker B: I've been a Cafe Havana. I've been to. What's the. There's one in Times Square that's good too. But they, like, are getting as close as you're gonna get to it.
[00:45:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:04] Speaker B: But there's nothing. Nothing touches like Cuban sandwiches like they have down in Florida, like Miami and in Tampa.
[00:45:09] Speaker A: That makes sense.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: Those are my only those. I like pine for those.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: I agree with you. And I'm usually pretty, like, biased about new. I think New York is.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Food.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: Oh. I mean, objectively the best food city on the planet.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: But a barbecue, You're Right. Like, I had barbecue down south a couple times. I was like, this is the best thing I've ever had.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: It's always. It's funny because there's like, two sides of the barbecue world. It's like you have to go into, like, the roughest, like, ghetto neighborhood in the town to get it. Or you have to go into the most racist neighborhood in the town to get it.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: That makes sense.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: And it's like, which side of the.
[00:45:35] Speaker A: Fence are you gonna flip?
[00:45:36] Speaker B: Which kind of barbecue do I want Mine with this little side of racism, or do I mind with a little side of gunshots?
Which is the more authentic feeling, you know what I'm saying?
[00:45:45] Speaker A: It depends if you get chicken sandwiches. You want to get shot?
[00:45:47] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I got Popeyes right off the J Train, dude. What are we talking about? I'm fucking hanging, dude. They shot up the checkers next to my Popeyes.
[00:45:53] Speaker A: They saw like, fuck me, bro.
[00:45:54] Speaker B: I love a two dollar chicken bites box. What are we doing?
[00:45:56] Speaker A: You know, I've never had checkers.
[00:45:57] Speaker B: Everybody said. Nobody said, like, Popeyes or checkers in the city, which is crazy to me because they're on every.
But, like, a lot of people are like, they don't have Popeye. They've never had Popeyes or Checkers. And they're like, I. They trump fucking McDonald's, Burger King, all that shit to me, like, by a long shot.
[00:46:10] Speaker A: That's tough, dude. McDonald's is pretty fucking good, dude.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: McDonald's. I'm gonna stand on this business. Your new snack wraps can lick my fucking balls, they're so bad. Bring back the chicken selects. I know you have.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: No, they have them. They have them. Chicken.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: No, they have fucking chicken tenders. I don't. Chicken selects.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: Oh, you're right.
[00:46:24] Speaker B: It's bullshit. I know you have some 80 year old man in your basement that still has that fucking recipe that you're making. Walk around in circles, bring him into the sunlight and bring back the goddamn chicken selects, dude. What do we do? Snack wraps taste like ash.
[00:46:36] Speaker A: I'm not a huge snack wrap guy. I am a chicken select guy.
[00:46:39] Speaker B: The day they dropped, I was like, I'm gonna feel something from my childhood.
[00:46:42] Speaker A: And then you ate it.
[00:46:42] Speaker B: And then I took a bite of it and I was like, this just tastes like the 2006 housing crisis.
I thought it was gonna bring back the memory of my family before they got divorced. And it just brought back sadness.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: You just worse.
[00:46:53] Speaker B: I was like, God damn it, dude. No. Yeah, bring back the selects. Hear it here first. I'll fucking never go back to your goddamn store again until you bring back the fucking Select.
[00:47:01] Speaker A: That's. That's. I agree.
[00:47:03] Speaker B: Make your McChicken a dollar again, too. What are we doing? Yeah, it shouldn't be $4.99 to get a goddamn chicken patty make.
[00:47:09] Speaker A: McDonald's is expensive now, but $21 meal is 20 bucks. It's too much.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: I hate it. How am I ever going to drink milk with your product again if you keep those prices goddamn so high? It's bullshit.
[00:47:20] Speaker A: See, that's it. That's an interesting thing. You drink milk. Like if you. If you had a glass of milk with your chicken selects, everyone go, you're fucking disgusting. But if you had a seven, and.
[00:47:28] Speaker B: You have a glass of milk with your chicken legs, they're like, he's a growing boy.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: Well, yeah, but seven. But if you have a McFlurry.
[00:47:33] Speaker B: Yeah. You can dunk the chicken tender in the McFlurry.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: And that's not frowned upon. That's milk.
[00:47:37] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: See, if it's frozen, it's okay.
[00:47:40] Speaker B: Getting ahead of the game.
[00:47:41] Speaker A: You are people.
[00:47:42] Speaker B: Well, that's. What are you gonna do? I grew up working on a snow cone truck. We got our own fucking shit going on. It's crazy shit. You know, we got. I got some crazy concoction mixing together.
[00:47:49] Speaker A: That's true, man.
[00:47:50] Speaker B: That's the business. Yeah. We freeze anything.
[00:47:52] Speaker A: I'm wondering, you know, speaking of chicken, though, have you had Hattie B's on.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: The top of the chicken? Hattie B, that's the hot chicken.
[00:47:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Yeah, we're there. I was gonna say, yeah. Hattie B's.
Yeah. Because when I was living in Indy, there was, like, a chain that was like. When hot chicken blew up.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:07] Speaker B: From Indy to fucking Knoxville and Nashville and then all the way up to, like, Cincinnati, all these fucking hot chicken chains blew up, bro.
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Hattie B's is.
[00:48:14] Speaker B: They're so good.
[00:48:15] Speaker A: Insane.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: Yeah. There's this. I will say there's this place. I'm trying remember the name of it. I know the slogan of the. It's in Memphis on Beale Street. The slogan of the restaurant is put some south in your mouth. Which they know they can do whatever they can get away with murder at that. It's on the corner, like, right across from BB Kings, I think.
[00:48:30] Speaker A: I've never been bang. I know that. I know that.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Every time I go to Beale Street, I'm like, dude, they have some great hot chicken down there, too. Memphis slept on city. I like Memphis way more than neff.
[00:48:42] Speaker A: I've never been. I've heard. I've heard it's dangerous, though.
[00:48:44] Speaker B: Well, I mean, everywhere is dangerous if you're fucking being an idiot.
No. Memphis Rips. I guess I wouldn't leave like some of the, you know, like the Beale street area, but you got to go see the one with the eighth one of the world. The fucking bass pro shop pyramid, you know, I'm saying, the man made.
[00:49:00] Speaker A: I was expecting something serious. Oh, what's in Memphis, dude?
[00:49:04] Speaker B: Well, it's. I mean, it's. It's unreal. It's literally like the size of the pyramid of Giza. And they're like, it's huge.
[00:49:09] Speaker A: Oh, that's.
[00:49:10] Speaker B: It's a beacon. They like light a. Like a bolt of light out of it at night. It's crazy.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: That's cool.
[00:49:14] Speaker B: And there's a huge fucking aquarium in there. It's so funny.
[00:49:16] Speaker A: That's cool.
[00:49:16] Speaker B: It's a great spot. But now Memphis, Memphis slept on city, great music, phenomenal food.
[00:49:21] Speaker A: Well, Beale Street, I mean, that was.
[00:49:22] Speaker B: Fucking BB King, Rips and Elvis, right above the original BB Kings is a speakeasy that fucking Morgan Freeman owns.
[00:49:30] Speaker A: Morgan Freeman.
[00:49:31] Speaker B: Yeah. And so every Christmas when I was younger, my, like, stepdad raised his kids in Memphis, so one of his sons still lives there. We'd go stay with them and like, see the family and stuff.
[00:49:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:40] Speaker B: And on Christmas Eve, we go up and hang out at that speakeasy. And then sometimes if you walk in at the right time, like Morgan Freeman's tickling the ivories.
[00:49:46] Speaker A: That's cool. And you're like, morgan Freeman, dude. He is. He didn't make. He was living out of his car until he was like 50.
[00:49:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: He's like, that's when you look.
[00:49:55] Speaker B: He needed to age into his voice for him to get famous.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: It's true, dude. He is like, the fact that he.
He made it, it's. It's insane. And he's also beloved by everybody.
[00:50:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. One of the goats. Yeah. That's gonna be a sad day when.
[00:50:07] Speaker A: He passes, when he dies.
[00:50:08] Speaker B: That like the De Niro's and all those guys are getting up there and.
[00:50:11] Speaker A: I'm like, here's the thing, here's the thing. I love De Niro. I love Pacino. These are my guys and New Yorkers, they're great actors and my favorite movies are with them. But De Niro also it up and. And I'm not saying, like, what I believe. Forget what I believe. He got too political. There are going to be people now that Be like him. Good.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: Yeah, he ruined. I mean, I think he's still gonna supersede more than like a Hogan did just because he's like such a cornerstone. But I think he fucked his career up more with Irishman than he did with his political takes.
[00:50:37] Speaker A: You want to know? I mean, that's. That's funny actually, but I watched that once and I went, what the fuck is this?
[00:50:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:42] Speaker A: And I watched a second time and I went, this is actually not bad.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: I mean. Yeah, I get. I just think we go. We've gone too far with like the de aging cgi.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: It didn't look good. Fucking terrible.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: Come on, dude.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you and the. When he was kicking like the guy's face, I'm like, that's an old man kick.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: That's how he just can't lift his leg anymore. Yeah, that's the best he's doing. Steven Seagal right now. He just. The best he can.
[00:51:01] Speaker A: Yeah, literally. Dude.
[00:51:03] Speaker B: Now that is tough. But no, I think it's. It is brutal because I guess like, you know, everyone feels this. I was having this debate last night at a bar. I was talking about how I think George Clooney is the last. The last A list celebrity that we have. Because he's the last guy that like shows up, hot shit drops into the site, guys, puts out a heater and then just disappears again. And there's like mystique around him about it.
[00:51:21] Speaker A: You think Pitts already like with the. With the scandal with his wife and shit?
[00:51:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. Well, yeah, cuz he's still a tabloid kid in a way that like, I think. I think the best argument for the like last A list celebrities are everyone that was in the Ocean's Eleven cast.
[00:51:32] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:51:32] Speaker B: I think that's like the last like silver Hollywood like movie that comes out.
[00:51:36] Speaker A: DiCaprio too.
[00:51:37] Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean, DiCaprio's got all his politics shit and his like 25 year old, like. Yeah, but he's become a tabloid head and he's gotten all his, you know, doing that. Like, what is it? Don't look up or whatever. Like those kind of things. It's like, you blew it. Yeah, we get where you're like, Clooney is just like. He comes in, he. He's like hotter with age. And then he disappears again after a movie. And then it's like, bang, done trying.
[00:51:56] Speaker A: To think of one other. He's a nut. He's. He's a tabloid person. Also. Tom Cruise, he's the last actor.
[00:52:02] Speaker B: He's Mr. Hollywood, bro.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: He is Tom Cruise.
[00:52:05] Speaker B: Talk about being in Clearwater, the fucking east coast hub of Scientology, bro. He missed Mr. Fucking Movies, dude. He's the man.
[00:52:12] Speaker A: He is.
[00:52:12] Speaker B: He can do whatever he wants. He's got a blank check in my book.
[00:52:14] Speaker A: Dude. Honestly, I feel the same way. If he does, it could shoot Leah.
[00:52:17] Speaker B: Remini in the head and I'd be like, let him make another dude.
[00:52:19] Speaker A: We need another Mission Impossible. This guy's got a.
He's amazing.
[00:52:23] Speaker B: He's unreal. It's like the. To do your own stunts like that is ins. At his age is. Dude, I want the last like four Mission Impossibles. I've been like. But I watched that whole movie just to watch that airplane scene.
[00:52:33] Speaker A: That's literally like.
[00:52:34] Speaker B: He's doing that for real. That's insane. No wires. And I'm like, what are we doing?
[00:52:37] Speaker A: It's. It's the coolest thing ever. There's never. I don't think. I mean, the last person to do some like, that was probably Buster Keaton when it was. And that was a hundred years ago.
[00:52:46] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yeah. The last of the last, like Pratt fall comics. Yeah. Like, all doing all those crazy stunts and shit with the train and the house falling on them and stuff.
[00:52:52] Speaker A: Crazy.
[00:52:53] Speaker B: And then you skip four generations and you get.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: And then you get Tom Cruise and they'll never be anyone ever again.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: No. I mean, Hollywood would never risk an action stars, like, you know, that's all million dollar policies and all that. They're never gonna kill a guy. Yeah, it's. I'm shocked he hasn't died.
[00:53:06] Speaker A: Dude. It's. It's kind of that scuba diving scene.
[00:53:08] Speaker B: In the last Mission Impossible. I was like, it's not just underwater. Not breathing for minutes at a time. I'm like, what are we doing?
[00:53:14] Speaker A: He's. But you have to be a level of insane. He's not. Well, like.
[00:53:17] Speaker B: Well, I mean, he has alien spirits coursing through his veins.
[00:53:20] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: He's got the feet and spirits telling him what to do.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: But you know who he's. He's. He's dating now. Anna D. Arms. Whatever.
[00:53:27] Speaker B: Really? Anna Dermis.
[00:53:28] Speaker A: Dermis. There we go. That you cultured? You.
[00:53:31] Speaker B: Sorry, I pronounced the woman's name correctly.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: You don't have. Who cares?
[00:53:34] Speaker B: You don't know. Kevin Denouement.
[00:53:39] Speaker A: She's. They're dating now.
[00:53:40] Speaker B: Really?
[00:53:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:53:40] Speaker B: Good for him.
[00:53:41] Speaker A: That's great.
[00:53:42] Speaker B: Say, you know, if you can do flips like that over a plane, imagine what he's doing to that poor girl.
[00:53:45] Speaker A: I can't even Imagine. But he's probably Scientology.
[00:53:48] Speaker B: Oh, well, for sure.
[00:53:50] Speaker A: Dude. I, I. When I was living in la, I did task Rabbit and I went. I would go like, every two weeks to this. I would, like, clean people's houses. Like, I was so desperate for money.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Dude, I get it.
[00:53:59] Speaker A: Cleaning lady. And I went to ladies of choice.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: You're like, I didn't have to wear the French mess made outfit, but, you know, I always wanted a good.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: I would duct tape my cog. It was.
It was a porn star. This. This.
[00:54:12] Speaker B: Oh, that was pretty deep.
[00:54:13] Speaker A: Clean, legit. It was.
[00:54:15] Speaker B: Should I be sitting on this couch right now?
[00:54:17] Speaker A: It's. Dude, she was. She had cats. The cats were filthy, but she was all right. She was hot. I didn't realize she was porn star. But then I looked on her fridge and she had pictures of her, like, spread, and her. Her girlfriend's naked. And I'm like, oh, wow, that's. That's wild.
[00:54:33] Speaker B: Sorry, man.
[00:54:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to look, but I'm gonna look. And then I looked her up and she was a porn star. And I found on her table. Like, I was going there for a couple weeks, she'd hit me up, and I'm like, you know, we chat and she goes, I saw she had a Scientology thing and I looked at her. I said, are you. It was like on. I was actually on the fridge, and it was like a pass, like a. Yeah, something. And I looked at like, are you doing Scientology? She goes, oh, my God. Yeah. She goes, are you into it? And I'm like, not really. And she goes, oh, my God. Like, I feel like it's really, like, gives me, like, the sense of purpose. And I'm looking at her, I go, oh, no, they got her. They got you.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: They're like, we have way worse photos than her asshole on our fridge. So you gotta fucking be in part of the well there. So I grew up in Ocala. Like, I'm from the Keys, but I grew up in central Florida.
[00:55:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:16] Speaker B: And then John Travolta, like, live. He has a house in my hometown.
[00:55:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: And I was like a theater kid. And my friend Victoria and I were like, you know, we'd be in plays and shit. He hit us up and was like, hey, I'm opening a business in downtown Ocala. Like, I'd love for you guys to do, like, a grease room, be part of the premiere, like, whatever. And we were like, fuck, yeah. I invited his daughter to my 8th grade dance. Gotta know, but a boy can try.
[00:55:38] Speaker A: I don't date Jews.
[00:55:39] Speaker B: I think literally it was. He sent me back, like, a manila folder full of signed autographs. Like, chase your dreams, but don't fucking talk to my daughter.
I'm like, fine.
[00:55:47] Speaker A: See, that's cool.
[00:55:48] Speaker B: I was like, at least he fucking hooked it up. But he hit us up, and she's like, from Ireland. Irish Catholic.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:55] Speaker B: And so we were like, yeah, we'll fucking sing for Don't. Whatever. Cool. And then it turned out he opened a Church of Scientology in our downtown. And she was like, I can't do this at all. But when it opened, it's like, I mean, they all look like bookstores because they don't want you to know. And so my buddies and I would go in after school and we. Because it's just like in our downtown. We walk downtown and we'd walk into the. Into the church and be like, real interesting bookstore you got. Why you guys only selling one book? What's going on here? And they would. They bring you cookies and lemonade and all, and they, like, you know, really trying to get you. And they try to get you upstairs for like a. Whatever the like, seismic thing is.
But what they would do is, is they'd give you, like, free massages because they'd be like, we have to find where in your body the feet and spirits are hanging out. So I just give them a different one of my friends emails every week, and I go to get a free back massage.
[00:56:36] Speaker A: See, that's funny. That's cool.
[00:56:38] Speaker B: My friends are like, why am I getting all these emails from the Church of Scientology? I'm like, I don't know. I'm not getting these either. That's crazy.
[00:56:42] Speaker A: But my back feels great.
[00:56:43] Speaker B: I would just shave a different facial hairstyle like once a month and go in and get any massage or do whatever.
[00:56:48] Speaker A: They're. They're a wild group of people, man. They're insane.
Let's see. What time. What time is it? Oh, I gotta get out of here. In a minute. What does that say? What time is it? What you got in your watch? Oh, perfect. We got like 10 minutes.
[00:56:58] Speaker B: Perfect. We're cooking. We'll close on Scientology.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: Yeah. I love talking about sites. You watch documentaries, right?
[00:57:04] Speaker B: Of course, dude.
[00:57:05] Speaker A: Going clear.
[00:57:07] Speaker B: It's nuts.
[00:57:08] Speaker A: It's wild that they're still able. I mean. Oh, it's a religion. That's the thing.
[00:57:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:57:11] Speaker A: But like, to operate, it's.
[00:57:12] Speaker B: I mean, it's one of the most effective. Well, that's the thing there. East coast headquarters in Clearwater, and one of our One of my buddies, like, like, friends from high school used to. He was an intern at, like, the Clearwater, like, mayor's office. And there was the day that the, like, paperwork came out that the. The mayor, like, found out how much of the town of Clearwater the Scientologists own. My buddy was, like, a desk clerk there.
[00:57:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:32] Speaker B: And he was like, the mayor threw, like, a chair through a window. He was like, how the. Did we lose our whole city to these people?
[00:57:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:39] Speaker B: And they own, like, the whole town of Clearwater. It's crazy. You walk around Clearwater and you're like, I feel like I'm in Pyongyang or right now. It's an insane feeling.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: Nuts.
[00:57:46] Speaker B: It's, like, too clean, and it's, like, very quiet during the day.
[00:57:49] Speaker A: It's like Pleasantville.
[00:57:50] Speaker B: Yeah. It's. You're literally walking around and they're like.
[00:57:52] Speaker A: And is everyone a Scientologist there or.
[00:57:54] Speaker B: A lot of people. I mean, it's like. But it's a mix of, like, the locals that, you know, like, rat, Florida people that have been there for generations, and then, like, the Scientologists that moved in and took the town over, and.
[00:58:02] Speaker A: Everyone feels the same way. The people who aren't Scientologists are like, this is insane.
[00:58:05] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it's. I feel the same way about Catholics that I do.
You're all crazy.
[00:58:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:10] Speaker B: But it's like they're just. Just knew. So it's like. Okay, that's like. That's like being in Waco, Texas, and you're like, I get it.
[00:58:15] Speaker A: But I mean, the church Scientology, apparently they got slaves in the basement.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: Oh, dude. Well, that's. You take all those cruises and. And you're, like, scrubbing floors, and, you know, you're doing all this, you know, so it's all indoctrination.
[00:58:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:26] Speaker B: Same as any of these.
[00:58:27] Speaker A: Which. Yes. The Catholicism. They're kids, which is no good either.
But they got a really ceiling, dude.
[00:58:34] Speaker B: At least they have gold stained glass.
[00:58:36] Speaker A: Yeah. There's, like, some nice.
[00:58:37] Speaker B: I stayed with the memories of those children's innocence.
[00:58:39] Speaker A: But that building. I used to live down the street from the church. I'm not. Not like.
No, no. At Church of Scientology, when I was in la, I would walk down, like, going towards Silver Lake, and I would see that giant blue building, and I would go.
You just get bad vibes, dude.
[00:58:56] Speaker B: I mean. Yeah, it's all creepy. Yeah. You feel like. That's the thing is, like, you know, and I get the same feeling when I walk into a church, when I Walk into a Anything. It's like you walk by and you're like, there's.
[00:59:05] Speaker A: But the Vatican's beautiful.
[00:59:06] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I mean, it's built on the bones of horrors.
Yeah. They killed our people, but it's fine, you know? But I got their guy first, so I guess it's.
[00:59:14] Speaker A: That's the thing we did. Fuck him.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: No, dude, I was walking. I was at Grove 34 yesterday, and I was walking by to the train, and this guy was like, jesus loves you. Just so you know. And I was like, I'm fucking Jewish. And he goes, he still loves you. I go, we killed him once. We'll do it again.
The guy goes, oh, my God. I go, yeah, that's our guy.
It was so funny. He's like, I've never been talked to like that before. I was like, I love you.
[00:59:35] Speaker A: Did you. Do you pray? Like, when the Jews come up to you, like, on the train? I always lie. I feel bad lying.
[00:59:42] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, I was in. There's a Jewish grocery store, like, on, like, the side of Williamsburg. I always go get, like, pastries and stuff, like, rugala and stuff. But. But dudes, I don't look like an Orthodox.
[00:59:52] Speaker A: Don't.
[00:59:53] Speaker B: Yeah, but. So Jews will come up to me. They'll go, you Jewish? And I'm like, would you sniff me out, dude? How'd you figure this one out? But all the time, they get it. They all always, like. I can see they.
[01:00:01] Speaker A: They always say it to me. And I'm gonna. Once in a while, I'll do it, but it very rarely. Just because I'm like, I gotta be somewhere. I can't say I'm in a rush, bro. Yeah.
[01:00:09] Speaker B: I don't. I. Though. I'm not religious at all, but, like. Though I have. I'm very good friends with a rabbi in Ohio, and him and I are boys. Like, just as. Like. He's like a mentor in a. In a friendship way. And so, you know, I'm tight with him. I don't disrespect their. But I'm always like. This whole thing's. I'm like, It's.
[01:00:23] Speaker A: It's insane. They're living.
[01:00:24] Speaker B: I do want to see the tunnels, though, so I might have to.
[01:00:26] Speaker A: I've heard good things.
[01:00:28] Speaker B: I know. Yeah, well, I mean, what are you gonna do? You gotta crawl your way in, dude.
[01:00:31] Speaker A: Crown Heights, man, That's. That's another. It's another fucking planet. The parts of Williamsburg.
[01:00:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:00:36] Speaker A: I don't feel Jewish.
[01:00:38] Speaker B: I walk around there, and I'm like.
[01:00:40] Speaker A: Yeah, like, this Is not what I'm like.
[01:00:42] Speaker B: I'm showing off my lack of foreskin to be like, I promise, I swear to God, I'm one of you.
[01:00:47] Speaker A: Yeah, they.
[01:00:48] Speaker B: But I'll do it. I'll redo it. It's starting to sad touched up. Yeah. It's like getting those bag eye bag surgeries.
Gotta get rid of the crow's feet.
[01:00:57] Speaker A: That's funny.
[01:00:58] Speaker B: The undercarriage.
[01:01:02] Speaker A: That's culty too. It's fucking culty.
[01:01:04] Speaker B: It's all. Yeah. It's just old. So they're like, this is fine.
[01:01:06] Speaker A: It's okay.
[01:01:07] Speaker B: It's It. Once you hit a critical mass, you go from Waco, Texas to like religion.
[01:01:11] Speaker A: But they also have.
When they take the money, they're not. It's going into. So like the church Scientology. When they take your money, they're robbing you, essentially.
But are the Jews and the Catholics robbing you? Like, they're not taking. They're sucking. You drive everything.
[01:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:01:26] Speaker A: I mean, telling you family.
[01:01:27] Speaker B: Yeah. It just depends because I think if you go into like the real Pentecostal cults and like that, it'll do the guys. Yeah. The snake.
Yeah. There's always sects of it. I think that's the thing is, like, eventually there will come a time when like, there will be reformed Mormons and like, they'll break off and have a sack. There'll be reformed, you know.
[01:01:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:42] Speaker B: It just has to hit that age and like critical mass or something.
They just don't have their Martin Luther yet to like, break away and do their thing. That's where there's like 10 sects of Judaism, 10, 100 sects of Christianity.
[01:01:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:53] Speaker B: You know, the Sunnis and the Shiites, all that. So.
[01:01:55] Speaker A: I mean, Judy, Judaism is the oldest religion, right?
[01:01:58] Speaker B: That's what they say. I mean, all this religion is like, I like that tree. It reminds me of my grandfather. And now I'm gonna kill a baby about it or whatever.
I had to eat a hawk today so I could make the sunrise again tomorrow.
[01:02:09] Speaker A: That is true.
[01:02:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:02:10] Speaker A: It was that we had to kill.
[01:02:12] Speaker B: All of them, our firstborn. So we have corn.
[01:02:15] Speaker A: That's. That's just Native American, right?
[01:02:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
We use the whole buffalo, if you know what I'm talking about.
[01:02:24] Speaker A: I. Dude, that was a wild thing. When I was in Oklahoma, the just how the what the is the word that I'm looking for. The Native Americans there just horrible existence.
[01:02:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
Why would that be?
[01:02:41] Speaker A: I know we took their land, but. Well, we didn't take their land.
[01:02:44] Speaker B: Well, we. We Jews, we Didn't take.
[01:02:45] Speaker A: We didn't take the. The wasps.
[01:02:48] Speaker B: Protestant cock.
[01:02:49] Speaker A: Those Mayflower.
[01:02:51] Speaker B: Those pansy ass Carolinians.
[01:02:53] Speaker A: Dude, we didn't do. We just came up after. We're like, oh, I guess there's something going on over there.
[01:02:57] Speaker B: What? Where is everybody? Yeah, you guys don't want to hang out? I heard about this Thanksgiving. I don't understand. There's no, there's no thanks to be given. I don't know. What are you doing?
I heard there was going to be a big meal.
[01:03:10] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Well, maybe I'll stop in.
[01:03:13] Speaker B: I heard there's a lot of. A lot of fine food.
[01:03:16] Speaker A: I'll bring rugala.
But it's. What are you doing?
[01:03:20] Speaker B: No, the Trail of Tears. We have something like that of our own.
[01:03:25] Speaker A: Don't do that.
But if we could build a bank here.
[01:03:29] Speaker B: Oh, casino. You need somebody around your finance.
[01:03:32] Speaker A: We'll do that.
See, that's the thing. We're. We're in. We're in it. But we didn't. We didn't start it, you know, we didn't start. Exactly, dude. But they're fucking. They're living.
[01:03:43] Speaker B: Yeah, because when I was living the Dakotas and stuff. It's crazy because it's like we. It's all this placated shit of like, oh, we gave them casinos and it's like. Well, I'm like, oh yeah, you put like eight. Eight pieces of land where like we could technically can gamble. Because it's not America.
[01:03:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:58] Speaker B: And so they just. It's like, it's a two edged sword because they're. I mean, they're all bankrolled. Like they live for free.
[01:04:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:02] Speaker B: But it's like they're gonna use. They all turn. Use that money to like do drugs and drink alcoholics. And I'll tell you what. Native Americans, best fucking partiers ever hung out in my life. They can hang. Dude. It's crazy. But yeah, it's like it is a two edged sword where we're just like. I guess we'll just drink them to death instead of like kill the rest of them. Which is an insane way for. But it's like, that's the American way.
[01:04:22] Speaker A: It is the American way. And it's. It's. You know what? I love this country. I really do. I know it's got problems, but I'm like, it's pretty fun.
[01:04:31] Speaker B: I mean, no one's ever said America's not fun.
[01:04:33] Speaker A: That's the thing.
[01:04:34] Speaker B: Nobody's arguing that.
[01:04:35] Speaker A: I equate.
[01:04:36] Speaker B: He goes to Miami or Vegas and goes like, the fuck.
They're at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino. Like, yeah, America place. Great, dude.
They're playing craps with the bones of their ancestors. And they're like, yeah, fucking best, dude I have.
[01:04:53] Speaker A: And that's my problem because I'm fucking retarded. I just equate everything with fun. If it's fun, it's great, great.
But I don't know, man. Like that. But when you go. When I was in Oklahoma, I was like, oh, God, this is pretty rough.
[01:05:05] Speaker B: Yeah. When you get to. When you see it for, like the. When you move the curtain for the wizard of Oz, you're like, oh, yeah.
[01:05:10] Speaker A: Like, Osage reservation. I'm like, yeah, damn.
[01:05:13] Speaker B: Damn, that's a tough one. That's why, like. But you go to Canada. That's what you go to Canada. It's the same thing with their neighbor.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: Oh, so they tore up there too.
[01:05:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, yeah, Canada just gets away with it because they have better health care. And everyone's like, they're nice.
[01:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it's true. And it's not as like, yeah, we're more aggressive here.
[01:05:28] Speaker B: Yeah, we've always been the loud dog on the porch.
We're barking up everyone's tree, so they gotta, you know, which is.
[01:05:34] Speaker A: I mean, fucking this place, dude.
Coney Island.
[01:05:39] Speaker B: We got glizzies, racism, kill. A fucking.
[01:05:43] Speaker A: Italy's got the Coliseum. Fuck that, dude.
[01:05:46] Speaker B: Who needs a Coliseum when we have the Hard Rock Casino?
[01:05:50] Speaker A: I love. I do love. I will say, I would love to live in Italy. Like, that culture of not doing a fucking thing and just.
[01:05:57] Speaker B: That culture being fucking vagabond ass, no working. Dirty ass, dirty fucking wops, motherfuckers.
[01:06:07] Speaker A: I could smoke cigarettes and drink and just. And lay out and do nothing.
[01:06:10] Speaker B: What is different than what you're doing now?
[01:06:14] Speaker A: It's a real good point.
[01:06:17] Speaker B: I can move to Italy and do the exact.
There's that quote where it's like, oh, it's. It's called, like, the Geographic issue or whatever. And you're like, oh, I'll move to a new city and be a new person. It's like, you'll still be you.
You're gonna be your piece of shit fucking sheep's head bay ass, head ass in fucking Rome that you're gonna be.
[01:06:33] Speaker A: Well, it's like we were saying, like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna write when I'm there. I'm gonna do this. We're gonna drink and fucking pass out.
[01:06:38] Speaker B: I'm gonna go find myself in Paris. And I'm just chain Smoking cigarettes and shoving a baguette down my throat. And I'm like, yeah, I'm the same guy.
[01:06:44] Speaker A: I will say, you know what's really cool of going to. To Europe, especially, like a place like Italy.
And you probably experience this being the alpha dog there, like, being a new. You could say, you'll say you're from New York or you live in New York. That's all. That's all you need to say.
[01:07:00] Speaker B: Oh, it's so.
[01:07:01] Speaker A: It's crazy.
Like New York. Are you kidding? And then, dude, it's so good, you're automatically top dog. I mean, sure, those Italian. But the thing is, if you bring women from America, oh, yeah, they're fucking Pedro and fucking Geo and all these guys.
[01:07:13] Speaker B: Well, it's so funny because, like, the same thing happens in comedy. Because I started in Ohio and I would, you know, I'd go on the road and try to hit clubs up and be like, hey, I'm from Ohio. Dah, dah, dah, dah. Nothing.
[01:07:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:07:21] Speaker B: And then it's like, now I just. I'm the same comedian I was in Ohio, but now I just say, oh, I'm from New York. And they're like doing a headline and that's. Yeah, I'm like, oh, it's literally, I'm paying more in rent to use the name New York City to go. And it's like, that's crazy. But it's true.
[01:07:33] Speaker A: It's the best people here in New York. It's automatically in some places in the country if it's not comedy. They just think you're a fucking douchebag.
[01:07:41] Speaker B: Oh, sure.
[01:07:41] Speaker A: Which is fine. But with entertainment, they hear New York, they're like, you must be doing something.
Yeah.
[01:07:47] Speaker B: And I'm like, no, I'm just bankrupt.
[01:07:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And in Italy, they think, oh, like you so much. So interesting.
[01:07:53] Speaker B: They're like, do you know my cousin, Men?
[01:07:55] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I met him.
[01:07:57] Speaker B: They're like, I'm gonna go back to the sandwich shop. I promise I'm gonna get an eggplant farm. I swear to God, dude. Hell yeah.
[01:08:04] Speaker A: What time?
[01:08:05] Speaker B: It's been fun.
[01:08:05] Speaker A: This has been. Yeah.
[01:08:07] Speaker B: Heart out. And we are right on the nose.
[01:08:09] Speaker A: This has been. Dude, I really appreciate you coming. This has been.
[01:08:12] Speaker B: This rocks. You got a great pad here. Fun fucking pod. It's always good catching up.
[01:08:15] Speaker A: I'm gonna have Jamie on, and then I want to have both you guys on.
[01:08:18] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll chop it up. We'll do a little.
[01:08:19] Speaker A: We'll do a drinking. Like, we'll cut out time for the podcast. And then we'll fucking just get way.
[01:08:23] Speaker B: Dude, we should rip. I think. I guess I will be gone for most of the rest of the summer, but if it's still nice out in October, I think we should do a big comedians like barbecue or something at Coney island and get a whole party. I'm so down for the summer.
[01:08:34] Speaker A: We could. We could still go on the beach even if Coney Islands closed. We can do it on the beach.
[01:08:37] Speaker B: Yeah, whatever. I just think we should do a Brighton beach day or something. Get all the comics out here and just fucking big chill.
[01:08:41] Speaker A: That's what Joe, Eli and Cam I. When we do the four person. We're doing it again next week.
[01:08:45] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[01:08:46] Speaker A: We. We were like, all right, we're gonna. We. We get fucked up here and then we just getting fucked up for the.
[01:08:50] Speaker B: Rest of the day. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm in town until I fly out on Monday the 25th, but if you guys are fucking around, I'd get some comics out here, we'll do a big. Actually, you know what I would love to do? There's a.
Slater and I were talking about this the other day. There's like a taco cruise that goes around the Hudson. It's like seven bucks for a ticket. And then it's just like, you know, whatever. Buy pipe or taco or whatever. It's like endless bottomless Margaret's and tacos and shit.
Get a bunch of comics out there and just around on a boat.
[01:09:12] Speaker A: I get a little seasick. That's the only thing. And if I'm eating tacos and throwing up, I'm gonna be. And throwing up.
[01:09:18] Speaker B: I didn't know you were a. I.
[01:09:20] Speaker A: Got no sea legs. Dude.
[01:09:22] Speaker B: I forget, not everyone has the Florida blood. Yeah, that's true, dude. It's not like. It's not like you're rocking on a boat. It's like a big.
[01:09:27] Speaker A: You know, if it. I mean, I'm down to take the risk. Worst comes first.
[01:09:30] Speaker B: Just throw up a couple of Motrin or whatever.
Yeah, whatever it is.
[01:09:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
Isn't that what you take when you have your period?
Oh my. Oh my. That's right.
[01:09:39] Speaker B: There it is. Yeah, Pop. Pop a few mighty's and get out of there. Mighty Mouse over here and get on the water. Hit the high seas. But no, we'll get some going. Yeah, we got a.
[01:09:48] Speaker A: Well, I think next Sunday. Come to the beach.
[01:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll figure some out. I'll be down. Sweet.
[01:09:51] Speaker A: All right, guys, it's been Jake Lemonade thank you for watching. This has been. Dude, this is a lot of fun.
[01:09:56] Speaker B: Love it. It's always good to see you, buddy.
