Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Okay, so this basketball all right, but what's your threshold? You got to lick an ass, right? What's the sport that you want that girl to play? Or what's the like, she I know what you're saying. What's the one, the farthest she'll go like, I can't go any further than that. You have to eat an ass?
[00:00:17] Speaker B: It depends how much I love her.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it comes down like a stranger's ass. It doesn't come down to the head. It comes down to the heart. If I'm feeling it, if she just ran, if she just did the Iron Man or the Iron Woman, whatever they call it.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Like the fucking crazy muscle.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: They do the old biking must be tough. They probably don't even want that. You ever sit on a bike?
[00:00:37] Speaker A: I mean yeah, I've sat on a bike. I was a twelve year old one.
[00:00:40] Speaker B: My dad bikes all the time. I'm pretty sure he's used to it.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: I love your dad. He's a sweet guy, but he bikes like that. Like, he gets the whole outfit, dude.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: He goes for like 60 miles at a time.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: No way. I mean, I haven't seen his calves. He was wearing pants when I saw him.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: They're good. They're good calves, for sure. I always say, like, hey, so do.
[00:00:56] Speaker A: You think your dad his ass sweat, you think? It's probably really intense after that?
[00:01:01] Speaker B: It's got to be. Really?
Yeah, he works out intense. Anybody who like, if I'm walking in New York, bro, it's disgusting. Like, my whole body.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: That's a sport in itself. Walking in the New York heat, I.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Don'T think that's my threshold.
No, I swear. In the New York heat, if I'm single and all that, and I'm going out to a bar and me and this girl are walking back to her place or wherever, and it's a long walk and it's hot out, I would say maybe we'll hang out next week.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: I got to be honest with you. I think also I think that's a very valid I think that's valid. I don't even know if I would do that. Like, if I knew we were walking around all day.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Central park, bro, it might be beautiful day, but it's a nightmare later.
[00:01:48] Speaker A: That's the thing. Then there's also okay, so like this that's pretty bad, eating an ass after that.
I'm trying to think what sport? Volleyball. There's something sex. Fuck, man.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: And that's the thing about hot yoga. It's like I would because the visuals there, but then you get in there and it smells like asparagus.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Yeah, like asparagus that's been laying in the sun for three and a half weeks. Yeah, that's bad.
[00:02:11] Speaker B: Unless you like it.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: So that's the you like I had said, you haven't lived until you've banged while there's a foot in your mouth walking around in the summertime. Also, you don't really want the foot in your mouth. You don't want it to stink.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: And I spend most of my time in New York with my girlfriend, and that's probably why I've never done the foot in the mouth thing.
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Because you're living in I make sense.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: If I lived on the beach, but.
[00:02:38] Speaker A: What if it was like, okay, like, you fully showered. There's no stench. Feet smell. Sometimes we get that everyone has a smelly foot once in a while and a smelly ass, but no smell. And there's a foot.
Do you think you want to lick it? You'll lick it.
[00:02:54] Speaker B: Yeah, if it's there. If it's there. Now, if you're doing, like, doggy, you.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: Can'T get no, you have to do that in missionary. It's got to be on your shoulder. You got to go, you know what?
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Next time, if the opportunity presents itself, if I see it, if it windshield wipes, it's gone.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: Then you'll grab it. You'll like, exactly.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Like a half fried chicken leg.
You ever see that Blooper anchorman?
[00:03:19] Speaker A: No.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: He's like, I'll be there. A big bucket of popcorn. A half live chicken leg. It's funny. I like Bloopers. I watch all the bloopers.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: That's okay. We all watch Bloopers once in a while.
[00:03:28] Speaker B: Bloopers are better than anything, than most things. You ever see Seinfeld?
[00:03:32] Speaker A: Yes, I've seen some of the bloopers.
[00:03:34] Speaker B: The bloopers are great.
[00:03:35] Speaker A: They are.
They're almost as good as the show.
You know what I realized, though? I was just thought about it when we talk about, like, oh, what would you do? Obviously, some people lick strangers asses. But whatever, it's fine.
[00:03:50] Speaker B: But it's fine.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: The thing is, you go into a nightclub, right?
[00:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: You see a girl, she's been dancing all night.
[00:03:56] Speaker B: All night.
[00:03:57] Speaker A: It's hot. It's a summertime. Even if it's not summertime, it's fucking hot in that club.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: And that person's like, yo, I want to take you home and sleep with you.
You're not going to think twice.
[00:04:08] Speaker B: That's what these are for.
That's what these are for.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: That's true. But still, people are sweaty and stinky. I've done it before, where you're like, all right, let's go home and fuck. But you don't think about how fucking gross it actually is.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: No, but it's like, back in the day, the amount of showers that people take now is very new. Humans have been around for, like, ten to 15,000 years, and only in the last hundred years, 50 years, have people showered this much. So, like, before 1950, everyone was fucking was literally fucking dirty.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah. They smelled like ass. Well, before 1950, you said, got to be. Yeah, everyone was a little stinky.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: This is new.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, I get that. Back in the day, you went to a nightclub and you smelled a little bit. I guess it was part of the deal. But now it's like you went to the saloon. The saloon with, like, the swinging doors, and you're like, who's got the sweatiest? Vague.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: Can you imagine the saloons I would fit in in a saloon? Don't get me wrong, but I can't.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Imagine them fit in in a saloon.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: What? You wouldn't fit in in a saloon?
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Every time the doors would open, you know how they have the two doors and they go and I walk in, I stand there for, like, the 15 second one shot, like the one take, right? And then I walk over to the table, win the blackjack hand, go up, see a prostitute that's waiting for me.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: Because she knows you, because you're there every week.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: And then I go get a glass of bourbon and not walk out. That's a saloon day.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: And then you're dead at 21 because you have syphilis.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Right. Yeah, but that's what it was like back then.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: And people you're talking about my great grandfather, he had syphilis at 21. No, he was the saloon guy.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Oh, he was the guy who hung out in the saloon.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah, he liked it there.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Really?
[00:05:51] Speaker B: No, but I bet I like to imagine it. See, we're creatives. We like to imagine things.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: That is true. That is true.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: That's where I get all my confidence, because I imagine all these different things.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Really?
[00:06:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: I always imagine never was I imagine.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: Like, I have amazing hair.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: You do have good hair. I know. You got very good hair.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Oh, thank you.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Yeah, it's nice and long.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: Thank you. Yeah, I think it was long when we were filming.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: It was very long.
It's always been pretty long when I saw you. But you lost some weight also recently. Yeah, I feel like you lost weight.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm flush.
I thought I was putting on some Lbs. Some Lbs? No, the thing is, I don't eat till like, 03:00. Like 03:00. P.m.. That's when I eat. That's when I start late. Dude, I know it's late. Yeah, but you just said I look skinny. You just said I look like an Olympian.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: That's exactly what I said.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Olympian was what I said.
[00:06:41] Speaker B: This is what you get.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: I mean, God bless. Dude, you do have the body. You have the ankles of an Olympian.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: You see these things?
[00:06:47] Speaker A: Yeah, you have the ankles of a female volleyball player. I may lick your ass later.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: You look like oh, first. Yeah. Second. You look like you've been working out, though.
[00:06:56] Speaker A: I have been.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: You don't look like you've lost weight. It looks like you've transmuted it.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I turned it into muscle a little bit. I've been working out. I've been taking care of myself a little better. I mean, I cut down on the drinking lately. I've talked about it before, but as I'm drinking beer, I'm more sober. I made him no, it's fine. He's trying to get some later.
[00:07:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I walked around New York all day today.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: Oh, so you got that sweaty ass, bro.
It's fresh, but yeah, man, I've been working out. But the thing is also, back to the showers. Is I shower twice a day now because I'm like, okay, I shower before I go to work. I'm sweating at work, and then I go to the gym, and then I shower when I get home. Before.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: Never happened before 1950.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: But now that you have the option to shower all the time, I showered probably twice. You never in your life have ever said to a girl after bringing them home from a nightclub, yo, why don't you hop in the shower real quick because you want to get to business. Like, yo, it's going to I think that's offensive.
I agree.
[00:07:58] Speaker B: And then she would be like, why don't you fucking get in the shower? But then I would say, how about we take a shower together?
[00:08:02] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. My friend. I was on vacation with him once, and some girl she was talking to, whatever, is years ago, and she gave him a bath. She was the one who told him, let's get in the bath. And she gave him a bath.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: That sounds really nice.
[00:08:18] Speaker A: I mean, it was nice. And it wasn't like a prostitute or anything. This was like a regular girl.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: No, she sounds normal.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: But no one's ever offered me to give me a bath.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: No.
[00:08:26] Speaker A: And then sleep with me. She was like rubbing him down and washing him. This was fucking that sounds really country.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: It sounds great, though. I don't remember the last time I actually took a bath, but I've been looking forward to my next bath. Does a hot tub count as a bath?
[00:08:42] Speaker A: No, not really. But a hot tub's great, though.
[00:08:44] Speaker B: Hot tub's good. I don't remember the last time I was in a hot tub.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: Mean when I lived in La. We had a fucking hot tub.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: Where'd you have it on the it.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: Was outside in the amenities area. Like there was building was fucking nice, dude. I was living it up over there. Goddamn.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Fucking you miss.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Sometimes.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Sometimes.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: I miss La.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: I lived in La for three months.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: And where were you?
[00:09:08] Speaker B: Like Culver City area.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Culver's nice. There's some sketch areas, but I didn't.
[00:09:13] Speaker B: Do a single thing. I was writing my first movie, and so I worked at Sony Studios.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:19] Speaker B: And then when I was done with work, I would come right back to my apartment and just start writing till the end.
[00:09:25] Speaker A: You should be doing that's. A smart person.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: I didn't meet a single person.
Not meet I met a lot of people, but I didn't go out socially once.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: That's fucked up.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: That's fucked up. That's what I'm saying. That's not good. I go through these phases where I'll be super social, super outgoing, and then I'll wake up one day and be like, the world won't move unless you push it, Noah. And then I'll just dive.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: You won't leave your house, and you'll be writing all the time.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Writing, doing something. I'm in that phase right now. Yeah, you're the first person I've spoken to in a long time.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: Jesus Christ.
[00:09:56] Speaker B: No, I'm joking. Holy shit. No, but I'm in work mode, right?
[00:10:00] Speaker A: You okay?
[00:10:00] Speaker B: No, I'm in work mode, I tell you. I go through these phases where I'm like, boom.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Which is good. I think it's good to have those. But you need the balance of, like especially in this fucking whatever that we're doing. I mean, you're filmmaking, you direct, you do all that shit is that you got to have that balance of working fucking hard. Sleep is like that takes the back burner.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: I know I need sleep.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: I do too, but at the same time, it's like, you need to work and go out. You need to work, write, do whatever you got to do at home. Go out. It's so important to fucking go out. I also in La. Had sometimes some trouble with that. I spent a lot of time alone as well. But it's hard. You have to be out and about. You have to be meeting people. And I'm having trouble with it right now in New York again, I'm like, I'm burnt out and I don't want to fucking do anything.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Also, I didn't know anybody in like I really didn't know a single soul.
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Except for, like, what were you doing? You went there for a job for three months.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: That was it.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: Okay, well, I had family out there, and I saw them every Sunday. That was like, my social time. But like, kids, because I was a kid then, too. I mean, I'm still a kid, but I was way younger. I think it was senior year of college. That's where I was working, and I took the semester off just to go work. But people my age, I didn't meet a soul. And I regret not doing it, but I also don't, because that next semester that I did go back to school. That's when I shot my first movie.
And what can I regret?
[00:11:28] Speaker A: There's nothing to regret. Any decision that you make, I always.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Tell people, oh, I have no regrets. Because every decision you make yeah, I.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: Mean, look, I mean, I have some regrets. Like a couple of things I did that I probably wouldn't want to do it again.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: Say them all.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: I don't know if I want to say them here, but there's a couple of things I could count on. Maybe three hands.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: Am I doing? One more.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead, have a beer.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: Have a beer. You haven't yet?
[00:11:51] Speaker A: No. Have twelve more.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: By the way, I could beer is like fucking water. All right. Anyways, go on. Sorry, I keep fucking yapping.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: No, it's a fucking every experience is good experience, man. Even the bad ones. If you don't learn something, then maybe you're a little fucking retarded.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: But that word's making a comeback.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: I think so, man. I don't give a fuck. I've been getting ripped on TikTok TikTok. They fucking hate me.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: I know we can say retarded, but can we say fucking shit and shit?
[00:12:21] Speaker A: We could say fuck.
[00:12:23] Speaker B: I've said fuck before, actually.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Yeah, you could say fuck all the time. I say it every podcast. I say fuck. Retarded, asshole.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Retarded's. Cool again. No, listen, I have retarded. I'm pretty sure my brother's retarded. Like, actually on the spectrum. Did I meet your brother Justin?
[00:12:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: We have the same last name, by the way.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: We do? This is Noah Marks. M-A-R-K-S I'm Harrison Marks Marx. Yeah, which is kind of wild.
[00:12:47] Speaker B: I don't think you met my brother, though. No, he's a nutcase.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: What do you mean, nutcase?
[00:12:52] Speaker B: He's nutcase, bro. Here we go.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Is he older or younger?
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Younger.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: You sure you want to talk about him?
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: He's my baby bro.
[00:13:01] Speaker A: Okay. So go for it. I'm down.
[00:13:03] Speaker B: He is super strict, even though I get very strict myself.
I'm very hard on myself. He takes it to the extreme where he has, like, a 40 everything in college right now. He's doing his thing.
He's doing everything right. But he'll get 98% on a test. He'll get, like, one multiple choice question wrong, and he'll call me, be like, time to go find some concrete and drop it on my fucking foot. And he's that serious about being perfect. It drives him a little crazy, but he's the straightest arrow ever.
[00:13:42] Speaker A: And listen, drugs, alcohol, nothing.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: Alcohol, a little bit of booze from time to time, but when I ask him, never, I'll be like, Justin, want to have a beer? He goes, no. I was like, Why? He's like, Because we're not, like, having ten. I'm not going to have just one.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: He could have ten, though.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: He could have ten, but he's not going to have ten. He'll never have, like, ten.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: That dude. Imagine that. That's got to be a rough way to live.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: He loves it. He loves stability and strategy and structure.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: Fine, but perfection is not possible.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: Tell him that. He's going to keep trying. And listen, my baby bro.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: No, of course. But, dude, I mean, at some point.
[00:14:23] Speaker B: Excuse me, we're opposite sides of the spectrum in interests where I like creative shit. I love Pirates of the Caribbean. Dead man's chest. He likes balance sheets, but he's just as serious about it as, like, I am.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: Your brother sounds fucking boring.
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
[00:14:45] Speaker B: Not Justin. You're crazy. Shout out.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: No, I mean, you're Noah's brother, so you're okay in my book. But that's fucking I mean, perfection, though.
The idea of perfection is so fucking impossible it could kill you.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: I think so. I just don't want to get on the road. It's a nice mic, sponsored by but.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: Have you ever been like there was a point where I probably thought like, that when I was in my early 20s, when I'm like, well, that's what he is.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: He's early 20s, too, but not on tests.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Tests I never wanted to be perfect. I was like, fuck this shit. This is bullshit.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah, he's very futurist in things where he likes the plan.
He doesn't like uncertainty. And so he'll go to and that's the thing, though, is that life is uncertain. What isn't uncertain?
[00:15:35] Speaker A: You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
[00:15:37] Speaker B: There's one thing that's certain right now. Right here, right now in Texas. No, I'm going to take a sip of this beer. That's fucking certain.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: I agree with that. But that's dude, so wait, did I.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Just I proved the hypothesis incorrect then? Because I was certain. But everything's uncertain.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but you know what could be uncertain is that there could be a fucking earthquake in New York, which never happens, and this building could crash down and we could both die together. Together. We'd die together. And then the only thing left would be this podcast, and hopefully someone will publish it.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: The aliens would find it and be like, this is what mankind was made.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: Speaking of aliens, I was talking to a budy of mine today, and he was saying to me, he was watching Ancient Aliens and talking about Ayahuasca and DMT. Now, do you know anything about those drugs or not?
[00:16:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So Ayahuasca, you take one in the morning and one in the evening, right?
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Yes, I do. That one is a suppository that I shove up my ass, and then right before I get my asshole licked, it goes in there.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Well, it's like drinking a pill with water, right? You need someone to lick your asshole when you put in like an enemy.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: That's right, yes. I never taken a pill without someone licking my asshole before.
That's exactly right. You know what I'm talking about.
But no. So he's watching this fucking show and it starts talking about Ayahuasca. Now, Ayahuasca is two different things. It's DMT and then this fucking I forgot the name of it, but it's a plant.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Poison ivy.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: No, not poison ivy.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: Poison oak.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: No, nothing fucking poison. And they have to be mixed together in order to create the Ayahuasca effect. Now, DMT can get you high alone if you smoke it. That's only a 15 to 20 minutes high. If you smoke DMT and you get fucking blasted, like blasted off. You think you're dying, like you're certain you're dying. You go to another universe, you come back and you're never the same in a good way or maybe a bad way, depending, right. Mental state.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: I've never done a psychedelic, by the way. And you know that. By the way. Remember we were filming and you were like, you should come over, lick my.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Ass and do some DMT. I remember that. Yes, I was.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: It was late at night. We were filming, like, the van scene.
[00:17:35] Speaker A: The van scene when Charlie was fucking doing his yeah, yeah.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: That was fun, Bob. That was a fun night.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: It was a fun night.
[00:17:40] Speaker B: But yeah, you're like, yo, like, stay in the van with me.
[00:17:44] Speaker A: And then I pulled out a bag of meth and I was like, just fucking sniff this.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: No, man. It was a DMT for sure. No, you were like, if there was one person if there was one person to do it with, I would like to do it with you.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: I mean, dude, I'm your guy. And I don't tell anybody anybody that I know who if you're uncertain and you don't want to do anything like that, don't fucking do it. Don't fucking do it. It's a bad idea. But if you're interested and you're like, hey, I think I'm in the place. I'd be like, yo, I'm your fucking dude. I'm not a shaman by any means, but I've taken people on trips, girlfriends and whatever. People who are interested. And I protected them. And I was like, don't worry. We're going to be good.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: I love that saying. I've taken people on trips before. It's like, where? Mexico?
[00:18:28] Speaker A: No, to the other side of the universe, man. To the fucking outer to the fucking danger zone.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: The event horizon. Yeah. All right. So anyways, you were talking about the chemical.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: It's this specific plant with DMT. They're fucking and you have to mix it to create the Ayahuasca effect. Now, what are the fucking odds they found this in the Amazon, right?
[00:18:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Speaker A: What are the ODS that you find these two things? That a dude found them and was like, these things are what makes it boom in the Amazon.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Well, is ayahuasca naturally found can it be found as a compound already?
[00:19:08] Speaker A: Or does it have to be has to be mixed. It has to be mixed.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: It has to be mixed.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: Yes. It's not together. They're separate it's separately. They're like DMT. Separately is different. It's a different effect because I finish your question.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Finish your question.
[00:19:19] Speaker A: My point is that what are the fucking ODS? And in Ancient Aliens, what my friend was watching on Netflix, the point was that aliens came and showed them to people. Now, I'm not sitting here and saying that that's true. However, what are the fucking ODS? That someone found them was like, let's take this and take this and see what happens.
[00:19:40] Speaker B: Dude, I'll tell you. The ODS, it's like making food, like baking food is like chemistry, you know? Like bakers, they're doing that. So who's thinking about having this powdered flour and then mixing that with chocolate syrup or mixing that with the cocoa bean? You know what I mean? It's like these two such different things. It just happens that one gets you super high and one tastes really good. You know what I'm saying? Where it's like it's a mix. It's a stretch on the National Geographic discovery. Fuckers.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: Are you fucking kidding me, dude? It's in the fucking amazon.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: How do you cocoa beans are in the Amazon.
[00:20:15] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's dude, this is not something that this is not like a fruit or like a bean that comes out. It's a fucking root, like of a plant where you're like, celery fuck that.
[00:20:27] Speaker B: Matzo ball soup.
A bunch of people making matza ball soup, letting bread rise and fall and shit like that. It's like, what are the ODS?
[00:20:37] Speaker A: What are the fucking aliens were there too, man. I don't fucking know.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: They were probably watching.
[00:20:41] Speaker A: They could have been.
[00:20:42] Speaker B: Definitely. I don't think they showed anybody, though. I'm going to tell you what happened.
[00:20:45] Speaker A: Tell me what happened.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Okay. There's two theories I have. There's six theories I have, but two for right now, okay? For right now, okay, so the human was very primate, right? And it was either aliens came down, had some ash, just a little disclaimer.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: Hold on, we know nothing. We have no idea what we're talking about.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: He doesn't. I do.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: He does. Okay, go on.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Aliens came down. We were primates 15,000 years ago, right? Everyone started fucking because they wanted gold. The aliens wanted gold because it's very scarce on their world, okay? So they came and made humans, which are like this half very natural, primitive Earth creature, and then they're kind of more out skirted fuck are you talking? Alien? Listen up. Alien body, right? They came in, they made humans to be basically slaves to mine gold for them and then give them to the aliens. They left and they left us here. And now we're the Earth people, human.
That's one theory. The second theory is that we were just some apes and we stumbled upon like, DMT, and then we're like, well.
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the shit that Joe Rogan always talks about, the stoned ape theory, which I personally like to make sense. It makes fucking sense. I know if I was an ape and I saw some mushrooms, I'm going to eat that shit.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: It looked yummy.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: And if I found psychedelic mushroom, which is my favorite, I love psychedelics.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: Do they look psychedelic when you're about to eat like dude, that salt is like psychedelic. Salt.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: No, the mushrooms look gross and dried out and dehydrated, and then when you eat them, like they can go on.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Top of a paloma. Like that kind of dried fruit?
[00:22:27] Speaker A: Sort of yeah, and not even that. I don't even know. They look kind of like you okay.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: I'm burping up a fucking storm here.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: That's all right.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: I'm sorry.
[00:22:35] Speaker A: No, it's okay. Just don't throw up.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: No, I'm not going to throw up. I haven't thrown up in years, bro.
I had one beer.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: But the dried mushrooms, it's not something that's exactly appetizing. You eat them and it tastes like fucking balls.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: Can you salt and pepper it?
[00:22:51] Speaker A: You could do whatever you want to it. I used to grind them up and put them in orange juice and just drink it. That's kind of cool, but LSD doesn't taste like anything. You just pop it on the tongue, swallow it.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: That's it.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: That's it. And then before you know it, hour later, you're in a fucking whole nother universe, man.
[00:23:06] Speaker B: You like my gold theory.
[00:23:08] Speaker A: I really don't, but come on.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: You like the gold theory.
It's basically we are the mix of alien and primitive earth blood.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Like the ape, maybe.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: And you can't tell me that if you use your imagination, it's not crazy.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: So who do you think built the pyramids?
[00:23:29] Speaker B: We built the pyramids.
[00:23:31] Speaker A: The Jews? Are you Jewish or no?
[00:23:33] Speaker B: Yeah, unfortunately.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: Why unfortunately? We're chosen, baby. What the fuck?
[00:23:36] Speaker B: I know, I'm joking. That's what everyone I guess you know what's funny about Jewish people is I find that Jews, you know, like, the whole thing of, like, the self loathing Jew.
[00:23:46] Speaker A: Me.
[00:23:46] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So that's, like, Jewish. I'm like unfortunately. Yeah.
[00:23:51] Speaker A: No, I know. We support Jews. We love them.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: We are Jewish.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: We are Jewish. But you can be a self hating Jew. But we don't hate.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: No, I love Jews.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you know how many Jews there are in the world?
Guess.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: There's me, there's you.
I don't know.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: Take a guess. Like, in the world?
[00:24:08] Speaker B: In the whole world?
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Whole world.
[00:24:10] Speaker B: 20 million. No, that's a terrible guess.
Terrible guess.
400 million.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Your first guess was way closer.
[00:24:19] Speaker B: Really?
[00:24:19] Speaker A: It's like 16 million.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: No way.
[00:24:21] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, it's because we live in New York that we're like, oh, they're everywhere.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: All right, cut out my second guess.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: It's crazy, though, when you think about it. There's, like, a billion Muslims.
16 to 18 million Jews.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: You know, it's crazy. I know way more Jews than I know Muslims.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Oh, of course.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: Well, that's also, demographically, where we live.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: Look at where you live. I mean, I live in a very predominantly Jewish neighborhood, and where you're at is also probably pretty fucking I mean.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: I spend most of my time in New York. I live in Stamford now. I mean, I guess there's probably a lot of Jews in just, like that region. But the thing is, when I was living in Know, I knew a lot more Muslims there. So demographic, when you were in Iraq.
[00:25:01] Speaker A: Were you working for Sony in.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: For, like, I don't know any Muslim companies. Is that a thing?
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Al Qaeda. That's a Muslim company.
[00:25:12] Speaker B: Al Qaeda is a Muslim company.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: ISIS, they make great films.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: I applied to them.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: ISIS did they?
[00:25:17] Speaker B: Because they have some cool films, right? The one with the decapitations?
[00:25:19] Speaker A: That's right. They do have those those home videos. They're very good.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: I thought the production value was higher than home video. I have seen it was like, film.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Student ISIS videos are better than most short films.
I'm just saying, I've seen short films. I'm like, Jesus, kill me right now. And I've seen ISIS videos where I'm like, this is not bad.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Dude, I told you about this is not bad. I completely agree with you, because the ISIS video, you got a visceral reaction from. You some short films. You're like, just there because your friend made it. And it's like, this is my life's work. Yeah. And then you're watching it, and then there it goes.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Flies right by 100%.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: All 17 minutes of it.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And the thing about ISIS is they do method. They go full tilt. They're actually doing what's in there. There's no CGI.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: There could be now, if they need a good CGI artist, I actually have been dabbling.
Seriously, if they actually had, like, a moral compass and they're like, maybe we should not kill this one, they'd be like, Hi, CG.
And then that's why I'll apply, and you can get me, and I'll CG ahead, and we don't have to kill anyone, but we can still get the message across.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: That would be nice. Do you know anyone in ISIS? I can make a phone call.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: I'll give you my resume.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: This is the FBI is going to be like, all right, we got them.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: Oh, the FBI's been on my fucking tail. On my tail. Tell you. Okay, so for this new movie I'm working on, there's a lot of, like, soldier gear that I need.
[00:26:57] Speaker A: So you're like googling?
[00:26:58] Speaker B: No, not googling. Buying. Like I'm buying. Not real weapons, obviously, but, like, tactical gear. Yeah, it looks like I'm about to outfit like my own little ISIS.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: They're coming after you because I tried.
[00:27:11] Speaker B: To order something recently, or multiple things recently, and they said, we can no longer deliver this to your place. So now I deliver it to my parents house. I go pick it up.
[00:27:22] Speaker A: That's strange.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: Isn't that funny? It also could be just Connecticut laws because I live in Stanford, too, but I've never had problems ordering bulk of military equipment before. I don't know why I just said that, because I've never done that before.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, maybe you just got I don't know what the laws are.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: I don't know what the laws are.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: Get like, a BB gun delivered to certain states, either. Yeah, like New York. You can't get it delivered because it's I'm definitely illegal.
[00:27:47] Speaker B: If they didn't know I was a filmmaker, I would totally be on a don't know.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: You're a filmmaker.
[00:27:52] Speaker B: If they look on Instagram at Noah's Art creative.
If they look on Instagram, they'd see that I make a movie. I don't make films. I make movies, actually.
[00:28:04] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[00:28:05] Speaker B: I'm not a fucking artsy fartsy fuck.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Oh, really? You're a sellout. Like a blockbuster sellout.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: I can't wait to make blockbusters.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: Honestly. I honestly would love to do that, too. Fuck it. I'm done with the artist shit.
I went to a theater last night. My budy was in a show.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: Oh, theater is different. I love a nice play.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: A good play is great. Don't get me wrong. I love it. And I love a good, solid indie film. I like the artist shit.
[00:28:28] Speaker B: My balls.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Yeah. I got to fix my nut.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: There you go squished again.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: I went to go see this show, and I went to theater school. You know that I studied acting, but.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: You'Re a damn good actor.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you. I don't know about that, but I'm okay, but good.
I went to go see it, and I was like I used to feel very like, theater community. That was where I was at as I got older. Dude, I don't know if everyone lost their fucking mind or if I'm just an asshole. I can't be around it. Everyone is so fucking fragile.
Look, I support whatever you want to do with gender and all this shit. I don't care what you do personally, but excuse me.
You could see everybody, like, if you say or fart in the wrong direction, that it's already going to be like, oh, my god. And I'm like, I don't fit in here. I'm too vulgar and too out of my mind to be there. So I love theater. I would love to get back on stage, but at the same time, I don't feel like I belong.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: I completely agree where it's a generalization what we're doing, for sure, but pull out 50%. There is a fragility.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Is that the word? Fragility?
[00:29:49] Speaker B: Fragility to that theater community. And I want to make fucking jokes. I want to say fuck. I want to fart. I want to use the word retarded in the way that it's not supposed to be meant.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: You're not trying to offend anyone. Retarded has been used by I mean, everyone has said retarded at some point. Then one day, everyone like, oh, you can't say it anymore. And it's like, well, most of the retarded people that I know were mentally retarded or slow or special needs, whatever, they don't give a fuck.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: No, they don't.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: Who aren't retarded that care.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: And that's the whole thing about the people who care about woke culture the most, is like, the people who actually aren't part of the movement or whatever.
[00:30:30] Speaker A: They're not actually part of that.
Just they want to just give their two cent because they want to matter.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: They want to be justified. And all this garbage we both just did at the same time, we're like, do this, you fucking fuck.
[00:30:44] Speaker A: Speaking of that, california did a fucking they have transgender history month now. It's the first state.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: Is it good history? Is it rich?
[00:30:53] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know. But the thing is, I don't know what it's about. I don't know what month it is either.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: I've read recently I read a history book on Leonardo DA Vinci.
He wasn't trans. He might have been gay, actually. He might have been gay.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: I mean, everyone's a little gay then, right?
[00:31:09] Speaker B: I think everyone's a little gay now too. I don't think it changed gay now.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: It's different.
[00:31:14] Speaker B: You're gay.
We talk pretty gay to each other. We're not actually gay. We might be.
[00:31:19] Speaker A: Who knows? No, but that's part of being a stupid guy, though. Now there are people who are like.
[00:31:24] Speaker B: Yeah, you make gay jokes, it's fun.
[00:31:26] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's being a dumb ass. But there are people who are actually gay now who are like, I'm going to suck today, and then go, well.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: I believe that there's always been the same amount of homosexual population amongst it was just less accepted, obviously, in past generations where those numbers just wouldn't arise.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Okay, right? Okay.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: So I agree that everyone's been a little gay.
[00:31:54] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, I guess throughout history, you have, like, the Greeks, the Rome, everyone was fucking everyone at some point, and now we're doing it again.
It's true. I mean, everyone's kind of fucking everyone's. Everyone.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: You're like the modern Mayan calendar and now we're doing it again.
[00:32:07] Speaker A: We're back at it, baby. We're back at it. But the transgender history, I was like, look, that's great, fine.
I don't know much history about it.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: Well, what happens in a history month? Is there a Jewish History Month?
[00:32:23] Speaker A: No, there isn't. There's black History Month. And personally, I think when you single out a single month for something, I think it's more offensive because at the end of the day, it's like, you should acknowledge this every fucking month of the year.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: Right?
[00:32:34] Speaker A: It's important if it's historical. Now, I don't know what trans history is like, because everyone now you could say you're trans and not actually change anything.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: We should say this is everyone's year. Every year.
[00:32:47] Speaker A: Oh, that's also like saying, like, all lives matter. People hate that.
[00:32:51] Speaker B: Why is that bad?
Do people hate that?
[00:32:56] Speaker A: Yeah, people do hate that.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: What's wrong with that? Because after we made Dragony's Eagle, I stopped looking at the news because I had to pay attention to news for that.
[00:33:07] Speaker A: Dude, let me tell you something.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: The news what's been going on?
[00:33:10] Speaker A: What's been going on? It's the world's falling apart, dude. You got UN week happening. You got Joe Biden fucking falling asleep, talking about taxing 25% to fucking billionaires.
[00:33:19] Speaker B: I actually do a good biden.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Fine. What? You fall asleep? What the fuck is the impression for Biden?
[00:33:25] Speaker B: I have two words hairy legs.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: I don't know what that is.
[00:33:29] Speaker B: You don't know? He's like hairy legs. Kids see it in the water glistening.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: What the are you talking about?
[00:33:35] Speaker B: Get cup of Joe, get some tires on your car.
You don't know this?
[00:33:41] Speaker A: I have no idea what you're saying right now. Are you having a stroke?
[00:33:44] Speaker B: No, I didn't.
That's what they said about him. No, I'm about to.
No, I'm actually going to defend Biden right now, though. He had a brain surgery way back in the day, and everyone makes fun of I'm not a Biden fan. Right? But everyone makes fun of him for this whole speech impediment thing that he has. Yes, he's old, but he had this brain surgery.
Forgive me if I am completely butchering this story, but they said that after the brain surgery. The one thing that might happen is that he will develop speech impediments. And so everyone on Instagram who has been making fun has been probably uneducated.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: Bro, on that forgetting he's fucking like 80 years old. Yeah, forget brain surgery. If he's got a speech impediment, whether the surgery or not, leave the fucking dude alone.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: The guy is fucking he should be sitting on a goddamn dock somewhere fishing and enjoying his life.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: He shouldn't be president. He should be fishing and enjoying his life. He absolutely should. I kind of want him to tuck me in.
[00:34:50] Speaker A: I mean, he's a nice, like, look, I'm not a fan of his as a president, but he's an old fucking dude, and I'll look, make fun of him because it's kind of fun to.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: Make fun of anybody, dude, it's fun.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: And I'm a liberal, dude, I know you're a liberal, dude, we wanted him to work out, but he didn't fucking work out. He sucks.
[00:35:05] Speaker B: I'm right as they go.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Yeah, you're not.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: I swear to God.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: I mean, I'm a normal liberal. I'm not a liberal. Like now liberals now. I don't know what's happening.
[00:35:19] Speaker B: I'm right down the middle.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. Moderate. That's where I'm at. I apologize. I would say with the way the climate of the world is now, I'm split in the middle. Abortion, I'm liberal. Crime, I'm more conservative.
[00:35:30] Speaker B: I'm a moderate moderate.
[00:35:32] Speaker A: What does that mean?
[00:35:34] Speaker B: I could be a moderate.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. Look, I don't care.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: I hate Trump, but I'm fucking on the right.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: Okay, whatever you want, dude. I don't give a fuck.
[00:35:45] Speaker B: I'm making a stand.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: Good for you. There's nothing wrong with that.
[00:35:48] Speaker B: That feels good, man. It feels good. No, I actually don't care that much, to be honest. It's like everybody makes such a big deal about politics. I don't know a single that's not true. I do know a little bit about politics.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: You do?
[00:36:05] Speaker B: You say a little bit.
What's going to happen is that there will be no grand change unless it changes on the city and town and county legislations. Those are the people who make rules that directly affect your actual day to day lives. Whoever's getting fucking presidency, they're just the ones making speeches. Don't get me started with the deep state and the gold aliens.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: Yeah, well, those are the most important.
[00:36:35] Speaker B: Those are the most important.
Either meet your make.
[00:36:38] Speaker A: I agree with that.
You know what I think? Here's what I think. I'll give you my idea. Fuck it, bro, we're fucked. We're fucked. It's over.
[00:36:47] Speaker B: It's a lot of profanity.
[00:36:49] Speaker A: It's over, bro.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: It's over.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: Enjoy your life. Enjoy your life. That's all that fucking matters. I'm very much like, look, I want other people that I want to fight for the right for other people. Everyone should have equal rights.
[00:37:01] Speaker B: Oh, everyone gets rights. Everyone gets rights.
[00:37:03] Speaker A: But you have to also worry about you and the people you love. If it affects you directly, then that's my concern a lot of the time. I don't want to get political here because this is already getting fucking annoying. But fuck it, bro. Just fuck it. Everyone's fighting with everyone. They're like, oh, fuck you. Fuck this.
[00:37:19] Speaker B: Fuck it.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: Stop fucking fighting. Fighting and just bro, enjoy your life. Enjoy your life. Life is short. You know what I want to do? I want to make a couple more bucks. I mean, I'd like to make a lot of money. And I want to go sit.
[00:37:33] Speaker B: Where do you want to go?
[00:37:34] Speaker A: I don't know, man. I fucking love Miami. Everyone hates on Florida. Fuck you people for hating on Florida.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: I like Brooklyn.
[00:37:40] Speaker A: Fuck Brooklyn. I'm getting the fuck out of Brooklyn. If I had money, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'll come back to, you know, time to time, go to a fucking island somewhere. I'll go to Miami. I'll go to Italy, whatever, and just fucking enjoy my life with a beautiful woman. Have a couple drinks, go to a good dinner. Fuck, put a foot in my mouth. That's what I want. Just a nice, simple fucking life. Wake up in the morning, have another foot in my mouth, get back to it again. By the way, let me ask you something. I was called recently I'm scared of.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: What you're going to ask.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: Been exploring.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: I was called that's never good.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: Slave boy. Recently by a woman.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: Slave boy?
[00:38:20] Speaker A: Yeah. I was on my hands and knees. I wasn't tied up or anything.
I was referred to as like I was going to do something to this person. And they said they referred to were you filming something? No, this is for pleasure.
I was referred to as slave boy. And I kind of was like, it's kind of hot.
[00:38:44] Speaker B: Who called you that?
[00:38:45] Speaker A: It was a friend.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: Okay.
I was trying to get the whole.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: Production in my there was no leather or anything like that. There was no weird like I was tied up or nothing. But it was like, slave boy.
[00:38:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: And I was like, yes.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: I like that. It's like squire.
[00:39:03] Speaker A: Yeah. And I was like, well, get to work, slave boy. And I was like, right away.
It wasn't roleplay either. It was just I was referred to as slave boy.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Does it come with a question?
[00:39:17] Speaker A: Yeah. How would you feel about that?
Actually, no, there's no question. I just fucking loved it. I fucking loved it because it's like.
[00:39:25] Speaker B: Would you like that?
[00:39:27] Speaker A: Yeah. How would you feel about that?
[00:39:28] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: Yeah, it's kind of nice.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: 100%. Because it gives you direction.
[00:39:36] Speaker A: Okay. You like direction?
[00:39:38] Speaker B: I like direction. If it's like, okay, mass. Now that sounds racist.
[00:39:42] Speaker A: Yeah, a little bit.
[00:39:43] Speaker B: That sounds racist. But sire like, yes, sire. And I'm in charge and all that. And if it was opposite, like squire. So if I was squire or sire, I could fit either role.
[00:39:57] Speaker A: Yes. So that's I think a healthy sexual relationship where you can figure out the power dynamics, where you're like, I can take charge here, and I can be in charge, or I can be submissive here. And figuring out the levels is very nice.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: If I had a long day, I would much rather be submissive.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: Just do what you must be submissive. Oh, but then you have to do what you're told.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Well, they're not going to make me write a book.
[00:40:26] Speaker A: They're going to make me eat some pussy.
[00:40:28] Speaker B: Yeah, true.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: Which is not exactly a punishment. It's fucking great.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: It's not like, going to work.
They do whatever they want. I just make it easy for me.
[00:40:37] Speaker A: It's never easy to make a woman come, though.
[00:40:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: Never easy. It's always a challenge.
[00:40:44] Speaker B: But it's a good challenge.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: It's the best challenge. That's a challenge that I'm like, I'm up for.
[00:40:49] Speaker B: Yeah, it's fun. It's good. It's fun. It's good. And by the way, it's very acceptable if nobody comes either, which is always good. I'm making it sound like I never make someone come. I'm just trying to make them dude.
[00:41:01] Speaker A: That'S not acceptable at all. It's more acceptable if you never come.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Wait, what?
[00:41:08] Speaker A: Yeah, believe it or not, maybe I'm just a giver. No, I'm a giver, too, at all.
If she comes, then I'm good.
[00:41:16] Speaker B: Oh, I agree.
[00:41:17] Speaker A: I'll jerk off or something, but 100%.
[00:41:19] Speaker B: I agree with that 100%. When it's vice versa, it would be like, oh, I want you to come, as in me. It's like, I want you to come. I was like, no, I want you to come. So it's like, that's good to have two givers, because those are the best problems you can get.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, it's better to argue about that. It's okay. It's better to argue about that than figuring out what you need to order in, because that's usually a fucking nightmare.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: No, dude, just order it once. You order it by accident, accident, and it's coming. Nothing you could do.
[00:41:47] Speaker A: That is true.
[00:41:48] Speaker B: I already ordered it.
[00:41:49] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: That's all you have to say.
[00:41:50] Speaker A: But now, wait, I'm thinking I'm going back to coming, but a woman can make a guy come, no problem.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: That's not true. I've had issues before.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: I mean, I've had issues, too, of not getting it up, and that's a big problem.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: That's the one where you can't come if you can't get it up.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's different, though. Then all your options are off the table, and then you're like, all right, well, I guess we only have one option here. You need to come, and I'll figure this shit out later.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Most of those times have been after a night out, you know what I mean?
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Might have happened on a random fucking Tuesday afternoon where I was fine and healthy. I don't know. Sometimes I get a little yeah, and.
[00:42:25] Speaker B: Also, if you meet like, a new girl too, and you do like her. You're digging her, right? And you don't want to fuck it up in any ways. So you do put at least I do some subconscious pressure or just conscious pressure on myself to be like, oh, don't fuck this up. And just by saying that out loud, you overthink it, of course.
[00:42:46] Speaker A: And then the time where it stops happening is usually when you really are into the person, you're very into them. And if you're having trouble, if you ask me, not that I'm the fucking sex expert, but this guy if you're vocalized like, hey, I'm a little nervous, or hey, I'm not really sure what's happening, and you just talk about it and you kind of are okay with.
[00:43:08] Speaker B: It, I would never say I'm a little nervous.
[00:43:10] Speaker A: Never.
[00:43:12] Speaker B: That would fuck it up for me.
[00:43:14] Speaker A: Really?
[00:43:15] Speaker B: That's like, what's wrong with that?
[00:43:17] Speaker A: That's flattering. A lot of women that I've been with have said I've been like, oh, I'm a little nervous right now.
[00:43:21] Speaker B: I'm not saying I wouldn't say it is that.
I also haven't been in a situation where I would need to say that just yet. But actually, no, I completely agree with you. If you're seeing somebody for a little bit, for a little bit, it can't be the first night.
[00:43:36] Speaker A: It can be, I've done it.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Really?
[00:43:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Has it gone well?
[00:43:39] Speaker A: Yeah, they're like they're very flattered by that. You're like, wow, okay. This guy actually wants to do good.
[00:43:46] Speaker B: I completely changed my mind. I'm on your side. Yeah, I just thought about it a little bit more. You're right. I think it is flattering. I think if you get a total.
[00:43:53] Speaker A: Bitch who's like, oh, you fucking loser, then I'd be like, yo, I'm not getting hard because you're fucking gross, you whore, and then leave. Yeah, I wouldn't say it like that, but I'd be like, yo, fuck you. Get the fuck out of my face. We're not fucking I'm out.
[00:44:07] Speaker B: That's just as bad.
[00:44:09] Speaker A: Which is, I mean, just humiliating to her, which I'm not trying to humiliate anybody, but sometimes you take doesn't work, it happens. And anyone who's going to shame you for that, it's like, I'd rather not be here right now.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: It is a strange organ.
[00:44:21] Speaker A: It's weird, bro. It's weird. It's like if it doesn't work, then.
[00:44:26] Speaker B: There'S not much you can do. If it doesn't, nothing.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: I mean, you could sit around, play Scrabble and hope sometimes weird things make it happen.
[00:44:36] Speaker B: Scrabble makes me hard.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, usually me too.
[00:44:39] Speaker B: I haven't played Scrabble in a while.
[00:44:41] Speaker A: I think I played Scrabble once in my whole life.
[00:44:44] Speaker B: I don't think I've ever fucking played.
[00:44:45] Speaker A: I'm more of a sudoku guy.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: I like banana grams.
[00:44:48] Speaker A: The fuck is banana grams?
[00:44:49] Speaker B: Play with all the little tiles. People will know it.
[00:44:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: The five people who watch.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: The five people less than that dude, there's like four and a half people, and most of them are women, believe it or not.
[00:45:00] Speaker B: Really?
[00:45:00] Speaker A: I swear to God. Mostly women watches kind of crazy.
[00:45:04] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:45:06] Speaker A: Now they won't. Now they won't.
[00:45:08] Speaker B: I hate to break it to you, man. Cut it.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: I'm not cutting that. There's no fucking way.
[00:45:12] Speaker B: Yeah, keep it.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: But we're going to cut this actually in a second. But there was one other thing. I read the US Senate.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: Now I can go all night, bro.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: I know we can, but there's no way that we've already, I think, surpassed an hour.
[00:45:22] Speaker B: No way.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: Do you know what time we started?
[00:45:27] Speaker B: I don't fucking know.
[00:45:29] Speaker A: We're almost at an hour. I think we had some technical difficulties. Apologize about that. But you had asked me about Kanye West. If I'm a fan of Kanye West.
[00:45:38] Speaker B: I got another beer. During the technical difficulty, you fixed the cameras?
[00:45:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And you got a beer.
[00:45:44] Speaker B: I got a no, it was good. So I asked you good for you.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: You asked me about Kanye Weston, if I'm a fan. Yes, I'm a fan. I love Kanye West. His music is fucking great. What he said about the Jews was terrible, but a lot of people are like, fuck him, he should burn in hell. The guy's unstable and he needs to get help.
But I'm not going to not listen to Kanye West. It's just fucking not going to happen. If Jesus walks comes on, I'm walking with Jesus, you know what I mean?
[00:46:13] Speaker B: I think he's right. About what, Kanye?
[00:46:17] Speaker A: About the Jews. I think he's dead know they're no good.
[00:46:20] Speaker B: But no, the truth of the matter.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: Is that what he said was fucking wrong.
He's a fucking nut, bro. He's a nut. But you can't take away the fact that he made good music. Okay? The way I put it is that if you have a painter, right, who happened, you found out after well, renowned painter that he was child molester, right?
Do you destroy the paintings after? No, they're fucking good priests. The Catholic Church has been fucking kids for years.
[00:46:52] Speaker B: For years.
[00:46:53] Speaker A: For years.
[00:46:54] Speaker B: Generations.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: And people still love priests and Catholicism and the Vatican. So don't give me this shit, all right? People do way worse shit and they still support I'm not saying what he said was right. I don't support that. I'm a fucking Jew to my core. But don't act like you're not going to fucking listen to his music.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: They just did a study about the amount of children that have been raped by priests, and 15 the whole thing was over.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Right?
[00:47:20] Speaker B: Over.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: The 200 deaf kids that were raped by priests, they fucked that one up.
[00:47:26] Speaker B: They didn't know they're deaf.
[00:47:27] Speaker A: That's true.
They're not retarded.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: I'm sorry.
[00:47:32] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: God's going to come down different in God.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: Don't worry, you're not in trouble.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: Okay, ready? Okay. So Kanye, right? He's like my idol.
I've always loved everything. Kanye, you asked me who my favorite filmmaker was I said Kanye West. Right.
So but what he did say did kind of as a Jew did, irk me just a tad.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: It's gross. Of course.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah. I still love his music. I still love all that know, and I still am looking forward to whatever he's going to come out with next. The thing is, he'd be back in my perfect graces.
He's at good graces now. He'd be back at perfect. If his next album is called Abraham, that'd be good.
[00:48:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:18] Speaker B: Right?
[00:48:19] Speaker A: Yeah. As long as the music's good.
[00:48:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Like Jesus is king. That wasn't exactly my favorite fucking album, but if Moses was king, then I'd love it.
[00:48:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:29] Speaker A: No, I can't exactly say I don't care what the fuck he calls the album.
[00:48:34] Speaker B: If the music's good, I'm listening to I mean, absolutely. I liked his last album. I like donda a lot. I mean, I love Kanye West. I do. And I hope he was just getting head in Italy.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: I saw that on a boat. I was in Italy at the same time.
[00:48:48] Speaker B: Really? Yeah.
[00:48:49] Speaker A: He was in Venice. I was in Florence, I think.
[00:48:51] Speaker B: You were on that boat?
[00:48:52] Speaker A: I was blowing Kanye, I think so. Sorry, guys, but yeah, I saw that picture. It's fucking gross. Ass, dude, his ass is disgusting.
I don't know. I was like, EW. Not that my ass looks good, but.
[00:49:05] Speaker B: Dude, if someone took a picture of me, first of all, getting head.
[00:49:09] Speaker A: That's true. That's true.
[00:49:10] Speaker B: Enough with the nonsense. We had a dude getting head on a fucking boat on a river in Italy. This man is living. If anyone was what the picture of? If aliens came down? The gold aliens. They saw that picture. The picture should be stated, talented man gets beautiful head in gorgeous place.
But everyone here takes it to a whole extreme.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: I think every guy looked at that photo and was like, Lucky guy, lucky guy. Yeah, maybe women are like, ill. That's gross. But then again, I had that much money in that kind of music, I'm sure I could find a woman to blow me in Venice, for sure. You know what I mean? Then again, if you take a woman to Venice and you don't even have a lot of money, but you take her there, I'm sure you can get blowjobs in Venice. Yeah.
[00:49:59] Speaker B: Just put together like, a little raft. Yeah, because he had a nice boat, I think.
[00:50:04] Speaker A: No, those are like those really beautiful Italian boats.
I just got back from Italy.
[00:50:08] Speaker B: You're Italian, right?
[00:50:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Italian jew. You too.
[00:50:12] Speaker B: Italian Jew.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: I didn't know that.
[00:50:13] Speaker B: Sicily.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: Oh, you're really down there. You're with the real I'm in the Brooklyn grease balls of grease balls.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: I'm in the Brooklyn of Italy.
[00:50:22] Speaker A: I'm in Calabria. So that's like, I guess a step up, maybe. That's Calabria.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So shithole, no, that's like the Bronx.
[00:50:30] Speaker A: Yeah, that's probably worse.
That is worse. But yeah, man, I was out there, and it was fucking dude, I would live in Rome if I could.
[00:50:41] Speaker B: Really?
[00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:42] Speaker B: Rome is cool. It's very busy, though.
[00:50:45] Speaker A: I love that. I mean, it's touristy shit, but I.
[00:50:47] Speaker B: Get my wires get crossed.
[00:50:49] Speaker A: Yeah, but you're in New York, bro.
[00:50:51] Speaker B: I live in Stanford to get away from New York because my wires get crossed.
[00:50:55] Speaker A: What do you mean, bro, the wires getting crossed is the best part.
[00:50:58] Speaker B: No, I can't can't look at me glitching. It's like fucking glitching out. I glitch out. I also get frustrated. I never get angry. I'm a very peaceful Zen human being until I come to New York and I get fucking mad.
[00:51:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I get mad all the time. I realized I was more Zen and chill in Italy no, in La. Than I was here. The traffic makes me crazier here. Things make me a little crazier, but it also keeps my edge. You know what I mean? I was missing my edge in La. I felt like I was like, you're an edgy dude. I'm very fucking edgy. I'm very cool. But there's certain things that just fucking get me, like, fucking you ever been a fight?
I have when I was younger. Yeah.
[00:51:41] Speaker B: I've never been in a fight, like, ever. I've been punched in the face multiple times, but never I've been punched in the face.
[00:51:47] Speaker A: Yeah, but you've never been in a fight.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: I usually just smile. I'm fucking nuts.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: No, that's not what you do. You got to take jujitsu or something, man. You got to take a fucking dude.
[00:51:57] Speaker B: I've been taking Aikido Akito.
[00:52:01] Speaker A: The shit that fucking Steven Seagal does. Is that his name, steven Seagal?
[00:52:05] Speaker B: Who's Steven Seagal?
[00:52:06] Speaker A: Seagal. What the fuck is his name? The actor?
[00:52:09] Speaker B: The actor?
[00:52:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: Oh, shit. Yes.
[00:52:15] Speaker A: That doesn't really do anything. That's not real.
[00:52:17] Speaker B: It does nothing. Yeah, but it's super fun. Okay, but no, the guys that teach it because I go because it's the least amount of work I have to do.
[00:52:25] Speaker A: That's fucking bullshit.
[00:52:27] Speaker B: My dad does it, and I go with him sometimes.
[00:52:30] Speaker A: No, you can't take a keto is like, for fucking you may as well be just it's imaginary, dude.
[00:52:37] Speaker B: It's not real, dude, I kid you.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: Take by the pressure points and shit.
[00:52:41] Speaker B: Dude, it's the whooshi finger hole. You know the wushy finger hole?
[00:52:45] Speaker A: I don't know it because I don't need to fucking I don't want to know it's.
[00:52:48] Speaker B: Kung Fu Panda. You never seen Kung Fu fucking Panda?
[00:52:50] Speaker A: I've never seen Kung Fu Panda.
[00:52:51] Speaker B: You know the wushy?
[00:52:52] Speaker A: I don't remember what the name of that is. I just remember he put his finger.
[00:52:56] Speaker B: Down in the fucking atomic Oppenheimer.
[00:52:59] Speaker A: Yeah, because that's real.
[00:53:00] Speaker B: You like oppenheimer.
[00:53:01] Speaker A: I didn't watch it yet. But you need to take fucking Jujitsu.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: We'll come back to that jujitsu. No.
[00:53:06] Speaker A: Why? That's exactly what you should be learning. It's real. That's perfect for fight.
You haven't done it. It's fucking you. Get hurt, but it's great.
[00:53:15] Speaker B: Oh, you told me about Jiu jitsu. You say you like that stuff, right?
[00:53:17] Speaker A: You like a little haven't done it in a minute.
[00:53:18] Speaker B: You wear your little gimlet. Your little onesie?
[00:53:20] Speaker A: Gimlet? No, it's a fucking you wear your little shit. Oh, my God.
It's not a onesie. You wear a jacket and pants.
[00:53:28] Speaker B: You see your cock and balls from the side.
[00:53:30] Speaker A: No, my cock and balls are very much tucked away.
[00:53:33] Speaker B: It's tight.
[00:53:34] Speaker A: No, it's just oh, it's a gee. It's a gee. It's fucking pants and a kimono.
Yeah. Kimono?
[00:53:41] Speaker B: Like a fucking what's a kimono?
[00:53:43] Speaker A: You don't know what a kimono is? It's like Japanese.
There's no buttons or anything.
[00:53:49] Speaker B: It's just okay, come on. I'm just agreeing. But no, Aikido is fun. And I'll tell you a funny story, okay? No, I'll tell you a funny story. So there are all these Akido masters, but they're also masters at, like, samurai swords and karate and kung fu. They're like they're these real I'm telling you, they're real. They beat your fucking ass.
[00:54:08] Speaker A: No, they wouldn't. They would not.
[00:54:10] Speaker B: These guys are 60 years old, have been studying it since they've been fucking.
[00:54:13] Speaker A: They'Ve wasted 60 years of their fucking life. Dude, Akido is bullshit.
[00:54:17] Speaker B: They just got into it at 60 because they've mastered all the other stuff.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: What's the other stuff?
[00:54:24] Speaker B: The shit that you do. The fucking juditsu.
[00:54:26] Speaker A: So then maybe you should start at jujitsu and then do a keto when.
[00:54:28] Speaker B: You'Re the dumb jujitsu.
[00:54:30] Speaker A: Dumb jujitsu. Okay, dude, you are going to waste your fucking time there with a keto.
[00:54:35] Speaker B: I go because it's fun, okay?
[00:54:38] Speaker A: All right. If you're just going for fun and not to learn anything, it's fine.
[00:54:40] Speaker B: It's like the Transformers movies. I fucking love the Transformers movies. I'm not going to sit and watch a Coen brother film.
[00:54:47] Speaker A: The difference is that you're not going to need Transformers when someone tries to fuck you up.
[00:54:52] Speaker B: Dude, whatever.
[00:54:55] Speaker A: You're good.
[00:54:57] Speaker B: All right?
[00:54:57] Speaker A: Whatever. Fuck it, dude. I tried.
[00:54:58] Speaker B: Oh, man. The mic definitely just fucking peaked right there.
[00:55:02] Speaker A: I get it. I get it.
[00:55:03] Speaker B: Dude, I'm laughing. No, but ready? So we're having a beer after Aikido. Maybe that's why I go.
[00:55:10] Speaker A: There's a bunch of dudes who get beers after, okay. Which is nothing.
[00:55:13] Speaker B: No, we bring beers to Aikido.
[00:55:17] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Hey. And basically we're sitting under this tree, right? And this big fucking spider comes down like this big it's in the middle of the night and it's like this big, and it comes right down on the tree. I'm not good with spiders. I freak out. I run away.
All these guys, these masters, are, like, looking at the spider and trying to touch it and feel it. These guys are manly men. They are men. Even though they do Aikido, they're manly, manly men, right? And I'm over 50ft away, and I'm rolling around the grass, like, pretty much about to take all my clothes off and my dad is there too. And I tell my dad, I was like, listen, if that spider was on me, I'd be fully naked running around in front of these martial arts masters.
What don't you get?
[00:56:02] Speaker A: How does it make you manly for wanting to touch a spider? I don't like spiders. And I'm not saying, let's go get one. A spider.
[00:56:08] Speaker B: Let's go get we'll have you have it. A big spider. Let's have it.
[00:56:11] Speaker A: But let me ask me, if you're fucking doing a keto, shouldn't you take one of the spider legs and be able to fucking start an atomic bomb?
[00:56:18] Speaker B: That's the whooshi finger hold that's high level. No, but no. They wanted to preserve the spider.
It was life. And that's the thing. If I ever got into a fight, I would just want to preserve I'd maybe even jerk them off both hands, depending spider.
The large man man who's going to.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: Fight you, you just jerk him off like, hey, budy, I don't want to do this. You don't want this? I'm going to fucking make you come. Yeah, that's the way to win a fight is to make the other person come like, wow, that's gay, bro. You're fucking gay.
[00:56:51] Speaker B: Because the thing is that what he doesn't know is because he's so fueled up with rage is that once I make him come bow, bow, bow, like that, he's tired and kind of forgot about yeah. Why he was upset.
That's the way it would go down.
[00:57:08] Speaker A: Do you get post after you come? You get like depressed?
[00:57:12] Speaker B: Depressed? Yeah, I get anxious.
[00:57:14] Speaker A: Really? I'm like, fuck, what are you thinking about?
[00:57:17] Speaker B: Because I was like, why did I just waste 30 minutes when I could be making a film?
[00:57:22] Speaker A: Waste 30 minutes?
[00:57:24] Speaker B: I'm joking.
[00:57:25] Speaker A: Are you fucking crazy, dude? No, I don't think that. I just think, like, no, I could.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: Have sex in the morning morning and not do anything for the rest of my day and have a successful day.
[00:57:32] Speaker A: I mean, that's already a successful day. That warrants a successful day. You fuck in the morning, the rest of the day doesn't matter. Your whole family could be killed and it's still a good day. I think that's just me.
[00:57:43] Speaker B: Yeah. No, honestly, though, that's a fact.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: I like that. Yeah, you come.
[00:57:48] Speaker B: Who said that? That was Poe. Edgar Allen?
[00:57:52] Speaker A: No, Harry Truman.
[00:57:53] Speaker B: Truman.
[00:57:54] Speaker A: Yeah, it was Truman.
[00:57:55] Speaker B: He is the son of a gun.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: He is.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: He's an oppenheimer.
[00:57:59] Speaker A: I mean, of course he's the one who ordered the bombs to be dropped. But before we talk about those bombs coming, but I've had that where post come. Depression. Is that what it's called? What the fuck is it called? I forgot the fucking name of it. But you have that moment where you're like I mean, I have it when I'm jerking off. When I jerk off, it's like I fucking come. And I'm like, ugh, you fucking pig. Like, you fucking pig.
[00:58:26] Speaker B: Yo. You know what's funny is that, okay, so I'm jerking off, right, and say, like, I got my little telephone, right?
[00:58:31] Speaker A: Your little telephone? Yeah, your iPhone. Yeah.
[00:58:34] Speaker B: This is what a lot of porn goes on this one.
[00:58:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Like when you type in A in safari, you go straight to anal sluts, right?
[00:58:39] Speaker B: Well, no, I go to pornhub, and pornhub does that for me. Make sure it keeps my cash ready. Okay, you're done? You're finished masturbating. And then I look at the porn that I'm watching and I have this gauge in my head that's like, this is actually classy, or this is fucked up classy.
[00:59:02] Speaker A: The porn is classy or what you're doing.
[00:59:03] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I'll look at with completely the least amount of horny I could be is right after I come. Right?
[00:59:13] Speaker A: Yeah. And most people are.
[00:59:14] Speaker B: And that's when I look at a piece of porn from the most objective standpoint. Right.
[00:59:20] Speaker A: Because is this fucking disgusting or is this actually decent? There's something artistic here.
[00:59:26] Speaker B: I can see the object. Sometimes I come just to see the objectivity in the porn itself, and so I'll come and see it, and sometimes I'm like, this is fucking bad.
[00:59:40] Speaker A: Or I think 90% of the time, it's that there's never a time where I watched porn and went, this is artistic.
[00:59:46] Speaker B: 60 40. 60 is classy. For me, 40 is real nasty. 5% is like when it just comes, like, once in a blue moon where.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: You need to go seek actual help.
[01:00:00] Speaker B: The help is that is the video.
[01:00:03] Speaker A: Really?
[01:00:05] Speaker B: But after I'm done with it, I don't need to go back to it for, like, another eight months.
[01:00:09] Speaker A: Wow. I mean, congrats. Eight or nine to watch another Snuff video for eight months? That's a record.
[01:00:14] Speaker B: Which one's Snuff?
[01:00:15] Speaker A: Snuff is when the girl gets murdered at the end. I hope no one's watching that.
[01:00:19] Speaker B: Is that real?
[01:00:20] Speaker A: There was a Nicolas Cage movie about it with Joaquin Phoenix.
[01:00:23] Speaker B: Yeah, those are top business.
[01:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a good movie.
But all kidding aside, though yeah, I mean, dude, I haven't jerked off. I haven't been jerking off at all lately. It's kind of very OD.
I'm not really having any interest in it. I don't know why. Maybe I'm a little older, whatever. But the times that I have, every time I have jerked off you're not that old. No, I'm not. I'm fucking you should be. I know, but I'm tired, bro. I'm tired. I want to work. I want to try and be successful.
I don't know. I'm just not doing it as often, but when I do, every time I come and I'm just like and I'm not pretty when I jerk off. I actually was talking to a girl recently, and I made a joke of like, you don't want to see that. You don't want to see what I look like when I'm masturbating, right? And I'm like she's like, well, what does it look like. And I'm just like, feel like I'm hunched over and I look like some sort of fucking just you remember that guy from 300?
Yeah, that deformed looking motherfucker. That's what I look like when I'm jerking off.
[01:01:28] Speaker B: It's that I don't know what his name is, but I call him know.
[01:01:32] Speaker A: What he looks like?
[01:01:32] Speaker B: I call him Ichabod.
[01:01:33] Speaker A: In my head, ichabod is the perfect name. That's what I look like, an ichabod. And I've never looked at myself after I come.
[01:01:40] Speaker B: I feel like I look speaking of three, I feel like I look like Leonidis when I'm jerking it.
[01:01:45] Speaker A: Wow, you're really delusional. OD, that's worse than what I think. Holy shit.
[01:01:52] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[01:01:53] Speaker A: But there's never a good feeling after you jerk off. You're like it's always like, oh, my God. Again, you look at yourself in the mirror and you go, you fucking animal.
[01:02:04] Speaker B: I don't know. Do you think maybe that's why you're not jerking off as much? Because you have that feeling after?
[01:02:09] Speaker A: I guess maybe that could be it. I'm just thinking to myself, like, shouldn't I be doing something more?
[01:02:18] Speaker B: Like I said, I'm 13. Right?
[01:02:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:02:21] Speaker B: And so when I jerk, I'm just getting into it.
[01:02:23] Speaker A: That may have been when the camera cut. Some people may have no idea what.
[01:02:26] Speaker B: You'Re actually talking no, I know. I'm using context clues.
[01:02:30] Speaker A: Got it. Okay, good.
[01:02:31] Speaker B: So I'm 13, right? So I'm just getting into jerking off now.
[01:02:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:02:35] Speaker B: And I could go up to like, seven, eight times a day.
[01:02:40] Speaker A: Really? You joking right now? Are you serious?
[01:02:42] Speaker B: If I needed to, I could. I would be in need to?
[01:02:45] Speaker A: Why would you need to?
[01:02:47] Speaker B: Why would I need to seven, eight times? I always have these thoughts in my head where it's like if I'm sitting next to someone and God came down and was like, the world's going to end right now if you don't jerk off eight times. I'll have to do it.
[01:02:59] Speaker A: But I'll ask him to waste a hypothetical like that. I guess I would too.
[01:03:02] Speaker B: I'll ask him to give me the whole day.
[01:03:04] Speaker A: Well, you'd have to have free day. How would you feel spending the day jerking off and going, I don't know if I'm going to live tomorrow? Because, I mean, realistically, you don't know if you're going to live. And I've been in times in my early 20s where I spent a day masturbating and I went, oh, my God, just wasted my time.
[01:03:22] Speaker B: I don't think you understand what God was saying, that if I jerk off eight times, we will have it tomorrow.
[01:03:29] Speaker A: Oh, so there's a certainty in that?
[01:03:31] Speaker B: He told me.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: Okay. Jesus. All right. I got it.
[01:03:35] Speaker B: No, I'm saying this is in my imagination.
[01:03:38] Speaker A: Yeah. So that can get you through. I wrote a film on it on masturbating.
[01:03:43] Speaker B: It's called the Eight Wonders of the World. And I don't know, it's a bad fucking joke.
It almost paid off. Almost if I had a different delivery or audience, I guess.
[01:03:59] Speaker A: No, the audience listening here wants to hear about this. I'm telling you, there's women I know that listen and watch this who are like they genuinely enjoy hearing about this. And I don't get it. I don't get it. Maybe it's like, inside the mind of a sick fuck, or it's who friends that are women who are like, there's.
[01:04:17] Speaker B: No sick fucks here.
[01:04:18] Speaker A: No.
[01:04:19] Speaker B: So I know the fuck they're watching.
[01:04:20] Speaker A: I mean, maybe not you. I know I'm a little twisted.
[01:04:23] Speaker B: Yeah, you know you are.
[01:04:24] Speaker A: I'm a little twisted, and that's fine. And that's what are you going to do? Some women like me, which is I don't know what's wrong with them.
[01:04:31] Speaker B: Which ones?
[01:04:33] Speaker A: They have an IQ of a normal person.
[01:04:36] Speaker B: 60, about. I don't know what the normal IQ is.
[01:04:39] Speaker A: I think it's like 120 or something.
[01:04:41] Speaker B: 120 is normal.
[01:04:42] Speaker A: 110, maybe. I don't know. 90 to 120 I think is pretty normal.
[01:04:45] Speaker B: Everything you just said is higher than mine.
[01:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah, but no. Normal, hot, sexy women, for some reason, at least they're hot to me, think that they like me, and I'm like, Why?
[01:04:57] Speaker B: I don't get it, dude. They like, ichabod.
[01:05:01] Speaker A: They like.
[01:05:05] Speaker B: Is that the position you go in?
[01:05:06] Speaker A: It depends. The thing is, I like my feet planted when I'm masturbating, so I won't do it laying down. I like to feel the earth under I'm like Rick Rubin with masturbating. I like to feel the earth under my feet. So I need that I don't lay down and masturbate. I won't lay on this couch and masturbate. I will be either in this position position, or I will literally be hunched over a sink.
[01:05:27] Speaker B: You want to know something crazy? I can go standing. I could go and I'm going to get into that. I'll get into it. I can go standing. I can go sitting. I can go laying down. I can go any position. Sometimes I'm in the shower, hits me. Boom. Got to do it right there. Pull out the conditioner.
[01:05:41] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
Is it tresma?
Of course it is. Of course it is. I mean, it's a very good one.
[01:05:50] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah, it is Tresme.
That's what's so fucking funny about it.
[01:05:58] Speaker A: My conditioners. I love my hair. I take good care of my hair. Take care. Brush your hair.
[01:06:04] Speaker B: Why'd you say tresma?
[01:06:05] Speaker A: Because I wash my hair with tresma sometimes.
[01:06:08] Speaker B: That's all you do.
[01:06:09] Speaker A: I don't jerk off with tresma.
[01:06:12] Speaker B: All right.
[01:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I've never thought about using the conditioner, but now I may.
[01:06:16] Speaker B: It's like what Jesus said, to each his own. Is that what he said one time?
[01:06:20] Speaker A: I think he said masturbate with tresma is what he said.
[01:06:23] Speaker B: He also said that once, as well.
[01:06:25] Speaker A: Yeah, right. That was right before they were pinning him to the cross and, like, masturbate with.
[01:06:30] Speaker B: I mean, that was so long ago.
[01:06:33] Speaker A: It was a while ago.
[01:06:34] Speaker B: That was so long ago. But it's great that it's still in the circle. But no. So, yeah, I could also sit ichabod style or laying down.
[01:06:44] Speaker A: Has a girl ever asked you, like, hey, I want to watch you jerk off?
[01:06:49] Speaker B: Not like that, but if I can't come during sex, sometimes I'll mole over the sign and be like, I'll finish.
[01:06:57] Speaker A: That's different. No, I'm talking about, like, has a girl ever asked you, like, I had said to you, I want to watch you jerk off?
[01:07:02] Speaker B: Has one to you? No, I've never had those words spoken to me.
[01:07:06] Speaker A: Someone has said that to me. Was it me watch you jerk it off?
[01:07:09] Speaker B: Was it me before my transition?
[01:07:12] Speaker A: Yes, it was. No, it was. Somebody had said that to me, and I was like, you don't want to see it? You don't want to see that?
[01:07:23] Speaker B: After how you've described it, I might want to.
[01:07:26] Speaker A: I mean, you may want to watch if it was like a fucking exhibit at the Bronx Zoo. That's what I was going to see. The Baboons.
[01:07:33] Speaker B: Well, you know me. I'm interested in the science of it, I guess.
[01:07:37] Speaker A: But also, the thing is also, here's the thing. When fucking right?
I'm sure I don't look that great either. I make weird noises. I'm sure that that's not something anyone wants to see. But when we're both fucking, you're talking, making weird faces.
[01:07:51] Speaker B: Yappity yap.
[01:07:52] Speaker A: No, I mean, not yappity yap, but if someone's speaking a little bit to me, I'll speak a little bit to them, and it's like a very subtle talking here and there, but it won't be like this. You fucking like that, baby? Yeah, let's fucking you want that dick? No, it's more like if she's.
[01:08:12] Speaker B: That'S me right there, what you just said.
[01:08:14] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[01:08:15] Speaker B: You want that fucking shit right here, right now?
[01:08:18] Speaker A: Want that big old fat dick?
[01:08:20] Speaker B: Yeah, you want this? I actually have a funny joke ready. This is an original.
[01:08:24] Speaker A: I really hope it's funny. I really hope it's funny.
[01:08:29] Speaker B: All right. It's not that funny.
Which one is it? It's like, oh, you like sandwiches? Yeah, I give you the Italian foot long, but we don't got to go to Subway.
[01:08:41] Speaker A: That is the shittiest piece of shit that I'm cutting out, because that is the worst fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh, my God. I can't believe you just did that on fucking podcast.
Jesus. No, I'm kidding.
[01:08:55] Speaker B: Jesus.
[01:08:56] Speaker A: It wasn't good, but it's good, bro. Swing and you try.
[01:08:59] Speaker B: Come on.
[01:09:00] Speaker A: Sorry. I still love you.
[01:09:01] Speaker B: I love you, too. This is fun.
[01:09:03] Speaker A: It is fun.
[01:09:04] Speaker B: I like talking.
[01:09:05] Speaker A: It's fun. You're just talking shit. Talking about jerking off. Talking about everything.
[01:09:09] Speaker B: Kanye jerking off.
[01:09:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:09:11] Speaker B: On that note on that note, yeah. All right.
[01:09:16] Speaker A: I say thank you for coming. Thank you for coming, man.
[01:09:21] Speaker B: Thanks for having me.
[01:09:22] Speaker A: We'll see you next week, guys. Thank you so much for watching the three people that always fucking watch. Peace out, motherfucker.
Bye.
